wanderlustxo-420
Welcome To Inside My Mind
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I went to the storage unit today. Looking through everything from my old apartment with Ben left a tingling of sadness. It was as if seeing all the items that once filled out space together awoke the memory of my life before. Before he died. Before I was teleported to a life without him in it. it honestly feels that way at times, that the life I had with him was an alternate reality .
I thought I was “healed” enough to go through the storage unit without feeling any negative feelings. But telling myself that it is no big deal doesn’t make it so. It happened. It happened to me. And I’m still here. But how do you make sense of somehow managing to pick up the pieces after all that and continue to live without separating the two in such a delusional way?
I guess a part of me healing is allowing myself to feel the sadness when it comes and not judge myself or try to analyze it. Just to feel it, and get through feeling it. Because analyzing it will just drive me mad.
Just because I’m happy now doesn’t mean that the sad parts of my life never happened to me.
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