veillees

[veillees]

It's Juneteenth yall. And I'm not letting this day go unmarked.

Black people fight for everybody. We stand in solidarity with women, lgbt people, poor people all over the world of every skin color and background. Every religion and nationality.

Today, stand with us. Be with us. Tell a black person you love them. Hug a black person (with consent). Ask that hot black girl out today. Make a black person smile. Black lives matter to everybody and you matter to us.

Stand with us on Juneteenth like we stand with you all year round, and I hope a happy Pride month continues for all of us

💝

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So many people who love generative AI don't have a creative bone in their body and can't imagine anyone actually enjoying the time and effort it takes to write something or draw something.

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Thanks for your kind words, @shiisiln ! I'm trying to keep those thoughts in mind, and to keep things in perspective. I can be quite patient, at times, so that helps. And of course I am very happy to have them all in my life. Sometimes, I just wish there were less of a bottleneck problem.

Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't be the person that at least four people first turn to with (all or most of) their problems and at the same time expect to still pursue interests of my own. But stubborn wee fuck that I am, I won't give up just yet. There must be some semblance of life left here.

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Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't be the person that at least four people first turn to with (all or most of) their problems and at the same time expect to still pursue interests of my own. But stubborn wee fuck that I am, I won't give up just yet. There must be some semblance of life left here.

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im getting really fucking sick of all this “it gets better!” bullshit. im going to have depression for the rest of my life. it’s not going to “””get better””” fuck you

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Every time i read a Terry Pratchett book it makes me fall in love with reading again.

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A bus may have only a couple of passengers, especially at the beginning or end of its route. But let's also take fuel efficiency into account.

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I've been planning to make this comic for so long now, but a strange feeling of shame has stopped me, year after year.

Today is IDAHOBIT, the international day against LGBTQ+ discrimination. I feel like now is a good time to share it.

It's easy to slip into shameful silence because of survivors guilt, because "it wasn't that bad". But it was bad. Homo- and transphobic violence is bad and needs to be talked about, especially in a time where homo- and transphobic rhetoric is rampant and normalizes seeing us as lesser humans, normalizes hurting us, verbally, legally, physically.

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“What is life except excuse for death, or death except escape from life? Recall my name with kindness now and then.”

-Peter Morwood, The Book of Years

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“average person eats 3 spiders a year” factoid actualy just statistical error. average person eats 0 spiders per year. Spiders Georg, who lives in cave & eats over 10,000 each day, is an outlier adn should not have been counted

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I'm going to play a (short) gig in June and I'm very excited about it. I'll try some new stuff and mostly songs I've never played live, so it's going to be a proper shambles.

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So i recently realized I’m not ace but For Reasons, i wanna say that i love and cherish the ace community. I owe my life to the fact that i was welcomed and respected when i identified as ace, and i will do my best to protect and uplift the asexuals and aromantics and everyone under the ace umbrella for the rest of my life.

if you’re aro/ace, you are loved, you are valued, you are a part of the rainbow family and always will be.

[veillees]

On April 8 we celebrate the death of Margaret Thatcher, and remember all the lives she destroyed.

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Newsflash my friend likes my songs. I'm so happy he likes them.

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I'm in the process of testing how much I can get through a bottleneck at once, once again. Which is fun, in a special kind of way.

I want to help my brother finish a guitar build he has had lying around for ages. I want to play live shows, for which I've recorded demos (that none of my irl friends give me feedback on, which might mean that my music sucks, or which might mean that they haven't found the time to listen yet, who could tell?). I want to get my voice in better singing shape so that I can re-record the vocals for my EP (remember how I talk about that since motherfucking 2017? yeah). I want to build a second bass (four strings, fretless, turquoise with a silver sparkle pickguard and a handwound pickup). I want to write new songs. I want to do more collaborative work with my pianist friend (I wish I could be in the band he tries to form, but I live to far away from his practice space to make it work). And that's not even all of it (iykyk).

So, yeah. If I didn't also have a life apart from all that dreaming, most of that might work out, mightn't it?

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5 years ago, I was in Rehab.

10 years ago, I was watching my Potential and Opportunities dissolve and evaporate in an ocean of cheap gin and expensive whiskey.

But 5 years ago, I was in Rehab.

One of the exercises they had us perform was to imagine ourselves happy, 5 years in the future.

Many of us in that room had forgotten how to imagine nice things happening to them. A few snorted (well, I snorted), finding the notion that we’d even still be around in 5 years grimly humorous.

For about half of us, it was the last stop on the way down.

But I indulged the therapist. I was there, after all, because I did not want to die. So, I imagined myself, 5 years hence.

Happy.

It came to me all at once; an artistic remix on Norman Rockwell’s Freedom From Want, reframed with myself placing food at the table.

Sunday Dinner At My Place, I answered, when it came my turn to share my fantasy. I was asked what food I imagined eating.

It’s not the meal itself, I said, it’s the implications framed around it. Sunday Dinner At My Place means that I have a Place. It means that I have Family that will actually speak to me and friends who actually want to see me. It means money enough not just to feed myself but others too. It means having the time to spare to take the time preparing the meal.

A lot of nodding heads all around me. A struck chord. Many people with no Place, in that place. Nowhere that would lament their leaving.

5 years hence, as I lay down to sleep in my Home, with my Wife and my Son, surrounded by my Art and my Flowers, I reflect.

It was a long road. It was hard. We lost people. So many people. There were long days and long nights and hospital stays. Angry arguments with ghosts. I changed, in ways I never hoped for, or expected. Good ways, finally, for once. Slowly, against the backdrop of a world in chaos, I found my mind.

Sometimes, My Wife wondered aloud, what she did to deserve me. After some stumbling with my feelings, I eventually settled on an answer.

I’m a Rescue.

She gave me a Home.

And, so, I gave her a Family.

It seemed fair

This Sunday, my folks, which whom I have not had a shouting match in years, will come over for dinner. We will cook and eat together. My Friend became My Wife, and she took a piece of me and with it she made Our Son. There will be many hugs, and no violence. Good Things Happened.

I don’t know who needs to hear this, but you don’t know what the future holds.

don’t give up yet, ok?

It could get good, even.

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