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Aron has never done anything wrong ever??? The slander??!!?! >:T

My Pokemon head canon is that if you were holding an Aron and she wanted to go down she would do the little cat thing where they wiggle until they leap out of your arms gracefully except Aron is made mostly out of solid steel and would land with the impact tungsten cube, dent the floor, cause permanent structural damage to the foundation, and then stand up and happily trot along like she didn't do anything

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characters who dig themselves out of their graves (whether literal or metaphorical) are at the top of the list. nothing beats a character who should have died but didn't and comes back to haunt their own life and the world around them, benevolent or violent it doesn't matter, it's enthralling either way

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Reno: Rude’s on patrol, so while he’s gone I’m gonna cut the sleeves off of all my shirts.

Elena: Why?

Reno: He’s pretty much 85% of my impulse control.

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i had a thought of "do people not know what AUs are anymore?" and then i remembered nobody explains fandom stuff to new people anymore so it is entirely plausible people genuinely don't know what AUs are and nobody has explained it to them, so for today's lucky 10,000:

"AU" stands for "Alternate Universe" or "Alternative Universe" (same difference) and is basically any thought scenario for a fandom that isn't canon and can't fit within the canon universe. If it takes place in the canon universe but something is notably different, that is typically what's known as a "Canon divergent AU," because it diverges from canon.

an AU can be absolutely anything. There's a couple of widespread pan-fandom au scenarios that often get thrown around, like coffee shop aus, genderbend aus, hanahaki aus (hanahaki is a whole thing in itself i'd recommend researching on your own), etc. One you might hear sometimes is "crossover AU" which is when you have characters from one fandom interacting with characters from another.

You can have as many aus as you want. They can be whatever you want and you can do whatever you want in them. It's a sandbox for you to play around in and explore how things would be different or how the characters would act in those circumstances or environments. Maybe they have different relationships with each other. Maybe they behave slightly differently. Or you can just say "Okay, [x] is true. How did they get here? How would things have to be different for this to occur?" which can also be fun.

If you are ever confused about why people ship something that seems completely out of the blue or doesn't make sense to you in the canon setting, there's a good chance they like it in an AU setting! Not everything everybody is interacting with is necessarily the canon! Not everybody wants things to exist in canon and just want to explore playing dolls in a different sandbox and that's okay. And their sandbox might look a lot different than yours, and that's also okay. You have the freedom to make your sandbox whatever you please. Do whatever you want forever. Get funky with it. AUs are fun.

Okay that's my schpeal. everybody go have fun and play nice now.

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Cissnei: Go to sleep or you'll hate yourself in the morning!

Tseng: I'll hate myself in the morning regardless.

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Genesis: Bitches be like ‘You’re mine’. First of all, I’m on probation. ‘I’ belong to the state.

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some fandom disagreements are like "I see your point but I think this other aspect of the narrative is more significant," and some are like "I don't think you can read."

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Some gossiping Thirds and Seconds overhear Angeal speaking of having to go deal with some deadheads. It’s a surprise to see him already back on the Soldier Floor a couple hours later.

They didn’t know he still went off on simple extermination missions, but it makes sense that he would complete them so quickly.

Zack, who only knows because he made the same mistake, absolutely does not correct them in their assumption. Kunsel, who never made the mistake in the first place but isn’t about to disrupt the misunderstanding/prank, waits until the others pass by before asking Angeal how his garden is fairing.

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Sephiroth: Look, I know that from the outside, it seems like I have everything together.

Zack: No, not really.

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Cloud: You could’ve died, man!

Zack: The doctor said all my bleeding was internal.

Zack: That’s where the blood’s supposed to be.

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I hope whoever wrote the line "Look at you taking charge. I like it." got a massive raise for that stroke of genius.

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Angeal: we can’t mansplain, manipulate, or malewife our way out of this.

Genesis *cocks gun*: manslaughter it is

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Cloud: We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 4 year old.

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This started as a comment but it got too damn long so…

  

Pls, just imagine: TINY BABEY KITTENS swarming Cloud because he is The Adult™︎ and they has a FEAR! Cloud, uncertain as to what do, or where they even came from, brings them home to the apartment he shares with the others.

The kittens instantly accept Zack as one of them, albeit a very tall, weird one of them.

They also go straight to Sephiroth because Cloud greeted him just fine so he is obvs the main protector being so fierce, so strong.

One kitten tries to fight Genesis bit by bit. It starts with his boot. The others are okay with him, though they’re not swarming all over him like they do the other two.

Once they see Cloud lean against Angeal then they’re chill with him, too. It helps he has food. If Mama (Cloud) isn’t available, they go to Angeal and yell.

Except one.

It goes to square up with a piece of Genesis’s pauldrons.

How animals react to the boys (AGSZC)

Zack: All animals instantly love him, he smells like happiness and blessings. Some are put off by his energy, but he's pretty good about toning it down and matching them, so they overcome their trepidation because HE SMELLS SO GOOD (to animals).

Genesis: All animals instantly have beef with him because his life is a trial; if he wants to be friends, he has to win them over with tons of treats. There is a lot of squawking (from both sides). This absolutely includes insects, they want to bite/sting him in particular.

Sephiroth: Animals instantly know he's an apex predator and are scared, but most warm up to him when he behaves like the sweet kitty he is deep down.

Angeal: Generally well-liked by dogs, though timid or small animals are often intimidated by his bulk and tendency to loom (he can't help it). He puts in the effort and is accepted pretty smoothly in the end.

Cloud: Animals tend to think Cloud is their same species, and expect him to know all their social cues as a result, so it can be a mixed bag. Chocobos see him as a chick and gently guide and correct him, or indulge him as they see fit. Cats see him as an adult cat and need to go through the formal greeting protocols before they trust him. Dogs tend to like him, thinking he's a fellow chill bro.

This one thinks he's adorable:

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Absolutely evil idea but: Reno leaves a positive pregnancy test in the Turks' bullpen as a prank. Elena, as the only remaining female turk, is immediately standing on trial. What transpires between the other Turks + Rufus?

*Rude urgently grabs Elena by the arm and pulls her aside*

Rude: Elena, you and this baby have my full support. Whatever you need. I'll babysit. I'll build the crib. I'll learn how to knit.

Elena: …What?

Rude: I don't need to know who the father is. That's not important. I've got you, buddy. I already made a spreadsheet. There are snack charts.

Elena: I'm not pregnant!

Rude: You are, and that's okay.

Elena: I'M. NOT. PREGNANT.

Tseng: Who's not pregnant?

*Rude holds up a positive pregnancy test*

Rude: I found this near Elena's desk.

Tseng: YOU'RE PREGNANT?

Elena: NOT PREGNANT!

Tseng: This is inconvenient. You'll have to go on maternity leave while we're understaffed. And you're so young. Who's the father? Is it—

Elena: Please, I'm telling you, I haven't even spoken to a man in days. The last guy I talked to was the Vice President.

*Rude narrows his eyes. Slowly turns. Locks onto Rufus across the room like a missile seeking a target*

Tseng: It's alright if you are. Shinra offers a generous maternity bonus, complimentary gift baskets, and company-funded daycare.

*Behind them, Rude sprints at Rufus and tackles him like a linebacker*

Elena: Wait, we get daycare? That's… honestly pretty progressive.

Tseng: Indeed. Full medical, paid leave, even a Shinra-branded baby monitor.

*Cut to Rude actively choking Rufus in the background with one hand and shaking a stapler at him with the other*

Elena: Huh. Well, I'm not pregnant, but nice to know HR finally did something right.

Tseng: You're absolutely sure?

*In the background, Rufus tries to army crawl away but Rude yanks him back by the boot and starts stapling him to the ground*

Elena: Positive. But hey… thanks for trying to help. I wonder who the pregnancy test belongs to, though.

*Reno appears int he background and intervenes, telling Rude the pregnancy test is his*

Tseng: I don't know, but surely it'll get resolved soon.

*Rude interprets this as Reno being pregnant and Rufus still being the father, promptly knocks the VP out*

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i drew more kunsel lololol