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wanderingpages · 11 days ago

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Lowkey same @mxciscastleintheair

*Ya'll... Idk, but hear me out.... I was trying to write an actual hatefuck but then i was like okay Cardan can't lie and say all these things...can he? BUT you know who can???

Jude x Valerian.

The Cruel Prince, Ch 18:

“Why shouldn’t I be here?” Valerian asks me, striding closer. He smells like pinesap and burned hair, and there is a light dusting of golden powder streaked over one cheek. I am not sure where he’s been before this, but I don’t think he’s sober.

“This is my home.” I am prepared for training with the Ghost. I have a knife in my boot and another at my hip, but thinking of Dain’s command, thinking of how not to disappoint him further, I reach for neither. I am flummoxed by Valerian’s being here, in my room.

He walks up to my bed. He’s holding the knife well enough, but I can tell he’s not particularly practiced with it. He is no general’s son. “None of this is your home,” he tells me, voice shaking with anger.

“If Cardan put you up to this, you should really rethink your relationship,” I say, finally, now, afraid. By some miracle, my voice stays steady. “Because if I scream, there are guards in the hall. They’ll come. They’ve got big, pointy swords. Huge. Your friend is going to get you killed.”

Show your power by appearing powerless.

He doesn’t seem to be absorbing my words. His eyes are wild, red-rimmed, and not entirely focused on me. “Do you know what he said when I told him you’d stabbed me? He told me it was no more than I deserved.”

That’s impossible; Valerian must have misunderstood. Cardan must have been mocking him for letting me under his guard.

“What did you expect?” I ask him, trying to hide my surprise. “I don’t know if you noticed, but the guy is a real jerk.”

His smile is saccharine and slow to move across his face fully. It makes my heart hammer and he creeps closer as I inch back, slowly, slowly, slowy, until I'm pressed to my head board. “And you want him so bad.”

I blink in surprise, my breath catching. “You do, too,” I accuse. Then my mouth closes into a thin line, realizing I’ve said something I shouldn’t have. Valerian is knelt on the bed, one hand steadying himself on the headboard, the other holding the knife to my throat. My fingers tremble, reaching for one of my own weapons. If he wasn’t sure he wanted to stab me before, he’s sure now. He pulls back before slamming the knife into the headboard as I duck out of the way, right from under him. I let out a yelp that I quickly try to muffle. I pull out a dagger of my own, pressing my knee to his thigh. He lets go of the hilt, stuck to the wood and swivels, taking me with him. Graceful for his rather overall clumsy attempt at killing me. One hand is holding my free hand to my back, fingers and nails pressing hard into my skin. If the iron in my blood stings him, he shows no sign. His other hand holds my wrist, blocking the tip of my blade from pressing into his neck.

He lets me touch him though. Enough to dimple his pale skin, but not enough to break it. My knees on either side of him tremble, close to buckling. My breath is heavy, in tandem with the way his chest heaves up and down. His eyes are wild and my palms begin to sweat. Everything feels strange and wrong and the smile he wears makes me uneasy.

Slowly, to my surprise, he releases the hold on my bent arm, grazing the wounds he’s made. He holds me by my hip, smudging blood into my skin. “Does it scare you?” His voice is low. My hand fumbles on to his arm, holding on to him for stability. I feel so weak. I should scream for help. I should scream.

I nearly collapse on him as I instinctively try to press the dagger deeper into his neck. “You fucking terrify me,” I whisper, my breath touching his. His thumb slips under my shirt, grazing skin.

“And yet…” he cants his head, squeezing my wrist so hard that I’m sure it’ll bruise, but not break. “You silly little slut.” His head falls back, he lets out a short laugh, quiet, but in disbelief. “I can smell you.” My cheeks heat red and my legs tighten, forgetting they’re around Valerian. “This turns you on.” He looks at me with eyes full of heat and mockery. “You hate me so much, and yet you’re aroused.”

He catches me so off guard that I feel shame just for a moment as he releases his hold on me, tossing my hand over his shoulder. The dagger slips to the ground, and I press my hand into the mattress, right beside his head. He grabs the back of my neck and pulls me close. His lips tease mine, not quite touching but tickling every nerve in my body. The breaths he takes from me are dizzying.“Cardan…Locke…me…” he pulls my bottom lip between his teeth, lightly. “You filthy human.” He says sweetly. “Do you want us all? Do you want to be our little plaything? Does it kill you that you can’t help but want us the way everyone else does?” He sucks my lip and my eyes flutter. “You pretend you’re one of us – better than us – but you’re just like any other human. Useless, wanton, greedy little creatures.”

I could say the same about his and his kind – finding ways to steal us and our children. They depend on us much more than we admire them. He licks into my mouth and I’m so startled that I let him. His kiss is soft and sweet and teasing and instinctively, I give in, working my mouth against his almost roughly, like a punishment – for coming into my room, for trying to stab me, for insulting me in the same vein he holds me like this. I taste that liquid gold he must have consumed before daring to enter my room. The contact high is still effective, though dulled, yet it’s the only reason I give myself for seeing this through. When I feel my breath give, he moves his mouth down to my throat, “Pathetic,” he murmurs.

“Fuck you,” I grit, only to gasp when his hand slides lower sliding into my pants, touching me but not doing much else. He kisses the hollow of my throat, reveling in the way my heart is beating so fast, veins strumming against his mouth. He could bite me there, let his teeth sink into my skin, rip out my jugular. Instead, his tongue flicks out and flattens against my skin. It starts to hurt, starts to pulse in places that I wish it wouldn’t. Valerian nips at my skin but its light, its soft, it’s the opposite of how it should be.

“Take it off.” He commands, thumb flicking the material of my top. No glamour, but I do it anyway. I lean back and let him watch as I rid of my shirt, then my bra. He reaches his body forward, bracing on his elbows. He kisses my breasts, eyes wicked as they meet mine. I feel good and I hate that he knows that, hate that he’s reveling in that, completely satisfied by the noises I try not to make.

“I…” I gasp for air, head falling back as if to give him more room. “I hate you…” I bite my lip, holding a moan when he circles one of my nipples with his tongue, covering it with his lips and sucking on the hardened peak. Gold marks on his cheeks transfer onto my skin. I have to remind myself he would never do this sober – I have to remind myself that I probably wouldn’t do this sober either. I hold on to his shoulders, I should have been pulling him away, telling him to stop, but I am sliding my hands towards the nape of his neck, inching closer and closer to weave my hands into his hair. I'm so very aware of how hard and calloused my fingers must feel against his soft and smooth skin. Maybe he doesn’t care or notice. He moves on to the next nipple rolling it taught, and my nails dig into his scalp. I want to yank at his soft silvery hair, pull until it stings. When I do, Valerian lets me, chuckling into my skin.

“Did that make you feel good?” I don’t answer. I'm not sure whether he means his mouth on me or my hands on him. The answer is the same and I don’t want to admit it out loud. He overpowers me, getting me on my back, hastily undoing my pants, with clever, deft fingers. “You’re dressed,” he realizes, maybe too late as he begins tossing my boots one at a time. “Brainless slut,” Valerian teases and I want to hate him for it, but it’s so tender, it confuses me. “Who were you sneaking out to see?” his finger trace at scars new and those long forgotten. So easy to break, to die, he’s once mentioned.

“No one,” I lie, lifting my hips as he yanks at my pants, underwear following. I don’t think he cares for the answer, honestly. I think he cares that I’ve decided to stay with him instead, though. I should tell him The Ghost is waiting for me. That if I don’t show up he’ll search for me. He doesn’t have to know I’d be on my own. That The Ghost would watch as I try to break free. If I do let Valerian know, he’d call me a liar. Because I don’t want to break free and he knows.

I'm completely bare before him, nothing but moonlight touching my skin as Valerian takes me in hungrily. “I want to see.” He meets my eyes for a moment, curiosity overpowering the visceral hate for just a second. “Show me.” His hand smooths up my thighs, and my hips move in a slow involuntary gyration. His fingers creep higher and higher, then he bends down and places a kiss to my thighs, open mouthed and wet I bite at my lip until it stings. He grabs my hand and places it right where he wants. “I said, show me, Jude.” This time, there is glamour in his voice. It has no effect on me but I show him anyway. I slide my fingers between my slit, rubbing until it glistens, until it coats my fingers and slowly begins to drip down my skin. I feel awkward, embarrassed and very inexperienced, but I keep my eyes on him, feeling an ache in the way that he looks at me. He moves my fingers to my clit, showing me how to rub in soft circles, “Look at you,” Valerian murmurs and I almost don’t hear him with how ragged my breath is. He dips his head and licks into me. I gasp, eyes rolling when he begins to suck on my flesh. He breathes me in as he devours me, tasting me like his last meal. My thighs close around him but he holds them apart. My hand finds the sheets, digging into the fabric, the other touches his hair, holding onto him for dear life. He likes when I’m rough with him, I think. He smiles against me, tonguing me expertly.

I could almost think he likes me. I find part of myself wondering if a stab to my chest would be less torturous than this. He looks up at me, as if guessing my thoughts. “Do you hate me? Do you hate that it’s me who’s gotten you like this?”

“Ah!” I press a hand to my mouth, biting down on my knuckles, “You… bastard,” I cry into my skin when he sucks my clit into his mouth.

He laughs quietly, kissing my cunt tenderly. He draws a finger just under his lips, inserting it into me. One then two, slowly twisting upwards, curving them in a beckoning motion inside of me. “You can hate me,” Valerian says. “But this pussy doesn’t hate me, does it, Jude?” the more he talks, the warmer I feel. “Your body doesn’t hate me.” My knees tremble, my toes curl. He works his fingers slow and his mouth even slower, making love to my pussy and I hate him so much for it. I hate that my hips twist and rise, silently begging him for more. His eyes meet mine with such…venom.

“Please…” I beg, feeling myself tethering on the edge. He laughs against me, licking and flicking my swollen clit, circling it before sucking it again, like a delicate kiss. He moves upward, kissing me as he goes. His words are harsh but his movements are soft. He presses his lips over my stomach, laps between the valley of my breasts, the hollow of my throat. He finds my ear as his hands move between our bodies, pulling down his breeches.

“The sounds you’re gonna make for me,” he rubs the swollen head of his cock between my lips. I bite my bottom lip, hard. “Those pretty, dirty fucking cries,” he bites out harshly, quietly. “That’s the only good thing about you.”

He pulls at my earlobe with his teeth then kisses just under my jaw. “Why are you doing this,” I find the courage to ask, as my legs slowly wrap around his waist. He came to kill me, I remind myself, desperately. “You hate me, too,” I remind him.

He hums against my skin. “You think you’re so strong,” he rubs harder, slower, making sure I feel every ridge gliding against my pussy. “Head held so high. And look at you now – such a pathetic little whore. As long as I'm petting this pussy and rubbing your clit, you moan and beg me like any other human I’ve bedded. You think you’re above them all, don’t you Jude.” My hips move in wave-like motions, trying to meet his slow thrusts. “You’re just like everyone else.” He surprises me, brushing my damp, stray hair from my face, knuckles grazing my cheeks softly, like a lover. “You look so beautiful like this.” He takes my lips in a kiss, and I hungrily reciprocate. My fingers glide over his shoulders, under the collar of his shirt, trying in vain to find more skin. Valerian pulls away. “I hate you so much,” he murmurs into my lips. He pinches a nipple before thumbing it over, soothing away the sting. Slowly he moves his hand down to my pelvis, holding me still. He positions himself right where I ache for him and his thumb slowly strokes my clit. His other hand guides a thigh up, spreading me open. “I hate you so much, that I love making you feel like this.”

He presses in gently and my head falls back, eyes meeting where the knife still proudly juts out of my bed. I close my eyes and Valerian enters me slowly. “It hurts,” I whisper, shocked by my confession.

“I know,” he murmurs, “I got you,” he says, tenderly – too tenderly. “I’ll make you feel so fucking good,” he promises. “I’ll fuck you like a pretty girl like you deserves.” He slides deeper into me, stretching me. “Nice and slow, like a lover. And when you finally fuck Locke… or Cardan… or whoever else you were meant to see tonight…” He chuckles as if in disbelief at his own list. He shakes his head, “you’re going to remember this – you’re going to remember what if felt like having someone who hates you make love to you like this. And like the slutty little human you are, you might say my name instead of theirs.” My cheeks run so red they start to hurt with heat. Fuck him, fuck him, fuck him.

And then he’s all the way in and holding still so I can adjust. He touches my face, forcing my gaze to his. “Do you hate it too,” I ask. “How hard you are for me? How responsive your body is to mine?”

He grins, “Yeah,” he admits, tugging my hair like he likes to do so often. “So much that I want to turn you around, press your face into the bed, slam into your tight little cunt over and over and over, make you scream and whither, drunk off my cock, begging for my come.” I shiver, holding on to his arm. I can’t help but imagine it. “But I won’t do that. Not tonight.” My pussy tightens around him and he kisses me again, thumb stroking my cheek, fingers holding my hair back. He slides out then slowly enters, pressing into me so deeply that my stomach tightens and my back arches. He groans into my mouth, languidly kissing me just as slow as hips move into mine. “Say my name.”

“Valerian…” I whisper against his mouth. He picks up pace and I say his name again and again, hands moving down his back and under his shirt. I drag my nails across his muscles, wanting him to feel the ache he’s made me feel. He fucks me deep and hard but still so tender. He breathes me in, nuzzling his nose to my neck between kisses. My lips sting as they part, gasping. I moan, turning my head giving him more access. His composure slowly falls, his breath turning ragged.

“Fuck,” he breathes, pushing into me, angling himself to rub against that sweet spot inside of me. My hips lift, my back pushing off the bed, begging to be closer to him. “Look at me.” I do, i slowly turn to face him, let our noses touch and graze, the dampness of our skins mix. The fabric of his clothes, the jewels and chains adorned on him press into my bare skin like a brand. I feel dizzy and sober and wrong and good. I don’t want him to stop, I beg him to go faster, I flex my muscles and try to match his thrusts. His palm runs down my middle then stops, pressing down on my pelvis, “Fuck,” he moans again. I gasp, every muscle in my body tightening at the sensation. “I feel it,” he mumbles. I reach up with one hand, brushing locks of his hair back. I can be soft and tender too. He lifts his hand to grab mine and places it against my belly, pressing down both our hands. “When I press my hand here, I feel it inside of you, thrusting in and out, stretching you…” Valerian groans again, and I feel it too, thick and long and marking me from within. “You feel so fucking good, taking all of me like such a good little slut.”

I hate that I like his degradation, that I want him to call me everything under the sun but my own name. Because when he does say my name, I feel like we’re different people. He’s only called my name so warmly tonight; I can almost imagine that he doesn’t hate me. But it’s his game and I have to stop myself from reading into his actions, focus more on what he’s actually saying to me. “God,” I whisper, “Oh god… I’m close,” I tell him, but he knows, he’s known for a while, letting me get as high as I can before pulling me back down again. I feel like I’m close to breaking, and it’s exactly what Valerian wants. My hand on his back scrapes skin until I can free it from under his shirt. I place my knuckles against my mouth but he grabs hold of it, releasing a whimper from me - one I had been trying to smother.

“Don’t try to hide, slut,” He rubs my clit rough, his other thumb pulls at my bottom lip, forcing me to focus on him. “Look how messy you are… how sloppy that pussy is for me. Say it,” he tells me. “Tell me how this pussy aches for me.”

“Va…” my throat catches, “Val..erian…” I whisper in desperation. “Please, please, please, let me come.”

“Tell me, Jude.”

“It aches,” I whimper desperately. “it aches for you…” My eyes shut so tightly that it hurts.

“You can come,” he tells me, “You can come all over this cock, but I'm not going to stop.” I gasp, close to tears. “It won’t hurt,” he comforts me, “when I fuck you through your orgasm. You’re going to feel so good, Jude.” He slips his thumb between my lips. I wrap my tongue around his digit, sucking on him as my body starts to feel like liquid while he uses me, while he fucks me like he owns me. I pulse around him, quivering as he holds me. He thrusts hard, slamming into me then slowly pulling out just to slam back in, over and over. He presses his mouth on my skin, roams his hands on my body, finding places to mark and hold and squeeze and tease. He murmurs nonsensical things, feels like sweet nothings but sounds like he can’t stand me and what we’re doing.

I feel when he comes, thick liquid flooding me as his thrusts become unrelenting. I hold him against me as much as I can, wanting to step into his skin, taking everything that he gives me. “Look at you, slut,” he slurs between heady little moans, “Letting someone you hate fill you up. Letting someone who talks to you like this come inside of you…mark you from the inside.”

“Don’t stop,” I beg, because when he slides in again, I feel another wave hit me, and I'm clinging to him, sobbing on him, coming again and again as he calls me his whore, his slut, his pretty little human. I wrap my legs around him, holding him in as he rides this out.

Valerian collapses on top of me, kissing my neck and chest, then under my chin, my jaw and to my lips again, staying inside me as he kisses me. Our tongues dance lazily, my breaths still trying to even, but Valerian greedily soaks it in, revelling in my neediness for him. He bends his head, resting it on the crook of my neck bracing himself against me. Slowly, he pulls out, letting warm liquid spill between us. I look down at him, partially in horror, partially on the verge of begging him for more. We stay still for a moment, in each other’s arms. I reach for the knife right above us and he laughs, body shaking against mine. “Do it,” he whispers, he dares me.

#and 100% they still hate each other #like isn’t that beautiful fr

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