wetdickwill

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happy pride to the boyfriend who looks like a girlfriend that mr the killers had in February of last year

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my humor might be broken cause I find this trend actually funny

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retail workers are allowed to kill themselves in front of customers without warning

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My mom kept complaining that all of a sudden the Beatles are back and they're fucking everywhere and they're so obnoxious and were practically having an orgy in her garden under a cucumber leaf and that's when I realized she meant spotted cucumber beetles and not Paul McCartney

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people in books and tv shows are always getting so upset they throw an untouched meal in the trash. that would never be me. i'd receive the worst news of my life and still be like Let me put this in the fridge.

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being horny is cringe. its different when its me tho. im horny with nuance

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Just jerked my shit during lunch break 😊

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