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Let’s Hooke Up

Let’s Hook Up

By: Vee Cole

 “You’re sick.”

As I made my way of the clinic, I was in complete shock. I felt numb all of over my body. The words that the doctor explained to me went in one ear and out the other.

“How could this have happened?” a voice asked me in my head. I had a small little cough but I didn’t think anything of it. I sometimes felt weak and faint but I didn’t think anything of it. I never would’ve thought that I would catch something like this.

“You are HIV positive.” A chill rain down my spine as the doctor’s voice lingered through my head. Naw, not me not Da’monte Green the hard working hopeless romantic.

So many questions ran through my head.

“Is this my life?”

“Taking medications for the rest of my life?” “Will I live pass 10 years?”

All of my sexual partners began to flash through my head. I began to think about every man I slept with over the past 6 months. Yeah there were quite of few guys I slept with but I always made sure to use condoms.

“Was it the guy I met at the club last month?” the voice in my head asked me. The guy name was Marcus, he was tall dark skinned with a beautiful smile. Filled with sparkly white teeth with 360 waves, tall standing about 6’2 which made me melt. It was my first time being out at the club in ages and I wasn’t expecting too much of anything but a drink and some good music. Of course, I saw him eye balling me from across the club but I didn’t pay him any attention because most people will stare at you and not say a word to you. I had been wearing something basic that night just some jeans with a cute t-shirt I got from H&M with a windbreaker. I stand at 5’10 I’m not fat but I also don’t have a 6 pack either just an average build with a full beard and some struggling waves. I wasn’t “Oh my god he’s so handsome” but I wasn’t ugly either.

Marcus approached and my body began to feel weak as he came my way.

“You want a drink?” he asked. I was way too stunned to say anything so I just blinked and nodded my head. The bar tender slides the drink my way my and Marcus handed the twenty-dollar bill over to the bartender.

“Thank you!” I said smiling.

“Here put your number in my phone!” he said while sliding me his phone.

I grabbed his phone and put my number into his contact list. I handed him back his phone almost dropping it, from being so goddamn shook. He just giggled and nodded his head.

“I’ll you hit you up!” he said heading towards the dance floor. Marcus wasn’t seen or heard of for weeks after that night.

“Was it the guy I smoked a blunt with after work?” Shaun! Shaun saw me smoking weed in my car on lunch break and ask if he could smoke with me. He wasn’t really my type of nigga at all. I didn’t like dread heads and I for damn sure didn’t like a fat dread head. He was silly as fuck though. I never got any type of work done for him always playing around. We would smoke every other weekend after work at my place. He never talked too much about his home life or anything like that. He would only talk about the bitches at the job and that was about it. One night he called me while he was drunk and he wanted to come over and smoke a blunt with me before he went home. I was drunk as well and really had no plans after the club so I agreed to meet up with him. He came over and we didn’t too much of anything we smoked a blunt and he scrolled through his Instagram showing me girls he wanted to fuck. I just enjoyed the blunt and tuned his ass out.

“I don’t ever hear you talking about a nigga, I know you must be lonely.” He said spreading his legs.

“I don’t have time for these nigga’s!” I said taking a pull from the blunt.

“You don’t have time for this?” He said with his pants pulled down and his manhood standing in my face.

My mouth began to water and I couldn’t help myself so I put my mouth to work.

“I ain’t gay though.” He said pulling up his pants. I just rolled my eyes and threw his ass out of my house. I would hear from him every once in a while. When I was in the mood

to get my mouth a little wet I would hit him up.

“You can’t catch HIV from the mouth!” the voice in my head.

“It had to be Marcus!!” the voice in my head said with rage.

I pulled out my cell phone and texted Marcus telling him “Let’s hook up.” He texted me back and told he would be over later after work. How could his dirty ass do this to me? Me? Marcus did hit me up after the club. About a month after I gave him my number he asked me out on a date for coffee. Now I’m no angel and Marcus was looking right so I gave him some. After that I found myself having sex with him more on the regular basis. I never expected too much out of our encounters. I knew what it was and so did he! I started to think about all the time we’ve had sex and thought back to the time I let him slide in me raw. He didn’t have condoms and neither did I but I wanted it so badly and I couldn’t wait so I went ahead and let him hit. I thought I could trust his bum ass and I even asked before, if he was sleeping with anyone else.

“Of course, not baby!” his voice popped into my head. My blood began to boil as I thought about every single lie he has ever told me. I went into my room and grabbed the gun my mother gave me when I turned 18.

“Just use it to protect yourself!”  My mother’s voice lingered in my head. I went into the bathroom and placed the gun next to my head.

“Pull the fucking trigger!” the voice whispered in my head. Anything is better than being on this earth. Tears fell down eyes thinking that this wasn’t something I could get rid of. It was something that would be with me for the rest of my life.

“Knock, Knock” I heard at my front door. I checked through the peep hole and it was Marcus.

“Just a minute!” I said while wiping the tears off of my face. I placed the gun in my bathroom and ran to the front door.

“How you doing?” Marcus asked with a big ass kool-aid grin on his face. I wasted no time I grabbed him and began kissing him all over his body. We made our way to the bedroom and he laid me down kissing me.

“You got any condoms?” Marcus asked. I reached over and looked through my night stand to see if there were any condoms in it. I knew there weren’t any condoms in the drawer because I threw all of them out.

“No!” I said with sadness.

“We should use one!” Marcus said while trying to kiss me.

“We don’t need one, I’m clean I promise.” I said with in a trusting tone.

“Alright cool!” Marcus said after kissing me with so much passion. The sex was amazing and when I came it felt like my soul left my body. After I came down from my sexual high rage started to come over. I rose up and headed towards the bathroom. The gun was sitting on the bathroom counter. It was like it was calling my name or something.

“Kill that lying, dirty motherfucker!”

“Hey Marcus!” I said picking up the gun standing near the door.

“What’s up?” he asked sounding tired as hell.

“So I went to the doctor about a month ago!” I said twirling the gun in my hands.

“Oh no baby! What’s going on?” He asked sounding concerned.

Marcus sounding so concerned made me lose my mind! I ran out of the bathroom pointing the gun at him.

“They told I was HIV positive you dirty motherfucker!” I said with tears running down face.

I didn’t let him respond I just stared at him with anger and rage!

“I’m no fucking rocket scientist or anything like that but you’re the only nigga that’s been raw dogging me so it had to be you!” I said while cocking the gun.

“Just calm down, I didn’t give you anything!” Marcus said sounding frightened.

“DON’T FUCKING MOVE!” I yelled holding the gun shaking.

“Look, I promise to you I’ve never given you anything!” He said crying. I couldn’t take hearing another one of his lies. So closed my eyes and envisioned myself being happy. Running through an open green field with the sun shining, wind blowing in my face. A feeling that I haven’t felt in quite some time.

“BANG!” when I opened my eyes Marcus lifeless body laid across my bed. Blood was over my face and all over my walls. Everything after that was a blur. I remember waking up that morning and I was in a jail cell. I felt numb to any and everything after that. I geared up and got me some lawyers. I told them my case that I was enraged that I had gotten HIV from a man that knew he had it.

DNA is so fucking funny. Come to find out Marcus never had HIV when they tested him it came back negative and it felt like a someone took my heart out of my chest and ran over it. I fainted when the judge found me guilty of first degree murder. I cried like a baby when I found out I would be sentenced to life in prison without parole. Shortly after my sentence I received a letter from Shaun’s baby mother she wrote me a letter saying she found some text messages that were exchanged between Shaun and I and wrote me as soon as she could. In the letter she stated that Shaun became very ill. He had HIV which turned into full blown AIDS and she found out she was HIV Positive just like me. Like I said I didn’t know too much about Shaun other than him being my co-worker. She must have known that I thought she was full of shit because she also sent me his obituary with the letter. My heart sank, not only did I kill an innocent man for something he didn’t give me but I also would be spending the rest of life in prison living with a disease I wouldn’t be able to get rid. I tried killing myself two different times and I failed each time. God wanted me to live this punishment and he did everything in power to make that happen. It’s funny how god gives you signs but you don’t pay attention to them until it’s too late. Every day I close my eyes trying to relive that happy moment in my head but when I close my eyes all I see is Marcus running lifeless body laying across my bed and Shaun laughing right behind my back.