valentinerose529

[valentinerose529]

[valentinerose529]

actually can we have Tim not being adopted into the batfamily and instead after his parents go broke and then die leaving him with nothing he just decides ‘well i know where the batcave is’ and starts living in the tunnels underneath Wayne manor because of the logic that he can’t get kicked out bcs 1. squatters rights and 2. whats Bruce gonna do? call the police and say ‘this guy won’t leave my secret lair. no im not Batman wdym’? and he manages to go unnoticed for like. a good fucking while. not even Alfred realises bcs wtf would he be snooping around down there for?

even better is this happens after Jason dies so Tim still becomes Robin and Bruce is so overwhelmed with grief that he literally never realises that Tim has never once used the front door to come over. he just kinda sneaks up from somewhere in the cave. he assumes that Alfred’s letting the kid in without telling him. Alfred assumes Bruce is doing the same.

Damian finds out first because that’s so much funnier. he gets to Gotham to 1. gain his birthright and meet his father and 2. do some reconnaissance/avenging of this replacement Robin that’s been the centre of Jason’s angry rants at the league for the past 6 months. he follows Tim ‘home’ and finds him fucking. golluming it up a 15 minute hike through the cave system and he’s like. wait what.

Damian, reporting back to Jason: Drake is a mole.

Jason, vindicated: like he’s working for the enemy?!

Damian, standing in front of an indignant Tim in the middle of his ‘camp’, phone pressed to his ear: no like he lives in a fucking tunnel.

Jason:

Tim, mumbling: slightly harsh,

Damian, angling his face away from the phone momentarily: i watched you dig a hole to unearth the protein bars you’d buried there.

Tim:

Jason, rapidly changing his opinion on this kid: ok actually lets not kill him because thats fucking hysterical and i want to know more-

Tim really likes living alone in the tunnels because he’s a weird little guy and he’s gotten used to the independence and lack of sun, and Damian grew up in the league where ‘wilderness training’ was monthly, mandatory, and from the age of three. so he really doesn’t see the issue in it. he just kinda shrugs and accepts his brother lives in the cave system. Jason is so delighted and amused by the vibes these two kids have going on over in Gotham (he gets video calls from Damian just. in Tim’s camp while they hang out together sometimes. Damian brings him water bottles and various sustenance offerings like he’s appealing so some ancient deity living under their house. Jason thinks it’s incredible) that he decides fuck the league, he needs to see this in person. killing the Joker is a side quest he did on the way; he really only came to see what his idiot little brothers had going on under Bruce, Dick and Alfreds nose. he visits Tim’s little cave home while waiting for his new Crime Alley apartment to be ready.

eventually Bruce and Dick are working on a case and they’re following a lead to do with a criminal escaping via cave systems that they theorise may connect to the batcave, so after Damian’s gone to bed they suit up and start searching around. they come across Damian, Tim, and the fucking Red Hood chilling around a small fire just casually eating leftovers Damian snuck down from the kitchen, just quietly enjoying each others presence in this clearly years old campsite, quietly discussing whether or not the weather will be clear enough next week to go to the new art museum together. Dick shines a flashlight at them and they all snap to attention like that scene in ratatouille where the human comes in the kitchen and the rats all freeze and look up. nobody says anything for a solid three minutes.

eventually Tim is just like “I have squatters rights. you can’t evict me.” and Red Hood nods and points at him.

Bruce, desperate to gain some kind of thread of understanding here: “Damian, you’re supposed to be in bed. …Tim, I’m actually not sure where you’re supposed to be, come to think of it, but I don’t think it’s here.”

“He just said he has squatters rights, father.” Damian responds instantly. “Keep up.”

Dick: “And does the Red Hood have squatters rights?”

“I have a gun,” Jason points out cheerfully. “Same thing, ain’t it?”

Dick and Bruce are so confused they become convinced that they’ve been dosed with something and only figure out whats going on after putting on gas masks and testing everybody’s blood.

[valentinerose529]

Every poll on this blog is about fictional characters only. This request was sent to us and we made a poll in response to it. Send any Blorbo-related question you want to our inbox and we’ll make a poll on which people can vote with their own Blorbos in minds

[valentinerose529]

environmental storytelling

[valentinerose529]

*in the middle of a breakdown* Omg wait. this is just like the character

[valentinerose529]

the first sound of the future

[valentinerose529]

So there are several species of frogs that have evolved to be so small that their vestibular balance system doesn't work well and I'm sorry but it's the funniest thing to watch them try to jump.

[valentinerose529]

The only end for the hero

[valentinerose529]

Details I would ask my artist to include in my portrait to communicate the glorious wealth and bounty of mine noble estate

XXL Costco pack of toilet paper, still sealed to demonstrate that the need was not desperate

Dresser in the background with top two drawers both just a little open to show that overflowing piles of clean socks and underwear prevent it from closing all the way

An open container of raspberries, the fastest-moulding of the expensive luxury fruits, showing that I purchased fresh produce recently and at full price for no special occasion

The walls are painted a vibrant colour and covered in hanging art, showing that I have the legal freedom to modify my own living space and may even own property

[valentinerose529]

[valentinerose529]

Something that endlessly fascinates me about Seven Deadly Sins, which I am 100% applying to the rewrite, is the potential it had to make these characters truly morally grey.

Not that the twist of them being innocent of the crimes they were accused of is bad, I think it worked fairly well for what we got, but it was also a missed opportunity to have the Sins genuinely be guilty of morally deplorable actions. Not because they themselves are bad people or had harmful intentions, but because they were driven by their own flaws; not just victims of circumstance but also their own mistakes, and the journey some of them go on to repent for what they've done and overcome the guilt of things they can't undo.

Ban's was already done the best in this regard, as he's never portrayed as a strictly morally good person (at least not at the start of the series). His original intention WAS to steal the Fountain of Youth, which is exactly what he gets tried for along with murdering the saint that guards it, which he DIDN'T do. But what if he did? What if it was Ban who hurt Elaine while trying to fight the Red Demon? Ban who is cocky before he realizes he's outmatched, before he realizes that he now has someone he cares for who isn't himself no matter how little time they've spent together. And he tries to save her, tries to make it right by giving her the Fountain of Youth, but she gives it to him instead. And he can't possibly imagine how she could think he was worth more than she was when he was nothing, nothing compared to her, especially when he hurt her (it doesn't matter that he doesn't mean to, because he still did, didn't he? And how can he ever explain that to her absent brother who she'll never see again?). And the guilt never leaves, and punishing himself through countless failed executions is never enough, because it's her gift to him that keeps him alive and somehow that makes it worse.

The circumstances behind King's crime always felt like a bit of a cop-out, with him having amnesia and not remembering who he is or the responsibilities he has or the people who need him. What if it was a conscious choice to stay away? Not out of sloth, but out of love? Out of devotion for this little giant girl who's all on her own with no one to rely on, who isn't helpless but is still a little kid. "Tomorrow," he tells himself, "I'll go back tomorrow, just one more day." And he tells himself that every day, and the longer he stays with her, taking care of her, making sure she's okay (because what if he leaves and something terrible happens to her and he isn't there), the harder it is to leave her. And then he does, because he is forced to confront the reality of his absence, and he can't erase her memory like in canon, and it breaks his heart and shatters hers and Diane is left bitter and angry, because everyone leaves and she's never enough for anyone because she's weak, because she's not naturally gifted like many of her other Giant brethren, and she hates herself, hates them for it, because why should they have so much power when she doesn't? Is it not just as much her right as it is theirs?

And Meliodas? Do not even get me STARTED on that little fucker. The series had the potential to do some truly interesting things with him, but it seemed to take on a very black-and-white narrative, more or less, a lot of the time. Maybe he doesn't feel guilt about all the terrible things he's done. Some things, sure, but all of it? No. In some ways he still revels in it. He does not feel guilty for slaughtering goddesses, because his rage against them is unending and "don't you see what they did to us?" Maybe I don't want him to be a wholly good person. Maybe I want him to be a little bit fucked up. Maybe even a lot fucked up. Maybe the threat to him ISN'T reverting back to his evil self - maybe he already is a little evil in some ways. How much moral greyness can I shove into one character? Let's find out.

TLDR; Nakaba fumbled the bag on potentially making these characters morally grey and complex, so obviously I'm going to do it myself.

[valentinerose529]

my father just looked me in the eyes and said “it’s a dog eat dog world out here and i’ve got a Milkbone up my ass” cheers man i’ve legitimately never heard that one before

[valentinerose529]

interesting that alecto was never much for lying but she sure was quick on the draw to have harrow lie to mercy about her age

[valentinerose529]

merlin has more strength than me bc if I heard uther pendragon bitch and moan about how magic only brings harm after I just saved his sons life for the ten billionth time that year with my magic and almost died yet again, I fear id accidentally turn him into a log

[valentinerose529]

(Sound on.) Bonus clip today: Penguins navigating stairs.

[valentinerose529]

you know who would serve absolute cunt at the met gala? megamind.

[valentinerose529]

"What Haunts in Vegas.........stays in Vegas!"

The hypothetical college trio series includes many hard hitting episodes, including this one where Vlad's in drag and has to seduce a short, sleazy human trafficking ringleader while Jack and Maddie play cards in the casino and distract the bodyguards.

This has been sitting in my drafts forever and I probably won't finish it any time soon (i wanted to adapt most of it into a longer comic) so here's a summary of the ensuing shenanigans and gags:

I love the idea that a series about Jack, Maddie and Vlad would feature a lot of stories about organized crime with a ghostly twist, so this is a reflection of that.

The trio plus Agents K and O set up a trap within a ritzy Vegas casino. Vlad, disguised as the silver vixen bait, is thoroughly incensed by his humiliating role but also ironically looks like enough of an effortless knock-out in a slinky black dress that the ruse seems to work on Petri. (Earlier, Vlad exclaimed to Maddie that only "an idiot" would fall for this disguise, followed immediately by Jack not recognizing him and wondering "who the broad in black is", only proving Vlad's point.)

The height difference between Petri and Vlad is so ridiculous that Vlad (who is wearing high heels) doesn't even initially notice when Petri approaches him to hit on him.

Another silly angle that makes Vlad a comically tailor-made fit for the role of Petri's seducer is the fact that Petri is a wine and cheese snob and prefers his women to be "cultured" in that regard. Vlad can't be out-snobbed on either front, so it nearly turns into a pissing contest of who's enjoyed the more exotic and expensive pairing.

Petri asks the 6'3 silver haired goddess sitting next to him if her hair is naturally silver, and Vlad stays in character to say yes, but it was caused by a great deal of stress brought on by her "oafish buffoon of an ex-husband" which prompts Agents K and O to tell Vlad to stick to the script through Vlad's bugged earring, and Jack in the other earring to express surprise that he didn't know his best buddy was married and why didn't he tell him?!

(A vein pulses in Vlad's temple, but he maintains a nostalgic expression for Petri's sake while he discreetly reaches up and mercilessly crushes his earring between his fingertips with an electronic crunch. Agent O turns to Agent K in the hotel suite they're monitoring the mission from. "Heels destroyed his comm." "...This is the last time we work with civilians.")

At some point, an increasingly smarmy Petri places his hand on Vlad's leg, and an uncomfortable Vlad's instinctive reflex is, unfortunately, to choke him.

While all of this is taking place, Jack and Maddie are playing the tables alongside Petri's lieutenants. The idea is that when Vlad lures Petri to the suite where Agents O & K will apprehend him, they will safely subdue the henchmen.

Vlad does manage to get Petri into the hotel room, but things immediately go off the rails at that point. Agents K and O have been incapacitated off screen, and Petri reveals he suspected that this was all a set up from the beginning, so he took the liberty of removing the dangerous element from the equation. Meanwhile, Jack and Maddie have their hands full as subduing the henchmen goes poorly and it turns out a large portion of the casino customers seem to be currently overshadowed. A massive fight breaks out.

The GIW files assumed that Petri Fyer was a human, but Vlad had clocked almost immediately upon meeting him that he's actually a ghost overshadowing a human being. Petri Fyer is actually Petrifyer, a large, monstrous ghost that resembles a toad. He departs from his human host to confront Vlad. Petrifyer has a paralytic venom that stuns humans and renders them immobile, so he uses it on Vlad and gleefully tries to decide what he should do with all of them.

It becomes apparent that Petrifyer understood that the whole situation was a set up, but he totally missed the fact that Vlad wasn't who he said he was, and since the paralytic venom is only effective on human beings, Vlad manages to break out of the paralysis by forcing a transformation.

Petrifyer vs. Plasmius ensues, there's some back and forth where Petri is 1) shocked he got catfished, 2) shocked he got catfished by the half-ghost billionaire who tried and failed to take over the world during the global meteor incident, and 3) still very into Vlad despite literally everything that is going on. Vlad proceeds to cheerfully beat the stuffing out of him.

Jack and Maddie manage to husband-wife power couple their way through ALL of the ghost-guests, wrecking the casino in the process. By the time they make it to the hotel room for back up, Vlad is standing in the middle of a destroyed suite, red heels in hand, Agents K and O groaning on the floor, and the dastardly ghost/human duo restrained. Vlad shoots his friends a withering glare and tries to wipe his lipstick off with the back of his hand. It just smears.

Petri turns out to be a case of true possession (over shadowing being short-term and possession being long-term). The meek, unconfident, ordinary gas station employee, Patrick Fitz, is consensually allowing the sleazy toad-like ghost Petrifyer to use his body to navigate the human world and make them both rich.

Once in custody, Patrick and Petrifyer attempt to elicit sympathy from Vlad due to their similar positions and affinity for "ghost-human relations." Vlad just sneers at them and says he is so far out of their league in every possible way they might as well be on different planets.

The mission ends, Jack immediately forgets he signed a non-disclosure agreement, and Maddie practices her card game skills. (Afterward, Vlad offers Maddie a much more understanding apology for the way he used to treat her, and thanks her for not killing him at any point during those days.)