whentherawrites-blog

[whentherawrites-blog]

Alam ko namang walang pag-asa pero umaasa pa din ako.

Malay mo!

[whentherawrites-blog]

I need to hate you more than I love you.

[whentherawrites-blog]

To My Future Boyfriend

I may not know now who you are, where are you and what are you doing. I may not know who you are with tonight, what are your favorite movies, foods, drinks and color. But soon enough, I know deep down in my heart, someday I’ll meet you.

I want you to know that I’m not perfect. I have a lot of flaws. I’m stubborn, childish, prideful and fickle. I’m a jealous type, too. Short-tempered and a crying-baby. I’m afraid of worms but not with cockroaches. I love green but most of my stuffs are blue, kinda ironic too. I look at the message of the song, the lyrics, the story behind, and not with the tune or melody or the beat. I don’t dance, I sing but my voice’s not good, you’ll get annoyed when you hear it.

I love watching movies; if someday we’ll watch together, avoid talking to me, just grab my hand and let’s watch silently. Well, I love reading novels much! So please listen to me as I tell you how was the book I’m currently reading, my point of views, how I feel about it and if possible, read it too so we can talk about it all the time. Spend time with me in a coffee shop, I love the smell of coffee and I love cheesecake or any cake.

Oh! I forgot, I’m clingy, too but not that much. I love leaning in shoulders, random hugs and holding hands. I don’t like texting that much but when I’m into you, I could spend my whole day sending random sweet messages. Well, as all other girls do, I love flowers, too. Roses are good and sunflower’s the best. I’m a classy person, I still appreciate letters. I do, yes! I do love surprises especially when it’s just a normal day.

Hey! Don’t worry. Of all the things I’ve listed above, you will be I love the most. I know we don’t even know when but hold on. Only time will tell. As of now, I’m getting myself ready, I’m taking all the fears away, I’m mending my heart so when the day comes, I will be willing to tear down my walls for you, I will let you enter and lock you inside. For now, let’s just enjoy the moment cause the best of togetherness is yet to come.

[whentherawrites-blog]

I told myself to stop but everytime I see you, my heart drops.

[whentherawrites-blog]

I wish you are thinking about me too.

[whentherawrites-blog]

Let’s Pray

Dear Father,

Today’s a new day, a new week to begin. Thank you for waking me up, thank you for letting me see the sun and the beauty of the day. Thank you for letting me breathe the air you’ve made. Thank you for giving me another hope, another chance to be a better person.

I may have challenges ahead, I pray that You’ll guide me through it. I know life’s tough and I may end up this day so tired. Remind me, Father, how blessed I am after all the hardships I will encounter. Give me strength, Father, give me your never-ending strength. When someone or something out there will test my faith. let me stand firm by Your side. When the strong winds try to blow me away from Your plans, let me fix my eyes on You. Temptations are everywhere, whisper to my ear what’s right and what’s wrong. Give me a peaceful mind, place calmness in my heart. Give me courage to take risk. Give me patience to understand. Use me, Father, let me do Your will. Help me live by Your words.

If I’ll make mistakes today, forgive me. If I’ll think against someone, forgive me. If I’ll say something not good to others, forgive me. Purify me, Lord. Consecrate my soul. Renew my faith. Thank you for the everlasting love, mercy, trust and patience. Thank you for the blessings.

I love you, Father.

In Jesus’ Name.

Amen.

[whentherawrites-blog]

October 5, 2015

From his abundance we have all received one gracious blessing after another.  -John 1:16

God is not selfish, he never was and never will. He’s willing to bless you, give you everything you needed, you wanted and you wished for. Even those impossible things. Nothing’s too hard for Him, for He’s the one who give everything to us at the beginning. He’s the God of provider, He can bless you after another blessing. The only thing you need to do is to ask, to knock, to seek for Him with all you hearts. Bounded up with prayers and strong faith, everything will be possible, everything you needed, you wanted, you wished for, you’ll have it. Even those things you think you don’t deserve, He will give it to you. God trusts you, God loves you and He will do anything to make you happy.

[whentherawrites-blog]

Been caught between the idea of love and pain.

[whentherawrites-blog]

It's hard to love you but I'm standing firm.

[whentherawrites-blog]

Time flies so fast. I’ll get to see you soon. And you know what, I still don’t know what will I do if our eyes finally meet, I don’t know what to feel when I hear your voice. I know this is over reacting but I still need to prepare myself. Just thinking that I will be with you in the same crowded place without saying ‘Hi’ to each other or without acknowledging each’s presence, that’s hell. I can feel the pinch in my heart, pain. That’s it. I feel pain. Not excitement. I don’t want to see you. I don’t want to hear you voice. I don’t want to look at you smile. I don’t want to stare at your eyes. I’m afraid of what might happen next if I do so. I’m afraid I’ll fall in love with you all over again. Damn! That’s for sure!

[whentherawrites-blog]

Hindi ko alam kung bakit ako nagseselos, eh wala naman akong karapatan.

[whentherawrites-blog]

HENERAL LUNA (Artikulo Uno)

I know some of you haven’t watch this and keeps on wondering what’s with this movie. Well, I’ll take you into it without spoiling you that much.

This is a mind-blown movie , a real bomb! A bomb that will surely shake your mind, will wake you up and will open your eyes. See the truth behind what we think we know (though some scenes are fictional). After you watch this, I’m pretty sure you’ll get a new perspective in our history. 

You’ll see how coward, selfish, cruel and fool the Filipinos before, some, I mean. You’ll get to hate Emilio Aguinaldo, the Americans, the Spaniards (oh! I hate them before and I hate them more now) and the Cavitenos. You’ll love how Gen. Luna ruled his men and how smart he is. I wish we are all brave like him, brave enough to die selflessly.

Anyway, this movie is all about defending our country from what we think a ‘friend’, Americans. It’s a war for freedom and a fight for sovereignty. 

Did I tell you a lot? Forgive me. I just can’t contain my anger anymore. Okay. You gotta watch this film. You’ll miss the half of the history (exaggeration) if you don’t. 

PS: The cinematography is better. I honestly don’t expect it for a film like that. High five!

[whentherawrites-blog]

When her laugh became the most beautiful sound you've ever heard, that's love.

[whentherawrites-blog]

We used to hold hands while we’re walking. We used to laugh on lame jokes together. We used to spend Saturday nights watching movies. We used to wake up cuddling each other. We used to say goodbyes with assurance that you and I will still be together tomorrow. We used to be the best and I don’t know how we turned out worst.

Thank you for believing in everything I say, I do even if it was all a lie. Thank you for forgiving me even if I keep on repeating the same mistakes. Thank you for cheering me up even if you know I don’t want what I am doing. Thank you for waiting for me in the rain even if I keep on saying it’s better for you to go. Thank you for considering my reasons even if they were all nonsense. Thank you for thinking that I am strong enough even if you saw me fell apart.Thank you for loving me even if I don’t deserve it.

I just can’t be her. I just can’t be the girl you thought I will always be. I just can’t be a girl you always wanted me to be. I am not strong, I’m fragile. I’m not innocent, I’m guilty. I am not kind, I'm cold. I don’t pretend that everything is easy. And I can’t be the best cause I am not good at all.

I keep on disappointing you and everyday I got a bunch of guilt for it. I keep on staying here and you keep on pulling me out. I know you’re tired of me, I am tired of myself too. I know you’re just fighting the urge to leave me. You don’t have to. If I were on your shoes, I’ll leave myself too. I don’t want to be your nightmare when I know I am supposed to be your sweet dream. I don’t want to be the rope around your neck, so tight that you can’t breath. 

This is goodbye. Tomorrow when you wake up, you’re free. You’re hands won't meet my hands anymore. You lips won’t find my lips. You won’t get to see me crying while breaking slowly. You’ll get me off your skin. I’ll leave your mind and eventually your heart. Goodbye, my love, good bye.

PS: Sorry. I can’t be your everything cause I am nothing.

[whentherawrites-blog]

To The One Who Asked Me To Wait.

When you ask me if I can, I said yes. I’m pretty sure I can. You know how much I like you, how much you mean to me and how much time I can give just to be with you. I have no doubts, I will wait for you.

Days turn to weeks. I haven’t notice any changes. Everyday I got myself convinced that I should lock my heart so no one would dare to open it. I have reserved it for you, the place here is yours, all yours. 

Weeks turn to months. I keep my promises. No other guy. No flirting with a stranger. Don’t go out on a date. Don’t find any guy so interesting. Don’t let them have your phone number. Everyday it gets harder but I’m still holding on every word you said. So I got myself busy doing my thing just to be distracted. 

I know we’re too far. I don’t mind it. Honestly I don’t care about it. I don’t care if you’ll wake up when I’m about to sleep. I don’t mind sacrificing hours of my rest just to talk with you. I don’t mind running in a store and got my cell loaded just to send you a reply. I don’t care about the miles. I don’t care about the time differences. I just care about you, about us.

Months turn to year. It seems, it’s just me who still care. It’s just me who still keep the promises. It’s just me who still remember every word we made. The saddest part happened. You have forgotten me. You haven’t called me for months. And when you finally do, you just said goodbye. 

I feel something shakes hardly inside me. So hard that every piece that’s made of me shattered into pieces. My heart breaks. I can’t breath. I can’t think of anything. I am lost.

You told me to wait. To wait for the day you’ll come home again. To wait for the day you and I will be us. To wait for the day I’ll be yours and you’ll be mine officially. I even locked my heart, build a walls around it. I thought you’re the one who’ll tear it down, you’re the one who’ll save me from this misery. Or I should I say, I have just convinced myself that you are the one. Don’t worry I don’t regret it anyway but to be left by someone who asked you to stay, well, just so you know, it hurts like hell.

[whentherawrites-blog]

My walls are tearing apart when you smile at me.

[whentherawrites-blog]

Siguro ganun na nga. Naalala mo lang ako pag bored ka na.