wh3nd01want1t - Tumblr blog

[wh3nd01want1t]

BRO IS THAT PINKIE PIE BACKPACK???????? WTH BRO??????????????

[wh3nd01want1t]

im fine

most of the time

a good chunk of the time

but he doesn't want to

and it makes me question everything

my self worth

if i should relapse cutting

if i should startve myself again

if im pretty enough

if im doing enough for him

if im clean enough

if i encourage him enough

if i love him enough

if he loves me enough

if he's losing interest in me

he keeps saying that it's not my fault,

but it's hard to believe when things aren't really getting better

i can't force him to

and i can't force myself not to want to

i feel like the loser

it makes me want to cut so badly

but he'll get mad

sometimes I think that not cutting isn't worth it anymore. like, who cares, anyway.

the longer I go without it, it doesn't feel like I'm gaining anything from it, or moving closer to winning anything. what's the point of not doing it?

"your body is a temple given to you by God"

there are other things damaging it more than me slicing up my hips, I think.... but you do make me feel guilty for it.

then, should I avoid anything that could possibly harm my body?

is working out and making myself sore harming my body? don't you need rain for the flowers to grow? don't you have to go through trials and tribulations to find God?

it's really hard to see the point anymore. when i am like this. the point of taking care of myself is as abstract as life. when life is good, live. when life is bad, hide, die, dwindle.

too much black and white. or not enough. too much gray, definitely. i can't please anyone ever and it evidently tears me up.

someone please hear me

[wh3nd01want1t]

[wh3nd01want1t]

Of course... I do love you. Isn't that how you've made me?

[wh3nd01want1t]

Ame chan!!!! ;333333333

[wh3nd01want1t]

[wh3nd01want1t]

How to stop desperately yearning for someone to understand me, no glue no borax

[wh3nd01want1t]

pinkypop______ on instagram

[wh3nd01want1t]

[wh3nd01want1t]

[wh3nd01want1t]

[wh3nd01want1t]

i can't freaking do anything

im really useless

but im too useful to go on disability

oh the shame I bring to everyone in my life

by trying

but if i stop trying, i will be looked down upon

wasted potential

when in reality i just want to take care of myself

and make something of myself with the little that i can bear

im going to be a disappointment either way

if i work or if i dont

if im present or if im not

if im alive or if im not

if i try or if i dont

if i care or if i dont

[wh3nd01want1t]

[wh3nd01want1t]

Don't try to wake me up

Even if the sun really does come out tomorrow

Don't believe anything you say

Anymore, anymore, in the morning

Bricks to this old house are breaking

Steel would have weathered, but now forlorning

It's alarming how loud the silence screams

No warn, no warn, no warning

Addictions fill the table where the family used to sit

And conversate, conversate to the sounds

To the sounds of a record player

With it's jumping needle and the lights that grow dim over time

With downcast eyes

There's more to living than being alive

With downcast eyes

There's more to living than being alive

Are you where you want to be?

So beautiful and only twenty-three

Opposition rests in the hearts

With no, with no, with no opportunity

It's not that we don't talk

It's just no one really listens and honesty fades

Like a politician lost in the course

All smiles and no one remembers our names

With downcast eyes

There's more to living than being alive

With downcast eyes

There's more to living than being alive

With downcast eyes

There's more to living than being alive

With downcast eyes

There's more to living than being alive

Don't try to wake me up

Even if the sun really does come out tomorrow

Don't believe anything I say

Anymore, anymore, in the morning

With downcast eyes

There's more to living than being alive

With downcast eyes

There's more to living than being alive

With downcast eyes

There's more to living than being alive

With downcast eyes

There's more to living than being alive

[wh3nd01want1t]

♡ ≽^ɞ̴̶̷ ̫ ɞ̴̶̷^≼

[wh3nd01want1t]

but, i am afraid to ask

i cannot speak

why do i try

try to think?

this is embarrassing.