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[vertinssuitcase]

Regulus: Wow Vertin I didn’t know you were a fan of dikfur!

Vertin: I don’t know what that is. However I think that cannibalism-

Regulus: DIKS FO YO MOUTH!!!

Regulus: GOTTEM!!!

Vertin: Ahaha!

Vertin: Jail.

Vertin: For ONE THOUSAND YEARS!!

[vertinssuitcase]

Horrorpedia: Wait so are you gay??

Pavia: No my friend! I simply had a VERY tragic accident and zero hospital visits to cause my wrist to be permanently limp!

Horrorpedia: Wait really??

Pavia: COURSE NOT IM A RAGING HOMOSEXUAL!!!

Horrorpedia: With a wrist problem..?

Pavia: if you can’t handle me and my sarcasm you don’t deserve me when I or-

Horrorpedia: VERTIN PAV IS SAYING WEIRD THINGS AGAIN!!!

[vertinssuitcase]

Schneider: Unlike mine, my brain is SO wrinkly.

Vertin: yes of course.

Vertin: Your brain is so textured just like your bones.

Schneider:

Schneider: why would you say that?

Vertin: Bones are constantly wet.

[vertinssuitcase]

Horrorpedia: Oh wonderful! Vertin found us a sacrifice!

Horrorpedia: That means I can back out if things gets bad! Yippee!!

Sonetto: What the hell man.

[vertinssuitcase]

Matilda: As a homosexual-

Schneider: YOU’RE GAY!?!

Matilda: No, there’s nothing in my life to be happy about so homosexual.

[vertinssuitcase]

Schneider pointing at a stick: Yeah that’s what my dick looks like!!

Vertin: I’m sorry Schneider, but I’m not much of a monster fucker.

[vertinssuitcase]

Зима: Has anyone seen that one anime fruit bag?

Зима: Fruit cup?

Зима: Fruit basket!

Click: Ah yes my favorite anime, Fruit cup.

Blonney: I got called that as a slur once.

[vertinssuitcase]

During A Power Outage In The Suitcase.

Pavia: oh it’s dark in here.

Sonetto: Yeah you should turn on the light.

Pavia, flicking the switch and it remains dark.

Sonetto:

Pavia: Oh right.

[vertinssuitcase]

Click: Sometimes eyes just burns.

Blonney: Blink.

[vertinssuitcase]

Vertin: God, this tea has cured my throat.

Schneider: Oh? What kind?

Vertin: Gossip.

[vertinssuitcase]

Vertin: “do you think it’s a fracture.”

Blonney: “thank god you have Medicaid.”

Blonney: “hurt the right friend.”

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Blonney: YOU ADDED FIVE SONGS!?!?

Regulus: NUH UH!!

Blonney: YES YOU DID YOU SAID YOU’D ADD ONE! ONE!!

Blonney: THIS IS LIKE IF YOU GIVE A MOUSE A COOKIE!!

Blonney: WELL!! I GAVE A FUCKING MOUSE ONE COOKIE AND BITCH ADDED FIVE SONGS TO MY QUEUE!!

[vertinssuitcase]

A letter from medicine pocket: PAGIA BLS BUY OBERWAB@2 BATL BAS NOWE, UR WHALEFUM TOR THIGS MY CARDE IS CRYING

Pavia: let me translate this.

Vertin: no I can translate it.

Vertin: Pavia, please buy overwatch 2 battle pass now. You’re welcome for this. My card is crying.

Pavia: Incorrect. You didn’t get it right.

Vertin: HOW?? I WAS AN AVID HOMESTUCKER!!?

Pavia: it actually says..

Pavia: Pavia, please buy the overwatch 2 battle pass at your earliest convenience, preferably as soon as possible; you are truly welcome for the gift of twenty united state dollars. My credit card, which has been used quite frequently recently in the past twenty-four hours, is now teary eyed due to the amount of use that it has been put under.

Vertin: What the fuck.

[vertinssuitcase]

Зима: I might take a nap once we get back.

Vertin: That doesn’t sound like a nap that sounds like-

Click: You mean going to bed?

Click: That’s what you mean right?

Click: There’s no such thing as taking naps past 8. That’s just going to bed.

[vertinssuitcase]

Vertin: I’m going to college.

Matilda: That’s awesome!

Vertin: Thanks mom for trauma and free college.

Matilda staring for a minute.

Matilda: Well… Not as awesome that first part but the second part is cool!

[vertinssuitcase]

Druvis III: Guys, he’s a PSYCHOPATH the only “Rizz” he has is a rizz-straining order!

[vertinssuitcase]

Vertin: can we be doomed by the narrative?

Schneider: we literally already are.

Schneider: we’re gay and live in red states hun.

Schneider: We are already so doomed.

Vertin: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!