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whatif-it-was-blog · 7 years ago

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Gravity | pt.3

Pairing: V (Kim Taehyung) X Reader

Genre: angst, slight fluff, bestfriend!au

Warnings: very mild cursing, suggestive, anxiety attacks, reader has general anxiety, sorry but it makes angst more angsty, unconfident reader, may be some triggers for those who get panic attacks

Words: 4,120

Notes: I honestly have no idea how this is going to end ... ~ MM

Gravity | pt.1, pt.2

... set me free, leave me be. I don’t want to fall another moment into your gravity ...

You slowly approached the door. Your heart pounded so loudly, you could hear it above the cars racing by on the street behind you. The elegant door looked more intimidating than ever, even though you had been here countless times before. It loomed above you like an ominous shadow, warning you to turn back.

“Maybe I shouldn’t do this,” you whispered, fists balled in the pockets of your jacket. The thought vanished when you remembered Seokjin would kill you if you turned back now. So, taking a deep breath, you raised your hand to knock on the door.

After a few moments, the door opened wide and your breath caught in your throat when you saw his grinning face. He didn’t say anything before dragging you inside of his family home. “Ah, I missed you!” he hugged you tightly.

“H-Hi, Taehyung,” you said weakly.

He frowned and looked into your tired eyes. “What’s wrong, Y/N?”

You bit the inside of your cheek and your tongue moved around, trying to find the right words to say.

Taehyung interrupted your thoughts. “Ah! I forgot I need your help with something!” He charged out of the living area and all the way to his bedroom, leaving you standing there, awkwardly. After a quick glimpse around the fancy room, you settled down on the plush couch. There were family pictures on every wall, and the many shelves were lined with expensive knick-knacks and prizes his parents had accumulated. You thought you had moved beyond the point of marveling at his family home, but the newfound tension you felt only reiterated the fact that you didn’t belong here.

“Here we go!” he came back with a face-splitting grin. Your heart skipped a beat from his innocent, bright smile. If only he could always smile like this and be so happy, he deserved it. Your attention was caught by the small black box in his hands.

“What’s this?” your voice cracked. You already knew the answer.

Wiggling his eyebrows, Taehyung opened the box, revealing a beautiful, braided ring that sparkled under the lights. The diamonds studding along the golden band were blinding – or maybe those were the tears in your eyes.

“It’s a promise ring,” he beamed. “Eunji was hinting that she wanted one, but it took me so long to choose the perfect one. What do you think? Does it suit her?” his nervous, rapid-fire questions weighed heavily on your heart, already nearly crushed from the burden Eunji had put upon it. “Yah, why are you crying?”

You touched your cheek and were surprised when your fingers came away wet. Of course, you had done nothing but cry since you found out this disgusting secret. Now, seeing how much Taehyung truly loved this girl that didn’t love him back in the slightest, everything inside of you crumbled. Ducking your head, you let yourself dissolve into your misery.

“Yah, Y/N-ah, what is it?” He gently grabbed your red face and tilted it up to his worried gaze. “What happened?”

“She …” you sobbed, unable to control yourself. “She doesn’t love you.”

His hands vanished and his warmth was replaced with an icy cold feeling. He took a step back, eyes looking through you as if you were glass. “What?”

“I … I saw her, behind the school,” you sniffled and mopped furiously at your cheeks and runny nose. “This guy and her … they were … She was cheating on you …”

He stood motionless, eyes now focused too much on your face. The hate in his gaze made your blood run cold. He fixed his jaw and clenched his fists. “No, you’re lying.”

“I’m sorry, Tae.”

“Shut up.”

You sucked in a wet gasp at his harsh tone. He had never snapped at you so sharply before and it sent a chill down your spine. You couldn’t understand why he didn’t believe you – you! You were his best friend! Did he really think you would so something like this to him? You would never hurt him so badly on purpose!

“Taehyung, please. I didn’t mean to hurt you –”

“I can’t believe you would make up something like this about my girlfriend! I thought you liked her, Y/N!”

“This isn’t about me liking her or not,” you argued. “I really saw it Taehyung! She even looked at me while she was doing it and she smiled! She didn’t care! I just don’t want you to get hurt by her, because you’re my best friend. Why won’t you believe me?”

“Wow,” he scoffed and shook his head. “I thought we were friends, Y/N, but then Eunji called me this morning and told me all those horrible things you’ve been saying about her and how you’ve been treating her.”

“What?” your eyes widened in shock. You hadn’t ever said anything offensive to Eunji. Where was this coming from? Then, you realized, Eunji lied because you saw her cheat and she wanted to cover all her bases. She planned ahead for this. “Taehyung, I never –”

“You know, I didn’t want to believe it, but now, I don’t know if I ever really knew you, because I never even knew you were a lying bitch!”

A small yelp escaped your mouth at his words and you stepped away from him. You felt anger bubbling in the pit of your stomach, but the pain in your chest shoved it down. You had never heard him say anything so hurtful to anyone, so the shock was even more horrible. “Wha – Taehyung …” you gasped.

He scowled at you from beneath his thick eyebrows, locking his jaw. “Why did you do it?”

“What?”

He grabbed your shoulders and shook you. “Why did you lie?!”

Finally, you were at your limit. You let out a grunt and pushed him away from you. “Because I love you, you bastard!” The house went silent. You were breathing heavily through your angry tears, eyes too afraid to look up and see his expression. When you realized what you had said, you felt like you had been kicked in the stomach. But … you finally did it, and you couldn’t take it back. Covering your eyes with your shaking hands, you took a deep breath. “I love you, Taehyung …”

“Get out.”

Your head jerked up to look in his eyes. They were cold and unfeeling. “What?” you whispered.

“Get out,” Taehyung growled through his teeth. You shook your head, eyes wide and confused. You tried to gently touch his arm, but he slapped your hand away. “Don’t touch me!” he barked. “Just … Just get out.”

As if his trembling voice had cast a spell on your, your feet moved toward the door, every step heavier than the last. Your tears left a trail on the hardwood floor as they dripped down your chin. Slowly, the door creaked open. You paused when the sunlight hit your eyes, before turning to look over your shoulder at Taehyung. His shoulders were hunched and his hands covered his eyes.

You inhaled deeply. “Goodbye, Taehyung … I’m sorry.”

Heartbreak had never struck you so deeply before. You thought you knew what it felt like the moment Taehyung and Eunji announced their relationship, but this pain felt as if it would split you right down the middle. Like sharp claws had reached down your throat and were scraping the inside of your chest until every piece of your heart was ripped to shreds.

Hot tears burned against your face, the chilly night air freezing you right through your coat. You didn’t care that you were sobbing in the streets, people turning to stare at you as you staggered home on your weak legs. You couldn’t care, everything hurt too much to even think about it.

How could he not believe you? You two were best friends since primary school, and you had never lied to him in all your years of friendship. Now, everything was completely broken and it couldn’t ever be fixed again. You lost the love of your life and your best friend just because you tried to protect him.

When you made it home, you ignored the worried questions the Jeon family shot at you and ran straight to your room, locked the door, and cried yourself to sleep.

You suffered for two whole months after Taehyung and you had separated. Everything was tense and awkward in the classroom now, and it was only made worse whenever Eunji would turn and smirk at you. It killed you that she was free to toy around with Taehyung and you could do nothing about it. Jeongguk and Seokjin were less than pleased with what Taehyung had done, and each of them threatened to confront him. Seokjin was ready for a serious tongue-lashing, and Jeongguk was already out the door to knock his teeth out before you had pulled him back in.

Your dongsaeng came to drop you off and pick you up from class every day, and every day you were terrified of what he would do to Taehyung. The latter only ignored the two of you, a foul look permanently plastered on his face.

Once graduation finally came, you decided to skip. Auntie Jeon offered to send you to Busan early so that you could get comfortable with the city before the school year started. You agreed, and the day after graduation, you were on the train, leaving behind your hurt and pain in Seoul.

As you relaxed on the train, you felt your phone vibrate in your lap. You lazily lifted the screen, expecting it to be Seokjin calling you one last time to wail in your ear and tell you how much he would miss you. You nearly dropped your phone when you saw the caller ID: Taehyungie🌚💙 . Wide eyes watched the screen and your hands shook with the harsh vibrations, but you didn’t answer it. You didn’t want to hear his voice again or even see his name, so, without a second thought, you pressed the end-call button and hastily deleted his number. A rush of guilt and relief washed over you. Another call came in: Unknown Number.

He continued to call and text you for a few days after you arrived and you decided to change your cell phone number, but not before you received one last text: I’m so sorry. please answer me. I need you

You didn’t want an apology, it was too late for that. He had every chance to say he was sorry for two whole months and did nothing. You weren’t going to let him off this time, so you changed your number and it was as if he never existed. All of him was gone, and you were free.

You were finally free from him and the pain … or so you thought.

“Aigoo, my little Y/N!”

All of the air was knocked out of your lungs when Auntie Jeon hugged you as tight as she could. You were hardly through the door before she attacked you, making you drop both of your bags in an attempt to steady yourself. You smiled wide and returned the embrace, making her hum in delight.

“We all missed you so much,” she said as she gave you a hard squeeze and pulled you inside.

“I saw you three months ago,” you laughed as you reached for your bag, but someone grabbed it for you. You smiled thankfully at the redheaded man who waited patiently behind you.

“I know, but it still feels like so long! I mean, seven years without you being home with us has been so hard,” she pushed you onto the couch and ran to hug the redhead. “And it is so nice to see you as well, Hoseok!”

Hoseok smiled wide and rubbed her back. “Aw, I missed you too, Auntie!” he exclaimed.

Your other friends were rushed into the house by your “brothers”. Jeongguk had his arm around Jimin’s shoulders and dragged him along like a dog. Yoongi was forced in, Seokjin entrapping him in a hug that he obviously didn’t want. He looked ready to slap his hyung.

“Yoongi, Jimin,” Auntie Jeon welcomed them graciously. “It’s been too long since you all came to visit. The boys and I have missed you so much.”

Jimin smiled shyly. “We missed all of you too. We were really excited when Y/N said Yoongi-Hyung and I could come along to visit; We wouldn’t miss an opportunity to eat your cooking again.”

Hoseok sat beside you on the couch and slung his arm around your shoulders. You smiled and snuggled against him. For a moment, you were able to relax, before Jeongguk’s body slammed into you and wrapped you up in his arms.

“You feel softer than before,” he laughed. “It feels good.”

“Hey! Are you calling me fat?” you smacked his head and tried to kick him off. He laughed and only held tighter. Hoseok laughed brightly and pulled you away from Jeongguk and into his lap.

He squeezed your sides and you squealed. “No, you’re just as soft as ever.” You smacked him too.

“So how long has it been now since you two started dating?” Auntie Jeon asked.

Your cheeks turned bright red when Hoseok beamed brightly and proudly announced, “Two months.”

“And you’re already so close,” Auntie Jeon cooed. “You two are so wonderful together!”

“I know,” you smiled. Hoseok chuckled and kissed your cheek.

“How long are you planning to stay in Seoul this time, Y/N?” Seokjin asked with a cheeky grin.

You knew he already knew the answer but decided to humor him. “Well, considering my job transferred me to the Seoul branch, maybe … forever?”

“I love hearing that!” he grinned wide.

“Is anyone hungry?” Auntie Jeon interrupted. Yoongi and Jeongguk hopped up from their seats and scuttled into the kitchen. You patted Hoseok’s hand that rested on your arm. He took the hint and stood up with you. The smell of kimchi jjigae teased your nose and made your mouth water.

Seokjin stopped you before you could join the others at the kitchen table. “I need to talk to you,” he whispered close to your ear. A feeling of concern radiated from his gaze. Nodding sharply, you let him lead you into your old room. Auntie Jeon kept it as a guest room for you whenever you chose to come home. When your friends came with you, the three of them stayed in Seokjin and Jeongguk’s rooms, or on the sofa if the rooms smelled too much like “boy”.

You softly closed the door while Jin took a seat on your bed. He patted the spot beside him, signaling you to take a seat. You complied.

“What’s up?” you asked innocently.

“Y/N,” he sighed, seeming unsure if he should continue. “You know Taehyung came back, right?”

That caught you off-guard. None of you had mentioned Taehyung for four years when he had moved to a different city to open a new branch for his father’s produce company. His absence had been a deciding factor in your deciding to take the Seoul job at your work. What perfect timing for the two of you to move back home at the same time.

“Are you serious?”

Seokjin licked his lips. “I ran into him a few days ago. He told me his father had hired another president for his branch and asked him to come back to Seoul.”

“Why didn’t you tell me?” you demanded.

“He … asked me not to.”

“Seokjin!” you cried. “Why did you listen to him? Are you insane?”

“Y/N –”

“Jinnie ~” you whined pitifully. “You should have told me.”

“I know, I know, but, Y/N, he’s changed.”

“‘Changed’? Are you saying you’ve forgiven him for what he did to me?”

He made a face. “Of course, I haven’t, but I think you should try to. He’s really truly different now.”

“I don’t care if he’s different,” your voice cracked as you covered your face in stress. “I can’t forgive him for what he did. I’ll never see him as anything but the man who chased me out of his house that night.”

Seokjin was silent for a few moments. The only sounds in the room were your heavy breaths as you tried to calm yourself down. Of course, you had thought about meeting with Taehyung again, but a part of you believed he would stay at his company’s branch forever. It seemed unthinkable that he would come back after being gifted his own company.

“I wanted to ask you what you think you will do if you see him?”

Your eyes snapped up when his quiet voice floated through the room.

“I honestly have no idea,” you confessed.

Seokjin sighed, his broad shoulders slumping downward. “Well, I’d advise you to think about it. And, I think you need to let Hoseok know.”

As if on cue, a knock at the door startled the both of you. “Jagiya,” Hoseok asked through the wood. “Is everything okay?”

“I don’t know.”

The crisp autumn air was the perfect weather for a date. Hoseok was eager to have a day out in Seoul and you acquiesced, your heart fluttering at the big smile that graced his handsome face when you did. He planned out the entire day and was more than ecstatic when your first day-off from work rolled around.

Here you were, bundled up in Hoseok’s fluffy scarf and your fleece coat. Hoseok asked you to give him a “walking tour” around the city, while the other two boys hung around with Jeongguk, who was also lucky enough to have a day off. Even though he had been to Seoul many times before, you were happy to indulge him. You could not help but grin at Hoseok’s sweet antics and affectionate touches while you wandered. He made sure his hand was always touching you, whether it be resting your hips, slung around your shoulders or just holding your hand. It made you feel warm and fuzzy and exceptionally giddy. Hoseok was a pro at making you feel loved and wanted. Ever since you had met at university, he couldn’t take it when you felt lonely or sad and was always there to cheer you up. Eventually, this affection led to romantic feelings developing between the two of you.

During your first year of university, you were feeling a little out of place and scared of the huge campus, no to mention you were still crushed over Taehyung’s rejection. You were eating all by yourself in the cafeteria when a man with red hair and a brilliant smile joined you. His father was your literature professor, and he had forced Hoseok – who was two years above you – to sit in on his class one day when the son had skipped his own classes. He saw you sitting alone, and noticed that it wasn’t only during class when you were by yourself, so he took it upon himself to be your friend. At first, you thought it was a little strange and annoying when he would follow you everywhere, but he began to grow on you. Then, you were introduced to Yoongi and Jimin and the four of you became inseparable.

Hoseok was very patient with you whenever you cried over or vented about Taehyung. He would rub your back and comfort you, telling you how much of a jerk he was for treating you that way. He became almost a replacement for your brotherly relationship with Seokjin, but quickly became more. The first time you had brought the boys home to Seoul on break, your whole family fell in love with them and gave them all permission to come back anytime – even if it was without you.

Of course, it was a little difficult for Seokjin to warm up to you being so close to Hoseok, when he first saw him comfort you during a particularly intense panic attack, he was sold – In his eyes, you two were going to get married.

As you strolled by the Han River, Hoseok was telling you all about the funny things the young students at his dance studio said and did during his classes. In the middle of laughing, you felt your heart suddenly drop into your stomach. You were sure you had just seen Taehyung walk by you. The tall man had silver hair, tan skin and … looked like he was still in high school. It wasn’t him.

“Are you feeling alright?” Hoseok asked, noticing your pale face.

You took a deep breath and nodded. “I just … I just got winded from laughing so hard.”

He chuckled, unsure if you were being serious or just making a joke on his behalf. Little did he know, you had just basically had a heart attack and it was caused by thinking you had seen your first love. A lump of guilt seemed to clog your throat, making it hard to swallow, much less listen to Hoseok’s story. Was being in love with another technically cheating on your boyfriend? You would never want to hurt Hoseok, but you just couldn’t get Taehyung out of your head.

“Who are you looking for?”

You gasped when Hoseok leaned down and whispered into your ear. He gave you a lopsided grin. You laughed breathlessly, tucking a stray lock of h/c hair behind your red ear. “No one,” you lied.

“Hmm ~” Hoseok pursed his lips, making his cheeks puff out. “Don’t lie to me, Y/N.”

“I’m not!”

“You’re looking for him, aren’t you?”

His question stopped you in your tracks. Even if you didn’t give him an immediate answer, he could see the answer in your guilty eyes. You squeezed his hand tightly, scared he would let go of yours.

“I’m sorry,” you cast your eyes downward.

“Y/N ~” he cooed, grabbing your chin and making you look up. To your surprise, he was smiling down at you. “Don’t be sorry. He was your first love, right?” You nodded. “That’s a hard thing to forget. I don’t mind if you don’t forget him, but remember that I won’t forgive him if he tries to steal you away from me.”

His grin was infectious, especially when he planted a soft kiss on your flushed nose. “Don’t worry; you’re my jagiya ~” You stood up on your tip-toes and returned his kiss to his own nose. He giggled and pulled you close.

You sighed in his embrace. Only when Hoseok hugged you did you forget about Taehyung and finally feel needed in a way the latter never made you feel. It almost confirmed that you needed to be with Hoseok … almost. You weren’t sure if you really loved him yet – who could know after two months of dating, really, but you had been friends for seven years! Shouldn’t you know by now?

“Brrr! You’re shivering!” Hoseok rubbed your arms to try and bring warmth back to you. “Want some coffee?”

Your eyes lit up. “Is that even a question?”

He snickered. “Of course, silly me.”

You found the nearest coffee house and ordered. Once you had received your coffee, he asked if you wanted to check out the music store next door. You told him no, withholding the fact that you didn’t want to go because you had gone there before with Taehyung. Despite his protests, you told him to go to the store to find the album he had told you about so many times.

Begrudgingly, he agreed. You stayed near the coffee shop, sipping on the warm brew and looking out over the river. It had been so long, you were surprised you hadn’t forgotten what color the water was. It was a beautiful as you remembered.

Your reverie was disturbed when a hand softly touched your shoulder. “Y/N?”

You jumped in surprise at the deep voice, and, being the clumsy dope you were, your coffee spilled out of your hand at the harsh movement. It fell to the ground with a depressing thud! Great! Not only were you already sick with guilt, but now, you ruined the drink sweet Hoseok had bought for you – was someone punishing you? You spun, ready to confront whoever had spilled your beloved coffee.

A man stood behind you, dressed in a nice suit and pea coat and clutching a briefcase in the hand not resting on your shoulder. He had nicely styled, dark brown hair and was exceptionally handsome behind his round glasses. You cocked your head questioningly, about to ask if you knew him, then your eyes found the three moles – lip, nose, and eye …

Taehyung.

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whatif-it-was-blog · 7 years ago

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Gravity | pt. 2

Pairing: V (Kim Taehyung) X Reader

Genre: angst, slight fluff, bestfriend!au

Warnings: very mild cursing, suggestive, anxiety attacks, reader has general anxiety, sorry but it makes angst more angsty, unconfident reader, may be some triggers for those who get panic attacks

Words: 5,386

Notes: I don’t know how many parts this is going to be, but it’s getting a lot angstier, sorry :) ~ MM

Gravity | pt. 1, pt. 2

... I thought that I was strong, but you touch me for a little while, and all my fragile strength is gone ...

You went home fifteen minutes after the bell rung. You had been forced to come down from your attack on your own – as Jeongguk was too worried to be any help – and then rushed to the bathroom to straighten your makeup as you no doubt looked a sight. You were right. Mascara ran down your face and made streaks through your foundation. Your eyes were puffy and rimmed with red, making the e/c of your irises stand out. Sighing shakily, you withdrew your makeup bag and retouched your sorry face.

When you exited the bathroom, Jeongguk was leaning against the wall. He smiled sympathetically, but you saw the anger in his eyes. The Jeon brothers were practically family, and they proved it by being extremely protective of you, their “little sister” – even though Jeongguk was a year younger than you. He was obviously fuming at Taehyung’s response to your needing help, his nostrils flaring.

“That jerk,” he growled when he looked into your puffy eyes. “I think his brain is in his pants now.”

You sniffed and giggled weakly. “I’m okay, Jeongguk-ah. I just over-reacted is all. Besides, I am a big girl.” He hissed through his teeth when you repeated Taehyung’s words. “Let’s go, Seokjin’s probably worried sick by now.”

Movie night went just as horribly as you expected. Auntie Jeon always went to dinner with her friends to give you some privacy on these special “friends only” nights, so the Jeon brothers and you were home alone and trying to pick out a film to watch. As usual, Jeongguk wanted superheroes, Seokjin wanted rom-com, and you were pretty indifferent about it all. Unfortunately, the two competitive, headstrong brothers were not that into compromising. You were in the middle of tearing Jeongguk off of Seokjin – the elder had somehow offended “the sacred name of Robert Downy. Jr” – when the doorbell rang. Your heart went straight to your throat.

This was the moment of truth.

Even though you knew who waited outside, you still felt the need to look through the peephole. You recoiled back when you saw the two of them standing outside, lips locked and limbs tangled around each other. Tears sprang to the corner of your eyes. God really did like messing with you.

With shaking hands, you unlocked the door and was met with the image of them quickly separating, lipstick smeared on Taehyung’s mouth and chin. Eunji cleared her throat and straightened out the short dress she was wearing. She looked like she was going to a party, not hanging out with a bunch of lazy kids in their pajamas.

Her big eyes scanned you up and down, scrutinizing the pair of Seokjin’s sweatpants you wore and Taehyung’s stolen, worn-out t-shirt, a penguin dressed like a ninja spread across the front. He bought it years before on an overseas trip because the speech bubble coming from the penguin’s mouth said, “Chillin’ Like a Nin-guin,” and he found it hilarious for some reason. You wore it on purpose because having his clothes on gave you a little sense of superiority. But, you shrank back to your level when her expertly made-up eyes met with your own naked face.

“Oh, I didn’t realize it was going to be so casual,” she tittered, before squealing, “TaeTae, you should have told me! Now I look like a fool!”

He chuckled, giving her that cursed, lovey-dovey look once more. “Please, you’re the prettiest no matter where you go.”

Moving quick, you turned on your heel and brushed away the tears threatening to make themselves known. “C-come on in,” you said breathlessly. Out of the corner of your eye, you noticed Seokjin’s sympathetic gaze and jerked your head away. You didn’t need to see those pitying eyes.

“What are we watching?” Taehyung asked, waltzing in and throwing himself quite unceremoniously onto the large couch. Eunji stepped in and slipped off her high heels. She passed by the two brothers – who were still wrestling –without even a greeting and claimed her space next to Taehyung, pressing herself up against his arm. You sighed and went into the kitchen to fetch the popcorn.

“We’re watching Iron Man!” Jeongguk shouted. Seokjin protested, but you heard Jeongguk hit him with the DVD case.

“TaeTae,” Eunji whispered – well, she tried to act like she was whispering, but it was loud enough for you to hear it from the kitchen. “You promised me it wasn’t going to be a ‘guy’ movie.” You could hear the pout on her lips and rolled your eyes.

“Yeah, guys, we’ve watched the Iron Man movies ten times each just this year. Do you think we could watch something else for once?” Your eyes widened when you heard Taehyung’s protest. He loved Marvel movies almost as much as Jeongguk! Every Halloween, you all dressed up as the Avengers, and Taehyung was always the happiest Captain America you ever saw. He would never dream of refusing the franchise films before, so why did he suddenly change?

Jeongguk scoffed in disbelief. “Uh, hello, who are you? Where did my Hyung go?”

“Well, since Eunji’s here, I thought we could watch something a girl might enjoy more than superheroes.”

“Earth to Taehyung,” you interjected as you re-entered the living room. “I’m a girl, and I’d love nothing more than to see superheroes kick ass.”

“Yeah, but you’re you, Y/N,” he shrugged his shoulders. “There’s a difference.”

Normally, you didn’t mind being treated like one of the guys, but that comment cut you deep. You had never even been a woman in his eyes, much less a potential girlfriend. For a moment, you thought you saw a sly smirk on Eunji’s face, but it must have been your imagination.

To everyone’s chagrin, Eunji and Taehyung had ended up choosing the movie: A chick-flick, mushier and more tragic than Titanic. It was terrible – like hell you would admit to anyone that you and Seokjin had secretly cried in each other’s arms.

You would take that to your grave.

Eunji and Taehyung were pressed so tightly together by the end that you doubted they could be pulled apart. Her head rested heavily against Taehyung’s shoulder as she whispered something in his ear, making him giggle. Her long, bare legs were laid over his lap, her toes nearly brushing up against Jeongguk, who had never looked so annoyed and embarrassed in his entire life. He pressed himself up against the arm of the couch, jaw clenched and dark eyes narrowed.

You groaned quietly when Eunji curled his hair around her finger, and rolled your head back, leaning further against Seokjin, who was already supporting all your weight. “Yah, Y/N-ah, that arm’s falling asleep,” he whined.

You placed your chin on his shoulder and pouted. You needed someone to cuddle you through your despair, and Jeongguk’s muscles were too hard to be comfortable. Seokjin looked into your pleading e/c eyes and his handsome face split into an enchanting grin.

“Aigoo, you’re going to be the death of me.” He suddenly pulled you fully into his lap and held you tight around your middle, making you squeal as you forgot your troubles. His ticklish touches seemed to draw the sadness right out of your body, replacing it with warmth. “I’m an old man, so you had better thank me,” he wiggled his eyebrows.

Giggling, you craned your neck to press a kiss against his cheek. “Seokjinnie-Oppa, goma woyo!” you cooed. Despite how awful – truly horrible – you were at aegyo, Seokjin always found his little sister adorable.

“Aigoo!” he gasped. His grip on you tightened. “My heart can’t take it!”

You laughed. His arms were always so comforting and strong, instantly bringing you into a state of security. As you snuggled further into his chest, you wondered why it couldn’t have been Seokjin. Why did you have to fall in love with Taehyung? Seokjin was thoughtful, sweet, handsome, a great cook, and had a horrible yet charming sense of humor. He was a perfect prince, but your heart had pulled you towards the silly alien. Granted, Taehyung and Seokjin were once very similar, but things had changed so much that you hardly remembered that time. You wondered for a moment what it would be like to fall in love with Seokjin but then had to swallow the bile creeping up in your throat at the thought of kissing a man who was practically your brother.

Jeongguk took out his phone and snapped a picture of the two you, muttering that you were gross, but his mother would be so happy to see you like this. You smiled up at him, but the smile faded when you saw Taehyung looking at you from the other couch. His large eyes were narrowed and dark and his jaw clenched tightly. You flinched at the sight, trying to think of what you did wrong. Were you being too loud for them to hear the movie?

Eunji hooked her finger underneath his chin and pulled his face back towards her, but his eyes stayed on yours as long as they could, before refocusing on her. A large smile split his face as she pecked his lips.

You groaned and Seokjin felt it against his chest. Curiously, he peered down at you curled up like a cat on his lap. He glanced up at the kissing couple and made a face. You saw his lip twitch, which meant he had a good idea. He looked at you, then pointedly at the fluffy pillows beside you, the couple, and then back to you. You instantly understood – pillow fights were a tradition after all.

As discreetly as possible, you tugged on the corner of the largest pillow. You sent Jeongguk a look and he nodded with a smirk. Reeling your arm back, you chucked the pillow as hard as you could. Three cheers sounded when it hit both of them just as they were leaning into a kiss.

“Yah!” Taehyung laughed and threw the pillow back at you in retaliation. You all laughed along, until Eunji stood, her face livid. You hadn’t seen the cup she was holding in the hand that wasn’t tangled in Taehyung’s hair, but you noticed the juice spilled down the front of her dress.

“Are you a child?” Her narrowed eyes locking onto yours, burning with fury. Everyone had shut up and watched Eunji with bated breath. “I can’t believe you did this, just look at me!” You cowered into Seokjin’s chest at the sudden scolding. His long fingers held tight to your arm to steady you. “It’s all down my dress! My favorite dress, that you just ruined! Taehyung, you said they were mature!” She turned her wrath on him.

He shifted awkwardly on the couch. “Eunji, it was a joke.”

“So, you’re taking her side?” She jabbed her finger at you. Seokjin held you closer when you flinched. You could feel his heart pounding furiously against your back. “My best dress is all sticky, and it’s going to stain now! Do you want your girlfriend to go out looking like a total mess?”

“Noona,” Jeongguk’s voice was small. “She didn’t mean any harm. We do this all the time.”

“You do?” she said sarcastically. “Well, then, we’ll leave you children to your silly games. Come on, Taehyung.” She huffed and tore her boyfriend off of the couch. His face was totally blank and his eyes wide as he stared up at her. Like a doll, he let her drag him toward the door, Eunji muttering, “Seriously, your friends are a mess!”

Taehyung furrowed his brows, looking as if he were about to retaliate. His shifty eyes drifted to each of your faces before he pressed his lips together and ducked his head. The door closed with a loud BANG!

The silence left behind was deafening. You could feel it ringing in your ears, like a small mosquito hovering just outside of your ear canal. Jeongguk and Seokjin were both quiet, something that rarely ever happened. You thought that Taehyung would stand up for you, and if not just you, for your group. You were all very protective of each other, and your friends would never let something like this slide. You were shocked that Taehyung had left without saying anything to Eunji about her outburst.

“What the hell was that?” Jeongguk scoffed. “It was a joke, and the spill was an accident! And who the hell does Hyung think he is that he lets his girl go off on Y/N like that? He’s been pissing me off ever since he met her.”

“I’m sure he’ll speak with her in private, Jeongguk,” Seokjin said quietly. His thumb was massaging your shoulder to calm and soothe you, but you still felt horrible.

You shouldn’t have done that, and you wouldn’t if you had known it would have made him leave. You just wanted to spend time together and have fun like you used to, you didn’t want to cause any harm. Also, why didn’t he feel the need to say something or stand up for you? Was he too good for you now? Would he leave you all for good now that you upset Eunji? If only you had the guts to talk to him about it. Why were you so afraid of your feelings if your friendship was falling apart anyway?

You felt a tear leaking from your eyes. Sniffling, you stood up and turned toward the hallway. Seokjin tried to pull you back down, but you were determined to be alone. Shaking, you ran to your room and shut the door just as loudly as Eunji had. Sobs wracked your body as you threw yourself onto your bed.

Jeongguk and Seokjin tried to coax you out of your room, but you drowned them out, and quickly cried yourself to sleep over Taehyung.

“I am so sorry about Eunji,” Taehyung was bowing before you and apologizing profusely. He had pinned you in the hall after school and forced you to listen to his explanation. Honestly, you didn’t want to hear it.

“I don’t really care,” you shrugged your shoulders and faked aloofness. “It didn’t bother me too much. I was more worried about what you were gonna get from her after you two left.”

His chuckled slyly and you wished you hadn’t have said anything. “Well, I talked to Eunji, and she … kinda apologized for what happened. She understood that our group is a little different than what she’s used to. She was expecting – you know – something like the party scene.”

“Yeah,” you awkwardly chuckled, “I guess we’re not really as fun as she expected.”

“Yah, don’t be like that,” He grinned slyly.

“What?”

“You’re tons of fun!”

“I know,” you beamed. “I’m hilarious. More fun than you.” You let your eyes drift to the floor and sighed. “And … I forgive Eunji. It wasn’t that big of a deal anyway.”

While you were berating yourself for your compliance, he wrapped his arms around you. You gasped when he tightened his grip way too much.

“Tae, I … can’t breathe …!” You wheezed.

“Ah, I know, I’m just too breathtaking,” he giggled and loosened his hold.

You rolled your eyes. “Oh, please, now you’re starting to sound like Seokjin.” He growled playfully and started furiously tickling your sides. You squealed. Gasping for air, you tried to fight against him, but he just chuckled maliciously and held you still. “T-Tae!” you yelped, laughing so hard tears gathered in your eyes.

“Take it back!” he ordered with a laugh.

“Never!”

“Then suffer!”

You roared with laughter, tears now running freely down your face. It wasn’t until you had fallen to your knees that he finally let you go. You sat there for a moment, catching your breath and wiping away the forced tears, and Taehyung just smirked at you.

“Do you admit defeat?” he winked. You nodded, still panting.

“What are you two doing?”

Taehyung stiffened when Eunji marched up to you two. Her eyebrows were drawn together and her lips in a deep frown. She stood with her hand on her hip and gave a dangerous look to her boyfriend.

His eyes shifted to you. “We were just having some fun,” he shrugged, helping you to your feet.

Eunji rolled her eyes so hard, you could almost hear it. “‘Just having fun’? Taehyung, you know I don’t like it when you act so close to other girls.”

You frowned at her. Who was she to tell Taehyung he couldn’t be friends with you?

“But, Jagiya, you know Y/N and I have been friends forever. Things like this are just natural for us,” he tried to explain.

“But, TaeTae ~” she pouted and clung to his arm. You almost groaned at the way she pressed her chest against him.

Taehyung gave you a pained look. “Look, Y/N, I’m sorry. I –”

“No, No, I get it,” you forced a stiff smile on your face. “I mean, we’re really close, so I can see why she’d feel a little uncomfortable.” You bowed to Eunji in apology. “I-I’ll leave you two alone.”

“Y/N, don’t go,” Taehyung tried to make you stop walking away, but you knew that if you did, you would just start crying again. “Just – Eunji let go for just a second. Y/N!”

You didn’t turn around because if you did, he’d see the heartbreak in your eyes.

The school year passed quickly, things remaining the same between Taehyung and you. Eunji had given him a stern talking-to about spending too much time with other girls, so, like the puppy he was, he obeyed, and you hadn’t spoken face-to-face since he tried to apologize.

Seokjin and Jeongguk kept you company whenever you were down, and you tried hard to placate them by acting happy, but your chest still felt empty. You had all attempted to contact Taehyung and asking him to hang out, but he mostly responded saying he was too busy, or Eunji didn’t want him to go.

One week, a special Vincent van Gogh exhibit was coming to the art museum, and you knew how much he loved his works. You invited him to go like you always used to, but he said he had to help out at his parents’ company that day. Even though you were disappointed, you decided to go on your own. As you rounded a corner of the museum, you saw him there, excitedly explaining your favorite painting to a bored Eunji. She had her arms folded over her chest and was huffing and puffing. That disappointed you more than the fact he had lied to you.

Your heart ached at the scene, and how you wished you were the one beside him. You would never turn up your nose at Van Gogh’s Sunflowers. Sighing, you turned away and made your way out, no longer feeling up to the exhibit.

When you returned home, Auntie Jeon was sitting at the table with a fat envelope in her hands. Both of the boys stood beside her, looking nervous.

“I’m home,” you said awkwardly. “What’s that?”

She took a deep breath before looking into your eyes. “It’s a letter from the University.”

Your heart pounded in your chest. Months before, you had applied at a college back home in Busan and had been waiting with bated breath. You had thought about going to art school, but you chose a more lucrative major that you loved just as much. Plus, you would be able to get as far away from Seoul and Taehyung as you could.

You took the envelope and opened it with shaking hands. All three Jeons were watching you with wide, eager eyes. You breathed in deeply through your nose and tried to gather all of your courage as you slid the pamphlet from its package. The letter was short and to the point, and that point made a smile stretch across your face. “I-I’m accepted.”

Jeongguk and Auntie Jeon both cheered and congratulated you, and Seokjin squealed excitedly. He skipped over to you and spun you around in his arms. “Yah, that’s amazing!”

You giggled and stared at the paper as if you still couldn’t believe it was real. How could something so amazing happen to you? Your dream was going to come true, and you were going to make something of yourself. You could hardly contain your excitement and practically squealed in happiness.

“There’s still a few more months before you graduate, but we should start figuring out your living situation since your parents are still away,” Auntie Jeon said breathlessly. “I’m so sad we won’t be able to stay with you in Busan.”

You frowned. “I know, I wish you could all come with me.”

“Nonsense,” Seokjin squeezed you tight. “Jeonggukie still has school, and you need to learn not to depend on me all the time, you mooch,” he pinched your cheek and you pushed him away.

“How are you gonna tell Taehyung-Hyung?” Jeongguk asked.

You paled. This was really it – you were going to leave Taehyung for good. You doubted you would stay in touch after you left since the last time you had spoken face-to-face was months before, and he had just blown you off not twelve hours ago. How could you tell him in the first place? Maybe you could text him, or visit his home – no, that was too much. You had to tell him in person.

“I-I’ll tell him tomorrow after class,” you muttered quietly. Seokjin squeezed your shoulder comfortingly, but it didn’t stop your furiously beating heart.

The school day was almost over, and it was getting harder for you to breathe. You had to tell Taehyung you were leaving after not speaking for months. There was a possibility he wouldn’t care, and an even greater one of him not giving you the time of day. Your stomach felt like it was twisting in knots. You tasted bile on your tongue. Eventually, you couldn’t take it any longer and asked for permission to go to the washroom.

Your homeroom teacher gave you an annoyed look over his glasses but nodded. You bowed and ran out of the room, noticing Eunji’s desk was empty. The only reason you knew this was because Taehyung was actually looking at you. Another wave of nausea hit when you met his gaze and you walked faster. Your feet carried you past the restroom and led you to a place of solitude: the “secret hideout” outside the school.

You planned to sit there until your heartbeat slowed down, but stopped in your tracks when you heard a loud moan. Your face flushed bright red and you meant to run – “Eunji, don’t be so loud,” a man panted amidst more moans and slapping noises.

Everything seemed to stop at once. You couldn’t hear anything but the moans of the girl Taehyung loved, as she cheated on him in broad daylight. Still, you couldn’t be sure it was her – after all, who could cheat on someone as wonderful as Taehyung?

Taking a deep breath, you slowly crept up to the corner of the building. Your mind was screaming at you to turn around because whatever you saw was either going to gross you out or infuriate you. With as much secrecy as you could muster, you peeked around the edge.

You had been right.

To your disgust and horror, Eunji was cheating on the love of your life. In your shock, you hadn’t moved back fast enough, and she spotted you. You expected her to beg you not to tell Taehyung and plead with you to forget this because she’ll never do it again, but … she just smirked at you. You felt your blood run cold and your heart skipped a beat. How could she …

You couldn’t take seeing anymore, so you ran. Your entire body felt dirty like you had rolled in the mud, because now you were part of a nasty secret that would break the heart of the boy who held yours. You felt your anxiety rising so quickly, it felt as if it had exploded in your chest. What should you do? What could you do? It was impossible to go back to class. How could you face Taehyung with what you saw? Should you tell him? You weren’t even sure if it was your place to tell him something like this.

You ran from the school, not really sure what you were doing, but needing to get away. Auntie Jeon would be at work at this time of day, so you decided to go home and really think about this, maybe give Seokjin a call. Was he in class now? Your mind was so jumbled, you couldn’t remember his schedule.

When you came to the door, you were already in tears, and your shaking hands fumbled with the house keys. You were hyperventilating and seething with anger and despair. The thought that the girl Taehyung loved would do something so horrible, and not even care when she was caught made you want to be sick. What kind of person was she? You wondered how long she had been doing this, and what mindset she was in to do something so vile.

In your frazzled state, you dropped your keys. That was the last straw, and the knot of stress in your stomach burst and you fell to your knees, your body shaking with all the emotions rushing through you. Tears stained your face, making your hair stick to your cheeks. You didn’t deserve this, and neither did he. He deserved to be loved and cherished, not treated like some toy. The pain you experienced felt as if you had been the one who had been cheated on. It felt like claws were tearing at your heart and you couldn’t imagine how much Taehyung would hurt after knowing what you did. He loved her … how could she do this to him?

Suddenly, the door flew open. You jumped back and looked up at the man standing in the doorway. It was Seokjin’s best friend, Namjoon. His eyes widened in surprise, and his mouth opened and closed like a fish as he tried to register the state you were in. “Y/N-ah, what are you doing out of school?”

You tried to speak, but only a broken cry came out. Namjoon flinched and looked back into the house. “S-Seokjin went out to get some food, but h-he’ll be back soon.” You nodded. After a moment of silence, he bent down to your level. “Did something happen?” he asked gently.

You nodded. Namjoon was a kind man that Seokjin had met during his first year of university. He was extremely smart, and just as in love with literature and history as you were – you both fangirled over Shakespeare as hard as others (and you) did over EXO. The two of you could talk for hours, using words and ideas that were completely lost on the other three. Jeongguk often fell asleep when the two of you interacted.

“Come on, you need to lay down.” He lifted you by the undersides of your arms and gently pulled you inside. You sniffled and struggled to walk with him as best he could. He lay you down on the large couch and left to fetch you some water. When he came back, he set it down on the coffee table and sat beside you.

“I’ll wait until Seokjin comes home to ask you anything,” he said after clearing his throat. You nodded and took a sip of the cold water. It soothed your scratchy throat and cooled your heated blood. Slowly, your thoughts became clearer. You realized that all those times you told yourself Eunji didn’t mean to smirk at you or put someone down, she was really this horrible, cheating bitch. You had never hated someone so much in your life. Your body heated up again and your hands gripped the cup as if your life depended on it.

Namjoon didn’t speak, and you were too tense to attempt conversation. You could feel the tension leave Namjoon’s body when Seokjin opened the front door. His eyes scanned over you and saw your teary face. “What are you doing here?”

“Oh, good – I mean, I didn’t want her to be alone, but I’ll go now,” Namjoon bid his Hyung goodbye and rushed out of the house.

Seokjin furrowed his brow and placed his bag of groceries on the counter before gently sitting beside you. “Y/N,” he said cautiously, “you’ve never skipped school before; What’s going on?”

You sniffled and wiped away the now angry tears. Your heart had calmed down a little, but your head was still spinning. The words stuck in your throat when you tried to speak, and you let out a weak whimper. Seokjin gently rubbed your back, waiting patiently for you to clear your mind.

After a few moments and shuddering inhales, you finally spoke. “Eunji … She was cheating on him …” you sobbed.

Jin was silent. Your blood ran colder with every second that silence hung in the air. You knew he may not believe you, as Jin was so quick to see the good in people. Maybe he thought you were making it up because you liked Taehyung. Maybe he thought you saw wrong. You flinched when he spoke. “What?”

“I saw it,” you covered your eyes in despair. “I saw her with another man and …”

“I knew I never liked her,” Jin growled. You jolted up in surprise at his dark tone. Your fear deepened when you saw his wide eyes, filled with hate. He balled his fists and launched himself off of the couch. “She always seemed like such a jerk, and the moment she opened her mouth against you I knew she was no good. Where did you see it?”

“B-behind the school,” you answered.

He took a deep breath to calm himself. “Have you told him?”

You shook your head. “No … I can’t tell him. I don’t know how to.”

“Y/N,” Seokjin sighed. “You have to tell him.”

“How do I even do that?” you exploded. “How do I tell Taehyung that his girlfriend cheated on him and didn’t even care when she saw me? How do I tell him the girl he’s in love with is a cheating bitch? I can’t break his heart, Seokjin!”

“You have to,” he said, trying to sound calm, but failing. He gripped your shoulders and looked deep into your eyes. “Y/N, you have to tell Taehyung what you saw before she gets away with it again.”

You sobbed into your hands. “But … I love him so much and I can’t hurt him like this.”

“What?”

The two of you looked up in shock, Jeongguk looking back at you with wide eyes. He awkwardly fiddled with the straps of his bag. “T-Taehyung texted me and said you hadn’t come back to class, so … I ran into Namjoon-Hyung down the street and he told me you were here. Wha – Did you mean that, Y/N?”

Your stomach churned with all the nerves and panic you felt. No one but Seokjin was ever supposed to know about your feelings, and now Jeongguk – the biggest blabbermouth of them all – knew …

“Oh, God,” you sobbed and covered your red face. You pressed yourself into Seokjin’s chest and cried.

“What did I do?” Jeongguk sounded terrified.

“It’s not you,” Seokjin sighed. “Just – She just needs to be alone for a little bit. I’ll bring her to her room. You start doing your homework before Eomma kills you for skipping school.”

Seokjin led you to your bedroom and gently set your shaking body down on your bed. He sat down beside you and rubbed your shoulder like always. “Y/N, he has to know. Tomorrow, you need to tell him.” You nodded and curled into a little ball. “Good. Rest for a while, okay. I’ll get you some ice cream.”

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