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[vannilasblog]

"MUSE"

1. Photoshoot

As long as you remember you've always felt trapped. In your home. The village. Your own body even. But what if you meet someone as trapped as you are?

The following fic contains the manhwa's Lookism timeline so be warned. Also it does contain spoilers for the Ceonliang arc

Since you were little you were oblivious to the world around you. You just admired it's beauty and spoke your mind no matter what. Even if your life depended on it. Your mom hated it. Your dad secretly supported you as he always did.

As a kid your life was pretty normal. Normal apartment. Normal parents. Normal friends. Normal life. At least what you thought was normal.

At the age of 4 you knew that your ma could make clothes and your dada was always around some metal monsters. When you turned 6 you understood that your mommy sew clothes that were harder than usual ones and that your daddy was able to repair cars, motors and other vehicles. And finally now, already 8 years old you were aware that your mom made a traditional Korean clothing and your dad was a mechanic engineer. Sounds like a little, ordinary family, doesn't it? Mhm, and you were happy about it.

You loved your dad. He was your role model and knight in a shining armor. You, of course were his little princess. Then about your mom... When you were little she adored you, but now, when your personality started to form more and more. When you had your own opinion. She became... distant. Don't get me wrong. She loved you. Maybe because she was forced to by the burden of being your mother. Maybe she couldn't force her ambitious on you. Maybe you reminded her too much of herself. Yes, she indeed loved you, but she didn't like you.

And after all you were just a kid. Your little kid brain didn't understand anything. But you felt it. You felt it in her raising voice, in her shouting, in the slaps that left your cheeks red and eyes wet. At the rare moments when you dad was home you ran to his arms and he consoled you. Aside of that he couldn't do anything else. Your mother was the head of the house and you two were just living in it. And your dad still loved her. You couldn't understand that even years later.

Still, you were a happy family. Until one day your dad got a job offer at some company far, far away. It was a great offer. Gold even. And of course your mom couldn't miss it. When dad told her, you could basically see the money signs in her eyes. Dad didn't want to go, he didn't want to leave you alone with mom, because he knew about her easily angered temperament. But she assured him that it would be fine. So he took the job. Or more like the job took your dad away.

A year after that your mother decided that you should move houses. She wanted to be closer to the village that she made clothes for. Mom said that it would be for a few months and you'll be like on vacation. At least little you was happy to be in the forest, away from the big city.

When you arrived at Ceonliang the first thing you noticed were people's smiles. They were big and shiny, almost like they didn't have a single care in this world. You liked it... for the first few minutes. Then it started to creep you out. But that seemed to be only your problem. Your mother was enjoying the villagers attention and she put on a big smile on her own face.

Your house at least was pretty. It was a traditional Korean wooden house and in it there were your room, your mom's room, a kitchen and a bathroom. It was small, but cozy. When you entered your room you left your bag on your bed and took out maybe the most important thing out of there.

Click

The corners of your lips higher up, as well as your mood. You still remember the moment when your dad gifted you his camera.

You were on seaside vacation back then and he wanted to catch the moment, so you and your mother posed for him. You didn't mind, but the thing that caught your eyes was the bright laughter of your father. He was rather sentimental person and wanted to remember every single beautiful moment. That's how you fell in love with photography.

And just how he did back then, you laughed when your eyes landed on the photo of the window next to your bed and the nature beyond it.

"Did you unpack everything?! Come here, now!" You heard your moms shouting from the other room. As if you couldn't hear her anyway. You signed and left the camera on the bedside table and went to see what your mom wanted.

Coming out of your room the first thing you noticed were the two new faces. One old and one, maybe a little younger than you.

"Come say hi, dear. That's the man who let us stay here. He was kind enough to even give us this home!" Your mom spoke with that unusual big smile on her face from earlier.

"You've been making clothes for this village for years! That's the least I could do, please!" You glanced at the man as he spoke. He wasn't tall, but he was certainly intimidating. What the hell was wrong with the people here and these smiles. Mom seemed to like them though, it looks like weird people like weird people.

Then you looked at the boy. He was shorter than you and his skin was tan and pretty. You extended your hand for him to shake it, just like your father had taught you. You smiled and told him your name. He looked at you as he took your hand and finally spoke with a calm, unsure voice.

"I'm Taejin... Taejin Cheon."

Taejin? Hmm, he seemed like a good kid. In contrast with the all-time smiling people surrounding you. His tan skin made him stand out in a cool way. You tough that he would make a grat friend. Oh, only if you knew back then...

The few following weeks were ordinary. You helped mom around the house, at least when she was in it. Most of the time she had meetings with Mr Shinmyung, who you later understood was the Shaman of the village. By now you were used to see all people around you careless and smiling. You accepted that they were just happy. At least they were chill. Besides that, they always asked you 'How are you?' and 'You're so kind! You sure you aren't a child of God?'. You liked the first question, but you weren't sure about the second one. The villagers seemed to always talk about that god that you had no clue about. You didn't know what or who was that. And of course you didn't. You were just a child.

One sunny day your mother wanted to take a look at the food stalls on the outskirts of the village. You wanted to go for a walk and decided to follow her and help out with the bags.

On your way back, the groceries in your hands felt heavier and heavier with every step of your little feet. In front of you was mom, talking to someone on the phone, probably for fabrics or something again.

Suddenly you heard loud cheering and sudden music. You turn your head, curiosity gotten the best of you.

Then you saw it. Or more like you saw... him?

A boy. There was a boy with his hands tied in front of him in the middle of the crowd. The crowd, or more like the villagers threw things at him while the Shaman was sitting and smiling. In the clothes your mother makes. And about the victim, he was stripped, only one ragged cloth was wrapped around his waist. His long black hair covered his face.

You slowly and carefully put the bags on the ground and took a step to the grotesque scene unfolding before you.

"Where do you think you're going?" Before you could make a second step, your mom's hand wrapped around yours like a chain.

"What's happening, mom? Why are they doing this?" I asked my parent with sore throat.

"They're making a sacrifice for our God." She answer like it was the most obvious thing in the world.

"But... why him? I'm sure he didn't even do anything!" You grabbed mom's wrist with your smaller hand. But even if you did that... What could a 8 year old like you do?

"That Devil's child has 6 fingers. That's why."

"Wha...?"

I looked at my own hand. The five digits stared back at me.

"I wish I had six..." I wispered, half to myself and half to my hand. "So cool..."

"Oh, my God, don't listen to her... Hey, why did you put the groceries on the ground?!" Mom suddenly snapped. "Take them and go home! And don't wait for me, I'll have a talk with the Shaman."

"S-sure..." You stuttered as leaning down to grab the forgotten bags from the ground. With a one last look at the grotesque scene unfolding before your own eyes you turned around and took the closest path to your house.

Your head was filled with anxious thoughts. Why was mom reaction like that? What's that sacrifice thing? Why did we even came to this village in the first place? Who was the boy and where were his parents? How could they let something like that happen to their child? These words flew inside of your brain like a windy storm...

The next years of your stay in Ceonliang were normal too. Almost too normal. You matured, grow out your teenage years, but you were still here, in that village.

When you were younger you became a student at the only school in the village, only because mom insisted on it and told you that you'll be staying for a longer time. She seemed to like the village. Yeah, she got along with all the people and the Shaman. You even had occasional dinners with him and his son. Taejin. He maybe was your only friend, if you could even call him that. You two had a several conversations together because of your parents' bound, but that was as long as it got.

What happened when you were out for groceries never left your mind. You accepted the thought that all people here were brainwashed by the Shaman into believing and taking part into his cult. Your mother too. The desperation of doing something to change that was buried deep inside of you, because there was no use of it. You were helpless against the seeds of false hope the Shaman had planted in the people's brains. That's why every time there was this sacrifice bullshit, you hid. In the closet, under your blanket or simply in your house. The fault of not being to help the poor human that was being used this time haunted you, but you decided to carry this guilt and keep your mouth shut.

After graduation you of course wanted to study Photography and of course your mom was deeply against it. So you had to go live with your father when you were studying. But still, most of the time you spent at the village and took online classes, even if the wi-fi was hard to find. Were the people here living in medieval eras?

Anyway, you made it work. Satisfying your mom by staying with her and studying at the same time. It wasn't so bad. Even now you were fixing your shirt in front of your mirror because you were going to have another one of those dinners with the Shaman and Taejin. You were a normal girl, in a normal house, getting ready for a totally normal dinner in a normal village. Normal. It should be normal, so why do you feel like a chain is wrapped around your throat and you're choking on your words or gasping in for air?

Your feelings didn't matter for anyone around you anyway, so why should they for you? Taking a last glance in the mirror and putting the best smile on your lips you headed to the front door where your mother was waiting you.

"Finally. Took you long enough." She said with the usual picky tone. "Take that off. It's ugly and you aren't going to a photoshoot." She pointed at the white instant camera hanging from your neck.

"No way I'm leaving it alone! If it isn't with me I'm not coming." You answered her.

She rolled her eyes and let out a loud and long sigh, then after looking you up and down she decided. "At lest you don't look bad. Hopefully Taejin would agree, too."

Ah, here we go again. Your mother's mania for him and you to get together. Taejin wasn't bad looking, you would admit that but... There was just something behind his dark skin that was creepy. Not like his father, of course. He was pure creepy and his son was secretly creepy. That doesn't makes sense, but it's still true... The thought of that made you let out an nervous laugh and you noticed your mom's judgmental look from beside you.

With your arrival at Shinmyung Cheon's house you were welcomed by his servants. They were kind people that kept the house clean and did all the homework. You and your mother were escorted to the dining room. The house was beautiful in a traditional Korean style, just like all the houses in the village. Wherever you turned your head at you can see people dressed in your mom's clothing. If seemed like for the years you've stayed here she became a quite important figure in the village.

When you entered the room you could already see the Shaman smiling to your presence and Taejin shifting in his place. Your mother took a sit opposite of the Shaman, so the only thing you could do was sit opposite of Taejin. He gave you a little smile, probably thankful to your arrival.

"Welcome, [Mother name], [Name]! I'm thrilled that you could make it once again!" The old man said with a smile so big, it closed his eyes.

"On, nonsense, Shinmyung! Of course we couldn't miss the invitation!" At first you didn't notice anything unusual in your mom's words, but... Since when they called each other by their first name. You gave Taejin a look. He looked back. So he noticed too? You tilted your head to the exit, signaling him to go out for a walk before the dinner is served. He nodded and turned his head to face the Shaman.

"Dad, can we go for a little walk? I'm not very hungry yet." He spoke with a calm tone as if he was asking for theost unimportant thing in the world.

"Ah, but Taejin, my boy! I wanted to ask [Name] a few questions, since she just got back from the big city—"

Then my mother interrupted.

"Nothing interesting happened there, I'm sure! Just her boring studies. I'm sure you can ask her later. Let the kids have fun, Shinmyung!"

Taejin smiled at his dad's quivering smile and stand up. I followed him and we went out in the house's garden. The night was quiet and even if it was warm it still felt a little chilly, in a good way of course.

"I see you brought a friend?" He pointed at the camera with a cheeky smile.

"Oh? It's a gift from dad, I couldn't leave it at home." You let out a nervous laugh.

The two of you enjoyed the small walk and the small talk he tried to make, before it deepened.

"So? How it was? The city? Your 'boring' studies?" He let out a chuckle when reciting your mother's words.

"Not bad." You returned the laughter. "I love when I'm staying with my dad. But maybe I love the nature here more."

"Only the nature?" Taejin lifted a brow as if he didn't already knew the answer. "You hate it here, so why are you still staying?"

"I don't have a choi—"

"You have. We aren't kids anymore."

"Then why are you staying? Stop throwing questions at me.." You shrugged him.

"I have to take my dad's place at some point. They are preparing me to be the next Shaman. You know it." He spoke, still in that calm tone.

And you did. You did know it. Of course you do. But you didn't get it. Why would he want that. Does he really want to be a leader of a fucking cult?!

For all those years you knew Taejin. He was the only thing close to a friend you had, even if you two weren't that close. And maybe, just maybe you would be close if you met in another life. Maybe you would be able to understand him.

"I have never seen you at the sacrifices."

Your ehole body stiffened when the words rolled out of his tongue so normal. As if it was natural for you to be there. As if you had to.

"I don't believe in that god of yours, so why would I be?" Your voice was calm when you managed to spit out an answer, but the silent rage was noticeable.

"Well, your mother is there every time, so I figured that you would start coming too. But you didn't. You shoul—"

"I won't." You cut him off quickly.

"We have a sacrifice that is my age. Come see him sometime." He said as if it was a fun fair.

"Your age?" As far as you remember the boy you saw that time was... Wait a minute.

"Did you killed the boy with the fingers?" You quickly asked him the first thing that came to your mind.

It seemed like you caught him off guard with the sudden question, but he still gave his answer.

"Killed? What? No, no, he escaped. We changed him after getting the new one." And still he was talking about them like they were some kind of animals. Cattle even. And he still remained composed like it was the most normal thing in the world. You looked away from him, only for your eyes to land on the front gate of the house.

There was your sweet freedom.

"Please, excuse me from dinner this time, Taejin. I forgot I have a study project that must be done due tomorrow."

"But, so suddenly? Wait—"

Before he could reach to grab your hand, you were already running to the gates. You could hear the shouts of the house workers telling you to slow down and be careful. But you didn't. You didn't slow down, you even ran faster as if something was chasing you. And maybe it was. The guilt, the fear, the helplessness. The feeling of being in a cage. The only thing you could do was run. You knew that your mother will be mad later, but you didn't care. You never did. The grip on your camera tightened, scared not to lose the gift from your father you pressed it against your chest as you ran deeply into the forest.

Finally when you stopped you found yourself running out of breath. You breath loud and heavy, echoing in the quiet velvety night. Your left hand reached to wipe out the wetness on your face, only for you to find out that you weren't just sweating from all the running. There were halfway dried tears coating your probably red cheeks.

"Who are you?" The quiet voice startled you. You quickly wiped your face a d turned to face the person.

A man was standing on the threshold of what seemed to be a little house made almost fully of iron. Now, with clear eyes you could get a better look at where your feet brought you. There was the little house that was in the end of a rather big meadow, that was surrounded by the forest. It would be perfect for a picnic or something. Then your head shifted to the male. His figure was visibly taller and more muscular than yours, but his face was surrounded by the darkness of the night. What if he is dangerous?

"I kinda got lost, haha." You let out a little laugh as if it was something really funny.

"Really? So deep in the forest?"

"I, uh—" Your head shifted to look around once again. This time more confusing. How long have I been running? A hand subtly reached to check if your camera was still there. Relieved sigh left your lips as soon as you felt ti still around your neck. You turned back to the man. "And who are you? Why are you so deep in the forest?"

"I asked first." The figure finally stepped towards me, making my whole body tense subconsciously, anticipating the danger. But it didn't come. Instead of that you were stunned.

The men, who wasn't hiding in the darkness of the night anymore finally showed his face. His delicate features contrasted with the roughness of his body. He was still looking at you with calm eyes, probably expecting an answer. But you were too busy admiring the bags under them, you could say they even added more charm to him. Woah...

"Well?" He spoke again and you finally noticed how beautiful was his voice too. It was quiet, yet demanding.

You probably looked like someone slapped you with a wet cloth. Your mouth quickly spoke your name. "...and I really am lost..." A hand reached to scratch the back of your neck in a nervous manner.

"Obviously." The beautiful man sighed. I noted that he still wasn't telling me his name.

"Hey, what's your na—"

"You can stay. For tonight. I'll show you the way tomorrow morning." He cut me off, already going back to his house.

"You're inviting a stranger at your home? Not good, Mr No-Name." You scoffed while following him.

"Do you want to sleep outside? I don't have a problem with that."

"No!" Your eyes widened.

"Then come in." You once again followed him, this time inside his little house.

The inside was very much like the outside. Iron wals and furniture. Was that man living in the middle-ages too?

He walked to his bed. It was messy and undone. His hand reached to grab the pillow on top of it.

"You can sleep here." He spoke.

You turned back to reality and glanced at him. He was pointing at his bed. Your eyes shifted to the pillow on the floor. Is he going to sleep on the ground?

"Sure, but yo—"

"I'm good. Just go to sleep." He cut me off again. It was getting a habit of his by now...

"Right." You answered quietly.

When you got in his bed you tossed around a lot, which caused you to inhale his scent. It was somehow... wooden and sweet. Wait, was that sugar. Does he have a sweet tooth? You sighed, letting go of those unnecessary thoughts. I still can't trust him even if he let me stay for the night...

"Hey..." I wispered in the darkness of the night, but no answer came. The only thing I could hear was his breathing and it definitely wasn't slow like a sleeping person. Is he ignoring me?!

"Hey, No Name." You wispered again, this time louder. "He—"

Before you could finish your calling the man suddenly sat up and turned his head to you. An annoyed expression covered his soft features.

"I'm not deaf. Just tell me what you want. And don't call me that." He barked at me.

"Don't? But I don't know your name, s—"

"You didn't tell me yours either." His voice was low and desperate to finish the conversation as fast as possible.

"Right." You cleared your throat. "Fair enough."

"You litt— Is that why you didn't stop calling me??"

"Yeah..."

He let out a grunt and turned around to to lean his back on the bed, the back of his head was now facing you and you couldn't help, but feel the need to run your hands trough his slick, shiny black hair.

"I can't too..."

"Oh. Can I ask why?"

"No." He cut off your question almost immediately, without a second thought.

"Then... can I tell you why I can't?" You anticipate before saying it. Of course the feeling of being misunderstood creeped in the corners of your mind like a bad memory. And of course you couldn't help but feel like he wouldn't want to listen to you, after all he was his own person, woth his own concerns and problems. So why would he listen to yours?

"Go on." The answer you didn't expect to hear came out of him.

And so you went on. You started from your childhood. Then about your parents and the love and admiration you had for your father. How you moved to the village and your first encounter with the Shaman. Finally about now, when you were all grown up, but still felt like a little girl. Too innocent and unable to do anything. Telling him every little thing that was worrying you, speaking your heart off. And he listened without interrupting. Not even once.

When you were done you noticed how your cheeks were once again wet. Luckily he didn't notice since his head wasn't facing you. And maybe that was for the better. You took a deep breath and spoke again.

"Why aren't you saying a thing? Am I overreacting? Hey?" You managed so say after wiping your face.

"No." He returned the answer you didn't know, but needed like oxygen. And that was all you could want from him. A simple word made you feel understood.

After a several quiet minutes you broke the silence again.

"I wish I had six fingers. Maybe that would make me stronger and I could finally get out of this shit hole." At first when the words rolled out of your tongue like something plain he didn't react. But then he suddenly turned around. A stunned light in his eyes.

"What did yo—"

Click

The male jumped at the sudden sound of your camera. You on the other hand had a pleasant expression on your face and a smirk on your lips. You giggled when your hand reached to pick up the piece of paper coming put of the camera. Soon there would be a beautiful piece of art on it.

"Are you nuts?! What are you doing?"

"Hey, I couldn't resist, alright!"

You looked at his furrowed brows and flushed cheeks. Was he embarrassed? A laugh let out your lips.

"Did your dad gave you that camera, so you could take photos of strangers?" He stated.

"No, put he told me to shoot only beautiful photos with it, so I'm fulfilling his request."

"Wha—"

"C'mon! The lights caught your features perfectly! I just had to!"

"Anyway! Weirdo..." He turned around to lean his back on the bed once again.

You, on the other hand, fanned the photo so that the ink on the paper could dry faster and the picture could reveale itself. When it did you smiled once again. The man's face perfectly reflecting the silver light from the moon. It made his soft reddish lips stand out even more, making you wonder if he uses lipbalm, but he probably hasn't even seen one. The shadows under his eyes emphasized them even more. It was the perfect photo, worthy of being placed in a gallery. That's how you decided the project for your next study. A moonlight photoshoot.

With a smile on your lips you hugged the camera along with the photo and went to sleep.

The first thing you noticed after waking up was the smell. The figure laying on the bed slowly but firmly sat up and rubbed their eyes, then her hand moved to rub her nose. What was this tooth-rotting smell... Sugar?

As you stand up from the bed and moved your head towards the iron door that was the exit of that strange man's little home, the smell only got stronger.

Your feet moved on their own, out of curiosity. A hand of yours cautiously reached to push the door.

"Eh?!" Your eyes widened and a sudden gasp came out of your throat.

Your shelter was there casually dipping fruit ls on a skewer into a boiling pot of sugar. So that's where the sweet smell was coming from. And that was also the reason why the sheets of his bed had that sweety scent...

After your yelling the man glanced at you.

"Are you not hungry?"

You guessed that he will keep that nonchalant percona of his.

"For thangululu? Always."

You winked at him with a smirk on your features.

"Also people say 'Curiosity killed the cat'. Well, I guess this time curiosity will feed this kitten."

It took him a second to react at what you just said. Then he once again turned his head to glanceover at you.

"Did you just... call yourself a 'kitten'?"

Suddenly the stick in his head with strawberries on it looked really pointed.

"I meant I'm hungry!"

You spat out in defense.

"Oh. Here."

He handed me the sweet treat in his hand.

"For me?! Really?!"

You dramatically hold a hand on your heart.

"You didn't need to, Mr Unknowm!"

The man raised his brow.

"Seongji."

I smiled at the sound of his name, his hand still hanging with the sugared strawberries.

"Thank you, Seongji. But. I really shall go. I ha e some... problems to deal with back at home."

His face didn't change, as it remained calm and unbothered. But his eyes spoke for him. They slightly flickered to the camera hanging on your neck. You put it on in a hurry as soon as you stand up from his bed.

"Alright then."

He lowered his hand with the thangululu down.

"I'll come again! Pinky promise!"

I waved my hand with my pinky out, already disappeared from his view, but I yelled loud enough for him to hear me.

Hi guys 🩷

Firstly thank you so much for reading!!

I rlly wanted to make this fic one part, but it jus got too looong 😮‍💨 So! Here I am. I think there will be around three parts of it, hope you're alr with that >_< (I read only the half of it, so if there are any mistakes I'm so so so sorry)

And also PLEASE tell me what do you think abt it 🙏

[vannilasblog]

Ah, yes. My two hubbies 😌

the way these two have such similar vibes.