uselessjz

[uselessjz]

I'm gonna be frail and pretty

[uselessjz]

making a list of my reasons to keep going so i don’t chicken out this time

jawline

cheekbones

collarbones

getting piggyback rides

people being able to lift you

being able to share clothes

boys will finally look at me

the lack of face fat will make my nose look skinnier and my eyes/lips look bigger

not being embarrassed to go shopping with my friends

being able to wear makeup and cute clothes without looking like a failure that’s trying too hard

finally suiting my height so i’ll be seen as short and cute instead of stubby and chubby

being prettier than all the other girls in my family

sex

not being scared of yearly doctor’s appointments

bikinis

crop tops

shorts

form fitting clothing in general

jewelry finally looking cute instead of awkward on me

rings fitting without looking like they’re stuck

shaving taking half the time

showers overall being less stressful

being able to look in a mirror

finally being one of the pretty ones at school

being hot by the time i get to college

the idea of people wanting to see me naked

being fucked instead of killed in fuck marry kill for once

or even just married

anything but killed honestly

being able to eat in front of people without looking like a fat pig

people thinking i’m cutely awkward when i’m uncoordinated and bad at sports instead of thinking i’m a lazy fat bitch

getting genuine compliments instead of desperate straight-up-lie compliments girls say to you to be nice when you compliment them

people finally wanting to be my friend instead of being ashamed to be near the ugly fat bitch

finally knowing my clothing size

not getting marks on my stomach from my jeans being too tight

being able to be in photos without looking ugly and disgusting

skinny hands

nail polish actually looking good on me bc my hands won’t be gross looking

going into dressing rooms with friends

not being embarrassed of telling my friends my bra size bc the band number won’t be fucking huge

not looking noticeably bulky when i wear baggy clothes

will be adding to this whenever i think of something new lol

[uselessjz]

ed culture is standing up and immediately having to grab the nearest wall

[uselessjz]

Relapse baby!! So fucking great!! So glad i woke up today<3

[uselessjz]

The only consistent thing in my life has been the inconsistency of my hand writing

[uselessjz]

i’m struggling restricting, i eat the same as everyone around me if not more. and am gaining so much. and i feel guilty about every single bite. but still do it. why.

so i’m going to set myself new rules.

1- out for dinner? only eat half, no starter, no pudding. only half of the main course. try have a salad, or whatever would be the lowest option.

2- tempted by food? picture it being super disgusting. picture it being made in a really gross environment.

3- only allowed to spend money that day if you’ve lost weight, and are in a fasted state.

4- fast for 23 hours a day. only have one hours eating window

5- try to eat out as little as possible

6- always eat around people

7- never finish your whole plate

8- drink 2-3 litres a day

excuses not to eat:

- not hungry

- had big breakfast

- stomach pains

- feel sick

- upset stomach

- eating at home

[uselessjz]

In 2 weeks you'll feel it

In 4 weeks you'll see it

In 8 weeks you'll hear it

[uselessjz]

Guess whose back on their shit 🫶🏻

[uselessjz]

absolute perfection oh my god, body goals.

[uselessjz]

[uselessjz]

Hey my account got taken down at around 900 followers. It used to be named @bruises-n-cigarettes. For all those who followed me/my mutuals no I didn’t stop posting, my acc has been terminated and I’m honestly very upset about it. It was a safe space for me and I’ve lost all of it. I had drafts that had some very important shit for me that I can now never get back. I had been following people who are making ongoing comics. I have had that account for 4 years. I get why it was taken down but it had some pretty important and personal stuff saved to it and now I don’t have that anymore. So thanks. Thanks tumblr for taking that away from me.