vampelvis

[vampelvis]

Vhoa mama, I vonder if I could try zee tanning bed

[vampelvis]

vhoa mama, I've been down zhat road. It's not vorth it.

Bzz Mama, I am repressing the urges to sting someone because I'll probably die if I do.

[vampelvis]

Reblog if you're okay with people coming into your dms or ask box with storylines and rp ideas!

[vampelvis]

Vhoa mama, it is zee business in zee front and zee party in zee back. Vhat’s not to love?

Woah mama hating on fat people is a shitty thing to do by the way

[vampelvis]

Vhoa mama, I believe zee scientific term is vicked. Zee doomed yuri is like candy for gay people.

"Have you heard of the disease that turns people into theatre kids?"

"Yes, and?"

[vampelvis]

Vhoa mama, I can’t read sometimes. I read zhis as “kill me or fuck me.” And I didn’t question it, I zhought “this tracks for zee croaker.”

And zhen I opened my eye.

saved 1/24/22 10:50 am

[vampelvis]

Hummina Hummina *withered foxy jumpscare*

Woah mama I've been murderscared

[vampelvis]

Vhoa mama, happy pride to you too! *vampiric hip wiggle*

Woah Queen happy pride month

[vampelvis]

i love u vampirism. i love u lesbianism. i love u homoeroticism.

[vampelvis]

if I meet a vampire and they bite me and drain me of my blood it's like. If i die i die that's on me at that point. They're quenched and those are the consequenches of my actions

[vampelvis]

zhank you, emo bernie, for your vise vords.

super funny how you’ve been here for less than 48 hours and you’re already getting jumped

Woah (cisgender) mama, they hate me for saying things that are true and righteous and also profitable.

[vampelvis]

Let’s put it zo a poll, ha ha hummina.

Vhoa mama, I’m sure you’d zaste zerrible but I’d do it for zhe cause.

-@vampelvis

You DO NOT have permission to suck my blood. This is ASSAULT.

[vampelvis]

Vhoa mama, if zhat’s vhat you have zo zell your self to sleep at night! (I still von’t drink it.)

Vhoa mama, I’m sure you’d zaste zerrible but I’d do it for zhe cause.

-@vampelvis

You DO NOT have permission to suck my blood. This is ASSAULT.

[vampelvis]

Vould you drink milk zhat’s past it’s expiration date? No? Zhen don’t expect a vampire zo drink rotten blood! Is simple.

Vhoa mama, I’m sure you’d zaste zerrible but I’d do it for zhe cause.

-@vampelvis

You DO NOT have permission to suck my blood. This is ASSAULT.

[vampelvis]

So you vant me to suck your blood? Is zhat vhat you’re saying? Getting mixed messages on your policy.

Vhoa mama, I’m sure you’d zaste zerrible but I’d do it for zhe cause.

-@vampelvis

You DO NOT have permission to suck my blood. This is ASSAULT.

[vampelvis]

Vho said anything about sucking? Like I said, it probably zaste zerrible. I vould spit it out.

Vhoa mama, I’m sure you’d zaste zerrible but I’d do it for zhe cause.

-@vampelvis

You DO NOT have permission to suck my blood. This is ASSAULT.

[vampelvis]

Vhoa mama, it is my nemesis!

i bet count von count has killer fuckin music taste