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uhm folllow @vapegodguren lol

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According to the server I have apparently not posted this little Mika sketch publically (it was a patreon exclusive a year ago), so it’s time to do so. 

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hey siri what does it mean when you can’t stop thinking about your best friend and his nice smile and pretty eyes

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i couldn’t sleep until i made this

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i jape and i jest but there would be no human mika/vampire yuu au bc the second mika saw guren approaching he would hightail it out of there and die at the hands of a horseman rather than hang out with the dude who’s rambling about a prophecy

look i know yuu was in shock i know his entire family had just died but how fucking stupid do you have to be to not be even a little bit concerned when you’re standing in the middle of nowhere and some dude in full military getup walks up to you and is like “ah yes….just as the prophecy foretold….” like did the prophecy foretell that i’m about to run away from you as fast as humanly possible guren

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look i know yuu was in shock i know his entire family had just died but how fucking stupid do you have to be to not be even a little bit concerned when you’re standing in the middle of nowhere and some dude in full military getup walks up to you and is like “ah yes....just as the prophecy foretold....” like did the prophecy foretell that i’m about to run away from you as fast as humanly possible guren

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anyone else ever think about how yuu and guren’s characters parallel each other so greatly and how guren’s love for his friends overshadowed everything else in his life and when he lost them he was so unable to go on without them that he selfishly killed thousands (millions?) of people and has spent his life since then literally becoming less and less human and his actions tread the line between morally gray and straight up evil, and how yuu could very easily go down the same path if something happened to one of his friends

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It’s not ideal, but you’re mine again.

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Welcome to the Mika Meta

(aka Mika Does Not Fuck aka Mika Does Not Fuck If He Can Help It aka Mika Fucked To Survive One (1) Time)

So Mika Hyakuya, everyone’s favorite sad vampire, is a man who does not fuck. You’d think this would be obvious, and if a competent author was at the wheel maybe it would be, but kagami is inconsistent and y'all really wanna write smut I guess, so it looks like I’m gonna have to break it down for you.

First I should define what I mean by “Mika doesn’t fuck” because anyone who’s deep into ons should know that fucking is sort of an objective term at this point. For my purposes we’re counting drinking someone’s blood as fucking. Yeah the blood drinking = fucking metaphor is coming out in full swing. (It’s not a subtle metaphor. Blood drinking = fucking. I’m not gonna explain that here). The act of drinking blood separate from a body isn’t fucking. Mika drinking vials of blood separate from the source isn’t fucking. Mika drinking Yuu’s blood directly from his neck in a scene that honestly couldn’t be any more sexual if it tried IS fucking.

So fucking is drinking someone’s blood directly from their body. Fucking is also just plain having sex. Obviously.

ANYWAYS, onto the actual reasons why Mika Does Not Fuck.

Okay so Ferid is just a whole entire rapist and pedophile, and Kagami couldn’t make that more clear if he wrote those exact words into the next chapter. Half the first chapter is about how Mika is letting Ferid suck his blood in exchange for food and money. Mika is a child prostitute and that is BARELY subtext. But everyone already knows that, so what’s the problem? Well the problem is, and apparently some of y'all aren’t aware of this, that this is a serious thing that has real consequences on his character (….as much as anything ever has consequences in this shitshow of a manga). 

It’s implied that Mika remains “friendly” with Ferid during the timeskip between the breakout and present day, but he doesn’t want to, and though Krul keeps an eye on him I can imagine her reach only goes so far, and just judging based off the Mika/Ferid interactions in canon, I think it’s fair to assume that Ferid spent the four years after Mika got turned continuing to be a creep and make unwanted advances on him. And we know that Ferid’s interest in Mika isn’t limited to the confines of the blood metaphor either. His advances on Mika range into the blatantly sexual, and though they’re played for laughs I think we can all agree that a) rape jokes still aren’t funny Kagami, and b) when a character’s entire personality is basically just one big rape joke, it’s safe to say that character is just a rapist. 

anyways yeah ferid has raped mika��almost certainly on multiple occasions but that’s not stated in canon just heavily, HEAVILY implied so I’ll leave it alone for now

Now is also probably a good time to remember that Mika has never had a positive role model in his life. Ferid is the only adult who’s consistently around him, and also the only vampire (besides Krul, who he knows is using him). Mika grew up being groomed and abused by Ferid, and his life is still very strongly shaped by Ferid. Mika is visibly annoyed and uncomfortable by everything Ferid does, but he never loses his temper, never fights back, even though his anger would be more than justified. He doesn’t even seem really, truly angry at Ferid, either, at least not on his behalf. He’s willing to threaten Ferid’s life when it comes to the possibility of harming Yuu, but in terms of his own wellbeing, Mika seems resigned to the fact that this is his fate, that Ferid already controls him and there’s nothing he can do to change that. 

Mika has seen the way the vampires drink the blood of humans like it’s nothing, and he’s horrified because he knows what it’s like to be on the other side of it, remembers how it feels. Remember that chapter when that little girl offered to let Mika drink her blood as thanks for saving her life? He was absolutely disgusted by the thought of it, the thought that he would ever use someone the way Ferid used him, and the thought that this sort of abuse was so common that the girl would willingly give up her own blood to him. 

He is terrified of the way Ferid treated him like an object and terrified that he could ever do the same thing to someone else. 

That’s why he’s so violently opposed to drinking the blood of children and why he’ll only drink Krul’s (note: Mika is the only vampire who consistently only drinks blood that was given to him with the other person’s consent). During the scene where he jumps on Yuu and drinks his blood, he’s mortified and ashamed of himself for sinking to the level of the other vampires, even as he was dying of hunger, even after Yuu told him repeatedly that it was okay. 

Yuu’s consent isn’t enough for Mika to drink his blood without feeling guilty, and it won’t ever be. Yuu is selfless, and he would gladly give up his blood for Mika’s benefit with zero regards for himself. Mika can’t have that. He can’t let Yuu put Mika’s life before his own, even if it’s a matter of life and death, because that’s just not enough consent for him. I think it’s pretty obvious that Yuu enjoys having his blood drinken (drank? drunk?) if that One Scene is any indication, but Mika can’t see that. All he can see is himself and what he wants, and Yuu, who would give him anything, even if it meant hurting himself. 

Mika wants Yuu’s blood, I think that much is obvious (and here’s the part where we start really heavily applying the blood drinking = sex metaphor again), but he’s terrified to act on it. Because in his mind, to want Yuu’s blood, to want Yuu, period, would make him as bad as Ferid. 

After all, in the whole history of Mika and Ferid, I seriously doubt that Mika ever outright refused whatever Ferid wanted from him. Giving Ferid his blood and his body was always framed as a choice, something he could say no to, even though he always said yes. And he doesn’t want to do that to Yuu. He’s terrified that he is doing it, without even knowing. That Yuu sees that he needs blood and knows his pain so when given the choice to give blood he always does, even though Mika keeps telling him he doesn’t have to.  

And okay, aside from not wanting to hurt Yuu, I just honestly don’t believe that Mika would enjoy having sex, even if he was assured that both parties gave complete consent. (This is the part where I base everything off the assumption that Ferid sexually abused Mika because even if Kagami won’t say it at risk of making Ferid too bad to ride the antihero line he keeps placing him on, it’s as good as canon.) Mika’s experience with sex starts and ends with Ferid’s abuse. Having sex would trigger a whole flood of traumatic memories, and not to undermine his willingness to do anything for Yuu, but I can’t imagine a relationship where he’s reliving painful memories as they have sex is even sort of sustainable. You’d just think that Yuu would have to notice at some point (hopefully sooner than later) and put a stop to things. 

(disclaimer: i’m not a csa survivor so i have no authority here and i know that abuse is different for everyone and not all survivors are sex repulsed but just based off canon it seems like mika himself is and that’s just my 2 cents)  

So, in conclusion, Mika Does Not Fuck because: 

a) he’s wary of getting physically intimate with anyone for fear that he’ll turn into Ferid 

b) he’s a csa survivor (not even survivor really…it’s pretty thoroughly implied that it’s still going on) 

c) he’s 16 years old, and as a 16 year old I would like to say on behalf of all of us: we do not fuck. 

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things that have happened since i ran from this blog and everything it stood for:

- kagami forgot what a vampire is

- i wrote A META ABOUT WHY MIKA DOESNT FUCK IT IS MY PRIDE AND JOY AND I AM GOING TO REBLOG IT TO THIS BLOG AND THEN NEVER SHUT UP ABOUT IT

- i read. hundreds of chapters of hxh. i’m talking i read from heavens arena to chairman elections in a week and a half. i’m talking i read all of chimera ant in 3 days. send help

- kagami fORGOT WHAT A VAMPIRE IS?????

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i couldn’t sleep until i made this

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IM BACK BITCHES

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hey. hey gays. gays. should i revive this blog

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Kimizuki: when I buy a car I’m gonna get a punch buggy

Yoichi: aww that’s so cute-

Kimizuki: that way I can be satisfied knowing I’m making people punch each other repeatedly wherever I go

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ferid: any last words

yuu: ….yeah…

ferid:

yuu: alexa play africa by toto

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Cishet girls in this fandom have gotta earn my trust I'm sorry but it just be like that sometimes :/