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utenamylove · 7 months
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Can I request for aftercare Geto with a reader when a session went too rough? Reader who's lost in subspace (eg head hitting the floor/headboard) and Geto didn't realize until afterward and panicking.
Yes, you may!
a quick note about subspace and BDSM, for those who don't know:
When a sub is interacting with a dom, it is very possible for them to go into something called "subspace". It doesn't happen every time, but can be induced with pain play, intense (but consensual) domming, or even just the overwhelming emotions that come with the scene.
There are various levels of subspace (from Marginally Down Space to Sub-Vocal space), and if a sub goes too deep (from Blonde Space to Sub-Vocal/Primal Space), the sub can have a hard time coming out of it OR have a massive sub drop. Symptoms of sub drop include but are not limited to: chills, fatigue, sadness, aches, and in the most intense cases, depression or lingering feelings of questioning and disbelief.
I adhere to the following rules with my fics and in real life: Safe, Sane, and Consensual play. In this fic, the sub!Reader is in Blonde Space. There is no non-con, abuse, or dub-con here, but do proceed with caution!
Come Back to Me: Dom!Geto Suguru x Sub!Fem!Reader
You can hear words, but you can't understand what they mean. Too complicated. Slow down.
"Y/n?" Your mind is sifting through the haze, trying to make sense of the words coming out of your dom's mouth. Your cheek is resting against the pillows, but your ass is up in the air, and that's all you know. That, and Suguru is touching your back.
But that's all you need right now.
"Talk to me, kitten. What's our safe word?" he whispers, head tilted to the side so you can look him in the eye.
"I don't know," you whisper, and he raises a brow, breath hissing out of his lungs. The cuffs come off of your ankles and wrists, and the collar is removed from your neck, falling to the floor in the heap of leather and metal, and your eyes follow Suguru's quick movements as he runs his hands through his hair, muttering to himself while gathering your favorite shirt from his closet and some socks from the dresser.
Things are slowed down, and you can't imagine being anywhere else than you are right now, still face down-ass up in the chilly room. Except... hadn't Suguru turned the heater on already? Or did you imagine that while he had you bound and was fucking you into the mattre--
You moan as socks are slid onto your cold feet, and he lifts you off of your chest, rolling you up against him so you're leaning on him as he slides the shirt over your weakened frame.
"I'm cold," you mumble, and he carries you from the bed to the chaise lounge by the window.
"I've got you. Don't worry," Suguru pants, shakily lowering you onto the suede furnishing. Water is produced along with dark chocolate Hershey kisses, and you look out of the windowpane, blinking slowly. "Drink this for me," your dom whispers, and you shift up slowly as he lifts the bottle to your lips. You can only take two sips before you pull back, resting your head against the lounge again. When he presents you with the unwrapped chocolate, you slowly accept it, because it comes from your dom. Didn't he want the best for you?
"Give me one second." The black-haired man goes back into his closet, shrugging on a shirt, and coming back out with his hands in his joggers as you watch, trying to find the words to articulate how you feel. But they escape you with every breath you take, and Suguru places his hand on your forehead, stroking your skin with his thumb as he squats down next to you.
"We hit a limit," he admits. "I should've paid attention more. I'm sorry, kitten." You can't give him any reassurances in your current state, but you blink twice, hoping he would get the message that it was okay. You weren't hurt, nor were you angry. He smooths his hand over your cheek, sighing heavily, and you place your hand over his, rubbing the veins on the back of it slowly. He tries to smile, leaning over to press his lips to yours tenderly before tucking his face into your neck. "Just come back to me, baby," he murmurs, exhaling deeply. "Come back to me."
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utenamylove · 8 months
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wakaba shinohara makes me fucking insane. you are the main character’s best friend and you know it. you do your best to keep her from harm and still you fail because she is the main character, and you don’t even know the extent of what she’s going through, and you’re not around for long enough to find out because you’re the main character’s best friend and the story doesn’t need you to know. but you know her like no one else does, if only in words. you know when she’s had a fight. you don’t know why she’s wearing something different today but you know it isn’t good. you know how to cheer her up, but you don’t know why it isn’t working. she gets a funny look in her eyes and then she’s sorted it out on her own, but she thanks you anyway. one day, something happens to you and you finally feel seen and important and special, and then once you’ve been hurt again you realize that you’d fallen into the arms of a different main character, and you can never be a protagonist on your own: your specialness lies in your proximity to special people. you fight her in the arena above the forest, and she refuses to draw her sword. you forget it the next day. time goes by and things are so boring for you, and it’s too quiet around here, and you wish something exciting would happen, a fight or something, wouldn’t that be exciting? a fight? you’re the main character’s best friend and she’s escaped the story but you don’t know it, and you wait a while at the door of the tower she’s never explained to you, as the sun sets, peaceful, quiet, and you don’t know she’s gone for good, you don’t know you’re soon going to forget that too. you wanted to do your math homework together.
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utenamylove · 8 months
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ohtori dashboard simulator
🐄 calf-kin Follow
WHO KEEPS LETTING ANIMALS LOOSE IN THE HALLWAYS
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🎹 sunlitgarden Follow
Has anyone else noticed that time is really weird?
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🧅 onion-princess123 Follow
making lunch for my beautiful boyfriend <33
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snail-lover-deactivated011998
just made dinner for my roommate ^_^
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girlprince-deactivated121997
i never ever wanna walk up another flight of stairs again in my life once this school year is over
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6524771891-deactivated Follow
what the fuck does our student council even do like actually
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🌹 touga-kiryuu Follow
If it cannot break its egg's shell, a chick will die without being born. We are the chick. The world is our egg. If we don't crack the world's shell, we will die without being born. Smash the world's shell!
#deep #inspirational #poetry #poetic #quotes #literature #dark academia
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🌹 ohtori-official
If you or a friend/loved one is currently attending Ohtori Academy, please remember that you can get a free counselling session in the abandonded building at the edge of campus.
- Souji Mikage
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🪺 lonchura-oruzivora Follow
if someone i hate just so happens to fall down the stairs while i'm walking by how is that my fault 🙄🙄
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⚔️ kendocaptain Follow
just got my ass kicked by a middle school girl for the third time in a row dhmu..
#sad #vent #delete later
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🐄 calf-kin Follow
🐄 calf-kin Follow
Anyone who voted no DNI !!!!!!!
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🎭 abc-ko Follow
reblog if you think the chairman should fund the drama club more instead of spending all the board money on sports cars
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snail-lover-deactivated011998
Akio Ohtori Call-Out Post
Keep Reading
#in other news i'm dropping out of school #goodbye forever i will not miss any of you
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utenamylove · 8 months
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I'm rewatching Utena for the 4th or 5th time, and I had a revelation about something that's always puzzled me. In episode 12, Anthy has an internal monologue about how seeing Utena defend her against Touga while wounded reminds her of something, but she doesn't tell us what. I believe this is the only time in the entire series that we hear Anthy's thoughts, which makes me think it's pretty important.
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The obvious answer is that Utena reminds Anthy of Dios - Utena has been set up as a prince defending Anthy, we've gotten all kinds of language about her summoning the power of Dios, and the fairytale, silhouette version of Dios even flashes on the screen as Anthy thinks this. But that never felt quite right to me. Even though we're told over and over that princes defend people, we never see Dios defending anyone. We never see him do anything at all, really!
I think, in this scene, Utena reminds Anthy of herself. We don't ever see Dios defending Anthy, but we do see young Anthy, wounded, defending Dios! Anthy's shock isn't because she sees that Utena is like Dios - she's known all along that the dueling game is setting up Utena to be like Dios; that's the point. Anthy's shock is in the sudden reminder of who she used to be, before she fell into a cycle of abuse, victimhood, and helplessness. Anthy used to be someone who could defend people; she used to care; she used to have agency.
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It foreshadows the end of the series: Utena can't save Anthy. Even in winning the duel against Touga, she's still perpetuating the empty cycle; Anthy is still the Rose Bride. But Utena can remind Anthy that she's a person, she has agency, and she can choose to just walk away. This is the duel called "self": for Utena, it's about taking back who she used to be. And it's a reminder to Anthy that someday, she can do the same.
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utenamylove · 8 months
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I’m sorry for making everything about Utena. It’s just that everything is about Utena
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utenamylove · 8 months
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utenamylove · 8 months
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Why did you delete my ask?? All I’m saying is that the lonely BookTok housewife porn addicts are weird and should read some fic 😂
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utenamylove · 8 months
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yes & no by natalie wee
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utenamylove · 8 months
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Once upon a time…
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utenamylove · 9 months
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The bisexual urge to wear eyeliner until the day I die
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utenamylove · 9 months
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naruto is good but only if you imagine the ways in which it could have been if like everything had been different
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utenamylove · 9 months
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“I typically arrive three years too late. I wish I had been able to sit in that white, aromatic kitchen and look you in the face but I was not ready. I was still on my way.”
— Mikko Harvey, from “Wind-Related Ripple in the Wheatfield,” Sixth Finch (Spring 2021)
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utenamylove · 9 months
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Jenny Diski, The Vanishing Princess
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utenamylove · 9 months
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Do Not Answer
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Pairing: Suguru Geto x Female Reader
Summary: You’d ended things with Suguru a while ago; when his execution was set after he’d slaughtered an entire village and when he’d tried to get you to join him in his endeavors of “cleansing the world”. He’d tried to convince you that this was for the greater good, to make the world a better place. But you weren’t one of his cult followers and you definitely weren’t a murderer. Despite this, Suguru had… a hard time letting go.
Warnings: Smut, Vaginal Sex, Threats of Violence, Jealousy, Jealous Behavior, Oral Sex, Unprotected Sex, Breeding Kink, Creampie, Possessive Sex, Possessive Behavior
**MINORS DNI**
You’re lying in bed, scrolling mindlessly on your phone. It’s late and the day has been way too long. After finishing up lectures with your students, you feel absolutely drained. Today’s lesson on cursed energy control wiped you out. All you can think about is finally being able to close your eyes and sleep, but for some reason your mind won’t let you. 
A chilly breeze sneaks through the cracks of the closed window at the foot of your bed.
It’s your second year as a teacher at Tokyo Jujutsu Technical School, though you used to be a student here as well. After graduation, you knew you wouldn’t be able to cut it in the real world and certain…events that took place shortly after your graduation also made you wary to leave. So you accepted a teaching position and moved into the teacher’s dorms.
You enjoyed your work as a teacher. The students depended on you to teach them the necessary skills for survival and you were happy to do so. They filled your life with purpose even if you felt a deep loneliness in the late hours of your room when the day came to an end.
Your phone vibrates, a text window appearing above the array of shirts you’re scrolling through as you fight your boredom with online shopping. 
W: What are you up to right now?
Ah, your current “relationship”, if you could call it that, probably wondering if he could come over. You’d been seeing him casually for a couple of months, nothing serious. You had met him on assignment in Yokosuka. He was a window who had stumbled upon a particularly nasty semi-grade 2 curse and had called the school to assist since windows only possessed enough cursed energy to see curses, but not enough to actually exorcize them. They dispatched you since Nanami had been on assignment elsewhere and the rest was history. 
He was a sweet guy, a little bland, but nice nonetheless. He treated you well, made you laugh sometimes and most importantly he wasn’t a mass murderer . He was simple - safe, probably as close to normal as you’d ever find in the world of jujutsu sorcery. It was exactly what you needed in your life after him . You push the thought to the back of your mind as you type out your response. 
You: Just doing some late night shopping. Might head to bed soon. You?
You were too tired to entertain a guest even if you couldn’t sleep. It was better to just put that out there before he asked to come over. Your phone vibrates again with another text as soon as you hit send. 
DONT FUCKING ANSWER 1: hey
You swipe the message off your screen immediately. 
Nope. No way. 
You continue your scrolling through the shop's online inventory, occasionally responding to W’s text messages. You add a couple cute tops to your shopping cart and a pair of jeans which after a while of scrolling you decide you don’t like that much and remove them from your cart. Your phone buzzes in your hands.
W: I think I’m going to head to bed now, babe. I’ll text you in the morning. Goodnight.
You go to respond when your phone buzzes again.
DONT FUCKING ANSWER 1: Are you up? Can I call you?
You swipe the text away. Another message follows.
DONT FUCKING ANSWER 2: I know you’re awake.
You roll your eyes. Persistent as ever. Entitled as ever. You should block him, you would block him, but you’ve made that mistake before. You’re a quick learner and it only took you blocking him the first time for him to get two new phones so he could blow you up from both. So you decided to just save both numbers under “DONT FUCKING ANSWER 1” and “DONT FUCKING ANSWER 2”. You’re fairly certain that one of these days you’ll have to add a “DONT FUCKING ANSWER 3, 4 and 5” to your contacts.
You huff. Once again , you swipe the text from your screen, shooting W a quick goodnight text before you toss your phone onto your bedside table after setting it to do not disturb. You turn over in bed, pulling the blankets up to your chin.
The warmth of the blanket is calming, soothing against the contrasting cold of your room. The quiet howl of the wind blowing outside serves almost as a lullaby, your eyes getting heavier as you let the darkness finally consume you.
Click
The rush of the wind is louder now, and you’re positive the room temperature has dipped at least four degrees. You hear the same click that woke you again within a few seconds, the sound of the wind dying and then you feel his presence before his feet even touch the ground. You know exactly who it is.
You sit up, blinking the sleep from your eyes just in time to see Suguru Geto climbing down from your window. He lands gracefully on his feet, his long dark hair bouncing with the force of the landing. 
Always one to make an entrance. 
Tonight, he’s foregone his religious robes and dons a black long sleeve and those damn sexy harem pants he used to wear. You hate the way your body responds to seeing him, your heart racing when he flashes you that grin that used to make you melt beneath him - still , makes you want to melt beneath him.
Your ex-boyfriend, Suguru.
You stare at him, not saying a word. “Ignoring me now?” He asks simply, lifting his hand to toss his bangs out of the way.
“What gave it away?” You reply, not bothering to hide the sarcasm. “Me not responding to any of your messages? Me not answering your calls or me blocking you on every form of social media available? I’m always ignoring you, Suguru.” 
Suguru grins, you know he’s grinning because you can see his white teeth shine in the dark with his lazy smile. You haven’t spoken in months now - well you haven’t. Suguru, as always, never shuts up. He insists on calling you, texting you, letting his presence be known when you’re out and about by sending his curses your way. They never do anything to harm you. He almost lets them loose like friendly dogs off of a leash, their grotesque forms finding their way to you and nuzzling against your cheek, rubbing against your leg. You’d exorcize them, but you know what they mean to him so you leave them be.
You’d ended things with Suguru a while ago; when his execution was set after he’d slaughtered an entire village and when he’d tried to get you to join him in his endeavors of “cleansing the world”. He’d tried to convince you that this was for the greater good, to make the world a better place. But you weren’t one of his cult followers and you definitely weren’t a murderer. Despite this, Suguru had… a hard time letting go.
You sigh, rubbing your temple where you feel the telltale signs of a migraine coming on. “You shouldn’t be here, Suguru. You’re a wanted man. I should report you to the higher ups.”
Suguru’s hands come up with a shrug, his tongue poking out between his lips teasingly. “Yeah. But you won’t.”
And he’s right. You won’t say anything because you can’t bear the thought of him dying. 
Suguru leans casually against the windowsill, fixing you with a wistful smile. It only makes your heart beat faster, the way Suguru never bothers to conceal what he’s feeling. Ever.
“Why have you been ignoring me? I miss you.”
But Suguru is different from the Suguru you used to know. It doesn’t mean you don’t still care for him, but it means you have to be a bit more careful with your feelings for him now.
You hum as though you’re really giving this question some thought when the answer is so fucking obvious. “Oh, I don’t know, Suguru. Maybe because associating with you means a target on my back and if I’m being honest, I’m not really in the mood for Satoru to blow a Hollow Purple through my skull.”
Suguru mulls this over, his face only portraying boredom at the mention of his former best friend. “So what have you been up to lately?” 
He always changes the subject so easily when you make a good point, not caring that you’ve clearly told him you want nothing to do with him. You don’t answer, hoping he’ll get uncomfortable enough in the heavy silence to just…leave. He doesn’t. Which is just like Suguru. It’s aggravating, but endearing at the same time. You miss his stubbornness sometimes and this reminds you of your time together.
“Been having fun with your friend?” he asks suddenly, looking over his nails. 
You stiffen, but try not to give anything away. “What are you talking about?”
Suguru laughs loudly, making you stiffen even further if possible. He knows if anyone hears him here, finds him here, you’re both so fucked. Dead. Immediately dead. But he doesn’t care. He’d like to see someone try and come kill him and he’d especially love to rip the head off of whoever tries to come kill you. More than anything though, he wants to rip the head off of the guy he’s been watching you with for the last couple of months.
“Come on. We can be friends!” He lies. “Tell me about him. What’s he liiiike?” he asks in a sing-song voice, eyes closing as he smiles widely. You debate on telling him. Will he leave faster if you just tell him you’re seeing someone else? You go against your better judgment and tell him anyway.
You keep it short and sweet, not wanting to give too much detail about W. But of course, Suguru pries for more.
“Oh? How nice for you. A fellow sorcerer, then? What grade?”
Of course he wants to know. Because Suguru wants to be the top. The top sorcerer, the top curse user, the top man in your life whether you’re with him or not. 
“Not necessarily. He’s a window.” You tell him, and you’re not sure why the way Suguru’s brows shoot up and his eyes widen make you feel so fucking embarrassed.
Suguru blinks, then looks at you with pity, his bottom lip protruding in a pout. 
“A window ? You may as well be dating one of these plebeian monkeys roaming the streets!” He throws his head back dramatically, brows furrowed as he sighs loudly. You flinch, hoping he’ll just leave after telling you how much you’ve lowered the bar for yourself.
He says your name as if he’s trying to plead with you. “You may have made the biggest mistake of your life by leaving me,” he lays his hand against his chest, flipping his bangs out of his face again. “But I can't allow you to tie yourself to the dead weight of a window.”
You scoff. “You’re not allowing me to do anything, Suguru. I like him and I don’t care that he’s a window. He knows what he’s doing. He’s not dead weight.”
“And if a curse attacks him? What will he do? He’ll be helpless to defend himself. Unless you plan on being next to him every second of his life?”
He makes a good point, but something about the way Suguru asks this makes your skin crawl. 
“He’s been okay his whole life. He won’t be attacked or killed by a curse.” You bite back, trying to convince him…and maybe yourself a little bit.
“Hmm?” Suguru pouts again as he takes a step closer to your bed. “Are you sure ?”
You sit up straight, nodding your head, trying not to betray to him how nervous he’s making you by asking you this. You know now your association with W puts him at risk.
“You promise he’ll be okay?”
You hesitate for a brief second, but you nod again. 
“And what if I can promise he won’t be?” His lips spread in a grin as he takes yet another step closer to you. You take a deep breath, steadying your racing adrenaline.
“I sincerely hope you’re not threatening my boyfriend, Suguru.”
He stops in his tracks, his head cocking to the side in curiousity. “Boyfriend? You never mentioned you were that serious about him.”
You’re not, but Suguru doesn’t need to know that. W is an innocent bystander in this and Suguru’s jealousy shouldn’t lead to W’s untimely demise. You hope this little fib prompts Suguru to drop it, maybe move on with his life even though you’re secure enough in yourself to admit that would hurt.
In true Suguru fashion, he only takes this as competition…and you kind of like that. He closes the gap between himself and you, leaning forward until your noses are touching. You don’t move away, you never have. His antics may scare others, but he’s never scared you. It’s what he loves about you. You’re up to the challenge. You meet him blow for blow. It’s why he can’t let you go. It’s why he can’t fucking bear the thought of another man wrapping his arms around you, of you finding someone else.
“Do you love him?” His voice is quiet, serious. You don’t, you’re not even sure how much you like W, but Suguru is hovering over you with his domineering presence you love so much and he smells so good. You can feel his jealousy radiating off of him and honestly, it’s fucking sexy. It only makes you want to piss him off more, so you lie again.
“I think I do, actually,” you breathe out. And even in the dark, you can see the way Suguru’s nose crinkles in disgust, disappointment even.
“A common window. You’re in love with a window ,” he stresses the last word as his hand comes up to rest on the back of your neck. Your breath hitches in your throat, your body doing what it always does when Suguru’s involved – reacting. It’s the reason you don’t talk to or see him. You’re weak for him. You always have been.
“And what if I am?” You challenge him, raising your chin so that your lips are barely a breath apart. The slightest movement and your lips would be touching. Suguru’s grip tightens on the back of your neck and you resist the feeling of wanting to roll your eyes back in pleasure.
“If you are,” he says, pulling back slightly to ghost his lips over your face, down your neck and to your pulsepoint. “Maybe I’ll let you live a happy little life with him. You can go on being a Grade 1 sorcerer – exorcizing curses, protecting your feeble window lover, maybe even have weak little children with hardly any cursed energy that you’ll have to retire to protect.”
He’s really killing the mood here.
Until he bites down on your pulsepoint and you gasp into the cold air of your dorm room. The pain is immediately soothed by Suguru slowly dragging his tongue over the bruise and you can’t help the moan that rushes past your lips.
“ Or maybe I’ll just kill him .”
The threat goes straight to your core. You cross your legs underneath your blanket, the steady pulse in your center already starting to drive you insane.
Suguru is back to lapping at the wound on your neck as though he didn’t just say he would kill your lover…boyfriend… friend…what the fuck ever W is to you. 
“I’d never let you kill him,” you pant into his hair. You don’t touch him, not yet at least. Suguru has always liked it that way; him making you so desperate with his own touch until you can’t do anything but grip onto him.
“You couldn’t stop me if you tried. You’re strong,” he reaches for the blanket and peels it back, groaning when he feels you shiver as you’re exposed to the cool night air. “You’re not strong enough to stop me though. You’re not stupid enough to try either.”
He runs his nose back up your neck, along your jawline until he’s face to face with you again. His free hand comes up to glide through the valley of your breasts and he sighs longingly, like he’s been dreaming of touching you here for a long time. He has. 
Suguru has no qualms in admitting that he thinks of you always, watches you constantly. That he fucks his own hand to the thought of you whenever he has a free moment to himself. You never respond to him or acknowledge his presence and it makes him crazy. But he likes to think he knows you better than you know yourself. He knows you think of him too. You like that he chases you. Otherwise you’d have changed your number long ago. You’re still his. It doesn’t matter who you’re with. 
But Suguru also has no qualms in admitting the thought of someone touching what’s his, especially a lowly window, makes him irate. The hand on the back of your neck slides up to your hair where he grips it and tugs a little harder than he intended. Doesn’t matter. He gets the response he wanted when your lips part with a soft moan. He stares down at you, eyes half-lidded, pretty lips parted, chest rising and falling with quick breaths and he can’t wait to ruin you for your little window boyfriend. 
“Break up with him,” he commands and he snarls quietly when he sees that defiant smirk he loves spread across your face. 
“No, I don’t think I will.”
“I’ll kill him and then I’ll kill you.”
“No, you won’t.”
You stare him down, not backing down from his challenge and Suguru groans, his hips coming forward to press against the mattress in search of friction. This little argument is making him so hard he’s starting to lose focus, but he wants you to agree to leave your stupid boyfriend before he goes any further. Not because he’ll feel bad for making a move while you’re in a relationship, but because he has bigger plans for the long-term and he needs you freed up for it.
He yanks your head back by your hair, grinning down at you while you return the same vicious smile. Fuck, he loves you. It’s fine if you won’t agree to leave the window. It’ll only make this more fun for him.
He bends down, his lips hovering over yours once again before he says, “I want you.”
You contemplate keeping up the ruse that you and W are dating, that you love him when in reality you’re so fucking bored out of your mind with him, with life, with everything. You won’t agree to break up with W, because you’re not really even dating him. Besides, this will make it more fun for you.
You hold Suguru’s gaze before telling him, “Just for tonight.” It’s a lie. You know if he shows up again you’ll give in, but it’s all he needs to hear before his lips are crashing into yours, taking everything you have to offer.
Your hands move into his hair and Suguru shivers under your touch, moaning when you open your mouth for his tongue to slide past your lips. Your tongues dance together, tasting each other the way you used to until you have to pull apart, gasping for air as you stare each other down.
You release Suguru’s hair and push him back to standing. Your fingers slide down his torso to the waistband of his pants. He watches you closely, tongue darting out absentmindedly to drag across his bottom lip. You slide your hand into the front of his pants, palming his cock through his briefs. His hips come forward to press into your hand, a quiet sigh escaping him as his hands come down to cup your face.
He bends down to give you a quick kiss.
“Let me fuck your mouth,” he says, still rutting into your palm.
You nod, sliding your other hand into his waistband and tugging his pants and briefs down at the same time. Suguru steps back briefly, grunting with displeasure at the loss of contact, to kick off his shoes and pull his pants all the way down. As he does this, you shift to lay on your stomach on the bed, watching the way his cock springs forth from his pants and smacks loud against his own stomach.
When Suguru comes back to the edge of your bed, he goes back to cupping your face with his hands. You take the time to admire his pretty dick illuminated in the moonlight. The tip is red, weeping pre-cum already. You bring your hand forward, gripping the shaft and squeezing. Suguru hisses, hips bucking forward into your hand. He softly places his own hand on the back of your head. You roll your tongue out and give his tip a gentle squeeze, letting the pre-cum drip slowly on to your tongue. You missed the taste of him. You can’t lie. 
You let your eyes roam up Suguru’s body until you make eye contact with those deep brown eyes. Suguru’s hand presses down on your head, coaxing you forward.
“You’re so fucking sexy like this,” Suguru groans above you. “Open your mouth, baby.”
You obey with no hesitation, letting your lips fall open. He slowly rolls his hips forward, his cock entering the warm cavern of your mouth.
“ Fuck, ” Suguru moans. You lift your hands, caressing his thighs and opening your throat as Suguru slides easily into your mouth until it touches your throat. You watch as he tilts his head back, sighing softly.
You love this feeling. You can kick the head off of a curse, snap someone’s neck with no problem. But it’s when you’re making Suguru Geto – Special Grade curse user, mass murderer, wanted fugitive – come undone before you that you feel the most powerful.
You hum when you feel Suguru’s cock touch the back of your throat, your pride swelling when you feel his legs shake at the sensation. He pushes your head down more with both hands now, his body coming forward to loom over you. He doesn’t move, just holds you there breathing harshly over your form as you hold his dick in the back of your throat.
“God, fucking shit ,” he groans through gritted teeth as he pushes you so far down your nose is buried in the soft hair that lies above the base of his cock. You feel tears forming in the corners of your eyes, but you make no move to wipe them away. Suguru likes that. He pulls out sharply with a loud gasp, taking one deep breath before he grabs the base of his length and plunges himself back into your mouth in one swift motion.
“You know how I feel about this mouth, baby,” he grunts, pulling out just to slam himself into your throat over and over and over. You moan around his dick, pulling a gasping breath from Suguru as he slams into your mouth relentlessly. 
“Look at me,” he moans out. “I wanna watch you while I fuck your throat until you cry.”
You peer up at him through your lashes and Suguru watches as the moonlight illuminates the tears pooling at the corners of your eyes. This is his favorite look on you. You with your lips wrapped around his dick while he literally fucks your mouth until you’re crying. He has to bite the inside of his cheek so he doesn’t come down your throat when the tears finally fall, leaving a sparkling trail down your cheeks.
He wants to keep fucking your face like this, but if he’s being honest, he knows he won’t last long. He’s been holding out for this moment where he gets to have you again. He hasn’t been with anyone since you. He’s been waiting only for you . The thought of finally having you again makes his balls tighten and he pulls out of your mouth with a loud POP, motioning for you to get up.
“Take it off,” he demands, pointing to your clothes.
You waste no time, stripping yourself of your shirt, shorts and panties. Suguru crawls on to the bed, pushing you down onto your back as he climbs over you. He drinks in the sight of you beneath him, naked and as beautiful as he remembers before he dives down to capture your lips in a sloppy kiss, moaning loudly when he tastes the mixture of you and himself on your tongue.
His hand slides down between your bodies, past your chest, over one of your hardened nipples, down your stomach and further until Suguru’s fingers find the warm heat between your legs. He sighs into your mouth as his fingers spread your folds to find you soaking wet.
“Do you let window touch you like this?” He asks, sliding a finger over your clit. You whimper beneath him, watching as he smirks above you. He would guess not, but he likes making you squirm a little anyway.
He rubs lazy circles on the sensitive nub, bringing his face down to kiss on the now darkening bruise forming on your pulsepoint from his earlier bite.
“Has he made you come yet?” He murmurs into your neck, kissing and sucking as he makes his way back up to your mouth. He slots his lips against yours, swallowing your mewls when he flicks his fingers roughly over your clit before you can answer.
Suguru feels his cock throb listening to the sounds you make. It’s been so long since he’s heard them. He wants to hear more.
“Does he get to taste you?” Suguru asks, sliding his fingers up and down your folds before bringing his fingers up to his mouth. He turns his fingers in front of him and observes the way the moonlight makes your slick glisten against his skin. He parts his lips, slowly slipping his fingers into his mouth and sucking, eyes rolling back at the heady taste of you. You watch him with lust filled eyes, moaning at the action.
You haven’t answered a single question. Suguru won’t let you. The moment the question leaves his lips, he’s touching you, overstimulating you. Your body feels like it’s on fire beneath him.
“I fucking hope not, baby,” he says as he shifts his body to slide his hips between your thighs. You feel his length press against you and you whine, rolling your hips up to meet Suguru’s. He chuckles. Suguru bends down to kiss you again, whispering against your lips. “If he’s tasted you, I really will just kill him .”
You don’t have time to react as Suguru rears his hips back before thrusting straight into you. You cry out sharply, back arching until your sensitive nipples are pressed into Suguru’s chest. He dips down, taking one of the soft peaks into his mouth, rolling it expertly with his tongue. Your breathing is coming erratically now, but you know Suguru. He isn’t going to let up.
He gives you about three seconds to adjust to the way he absolutely fills your pussy before he’s moving, bottoming out on his second thrust. You wrap your legs around his waist, your hands flying up into his hair.
Suguru moves off of one nipple to move to the neglected one and takes it into his mouth. Your grip on his tresses tighten and he groans. The vibrations make your walls clamp down around him and he sucks harder on the sensitive bud until he decides he wants to kiss you. He lets go with another loud POP and kisses his way up the swell of your breasts, up your neck to your mouth where he swallows your cries as he fucks into you.
Suguru almost forgot how tight you were, how your pussy squeezes his cock for dear life every time he’s inside of you. He feels a tingle run up his spine at the familiar sensation and slows down just a bit so he doesn’t come yet.
He rolls his hips lazily into yours, nothing but the lewd squelching sounds of your bodies meeting and both yours and Suguru’s soft whimpers filling the air.
“I could live in your pussy forever,” he whispers, sliding his hand up to your throat and resting it there. He doesn’t squeeze, he never does but he knows you like the thrill of the idle threat.
You say nothing, eyes squeezed shut as you whine softly beneath him. 
“Let me have you forever, baby,” he begs.
You shake your head, keeping your eyes closed. It’s so easy to lose yourself in him, to give him all of you. He’ll consume you and in this moment, you’d let him.
“I can’t, Suguru.”
He cups your cheek in his hand as he continues his slow thrusts.
“I’ll take care of you. I swear.”
You know he’s close. He gets so needy when he is.
“I promise, baby,” he kisses your forehead, trailing kisses down the side of your face, your neck, back up to your lips. “You’ll never want for anything. I just need you with me. I miss you. I love you. Please .”
You can’t. You won’t. You’ve resisted him this whole time. You’ve fought the urge all this time. No contact, no communication.
And yet, Suguru still has your legs spread wide open as he buries himself to the hilt with each thrust.
The tears well up again. Because you know you’re done for. You were always done for when it came to him. 
At the sight of fresh tears rolling down your cheeks, Suguru bends down, kissing them away. He has his answer, but he’ll wait for you to say it. Right now, he just needs this moment with you.
His hips pick up speed, his hand coming down to grip your hip so tightly you’re sure you’ll have a bruise there tomorrow. He thrusts into you deeply, grunting in pleasure at the feel of you getting tighter around him. 
Suguru slides his hand around to your lower back, lifting your hips for a better angle as he slams into you. You cry out at the slight change in position, feeling him hitting deeper and deeper with each stroke.
“Suguru, please”, you whine, tugging his hair so his forehead comes down to meet yours. He groans at your breaths mingling as he pumps into you.
“Tell me what you want, baby. It’s yours. I’m yours. I’ll give you anything. Anything. Fucking anything –” He’s babbling now and you know he’s about to cum.
You let one hand slip from Suguru’s hair to slide down between your bodies. Your fingers find your clit and you rub in time with his thrusts. Suguru moans, eyes watching you play with yourself while he fucks into you.
“So fucking sexy. I never wanna leave this pussy. I swear. Fuck, baby. I love you. Come with me. Leave with me.”
The proposition startles you for all of two seconds before your orgasm shoots through you, a broken cry of his name ripping from your throat. 
Suguru slams his lips against yours, smothering your cries as he pumps into you harder, faster. He pants loudly before he buries his face in your neck when he feels his cock pulse hard inside you, a guttural groan emerging from deep within his chest as hot spurts of cum fill you up.
You’re both trying to catch your breath, holding each other’s sweaty forms tightly. You don’t know how long you hold each other for. You only know that you must have drifted off to sleep shortly after because when you wake up, the room is about four degrees colder again and Suguru is halfway out the window.
You shoot up in your bed calling out to him. He turns to face you, the same lazy grin from earlier back on his face.
“Yes?” He says, tilting his head to the side curiously.
Even in the throes of passion, you know Suguru only speaks his truth. He never hides his feelings. Not now. Not ever. He had wanted you to go with him before, but you weren’t a murderer and you had lived a life before Suguru Geto that you were sure you could go back to.
Now you’ve lived life without Suguru Geto and you weren’t sure you wanted to spend the rest of your life living it without him.
You watch him for a moment as he sits perched on your windowsill, his hair blowing in the wind. He looks exactly like the type of monster they warn you about when you’re studying to be a sorcerer. But he’s your monster and you know him well enough to know that you really would never want for anything. You sit for awhile, wondering if what the fuck you’re about to do is smart. It fucking isn’t. You know it isn’t. You’re essentially signing your own death warrant, but…you can’t let him go. Not like this. Not ever.
So you wordlessly slide out from under the blankets, slip your clothes and shoes on and follow Suguru out the window.
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utenamylove · 9 months
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something i love about the rooftop scene is that while it is the first real moment of genuine honesty and vulnerability between utena and anthy, and they're taking a huge step forward in acknowledging the ways they've hurt each other and the mistakes they've made, they also both end up taking several steps backwards in the duel the day after. and it just goes to show that healing from trauma and growing to become a better person is not a linear process. a lot of the time you're going to fall back into old unhealthy habits and make decisions that hurt yourself or others.
that moment they have alone on the roof is so incredibly important for them and their relationship, but as soon as their abuser is in the room with them again, they retreat back into the roles they supposedly agreed to abandon. utena goes back to her prince role despite finally having realized the harm it has caused anthy, because it's still the only way she knows how to cope, and it's all she can think to do to oppose akio. and anthy, out of fear and resentment and hopelessness for the future, ends up siding with akio and stabbing utena in the back.
none of this undoes the progress they made in being open with each other, though. you're not undeserving of redemption just because it doesn't all happen at once. sometimes the only way to grow is to take two steps forward and one step back
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utenamylove · 9 months
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i think one of the most interesting ways to look at the differences between the series and the movie, is that the first is mostly from utena's and/or akio's perspective, while the latter is mostly from anthy's. and i like how this explains the drastic change in akio's character between the two. in the show he is more charismatic, more powerful, has a larger role in the story, because this is how he presents himself both to us as the audience and to utena. but anthy knows him and how pathetic he really is, and so when we see him in her narrative instead of his own, it becomes incredibly obvious. he can't drive his car, he doesn't have any real control over all the things he pretends to, he panics and kills himself the moment there's even the threat of consequences for what he does. it works doubly well if you read the movie as a sequel, because that's when anthy has truly lost all faith in him and the idea of the prince. he's dead the entire time because he's dead to her.
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utenamylove · 9 months
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"it's easy to get people to agree with you if you use their in-group buzzwords" is not restricted to conservatives guys. i see you guys doing this all the time
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