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Paalam

I will now be closing this chapter of my life.

5 years na ang nakalipas at napatunayan ko na we are not the same person 5 years ago. It is like looking back at someone I barely knew. All I can see in this blog is death.. and now I realized that meds do work. I thought nothing is barely changing, but I can’t even recognize my own words 5 years ago. I plan to delete the contents and make something new. But habang binabasa ko ang mga dati kong blog, I can see myself 5 years ago, crying while typing those words, ayokong ipagsawalang bahala ang mga napagdaanan niya. Kung hindi niya nalagpasan ang phase na yon, wala din ako ngayon dito. It will now only be a memory of her strength. I wish I can say this to my past self but it doesn’t work that way..

We made it. The journey is tough but because of you, I am okay now. Yes, those bad days will pass, rain will pour hard but it will make you 10 times tough that even a hurricane can’t knock you down. School is over, no more worrying about that, you used to be afraid to be alone, pero alam mo? In the last years you actually prefer it now even though you’re always invited to go out. Tanda mo nung bumagsak ka? Alam mo after that dos na mga pinaka mababa mo. You just have to believe in yourself. Tanda mo nung akala mo you’re not good at what you considered your talent? Alam mo you got 1st placer in a band competition 1 year prior to your last blog here. Tanda mo ba yung mga prof na ayaw mo makita noon? Well, never mo na sila makikita ngayon. This year you will be going to hawaii na, you’ll have a license and do whatever you want to do. I’m glad we made it, thanks to you. Always remember, no one constantly ever remembers what you did 5 years ago, like you don’t always recall what others did years ago. So stop worrying now and eventually you’ll learn how to chill. Cheers to us. 

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You will never understand.

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Bakit mo sinabi sa akin lahat ng magaganda at mabubulaklak na salita para lang sirain ang paniniwala ko dito?

Why promise? Why say you can't imagine a life without me and all those promising words? Just what? Para tanggalin sa akin ang bisa ng katotohanan sa mga salitang ito?

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Gusto na kitang mahalin.

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FOUND HIM!

Me: Edi turn off kana kasi d ako marunong magluto?

Him: Pagluluto kita. Kung ayaw mo naman ng luto ko, kakain tayo sa labas kung kinakailangan.

Wag ka lang mawala saken.

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Sometimes you just get tired and hope that someone won’t get tired of you.

juanlucio  (via wnq-writers)

Hoping you won't. Although you will, eventually

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Ang sabi mo hindi mo ako sasaktan, pero bakit mo ako sinasaktan?

Isa sa mga pangakong kailanma'y hindi natutupad.

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Hindi masakit magmahal, pero bakit ang sakit?

Sabi mo ako ay sinungaling

Manloloko at hindi seryoso

Sabi mo pa wag kita paglaruan

Dahil iyon ay masakit

Masakit isipin

Na lahat ng iyong sinabi

Ay hindi totoo

Pawang panglito

Panglito sa isip at puso

Na isipin palang ay masakit na

Pano nalang pag ginawa mo na?

Hindi paano ngunit bakit dahil tapos na,

Nagawa mo na

Nagawa mo ng sirain ang aking tiwala

Ang mga pangako na wala man lang natupad

Ang aking natanggap ay pawang panunumbat

Puro masasakit na salita

Salita ka ng salita

Paulit ulit akong sinisisi

Sinta, una't huling beses

Na sinta sayo'y aking itatawag

Tawagin niyo na akong tanga

Dahil ako'y sumubok pang muli

Hindi masakit magmahal pero, bakit ang sakit?

Bakit ang sakit mong mahalin?

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Hindi ka mahal non, panlandi ka lang.

Me to myself

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Worst feeling? Yung alam mong niloloko ka na, pero hinahayaan mo nalang.

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Mahirap makipaglaban sa ex 😊

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Wah, Lord, please ilayo niyo po ako sa mga malalandi jusko po.

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🌆

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Minsan..

hindi ka naman nasasaktan kasi may feelings ka sa kanya. Hindi porket nasasaktan ka, mahal mo na. Masakit lang talaga maloko.

Kahit naman sinong taong lokohin ka diba masakit? Kahit na hindi mo mahal, kahit stranger lang. Masakit kasi yung ginawa.

Minsan mapapaisip ka nalang kung deserve mo ba to. Mapapatanong ka nalang kung "kaloko-loko ba ako?"

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She’s known sadness, and it has made her kind.

Nathan Filer, The Shock of the Fall (via wordsnquotes)

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