voiceactresskurutta - Tumblr blog

[voiceactresskurutta]

now that i can Post again... grim beeper....

[voiceactresskurutta]

so... i lied 🤫 i cheated 🫣 i bribed men 💵💵🧑‍🤝‍🧑🧑‍🤝‍🧑 to cover 🛌 the crimes 🚔🔍🔗 of other men 👨🧔‍♂️🧔 i am an accessory 💍👑👛🪭 to murder 🗡🗡🗡 but 🍑 the most damning 👿💀👹👺 thing of all 🤷‍♂️ i think 🤔💭 i can 🥫 live with it 🥱💅 and if ❓️❔️ i had to do it all over again ⌛️⏳️⏱️ i would 😤 garak 🦎🧵🪡 was right 💯💯 about 1️⃣ thing 👏 a guilty 😰 conscience 🧚‍♀️🧚‍♂️ is a small 🔎🔬 price 💰 to pay 💸💸 for the safety 🏥🛟 of the alpha 🐺 quadrant 🌌 so 🤷 i will learn 📚✏️to live with it 😒 because I can 🥫 live with it 😣 i can 🥫 live with it 😔🥃 computer 💻 erase 🧼🧽🚮 that entire 🌎 personal log 📖❌️👋👋

[voiceactresskurutta]

I POSTED THE GIF AND SOMEBODY SAID IT NEEDS THE KOTH THEME OVER IT AND I'M FUCKING WHEEZING HOLY SHIT

[voiceactresskurutta]

so my return to tumblr got a little derailed and I keep forgetting to check it but I like that every time I come back I see likes and reblogs on ancient WordGirl posts like good to know that show is still getting love ages after it ended

I also never changed my facebook cover photo from a wordgirl screenshot and my laptop avatar from a picture of LRW just because I didn't get around to it. But I like those little reminders of my old stomping ground

[voiceactresskurutta]

like whack a mole

[voiceactresskurutta]

me: hi i need a good referral to some sort of mental health specialist to get proper diagnoses for these specific potential issues. i've put this off for a long time because i have a hard time making decisions, struggle with communication/contacting professionals, and have a hard time trusting medical personnel without a good reference my pcp: here's a list of several dozen providers i printed out that include a lot of ones you don't quality for and don't specialize in what you asked about, it's just a massive print out of all our resources me: wow this is worthless to me

[voiceactresskurutta]

It's a lot healthier to go for a daily walk than to sign up for a gym membership you won't be using because you hate that kind of exercise. It's a lot healthier to eat a frozen meal than to skip a meal because you were too tired to cook something healthy. It's a lot healthier to take a quick shower than to procrastinate an elaborate routine for days. Don't aim so high that you won't be hitting anything!

[voiceactresskurutta]

what is kokobot and why does it keep messaging me

[voiceactresskurutta]

Actual roman epitaph for a dog

[voiceactresskurutta]

The relics we deserved

This comic lives rentfree in my head every day

manderville manderelic mambo

[voiceactresskurutta]

[voiceactresskurutta]

I can't be the first to make this connection

[voiceactresskurutta]

you don't deserve trauma though hopefully you won't be standing by how you mocked others for that and saying they deserved it

I don't recall saying others deserved trauma????

But I also won't discount the possibility that I said some absolute dogshit idiot stuff when I was younger. I've changed a lot over the years and gotten much wiser. I truly apologize for things I said in the past that indicated others deserved trauma. I also have the tendency to say things that means one thing in my head but comes across differently to most people. So either I said some horrible things because I was ignorant and naive, or I said something that came off absolutely atrocious when it wasn't what I meant. Either way, I take responsibility for the hurt it caused others, and I hope that I continue to become a better person as I go through life.

[voiceactresskurutta]

[voiceactresskurutta]

once i get around to it, i'm gonna sit down and reblog as many good hildibrand posts as i can find so if you don't wanna sit it go ahead and mute that tag, i'll probably tag as both first name and first + last

[voiceactresskurutta]

wow i apparently got sent a bunch of messages over the years i was inactive and i truly don't remember any of the context

for those who haven't talked to or heard from me in awhile, my memory doesn't work anymore because a trauma in the summer of 2021 just dumped shit out of my brain. i've been told i probably have PTSD but haven't found anyone to diagnose yet

anyway i don't really know how to talk properly, and i'm not sure how much of me is the same as before or completely different. not really sure who i am because there's so many things i used to derive a sense of identity from that are different now. like i used to have an incredible memory, be amazing at keeping in touch with people, be able to multitask extremely well and balance a hefty mental load.

but somewhere along the way as i aged i just became run down, and it's hard to feel alright about myself when the few things i did genuinely take pride in are gone

[voiceactresskurutta]

i hope this isn't odd, but i randomly stumbled upon your blog and saw you were considering coming back to tumblr and that you were lonely... i just wanted to say, do it!! i came to tumblr again for the same reason but the people on this site are lovely ^^

I'm having trouble remembering to log on and look at posts. I think it's because there are people I follow that post stuff that I nowadays have a bad association with, and my current hyperfixation is too niche for me to find content for.

I want to come back, but I just can't seem to actually like. Sit down and do it properly? I'm not even sure how many of my old friends are still here.