well-met-and-good-day-to-you-sir

[well-met-and-good-day-to-you-sir]

Young pipsqueak: where were you last night, Hecate???

Hiccup: *palms sweating* um, i, i was at a party? smoking crack...

Pip: don't lie you fucking nerd, you snuck into the restricted section of the library, ANd yoU diDn't invite ME!

[well-met-and-good-day-to-you-sir]

Pippa: A mosquito tried to bite me and I slapped it and killed it.

Pippa: And I started thinking.

Pippa: Like, it was just trying to get food.

Pippa: What if I went to the fridge and it just slammed the door shut and snapped my neck?

Hecate: Are you ok?

[well-met-and-good-day-to-you-sir]

Ada: That sounds super! Doesn’t that sound super, Hecate? Hecate: No. Ada: I think I speak for Hecate when I say it sounds really super.

[well-met-and-good-day-to-you-sir]

Mildred, about HB: its a surprise, she's sleeping in a bed

Maud: what did you expect?

Enid: I don't know, a coffin maybe

[well-met-and-good-day-to-you-sir]

Pippa: this year for hallowe'en, i got the bats that are smiling. It's more realistic.

Hecate: why is it more realistic?

Pippa: cause they're happy! It's their favorite holiday!

[well-met-and-good-day-to-you-sir]

Mildred rollerblading into HB's office with sunglasses and koolaid: HB you're not gonna fucking believe this,

[well-met-and-good-day-to-you-sir]

Hecate: Obviously you made a number of incredibly bad decisions as well, but for he tiny fraction of the blame that falls on me, I am apologetic.

Pippa: thank you. I know that was really, really hard for you to say.

Hecate: It was.

[well-met-and-good-day-to-you-sir]

Mildred: do you remember that time with the magic flaming sword of obliteration and-

Enid: we don’t talk about that, Mildred.

Miss Hardbroom: *from across the room* I’m sorry, the what?!

[well-met-and-good-day-to-you-sir]

[well-met-and-good-day-to-you-sir]

Mildred: I have good news and bad news...

Hecate: Good news first

Mildred: I won't do it again. I think...

[well-met-and-good-day-to-you-sir]

Pippa: once i saw someone write "lgtb" instead of "lgbt" and it confused me, but now i love it because its the perfect acronym to "let's guillotine the bourgeoisie"

Dimity: Lets get this bread

Hecate: Bread is exactly what the french wanted when they guillotined the bourgeoisie.

[well-met-and-good-day-to-you-sir]

Pippa (who may or may not be drunk): My wife *slaps hecate's shoulder* is the most precious person on this fucking planet and I will personally throw hands with anyone who disagrees.

Hecate (also drunk): *trying to figure out who pippa's wife is*

[well-met-and-good-day-to-you-sir]

Agatha: We have your girlfriend.

Hecate: I don't have a girlfriend...

Agatha: She made us reevaluate all of our life choices and now we feel really bad so can you come pick her up?

Hecate: Oh my god, you have Pippa!

Miss Gullet from a distance: I am going to become a painter

[well-met-and-good-day-to-you-sir]

Mildred, jumping out of a closet: BOO!

HB:

Mildred:

HB:

Mildred: :(

HB: ahh. you scared me.

[well-met-and-good-day-to-you-sir]

Pippa: How do feel about pet names?

Hecate: ಠ_ಠ ... Well you have to call them something.

Pippa:

Pippa: Hecate

[well-met-and-good-day-to-you-sir]

Mildred: Hey, why don't we all go to haunted castle for our halloween trip this year?

HB: And what's wrong with the one we live in?

Mildred: what

HB: *walks away*

[well-met-and-good-day-to-you-sir]

Ethel, stomping up to Hecate's desk when she gets a bad essay mark: According to my research, you're a bitch

Hecate: (doesn't even look up) Any Citations?

Ethel: What?

Hecate: i said, do you have any fucking citations to support that claim. MLA format only, please.