what-if-i-was-a-book

[what-if-i-was-a-book]

haunted

[what-if-i-was-a-book]

xie lian. you agree. reblog.

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fuck it, reblog to give the person you rb'ed this from a freshly baked buttery croissant.

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Reblog to give prev the power to write their fanfiction

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emotional support for calamities!

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I am so freaking lucky my first venture into bl was the MXTX books because back then I used to go in blind, that is, I started the books without reading any reviews

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it’s the “date of birth: 1303 BC” for me...

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Shen Yuan suffering actual consequences of Qiu Haitang revealing to fucking everyone that Shen Jiu was a slave.

Lords and ladies starting to look at him with badly disguised disgust. Some of the other peak lords coming with barbed comments. Someone questioning if he even was legally allowed to be a peak lord, if he's a runaway, not even a freed slave. Still property. Less than human.

Others looking at him with pity, telling him it must've been hard, he's certainly done something amazing, going from being less than nothing to the Qing Jing Peak Lord, in an inspiration porn way.

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yin hanjiang: venerable, would you love this subordinate if he were a worm?

wenren e: given the high improbability and ridiculous nature of that scenario, i'll need at least a few days to consider all factors at play and come up with a satisfactory answer

yin hanjiang: it's just as i thought, your feelings for me were but a sweet dream induced by my inner demons

wenren e: i literally have my dick inside of you right now

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Fully grown Qiong Ding Head Disciple Luo Binghe (from the timeline where Shen Jiu didn't attend those disciple selections + has a better overall set of relationships with the other peak lords) unearths some old documents that establish that in the past, actually, the Qiong Ding and Qing Jing peak lords would be expected to marry. Either legitimately or just ceremonially, as a sort of representation of commitment to the sect as a family above all other things.

The practice fell out of favor a few generations ago, but Luo Binghe is hellbent on getting it back into play. Not because he gives a shit about qijiu (he's on decently-good terms with YQY but SQQ still kind of wants to kick him off the top of the highest peak) but because if he can get the practice restored now, he's all set for eventually getting Qing Jing Peak's current head disciple, Shen Yuan, to marry him when the old generation ascends and finally hands over the sect.

He's playing the long game.

[what-if-i-was-a-book]

rpf's top ten tips to getting a man?

Lock in

Know the itinerary of all events he will or may appear at. Scour all known preparations ahead of time. Get in talks with the kitchen staff. Memorize the guard rotations, and failing that write them down somewhere and sneak in your cheat sheet

Know his weaknesses. Find and process all publicly and semipublicly available information about him. This includes the erotica probably. You never know what kind of insights that kind of indepth analysis can have

Remember what this is all for

Men love material wealth. Bigger sleeves. No bigger than that

If you have high enough cultivation you can hide in physically strenuous positions for longer periods of time. Make sure your goons are up on this also, so you have backup support and extraction

Extra cultivation practice to maintain your big sleeves

Practice swordflight for both speed and agility. This is important to maximize your opportunities

Give up on big sleeves, have a big shawl

Extra cultivation practice to maintain your big shawl

[what-if-i-was-a-book]

Fully grown Qiong Ding Head Disciple Luo Binghe (from the timeline where Shen Jiu didn't attend those disciple selections + has a better overall set of relationships with the other peak lords) unearths some old documents that establish that in the past, actually, the Qiong Ding and Qing Jing peak lords would be expected to marry. Either legitimately or just ceremonially, as a sort of representation of commitment to the sect as a family above all other things.

The practice fell out of favor a few generations ago, but Luo Binghe is hellbent on getting it back into play. Not because he gives a shit about qijiu (he's on decently-good terms with YQY but SQQ still kind of wants to kick him off the top of the highest peak) but because if he can get the practice restored now, he's all set for eventually getting Qing Jing Peak's current head disciple, Shen Yuan, to marry him when the old generation ascends and finally hands over the sect.

He's playing the long game.

[what-if-i-was-a-book]

Cheers for being aware enough about my insecurity to know I'm never going to get married because why on earth would I subject myself and another person to that kind of torture when I can at least spare that other person from it

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In case anyone is having a bad night

(The best of this post and its reblogs, but with links that work)

Here is a website where you can scroll down to all the different levels of the ocean 

Here is a website where you can see the future of the universe

Here is a website where you can press a ‘make everything okay’ button, over and over, until things really are okay

Here is a website that you can read if you feel like a burden

Here is a website where you can look at strobe illusions (TW strobe/flashing)

Here is a website where you can cut stuff up (TW blood/sh)

Here and here are websites where you can play with sand

Here is a website where you can draw with macaroni and other fun foods

Here is a website where you can paint someone’s nails

Here is a website where you can grow a garden with emojis

Here is a website with hundreds of videos of people hugging you (rightfully dubbed ‘the nicest place on the internet’ because it really is, y’all, it made me cry)

Here is a website that will take you to other useless websites

Here is a website where you can make a tiny cat play bongo drums (and other instruments!)

Here is a website to help give you gentle reminders <3

Here is a website where you can grow a tiny farm

Here is a website where you can take a bunch of scientific personality tests

Here is a website of calm rain noise

Take a breath. It’s going to be okay, I promise.

[what-if-i-was-a-book]

this is fred, the dot.

fred wants to grow into a beautiful tree, but sadly has no branches

reblog to give fred a branch

i will post fred status updates as he grows

[what-if-i-was-a-book]

day 246 of living up to my ideals of not working hard and taking it easy

[what-if-i-was-a-book]

fork

can u guys rb this n add how you crack your eggs in the tags? i thought cracking them in the sinks’s edge is universal until i saw my friend cracking an egg on the counter instead and it was so pervese and diabolical