wheresarizona - Tumblr blog

[wheresarizona]

Goddamnit 😫🔥

There’s MOOOOOORE

[wheresarizona]

but now I’m your daisy

summary: It’s a random Thursday in the middle of spring, and Joel has a surprise for you—a surprise that’s an hour away from Jackson on horseback, that he insists on blindfolding you for.

pairing: Joel Miller/gn!reader (reader has smaller hands than Joel)

rating: T (No y/n, AGE GAP (unspecified, reader is an adult), Grumpy Joel Miller, a lil Possessive Joel Miller, FLUFF, it’s so fluffy, established relationship, kissing, purposely annoying Joel until he snaps at you, Joel being secretly romantic, MARRIAGE PROPOSAL (it’s so cute), cussing, did I mention fluff? Joel being so in love, Joel being the best dad to Ellie)

word count: 2.5k+

a/n: This can be read as a standalone or in the same universe as ‘but I would die for you in secret.’ An anon requested a ‘fluffy cute fic with an age gap (No smut)’ for Joel, and this extremely cute idea came to me that I wrote in one night. Shoutout to @littlemisspascal who loved the snippets I sent her, and thank you to the love of my life, @juletheghoul for betaing!

Thank you for reading! Comments and reblogs feed me. I’d love to know what you thought!

but I would die for you in secret - Masterlist

“Are we there yet?” you ask for the thirteenth time in the span of an hour.

It’s the perfect spring day with the temperature outside not too hot and not too cold, the air feeling a little crisp when it fills your nose. The sun’s warmth is hitting your back, and you’re sure that if you could see the sky, it’d be a beautiful, clear, cerulean blue—you can’t see, though, not with the bandana over your eyes as you sit astride a horse, Joel on his own next to you holding his reins and yours to lead you.

His sigh is long and loud, and you can picture perfectly without having to look at his annoyed expression.

“No,” he growls. “The same damn answer as the last dozen or so times you asked.”

“Hey, don’t get mad at me—you haven’t spent an hour literally in the dark with no idea where the hell you’re going.”

“And I’ve told you it’s a surprise,” he rumbles.

“Well, are we close to this surprise?”

He sighs again, and you just know he’s got the fingers of his free hand pressed to his brow. “I swear, you’re just as bad as Ellie—neither of you seems to understand what a fuckin’ surprise is.” He takes a deep breath and slowly lets it out. “Now,” he says calmly, “I don’t know why you’re purposely pushin’ my buttons—”

“You ate the last of the ice cream last night,” you interrupt. “The ice cream I worked hard to make that I was excited to eat as a late-night snack.”

“You gotta be fuckin’ kiddin’ me—how many times do I have to apologize? I’m sorry. I didn’t know you were savin’ it, and had I known, I wouldn’t have eaten it. Will you please forgive me?”

“Did I annoy you enough that the thought crossed your mind to take us back home?”

“Yes.”

“And you didn’t because you love me so much you’ll put up with my shit?”

“Yes.”

“Then I forgive you. Can I ask a question that has nothing to do with the distance we are from the surprise?”

He lets out a relieved breath, and his tone softens. “Of course, honey.”

Without fail, every time he calls you a sweet endearment, you melt a little, feeling so soft you might turn into a puddle.

You’re smiling. “What made you choose today to surprise me? It’s kinda random that it’s a Thursday, and you didn’t wait for the weekend when we’re usually off.” You taught at the school, and Joel did whatever he was assigned each day; lately, it’s been a lot of patrolling.

“Do you know what today’s date is?”

The question makes you think because you do know the date, and it’s not your, his, or Ellie’s birthday; it’s not a holiday that you’re aware of, either, and frankly, you’re not quite sure what the significance is.

“I do, but what’s so special about it?”

“What were you doin’ last year around this time?”

“Um, what was I doing? Wait, it’s around when I moved to Jackson.”

“That’s right, and who’d you meet a little after you arrived?”

“A lot of people.”

“Jesus Christ,” he breathes in exasperation. “Baby, when did you meet me?”

“Like two, three days after I moved into the house across the street from you.”

“And what happened when we met?”

The memory makes you smirk. “I seduced you—my sexy, way older, single dad neighbor.”

“That’s true—I was gone on you from the moment you batted those pretty eyes at me, and who were you romantically involved with from that day forward?”

Your eyebrows furrow. “You.”

“Was there anyone else?” It’s a harmless question he knows the answer to and is honestly humorous even to be asked.

You snort. “Why would I have wanted to be with anyone else when I had you? No, of course not, and you were very clear that I was yours and only yours, even if nobody else knew for quite some time.”

Your relationship with him was a secret for many months because he didn’t want Ellie to know—he was worried she wouldn’t take it well, but she ended up being completely fine with it and had figured out the two of you were a thing, pretty much from the beginning.

“So, it’s a year from the day you became mine,” he says, “why would I be takin’ you somewhere special?”

The realization slams into so hard you gasp.

“Are we celebrating the anniversary of when we first met?!”

It’s clear in his voice he’s smiling. “We are—I know we did things ass-backward, and I wish I could’ve courted you properly from the beginnin’, but I consider that first time we met as the start of our unconventional relationship.”

Warmth is spreading through your body at how sweet this is.

“Oh my god, Joel—if I could, I’d kiss you right now!”

“Well, you’re in luck, my love, ‘cause we’re finally here.” Your horse comes to a stop, the animal snorting as its front hooves shuffle in place. “You can look.”

You lower the bandana, and your eyes widen at what’s in front of you: it’s a meadow of colorful wildflowers—the lush green grass overshadowed by the yellows, pinks, purples, whites, and blues blooming thickly everywhere, tall pine trees lining the edges, and snow-capped mountains towering high off in the distance.

You’ve never seen anything so beautiful, and it takes your breath away.

There’s movement out of the corner of your eye of Joel getting off his horse, and you’re too focused on taking in all of the scenery, seeing butterflies fluttering around and birds gliding through the air.

“Well?” he asks, and you jolt at his voice coming from the opposite side of where he was initially. “Sorry for spookin’ ya, baby.” He rubs a hand along your jean-covered thigh, and your head tilts down his way. Joel’s eyes look hopeful, and a small smile is on his lips—he’s wearing a red flannel and has a rifle on his back, the light breeze causing some of his gray strands of hair to dance atop his head. “What do you think?” he asks.

Your answer is to get off the horse, Joel’s hands immediately grabbing onto your waist to steady you as you swing your leg over the back of the animal, one foot landing on the ground, then the other—you spin around, throwing your arms around his neck, and crush your lips to his, swallowing his surprised sound. He’s automatically hugging you to him, and you never feel safer than when he holds you, knowing without a doubt he won’t let anything happen to you and will protect you with everything he has; you’d do the same for him and Ellie, the two most important people in your life.

When you break apart, your breaths come out a little heavier, and with the way he’s gazing into your eyes, you can clearly see his love for you shining through.

His hand caresses your cheek. “A good surprise?” he asks.

Your mouth is grinning as you nod. “The best surprise and worth an hour in the dark.” You hold his face as you lean in, placing loud, smacking kisses over his stubbled cheeks, along his jaw, on his chin, and lips. Joel chuckles at your enthusiasm, and you end with a peck to the tip of his nose.

“There’s more,” he says.

Your eyes go big. “What do you mean there’s more?”

“Let me tie up the horses, and I’ll show you.”

He moves away to do as he said, using ropes to tie around each of their two front legs to hobble them and keep them in place, allowing them to graze.

Joel isn’t kidding about there being more: he removes a blanket roll from his saddle that he spreads out on a patch of grass, and from his backpack, he takes out containers with strawberries, apples, cheese, some smoked meat and to drink, a bottle of apple juice made in Jackson.

He sits on the blanket, his long legs out in front of him, the food on one side of him, his rifle, and your shotgun that’d been holstered in a scabbard attached to your saddle within reach on the ground. He makes you giggle as he pulls you down into his lap, sitting sideways across it, his arms wrapping around your middle, while your hands go into the hair at the back of his head, his eyes locked on yours.

Something hard is poking you in the ass. “Is that a flashlight in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me?” you ask with a wag of your eyebrows.

Joel huffs out an amused breath as he gets his hand under you and pulls his sheathed hunting knife off of his belt, tossing it next to the rifle and shotgun.

“Better?” he asks with a raised eyebrow.

“Yes.” You kiss his cheek. “Much better—thank you.” You stare at his handsome face and brush his messy bangs off his forehead—Joel grabs your hand, keeping his gaze on yours as he kisses the skin on the inside of your wrist, leaving behind tingles where his lips touch.

“If Ellie knew how secretly romantic you are,” you say, “she’d give you even more shit than she already does.”

His eyes roll, and he holds your smaller hand in his bigger one, pressing it to his heart.

“Wanna know a secret?” he asks.

“Always.”

“She avoids teasin’ me about our relationship and how I am with you—I mean, if she sees us kiss, she’ll pretend to get sick, but that’s just how teenagers are.” He shrugs. “She slips up every once in a while, and that’s expected; I think her tryin’ her best not to shit on my happiness is her sweet way of bein’ supportive.” He’s smiling fondly. “She’s the one who suggested a picnic.”

Your face matches his. “You discussed your secret anniversary plans with her?”

“Yes.” He nods. “'cause Tommy’s idea of celebratin’ was stayin’ in bed all day naked, and it made me wonder for the millionth time why the fuck Maria married his ass.”

You laugh. “And that’s pretty much a regular Saturday for us when Ellie stays at Cat’s—” Her girlfriend’s. “—for the weekend.”

He’s got an arm around your back and lets go of your hand, reaching to pluck a dandelion from the grass at the edge of the blanket.

“Exactly,” he says, “needed to do somethin’ special, and I found this place a few weeks ago while on patrol and knew you’d love it.” His eyes squint a little as his attention turns to what’s in front of him.

“I do, I love it so much.” You look around at the flowers, trees, and mountains. “It’s so beautiful!”

“Yeah, it is.” You face him again, finding his gaze already on you.

He does this often, where when you seek him out—be it at the crowded bar on a Friday night, the busy mess hall at breakfast before work, while you’re cuddled on the couch watching a movie—he’s already looking at you before your eyes land on his. It’s like you’re the only thing that exists, and you find it both lovely and insane that he loves you that much.

The other person who steals his attention is Ellie—she’s his whole world, and that’s how it should be; she’s his kid, and if Joel’s one thing, he’s a fantastic father who loves his children more than anything.

“You’ve ruined me for anyone else, Joel Miller,” you tell him, clutching his shirt with your left hand. “I love you, I love your daughter, I love the life we have, and I’m sorry, but you’re stuck with me for the rest of your life—you’re mine, and I’ll fight anyone or anything that tries to take you from me.”

“Yeah?” He takes your hand from his shirt and presses your palms together between you, making your own look so tiny with how much longer and thicker his fingers are. “Well,” he starts, your eyes closing when he leans in to nudge his nose against yours, “you’ve sure ruined me for anyone else, too, and you’re it for me—I love you, I love that you really do care about my kid, and how you make our lives better,” he rasps softly. “No one else can have you ‘cause you belong to me as I belong to you, so I see this only goin’ one way.”

“And where’s that?” you whisper.

His hand leaves yours for a moment.

“With you marryin’ me,” he says and slips something onto your ring finger—your eyes fly open seeing he’s tied the dandelion stem to make a loop your finger can fit through, the vibrant yellow flower a pretty substitute for a real diamond ring that are hard to find these days; this is Joel doing something how it was done when he was younger because, to him, it’s the right way, even though nowadays engagements are simply a verbal agreement rarely accompanied by jewelry. Or this is Joel just being romantically old-fashioned; you love it when he’s romantically old-fashioned.

Your cheeks are hurting from smiling so big, and tears are brimming in your eyes.

“If you’ll have me, of course,” he adds, and you look at him. “I know I’ve been alive a long fuckin’ time and that you can do better than someone as old as me, but I promise I’ll give you my everythin’ and the best life I can because you’re the one I wanna spend whatever time I have left breathin’ with.” The truth is evident in his chocolate-colored gaze, seeing the glimmer of hope in the dark pools. “As long as it’s somethin’ you’d want. It’s fine if you prefer we keep doin’ things as we have been without you takin’ my last name—I’m lucky enough that you like me.”

“Ask me,” you say.

His eyebrows pull together. “Ask you what…?”

“To marry you—in all the sweet things you said, you didn’t ask the question.”

His cheeks pink up, and he scratches the back of his neck. “That’s fuckin’ embarrassin’. Not much of a proposal if you don’t ask the question—sorry—let me try this again.” He clears his throat and takes your hand, being careful of the dandelion ring, his eyes seeming to get bigger. “Will you marry me?”

“Yes,” you answer immediately, and he rewards you with a smile big enough for his very seldom-seen dimple to make an appearance.

Then his large palms are cradling your face, and he’s kissing you like he’s just come home after being away for a while, and can’t believe he’s finally feeling your lips against his once more—he’s savoring every second and being so thorough it makes you go dizzy, your skin heating beneath your clothes.

This is one of those unforgettable kisses that will make you swoon each time it comes to mind in the years to come.

And this man asked you to marry him.

Settling down in Jackson was the best decision you’ve ever made.

but I would die for you in secret - Masterlist

Thank you for reading! If you’d like to be tagged in my fics, please fill out the form in my bio, on my masterlist, or just let me know! 

[wheresarizona]

making these gifs and all i can think about is i need joel fluff fics rn

[wheresarizona]

Pedro Pascal as Dieter Bravo

The Bubble (2022)

[wheresarizona]

but now I’m your daisy

summary: It’s a random Thursday in the middle of spring, and Joel has a surprise for you—a surprise that’s an hour away from Jackson on horseback, that he insists on blindfolding you for.

pairing: Joel Miller/gn!reader (reader has smaller hands than Joel)

rating: T (No y/n, AGE GAP (unspecified, reader is an adult), Grumpy Joel Miller, a lil Possessive Joel Miller, FLUFF, it’s so fluffy, established relationship, kissing, purposely annoying Joel until he snaps at you, Joel being secretly romantic, MARRIAGE PROPOSAL (it’s so cute), cussing, did I mention fluff? Joel being so in love, Joel being the best dad to Ellie)

word count: 2.5k+

a/n: This can be read as a standalone or in the same universe as ‘but I would die for you in secret.’ An anon requested a ‘fluffy cute fic with an age gap (No smut)’ for Joel, and this extremely cute idea came to me that I wrote in one night. Shoutout to @littlemisspascal who loved the snippets I sent her, and thank you to the love of my life, @juletheghoul for betaing!

Thank you for reading! Comments and reblogs feed me. I’d love to know what you thought!

but I would die for you in secret - Masterlist

“Are we there yet?” you ask for the thirteenth time in the span of an hour.

It’s the perfect spring day with the temperature outside not too hot and not too cold, the air feeling a little crisp when it fills your nose. The sun’s warmth is hitting your back, and you’re sure that if you could see the sky, it’d be a beautiful, clear, cerulean blue—you can’t see, though, not with the bandana over your eyes as you sit astride a horse, Joel on his own next to you holding his reins and yours to lead you.

His sigh is long and loud, and you can picture perfectly without having to look at his annoyed expression.

“No,” he growls. “The same damn answer as the last dozen or so times you asked.”

“Hey, don’t get mad at me—you haven’t spent an hour literally in the dark with no idea where the hell you’re going.”

“And I’ve told you it’s a surprise,” he rumbles.

“Well, are we close to this surprise?”

He sighs again, and you just know he’s got the fingers of his free hand pressed to his brow. “I swear, you’re just as bad as Ellie—neither of you seems to understand what a fuckin’ surprise is.” He takes a deep breath and slowly lets it out. “Now,” he says calmly, “I don’t know why you’re purposely pushin’ my buttons—”

“You ate the last of the ice cream last night,” you interrupt. “The ice cream I worked hard to make that I was excited to eat as a late-night snack.”

“You gotta be fuckin’ kiddin’ me—how many times do I have to apologize? I’m sorry. I didn’t know you were savin’ it, and had I known, I wouldn’t have eaten it. Will you please forgive me?”

“Did I annoy you enough that the thought crossed your mind to take us back home?”

“Yes.”

“And you didn’t because you love me so much you’ll put up with my shit?”

“Yes.”

“Then I forgive you. Can I ask a question that has nothing to do with the distance we are from the surprise?”

He lets out a relieved breath, and his tone softens. “Of course, honey.”

Without fail, every time he calls you a sweet endearment, you melt a little, feeling so soft you might turn into a puddle.

You’re smiling. “What made you choose today to surprise me? It’s kinda random that it’s a Thursday, and you didn’t wait for the weekend when we’re usually off.” You taught at the school, and Joel did whatever he was assigned each day; lately, it’s been a lot of patrolling.

“Do you know what today’s date is?”

The question makes you think because you do know the date, and it’s not your, his, or Ellie’s birthday; it’s not a holiday that you’re aware of, either, and frankly, you’re not quite sure what the significance is.

“I do, but what’s so special about it?”

“What were you doin’ last year around this time?”

“Um, what was I doing? Wait, it’s around when I moved to Jackson.”

“That’s right, and who’d you meet a little after you arrived?”

“A lot of people.”

“Jesus Christ,” he breathes in exasperation. “Baby, when did you meet me?”

“Like two, three days after I moved into the house across the street from you.”

“And what happened when we met?”

The memory makes you smirk. “I seduced you—my sexy, way older, single dad neighbor.”

“That’s true—I was gone on you from the moment you batted those pretty eyes at me, and who were you romantically involved with from that day forward?”

Your eyebrows furrow. “You.”

“Was there anyone else?” It’s a harmless question he knows the answer to and is honestly humorous even to be asked.

You snort. “Why would I have wanted to be with anyone else when I had you? No, of course not, and you were very clear that I was yours and only yours, even if nobody else knew for quite some time.”

Your relationship with him was a secret for many months because he didn’t want Ellie to know—he was worried she wouldn’t take it well, but she ended up being completely fine with it and had figured out the two of you were a thing, pretty much from the beginning.

“So, it’s a year from the day you became mine,” he says, “why would I be takin’ you somewhere special?”

The realization slams into so hard you gasp.

“Are we celebrating the anniversary of when we first met?!”

It’s clear in his voice he’s smiling. “We are—I know we did things ass-backward, and I wish I could’ve courted you properly from the beginnin’, but I consider that first time we met as the start of our unconventional relationship.”

Warmth is spreading through your body at how sweet this is.

“Oh my god, Joel—if I could, I’d kiss you right now!”

“Well, you’re in luck, my love, ‘cause we’re finally here.” Your horse comes to a stop, the animal snorting as its front hooves shuffle in place. “You can look.”

You lower the bandana, and your eyes widen at what’s in front of you: it’s a meadow of colorful wildflowers—the lush green grass overshadowed by the yellows, pinks, purples, whites, and blues blooming thickly everywhere, tall pine trees lining the edges, and snow-capped mountains towering high off in the distance.

You’ve never seen anything so beautiful, and it takes your breath away.

There’s movement out of the corner of your eye of Joel getting off his horse, and you’re too focused on taking in all of the scenery, seeing butterflies fluttering around and birds gliding through the air.

“Well?” he asks, and you jolt at his voice coming from the opposite side of where he was initially. “Sorry for spookin’ ya, baby.” He rubs a hand along your jean-covered thigh, and your head tilts down his way. Joel’s eyes look hopeful, and a small smile is on his lips—he’s wearing a red flannel and has a rifle on his back, the light breeze causing some of his gray strands of hair to dance atop his head. “What do you think?” he asks.

Your answer is to get off the horse, Joel’s hands immediately grabbing onto your waist to steady you as you swing your leg over the back of the animal, one foot landing on the ground, then the other—you spin around, throwing your arms around his neck, and crush your lips to his, swallowing his surprised sound. He’s automatically hugging you to him, and you never feel safer than when he holds you, knowing without a doubt he won’t let anything happen to you and will protect you with everything he has; you’d do the same for him and Ellie, the two most important people in your life.

When you break apart, your breaths come out a little heavier, and with the way he’s gazing into your eyes, you can clearly see his love for you shining through.

His hand caresses your cheek. “A good surprise?” he asks.

Your mouth is grinning as you nod. “The best surprise and worth an hour in the dark.” You hold his face as you lean in, placing loud, smacking kisses over his stubbled cheeks, along his jaw, on his chin, and lips. Joel chuckles at your enthusiasm, and you end with a peck to the tip of his nose.

“There’s more,” he says.

Your eyes go big. “What do you mean there’s more?”

“Let me tie up the horses, and I’ll show you.”

He moves away to do as he said, using ropes to tie around each of their two front legs to hobble them and keep them in place, allowing them to graze.

Joel isn’t kidding about there being more: he removes a blanket roll from his saddle that he spreads out on a patch of grass, and from his backpack, he takes out containers with strawberries, apples, cheese, some smoked meat and to drink, a bottle of apple juice made in Jackson.

He sits on the blanket, his long legs out in front of him, the food on one side of him, his rifle, and your shotgun that’d been holstered in a scabbard attached to your saddle within reach on the ground. He makes you giggle as he pulls you down into his lap, sitting sideways across it, his arms wrapping around your middle, while your hands go into the hair at the back of his head, his eyes locked on yours.

Something hard is poking you in the ass. “Is that a flashlight in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me?” you ask with a wag of your eyebrows.

Joel huffs out an amused breath as he gets his hand under you and pulls his sheathed hunting knife off of his belt, tossing it next to the rifle and shotgun.

“Better?” he asks with a raised eyebrow.

“Yes.” You kiss his cheek. “Much better—thank you.” You stare at his handsome face and brush his messy bangs off his forehead—Joel grabs your hand, keeping his gaze on yours as he kisses the skin on the inside of your wrist, leaving behind tingles where his lips touch.

“If Ellie knew how secretly romantic you are,” you say, “she’d give you even more shit than she already does.”

His eyes roll, and he holds your smaller hand in his bigger one, pressing it to his heart.

“Wanna know a secret?” he asks.

“Always.”

“She avoids teasin’ me about our relationship and how I am with you—I mean, if she sees us kiss, she’ll pretend to get sick, but that’s just how teenagers are.” He shrugs. “She slips up every once in a while, and that’s expected; I think her tryin’ her best not to shit on my happiness is her sweet way of bein’ supportive.” He’s smiling fondly. “She’s the one who suggested a picnic.”

Your face matches his. “You discussed your secret anniversary plans with her?”

“Yes.” He nods. “'cause Tommy’s idea of celebratin’ was stayin’ in bed all day naked, and it made me wonder for the millionth time why the fuck Maria married his ass.”

You laugh. “And that’s pretty much a regular Saturday for us when Ellie stays at Cat’s—” Her girlfriend’s. “—for the weekend.”

He’s got an arm around your back and lets go of your hand, reaching to pluck a dandelion from the grass at the edge of the blanket.

“Exactly,” he says, “needed to do somethin’ special, and I found this place a few weeks ago while on patrol and knew you’d love it.” His eyes squint a little as his attention turns to what’s in front of him.

“I do, I love it so much.” You look around at the flowers, trees, and mountains. “It’s so beautiful!”

“Yeah, it is.” You face him again, finding his gaze already on you.

He does this often, where when you seek him out—be it at the crowded bar on a Friday night, the busy mess hall at breakfast before work, while you’re cuddled on the couch watching a movie—he’s already looking at you before your eyes land on his. It’s like you’re the only thing that exists, and you find it both lovely and insane that he loves you that much.

The other person who steals his attention is Ellie—she’s his whole world, and that’s how it should be; she’s his kid, and if Joel’s one thing, he’s a fantastic father who loves his children more than anything.

“You’ve ruined me for anyone else, Joel Miller,” you tell him, clutching his shirt with your left hand. “I love you, I love your daughter, I love the life we have, and I’m sorry, but you’re stuck with me for the rest of your life—you’re mine, and I’ll fight anyone or anything that tries to take you from me.”

“Yeah?” He takes your hand from his shirt and presses your palms together between you, making your own look so tiny with how much longer and thicker his fingers are. “Well,” he starts, your eyes closing when he leans in to nudge his nose against yours, “you’ve sure ruined me for anyone else, too, and you’re it for me—I love you, I love that you really do care about my kid, and how you make our lives better,” he rasps softly. “No one else can have you ‘cause you belong to me as I belong to you, so I see this only goin’ one way.”

“And where’s that?” you whisper.

His hand leaves yours for a moment.

“With you marryin’ me,” he says and slips something onto your ring finger—your eyes fly open seeing he’s tied the dandelion stem to make a loop your finger can fit through, the vibrant yellow flower a pretty substitute for a real diamond ring that are hard to find these days; this is Joel doing something how it was done when he was younger because, to him, it’s the right way, even though nowadays engagements are simply a verbal agreement rarely accompanied by jewelry. Or this is Joel just being romantically old-fashioned; you love it when he’s romantically old-fashioned.

Your cheeks are hurting from smiling so big, and tears are brimming in your eyes.

“If you’ll have me, of course,” he adds, and you look at him. “I know I’ve been alive a long fuckin’ time and that you can do better than someone as old as me, but I promise I’ll give you my everythin’ and the best life I can because you’re the one I wanna spend whatever time I have left breathin’ with.” The truth is evident in his chocolate-colored gaze, seeing the glimmer of hope in the dark pools. “As long as it’s somethin’ you’d want. It’s fine if you prefer we keep doin’ things as we have been without you takin’ my last name—I’m lucky enough that you like me.”

“Ask me,” you say.

His eyebrows pull together. “Ask you what…?”

“To marry you—in all the sweet things you said, you didn’t ask the question.”

His cheeks pink up, and he scratches the back of his neck. “That’s fuckin’ embarrassin’. Not much of a proposal if you don’t ask the question—sorry—let me try this again.” He clears his throat and takes your hand, being careful of the dandelion ring, his eyes seeming to get bigger. “Will you marry me?”

“Yes,” you answer immediately, and he rewards you with a smile big enough for his very seldom-seen dimple to make an appearance.

Then his large palms are cradling your face, and he’s kissing you like he’s just come home after being away for a while, and can’t believe he’s finally feeling your lips against his once more—he’s savoring every second and being so thorough it makes you go dizzy, your skin heating beneath your clothes.

This is one of those unforgettable kisses that will make you swoon each time it comes to mind in the years to come.

And this man asked you to marry him.

Settling down in Jackson was the best decision you’ve ever made.

but I would die for you in secret - Masterlist

Thank you for reading! If you’d like to be tagged in my fics, please fill out the form in my bio, on my masterlist, or just let me know! 

[wheresarizona]

strange way of life (2023)

[wheresarizona]

Rules: Post the last sentence you wrote (fanfic / original / anything) and tag as many people as there are words in the sentence.

Thank you for the tag @toomanystoriessolittletime!! 😘😘😘

Here’s something from part 2 of ‘but I would die for you in secret.’

I’m gonna tag based on just the last sentence.

Tagging: @juletheghoul @littlemisspascal @iamskyereads @theetherealbloom

[wheresarizona]

[wheresarizona]

Thank you so much!! It took me forever to do the text messages but I thought the visuals would be helpful. I’m so happy you enjoyed this!! Thank you for reading and commenting!! 🥰🥰🥰

God is a Woman

summary: Max Phillips has been trying to fuck you since the moment you met. It surprises him when you want to fuck him. (Or pegging Max Phillips)

rating: E (18+! No y/n, pegging (anal fingering & anal sex), blow jobs, vaginal fingering, come eating, dirty talk, praise kink, (1) bite (surprisingly not Max), kink negotiation, sexting, Asshole Max Phillips, Switch Max Phillips, Soft Max Phillips, Protective Max Phillips, boss/employee, Max using an excessive amount of emojis in his texts, some feelings, some comedy, alcohol, mentions of murder and an uncomfy situation with a creepy coworker (no details))

pairing: Max Phillips/f!reader

word count: 6.7k+

a/n: There are screenshots of texts because I felt it was essential to see the ridiculousness that is Max’s obsession with emojis. Lmao, I put a lot of effort into it. Anyways, this is self-indulgent. I wanted to peg Max, listened to spicy audio of a man getting pegged for inspo, and here we are. This will be two parts. Shoutout and thanks to the love of my life, @juletheghoul, for betaing and enjoying this as much as me.

Thank you for reading! Comments and reblogs are appreciated!

Part 2 - Masterlist

The workweek had been hectic, and you were thankful it was finally Friday. Being the assistant to Max Phillips was a lot in normal circumstances with his cocky attitude, constant advances, and crudeness. Add in him handling two big account presentations in the same week, and you more than earned the bottle of wine you’d opened.

You were lounging on your couch, wearing your comfiest pajamas, and sipping on your largest glass of wine while watching the latest episode of a reality television show you knew was absolute trash but absolutely loved—living for the ridiculous drama and all of the absurd craziness, thanking the universe that your life was pretty tame in comparison, vampires being real besides the point.

Your phone buzzed on the coffee table in front of you, the screen lighting up to show you had a text. You leaned forward to pick it up, quickly unlocking the screen to pull up the message.

You sighed as you read the two words, honestly surprised it didn’t say, ‘U up?’

Since day one, Max had been trying to get into your pants, and since day one, you’d declined. You thought he was handsome—those expressive brown eyes, and pouty lips, the beautiful curve of his nose, and sharp jawline, not to mention he looked really fucking good in a suit. Once you got past his obnoxiousness, he was sexy, but you didn’t feel like being another one of his conquests, you didn’t want to be another notch in his belt before he moved on to the next. So, you put up with him, ignoring his advances and lingering stares at your tits, and did your job exceptionally well, the two of you somewhat friendly.

Your thumb tapped out your response.

You: No. If this has to do with work, I’m off the clock.

You snorted.

You: Then text Jennifer in accounting.

The week prior, you’d accidentally walked into his office to find him fucking her on his desk. You’d like to say that was the first time something like that had happened, but it wasn’t. You were pretty sure he’d slept with everyone on the payroll except you.

You took a sip of your wine.

You: Who’s fault is that?

You were so used to saying that sentence you’d typed it without a second thought.

You snorted again, absolutely doubting that was true.

You: You’re really looking for someone to cuddle? Why?

There it was.

You: I’ll have a heated blanket delivered to you.

You chewed on your lip before taking a big gulp from your glass, leaning forward to set it down on the table, and moving to get comfortable on the couch again.

His request was stuck in your brain, thinking it over and how it could all play out. It had been a literal hell of a week, and you wanted to decompress—one thing on your mind you knew would help, but you’d need a willing partner, and Max was definitely interested in you sexually… Would he be interested, was the real question. A couple of things gave you the courage to ask. Namely, the half a glass of wine you’d drunk as well as being horny. Primarily, though, you’d blame the alcohol.

You: Are you firm on no sex?

You rolled your eyes.

You: You want body heat? There’s something I want.

Max started replying right away.

“Good god,” you whispered to yourself, staring at the string of emojis, trying to decipher their meanings. “I’m really this desperate.”

On the bright side, he was a vampire, which meant you didn’t have to worry about STDs or pregnancy—since they were technically dead, there was no live sperm, and they were immune to diseases. You were honestly thankful he was undead with how many people you knew off the top of your head he’d fucked.

You tapped at your phone.

You: Actually, I want to fuck you.

Max: Did my emojis not convey I’m DTF?

You: You didn’t list what I wanted.

His replies came fast.

You thumbed your response quickly to clarify.

There was a pause. You saw the dots appearing and disappearing. Seconds passed, your bottom lip pulled between your teeth as you waited.

The dots disappeared, and finally, messages started appearing.

You rolled your eyes again.

He was so full of himself.

You: I’m firm, and if you’ve never done it before, I’d ease you into it. Promise to make it really good for you.

Another pause, like he was thinking.

Finally, he started replying.

You deflated, huffing out a breath as you locked your screen and tossed the phone onto the coffee table, grabbing your wine. You’d just have to use your vibrator when you finally got into bed. That’d be fine. You took a drink, focusing back on your show.

Some minutes passed, and your phone buzzed again. You moved to grab it, unlocking it and pulling up your messages.

You grinned, setting down your glass, and sitting back into the cushions.

Max: Will it hurt?

You: It shouldn’t. I’d start with my fingers while sucking your dick.

You: Yes. Have your cock in my mouth while I slip in a finger. Suck you off, and use my fingers to make you come really hard.

His response was almost immediate.

He replied.

You sent him your address.

Excitement was pooling in your belly, getting up to put the wine away and chug the rest of your glass. You took a quick shower and slipped your satin robe over your naked body, not seeing a point in putting on anything else.

You opened your closet, getting into the large chest hidden in the back, grabbing what you needed—lube, harness, dildos, clean towel—thankful you’d trimmed and filed your nails the day before, a coat of lavender-colored polish painted on them.

Everything was placed on your giant king-sized bed towards an edge where it was out of the way but still within reach. One of the bedside lamps was turned on to give the room some ambiance.

You weren’t entirely sure what to expect—you weren’t entirely sure if Max had the ability to let you be in control. You’d find out, and he seemed eager to give it all a shot.

Three quick knocks sounded against your front door, and you immediately headed towards it, tightening your robe as you walked. You quickly undid the locks and pulled it open, finding Max leaning against the doorframe in a white v-neck and grey sweats, your eyes spotting the noticeable outline of his dick, arousal stirring in your belly.

Your eyes met his, a smirk on those perfect plush lips of his.

“Is it true I have to invite you in?” You asked. “Like, I have to explicitly give you permission, or else some mystical force keeps you outside?” You leaned into the door, your hand still on the knob.

“Yes,” Max sighed. “Protection barriers or some shit, homes being sanctuaries from malevolent creatures,” he huffed, mildly annoyed.

Your eyebrow rose.

“Are you malevolent, Max?”

The face he gave you could rival that of the smiling purple devil emoji.

“Wish to do evil? No. Wish to destroy your pussy? Yes.”

You rolled your eyes.

“Jesus, Max.”

“Oh, come on, Sweetcheeks. You know how much I want to fuck you—so much, in fact, I’m willing to let you fuck my ass, which isn’t something I’ve let anyone do. Honestly, you should feel pretty fucking special.”

“It’s honestly surprising to me that you’ve had thousands of hookups with women and men, with zero ass play.”

“There’s been ass play, babe, but I’m always the giver if you know what I mean,” he wagged his eyebrows. “Let me in. I wanna see you naked.” His eyes moved salaciously down your body, biting his bottom lip.

“Rules.”

“You’re no fun,” he pouted, meeting your gaze.

“Rules,” you said again. “No, means no. I will ask before I do anything and check in on how you’re feeling. I like to use the color system—red, stop; yellow, slow down; green, go—but also safewords. Do you have one?”

“Mr. Rogers,” he answered without skipping a beat.

You made a face.

“Your safeword is Mr. Rogers?”

“Yes.”

“Okay… I’ll definitely remember that.” You took a breath before you started talking again. “If you need me to stop, slow down, or decide it isn’t your thing, I need you to communicate with me—use a color, your safeword, or just tell me to stop, and I will, zero hesitation, and no bad feelings. I want this to be as good for you as it is for me.”

His eyebrow rose.

“You get off on fucking guys?”

“And women,” you nodded.

His eyes went dark as he gasped out a fuck like he was picturing you with a woman.

“Anything else?” He asked.

“Just don’t make me regret inviting you over.”

He smiled.

“Sweetcheeks, I’m not gonna fuck up my chance to get between your legs, and frankly, I’m curious about what you’re going to do to me. You have my enthusiastic consent to do whatever the fuck you want.”

You opened the door wider, stepping out of the way.

“Max Phillips, you are invited into my home.”

“Come in, would’ve worked,” he said as he entered your apartment.

You got the door shut and locked and turned to find a big hulking vampire crowding into your space, pushing your back into the solid surface as he caged you in.

He looked at you with lust-blown eyes, his tongue sweeping across his bottom lip.

“Can I kiss you?” He asked, voice lower, raspier, his eyes dipping down to look at your tits before meeting your gaze again.

You nodded.

His mouth was on yours immediately, like he couldn’t wait another moment, his hands cradling your face as he hungrily pressed his mouth against yours, swallowing the surprised moan that escaped your throat. You weren’t expecting the softness of his lips or how cool they were, feeling as if he’d just sucked on a popsicle. He deepened the kiss, pushing his tongue into your mouth, sliding against yours in practiced motions that had your toes curling and eyes rolling back.

Butterflies were fluttering in your tummy, which was wholly unexpected—this was Max, your annoying boss, and yet your heart was pounding in your chest—your pussy throbbing at how thoroughly he was kissing you, unable to stop yourself from pushing your fingers into his hair.

He’d ignited some kind of spark inside you, your body lit up as he kissed the breath right out of your lungs, finally breaking it so he could messily kiss along your jawline and down your neck. You were breathing hard, feeling as he inhaled deeply at your pulse point.

“Fuck, you smell good,” he murmured against your skin. He laved at the spot, lightly nipping at it. “I’ve always wanted to taste you.” He grabbed a handful of your ass.

“Another rule,” you panted. “No biting unless I say it’s okay.”

His head came up.

“Sweetcheeks, I’m not gonna bite you unless you beg me to,” he winked.

“Okay,” you nodded.

“Now,” he slapped your ass, making you jump a little. “Where’s the bedroom? I wanna see those pretty lips wrapped around my cock—it’s something I’ve thought about extensively, especially when you’re ordering me around.”

You sighed, pointing towards the open bedroom door.

“Hold on tight, spider monkey.”

“Wha—” the word broke off in a yelp as big hands gripped your thighs, suddenly finding yourself being easily lifted up against his body, your arms scrabbling to wrap around his neck, his mouth crashing against yours as he carried you towards the room with ease, kissing you the whole way.

You were tossed onto the mattress, leaning up to watch him pull his t-shirt off his body, hearing him kick off his shoes and push down his sweats, not even surprised he wasn’t wearing any underwear. You gulped as you took in the sight of his dick—long, thick, curved deliciously—you understood why so many people fucked him; it was a nice cock.

He was awkwardly pulling off his socks.

“This is always the least sexy part of undressing,” he mused, tugging off the last one.

“Not a sex with socks guy?”

His face scrunched up in disgust.

“Who fucks in socks?” He asked. “Unless most of the clothes are on, the socks are coming off—I’m going to be completely naked, thank you very much. Which,” he crawled onto the bed, spreading your legs to kneel between them. “It’s your turn. Let’s even the playing field. I have been dying to see your tits,” he wiggled his eyebrows, grinning.

“God, Max, you’re fucking ridiculous,” you untied the robe and let it fall open, revealing your naked body underneath.

His eyes were burning as they took you in, making you shudder at the intensity. He licked his lips before he moved, shoving his face into your chest hard enough that you fell onto your back. His cool body felt good against your heated skin, his big hands on your boobs, his head nestled between them, as he started shaking it from side to side and humming in the back of his throat.

“Are you fucking motorboating me?” You asked.

He popped up to look at you with a smirk.

“Yes? You’re so fucking warm, and they’re soft.”

“Why do people sleep with you?”

You honestly wanted to know.

“Big dick, practically zero refractory period, super strength, and I fuck like a pro,” he shrugged.

You snorted in disbelief.

He frowned slightly, eyes narrowing.

“Challenge accepted,” he stated.

Your eyebrows furrowed.

“Wha—” You were cut off by lips suddenly on yours, Max moving quicker than you expected, or could even register just one second his head was between your breasts, and the next he was kissing you hard. The first kiss had been impressive, but this one, he was pulling out all the stops, his tongue tangling with yours, biting at your lips, your brain losing focus on everything around you except for the man kissing you as if his life depended on it.

His hips were slotted in the cradle of your thighs, feeling his hard cock pressed into your body, holding himself up on one arm while the other hand moved up your thigh, ghosting his fingertips over your belly and ribs, making goosebumps rise on your skin, as he got to your breast, massaging it before rolling your stiff nipple between his fingers. You moaned as jolts of pleasure shot to your core, feeling yourself dripping with need, clenching hard around nothing when he pinched at the sensitive bud.

He broke the kiss when you needed to breathe, his lips making a path sloppily kissing your jaw and neck, licking and sucking at your skin. You gasped when you felt his fangs graze over your pulse point, surprised when your pussy throbbed, a rumbling chuckle coming from Max like he was aware of your reaction.

The man had worked some kind of magic because you were all hot and bothered, cunt aching to be touched, and seeping arousal. Your skin was heated, your breaths coming out harder, his lips latched around a nipple, and your back arched as you moaned, fingers digging into the bedsheets. He was pinching at your other bud as he continued sucking before switching sides, the sensations making you moan as you began to writhe with need.

His hand skated down your abdomen, making you vibrate in anticipation, wanting him to touch you, him stopping right before he was where you needed him, a pitiful whine pulled from your throat.

He chuckled, and you frowned.

His mouth came off your nipple with a ‘pop,’ looking at you with a raised eyebrow.

“You want me to touch that pretty little pussy? I can smell you. I don’t even need to touch you to know you’re fucking wet.” Those long, thick fingers of his were teasing against your skin in circles. “Want to come on my fingers?”

“You can try,” you answered, not wanting to reveal your neediness.

“Oh, babe, you’re gonna come. As a matter of fact,” he looked at the clock on your bedside table. “I will make you come in less than two minutes.”

“Less than two-Oh,” you moaned as his fingers pushed through your wetness before zeroing in on your clit, the rough pads of his fingertips circling it in a way that had your hips jerking. You were so pent up that you felt that heated pressure building in your core with each movement of his digits. You couldn’t help the soft sounds slipping from your lips, your hands gripped tight against the bedspread as he worked you over.

“You gonna come for me, pretty girl?” Max asked. “You gonna come all over my hand?”

He pushed one thick finger inside you, followed by a second, and a strangled noise sounded from your mouth. His thumb was on your clit as he started pumping his fingers.

“You’re so fucking tight and warm. I really fucking hope you let me fuck this pussy.”

He sped up his fingers and applied more pressure with his thumb, your muscles tightening in your belly.

“Wanna stretch you open on my cock, and feel you come around me. Bet you get so fucking wet.”

You were getting close, winding tighter every second, unable to stop your moans, fingers digging into the bedsheets.

“You like to be in control,” he mused. “Makes you a really fucking good assistant—keeping my ass in check. But,” he leaned down, rubbing his nose along your cheek until his lips were at your ear. “I think sometimes you like someone else in control,” he rasped, nipping at your earlobe and making you shiver. “And I also think,” he crooked his fingers, hitting something blinding, fucking his fingers against it repeatedly, rocketing you towards your climax. His voice went lower. “You want to be a good girl.”

Your orgasm hit you hard, completely blindsiding you as you came with a shout. Your back arched, feeling yourself clench and arousal spill around his digits, pleasure wracking through your body.

“That’s fucking it,” he purred, kissing your cheek. “You did so well for me, pretty girl—soaking my fingers—and we still had thirty seconds to spare.”

He kept working you through your high until you stopped fluttering, opening your eyes in time to watch him bring his fingers to his mouth and suck at them lewdly.

“Mmm, knew you’d taste fucking delicious,” he said around them. He finished, his digits shiny with spit, moving to cup his hand over your pussy, looking at you with a heated gaze. “Can’t wait to eat your wet little cunt. Do you know how many times I’ve fucked my hand thinking about it?”

The orgasmic haze was leaving your brain, your features screwing up in confusion, your voice coming out a little hoarse.

“You’ve jerked off thinking about me?” You asked.

“Sweetheart, you are prime spank bank material, and the way you’re always turning me down? Fuck, I’ve never wanted someone more. Plus, I like you,” he said off-handedly.

“You like me?” You said the words slowly.

“Yeah, I do. A lot, and I trust you. So, I know whatever shit you do to me will be good,” he said earnestly, and you could see in his eyes he meant every word.

You gulped, not expecting such sweet words from Max fucking Phillips.

He was a conceited asshole, who you could’ve reported to HR on many occasions for the shit he said, and yet, you never did because you knew deep down he was harmless. Even though he hit on you constantly, and you’d caught him in many compromising situations, he really was a good boss. He made sure you had everything you needed and did what you asked with only a little complaining. If you needed a day off, you got it. If you showed up to work with a cold, he was sending you home to rest, a delivery of fresh chicken noodle soup following.

You remembered a few months back. There was a creepy new hire who was handsy and made you feel insanely uncomfortable, who’d cornered you alone in the filing room and scared you to death, Max just suddenly appearing out of nowhere. He’d sent you back to your desk, and you never saw the other guy again, assuming he was let go, but now…

“Max?”

“Yeah?”

“What happened to that new hire?”

He looked confused.

“What new hire?”

“The creepy one from the filing room.”

You saw anger flash across his face.

“I ate him,” his tone growly.

“You killed someone for me?”

“I could hear your heart pounding all the way in my fucking office, and the closer I got, could smell your fear. Yes, I killed him,” he stated with zero remorse. “You didn’t feel safe, and that needed to be dealt with.”

This knowledge was doing something to you; knowing the lengths he’d go to protect you was turning you on, feeling the beginnings of arousal in your belly.

You reached out and pulled him down to kiss you, shoving your tongue in his mouth and pushing on his body, him getting the message to pull you on top of him as he laid on his back. He was matching your energy, kissing you just as enthusiastically, his hands tugging your robe off your body, so he could touch your back and ass, his big palms roaming everywhere as you made out.

When you came up for air, you looked at him, seeing his eyes hooded and black with lust, a lazy smile on his lips, as you caught your breath.

“Can I suck your dick?” You asked huskily.

“Fuck yes,” he nodded. “Let me get comfortable. I wanna watch.”

“Okay,” you replied. “I need to get the lube.”

You moved off of him to get the bottle on the other side of the bed while he stacked pillows behind himself and settled with his back against them at the head of the bed, spreading his legs, his dick hard and resting against his stomach. You laid down on your stomach in the space he made, keeping the lube close as you ran your hands up his thighs. He had his bottom lip between his teeth as you rubbed along his hips before taking his cock in your hand, surprised for a moment with how it felt.

“Your dick’s cold,” you said, looking up at him.

It was velvety smooth and hard like iron but cold—not even room temperature, absolutely zero heat, that you hadn’t noticed when he was on top of you.

“I’m a vampire,” he answered by way of explanation.

“I just figured if you could get hard, there was some kind of blood flow, and I don’t know, warmth from said blood flow?”

“I don’t question the science behind being able to get a boner. I simply thank the powers that be for allowing me to fuck, and I use the gift at every opportunity.”

That was a very Max thing to say, and you couldn’t argue with his logic.

“I’m aware,” you replied. You started stroking his length, his hips bucking. “Now, while I’m going down on you, I’m going to slip a finger in slowly—just relax. Your immediate thought will be to clench but don’t. Once you’re nice and relaxed and taking that first finger, I’ll put in a second and finally a third.”

He nodded.

“Got it, Sweetheart. I’ll do as Frankie said and relax, 'cause I wanna come,” he winked.

You snorted.

“Those aren’t the lyrics.”

“Paraphrasing.”

You kissed the tip of his cock, and he sucked in a breath.

Grabbing the lube, you put some in your palm and started stroking him, your hand easily gliding down his shaft as you wrapped your lips around the head, teasing your tongue against all of his sensitive spots, making his hips buck up.

“Fuck,” he moaned. “Shit, your mouth is so fucking warm.”

You understood his obsession with warmth now; he was probably always cold.

You came off him, looking up at him through your lashes.

“You’ve got a pretty dick,” you said.

“I know.”

You rolled your eyes.

“You know how you made me come quick?” You asked.

“Yeah?” He smirked.

“Once I get my fingers inside you, it’s your turn,” you said before taking him into your mouth and hollowing your cheeks.

Max moaned loudly, a hand landing on your head.

Your eyes were on him, seeing his mouth open and eyebrows furrowed, watching you with a hungry gaze. You started bobbing, taking him further and further into your mouth, before coming up and licking a wide stripe from base to tip, swirling your tongue around it, and engulfing him once more.

“You look so fucking hot with my dick in your mouth,” his voice had dropped lower, raspier. “Such a pretty fucking girl, sucking my cock.”

You were moving your head up and down, getting him further and further in your mouth until you swallowed around him, tears leaking from your eyes as your nose brushed the curls at his base.

The low groan that rumbled from his chest had a shiver moving down your spine.

“Better than I ever fucking imagined,” his voice was strained. His hand moved to your throat, feeling himself bulging. “Fucking taking my dick in your throat, so fucking good to me.”

You had to breathe coming off of him with a gasp, a line of saliva connecting you to him.

“Fucking gorgeous,” he rasped, rubbing a thumb along your wet lower lip, his eyes glazed over.

His hand ended up back on your head as you took him back into your mouth, working him over while you grabbed the lube, squirting a generous amount onto your fingers, getting slicked up.

You had one hand stroking what your mouth couldn’t fit, and your lubed-up fingers moved, gently grazing his hole, Max jolting from the sudden contact.

“Relax,” you reminded before taking him back in your mouth.

You were swirling your fingers, getting him nice and slick, your mouth and hand continuing to work him. Once you were satisfied, you slowly started pressing in a finger.

“Oh, fuck,” Max gasped.

His hips thrust forward, making you choke a little, but you quickly recovered, feeling him fluttering around your digit as you pushed it in—tight as a vice—having to wiggle to get it all the way in, and watching his face, seeing the slight discomfort at first before his face relaxed, his mouth going slack.

“It’s not too bad,” he rasped.

Your head came up.

“Color?” You asked.

“Green. So fucking green.”

You smiled.

“You’re doing so good for me. Here comes the second. Just relax. There will be a stretch.”

“Relax. I can do that,” he nodded, eyes hooded as he watched.

You started sucking him off again as you slowly fingered him, getting him used to the foreign feeling before pressing in your second, him doing better to relax this time, arching his back as he groaned.

“Fuck, fuck, fuck,” he panted.

Your fingers were moving in him, working him until he was moaning, and you thought he was ready for the third, pulling off of him to speak.

“Color?”

“Green. Give me the third.”

He looked a little excited, and it elated you that he was enjoying himself.

“Love the enthusiasm.”

You knew this one would be the hardest, so you distracted him with your mouth and hand again while working your fingers, getting him to the point that he was babbling praise, and finally, you pressed in the last finger.

A loud, long moan was pulled from his mouth, his eyes squeezing shut, his dick twitching in your mouth as you pushed in all the way. He pressed a hand over his face, his other gripped tight on the blanket.

Your hand stilled, letting him accommodate the intrusion, focusing on blowing him, tonguing the underside, and circling the tip, over and over again, Max having to clutch at the bed with both hands and groaning.

Finally, you started moving your fingers again, fucking him open slowly, his hips bucking into your mouth.

“Why does this feel so fucking good?” He gasped.

You twisted your fingers a bit, scissored them, really making sure he was loose, his body shivering as you did it. Max attempted to speak but couldn’t make words, whining moans falling from his lips as you kept working, delighting you that he was rendered speechless for the first time since you’d met him.

It was time for the finale, and you were dripping with excitement. You knowingly crooked your fingers to hit that one spot inside him, pressing into it, and immediately, Max was spilling into your mouth—coming so hard his back arched, fingers gripping your bedding with enough force to rip the blankets, shouting your name in a strangled cry. You swallowed down his salty taste, an odd sensation that it was cold as you drank down every drop before coming off of him with a smile, feeling good about what you’d done.

Max sunk into the pillows behind him, eyes closed, looking absolutely blissed out and not even bothering to pretend to breathe. You didn’t know if he lost consciousness; he was as still as a statue—la petite mort personified, and it made you giggle as you pulled your fingers out of him, leaning to grab the towel to wipe them clean.

Your attention moved back to Max, seeing the torn blankets, and you briefly wondered if you could get away with charging new ones to the company credit card. You’d have to remember to ask him later.

“So,” you started. “What did you think?” You asked after a minute.

He peeked one eye open to look at you.

“I think I’m in love with you,” the words came out dreamily.

You laughed.

“You came that hard?”

“Marry me.”

You snorted.

“I’m not marrying you.”

“Have my vampire babies.”

“You can’t have children.” You paused. “Wait, you can’t have children, right?”

He frowned.

“No, I can’t,” he answered sadly. “Sperm are dead.” He sighed, closing his eye again.

It had never crossed your mind that Max would ever want to be a father.

“You know what that means?” You asked.

He blinked open both eyes, all feline-like, as he looked at you.

“What?” He asked.

“You can come inside me.”

You watched his face slowly light up, a big grin spreading on his lips.

“I can fuck you?” He asked, sounding excited.

You smirked.

“Max Phillips, you are invited into my pussy.”

He tried to hold in the laughter, but it just burst from him, loud guffaws, his eyes crinkling and dimple showing, his mirth making you laugh.

It took you a minute to both calm down.

He leaned forward and grabbed you, easily bringing you into his lap, kissing you the moment your faces were close. His hands cradled your jaw, slipping his tongue into your mouth, tangling it with your own, the two of you making out until it heated up and his hands were all over your body.

His eyes were dark pools when he pulled back to look at you.

“I want you to fuck me,” his voice was a deep timbre that had a tingle moving down your spine. You could feel him already hard beneath you.

“How do you want it?” You asked.

“Doggy?”

“Okay, let me get set up.”

You kissed him quickly before moving off the bed and putting everything on, going with the smaller of the two dildos.

Max was already getting into position when you crawled back onto the mattress, his head towards the headboard, ass facing you. There was just something about having a powerful vampire willing to get on his knees for you that had your body thrumming.

You moved in behind him, running a hand down his spine, making him shiver under your touch before you admired his rear, your hands massaging the plump flesh.

“Color?” You asked.

He looked over his shoulder, smiling.

“Green, babe!” He wiggled his ass. “I want you inside me.”

“If you want me to stop anytime, just say so.”

“I’ve got it, Sweetheart,” he winked before facing forward.

You grabbed the lube, pouring a good amount on his hole, and the black silicone cock settled against your center, getting it nice and slick with your hand. You had to admit, it was a bit heady, being in this position, knowing you were going to be the one to bring your partner pleasure, being in complete control.

Your hand smoothed along his spine again.

“You ready, Max?”

“Yep! So fucking ready. Put it in!”

You pressed the tip of the silicone against his opening and slowly started pressing in, Max loudly moaning, and you loved watching it disappear inside him.

The tip was in, and you paused, Max still making sounds that had your pussy throbbing.

“Is it too much?” You asked, squeezing his hip.

“Fuck,” he moaned. “Fuck, it’s so good. More.”

The tone of his voice had you grinning as you pulled the tip almost all the way out and started pushing back in, doing this a few times with Max making noises that were almost inhuman before you started working in more of the fake cock.

Inch by inch, you slowly made your way inside until you felt a little bit of resistance and paused.

“You’re clenching, baby,” you purred, rubbing his hip bones. “Relax.”

“Sorry,” his voice was strained, relaxing enough that you could keep going. “God, it feels so fucking good.”

“I know,” you cooed. “You’re doing so good for me,” continuing to push in.

The sounds he was making were akin to manic moaning, clearly hearing how good he was feeling, making a thrill move through you.

“Fuck,” he cried. “Oh, fuck. Babe, it’s so good.”

Finally, you were all the way in, your hips flush against his ass, marveling for a moment at how it stretched him open.

He fell forward onto his elbows, whining out a long fuck.

“It’s so deep,” he panted. “Is it all the way in?”

“Yes. You good?”

“So, good. So, fucking good,” he moaned.

“Ready for me to move?”

“Please,” he whined.

You started moving, pulling almost all the way out and pushing back in, going slow at first, Max mewling with each stroke. It sounded like he was losing his mind in pleasure, the noises making your cunt clench, the harness rubbing deliciously against your clit, shooting sparks to your core, and you couldn’t help it when you moaned.

“You like this, pretty girl?” Max asked, the words raspy and breathy. “You like fucking me?”

“Yes,” you answered, speeding up your thrusts and making him tremble, his head falling forward as the deranged moaning got louder.

It was hot, having this man turn to putty underneath you and hearing the noises he was making, knowing you were making him feel that good. You had a good rhythm, gliding in and out of him smoothly, hearing the wet slap of your skin hitting his, your fingers digging into his hips for leverage.

There was that familiar build in your core, harness rubbing just right, and everything you were doing spurring you on, pounding the silicone into him.

“Oh, babe,” he whimpered. “Oh, fuck. I’m drooling.”

Heavy breaths were coming out of your mouth as you adjusted your angle, pulling a sound from Max you were sure the neighbors would complain about, focusing on that point, fucking into him, and making him keen underneath you.

“Fuck,” he gasped. “Oh, fuck. I love you. I fucking love you.”

You couldn’t help but laugh as you kept pace.

“No, you don’t, Max,” you panted.

“I need to touch you—need to feel you,” he begged.

“Sit up on your knees.”

He did as you asked, his back pressed against your front, as you fucked into him, holding an arm around his torso, while your other hand reached to grab his cock, Max shuddering as you started stroking him, him reaching behind to grab your hip.

“Thank you,” he moaned. “Thank you.”

The muscles in your belly were tightening, so worked up from everything you were doing to him and making him feel. His hips were pushing forward into your hand while you kept thrusting into him, nonsense babbling from his mouth, his cock throbbing in your touch, knowing he was close.

Your hand was moving slickly over his length, precum steadily dripping from the tip. Max was so overcome with everything he started laughing manically, interspersed with moans.

"God, I wish I could kiss you," he whined.

There was something about the desperation in his voice that had a hot spike of arousal shooting to your core, loving how even in his pleasure-addled state, he couldn’t stop thinking about you—making you feel some type of way, and you liked it. You loved this man coming undone beneath you, pulling him apart, and the fact he trusted you so much.

You adjusted your angle, again and again, until a full-body shiver moved through Max, and he gasped out an oh, fuck, his legs trembling. You zeroed in on it, hard short thrusts, his fingers digging into the skin of your hip, whimpering loudly.

“You gonna come for me, Max?” You murmured. “You gonna be a good boy and come for me?”

The sound he made would make a pornstar blush, his back arching as he came, ropes, and ropes of his come, spilling over your hand, and it sent you over the edge with him, coming with a moan of his name as you sank your teeth into his back, euphoria coursing through your veins.

Max fell forward on the bed, and you went with him, his cool skin feeling nice on your sweaty body.

He was solid beneath you, making no sound, not moving, doing his impression of an unliving statue again. Your ear was pressed against his back, and it was weird not hearing the thumping of a heartbeat. It took you a minute to recover and your breaths to even out. You gently and carefully pulled out of him, rolling to lay beside him, his face turned towards you, eyes closed.

It was strange how comfortable you felt with him—how safe. He could probably kill you in the blink of an eye, and yet you knew deep down he would never harm you. You’d always known that. You couldn’t help yourself, reaching out to rub your fingers through his hair, hearing him make an almost purring sound.

An arm grabbed your waist and pulled you against his body, him moving onto his side to hold you against him, your face shoved into his chest.

“Is that a flashlight in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me?” Max asked, his voice hoarse.

You snorted, the dildo wedged between both of your bodies.

“He lives. Did you enjoy yourself?”

“Ariana Grande was right,” Max mused.

“What?” You asked in a confused tone.

“God is a woman, and she wears a strap.”

“Oh my god, Max,” you laughed. “So, you liked it?”

He leaned back to look at you.

“You up for round two?” He asked.

“You want me to fuck you again?”

“On my back this time,” he nodded.

“Yeah, baby, I’ll fuck you.”

His hand moved to the back of your head to pull you in, kissing you hard. He was quickly licking into your mouth and making you moan. When he finally broke it, he looked at you with dark eyes, simmering with want.

“When you’re done making me meet god again,” his voice was low and husky. “It’s your turn.”

“I thought god was a woman with a strap? I don’t see any ladies here to show me a good time,” you smirked.

“That’s my god. You’re going to find out your god is a big dicked vampire who’s going to make you squirt on his first try.”

Your eyebrow rose.

“You really think you’re that good?”

The look he gave you was full of promise and made you clench.

“Oh, Sweetheart, I know I’m that good, and soon you’ll believe it.”

“You can try.”

“And I’ll succeed,” he kissed you passionately. “Give you the proper worship you deserve,” he murmured against your lips.

He pulled back to look at you.

“But first,” he said. “I want you to fuck my brains out, and I want to stare at your tits while you do it.”

You sighed.

“And kiss you,” he added, giving you puppy dog eyes.

“You wanna try the bigger dildo?”

He thought it over for a second.

“Bring it on,” he nodded. “Ruin me, Sweetheart.”

Part 2 - Masterlist

Thank you for reading! If you’d like to be tagged in my fics, please fill out the form in my bio, on my masterlist, or just let me know! 

Tagging: @daddydindjarin @absurdthirst @kirsteng42 @littlemisspascal @athalien @thevoiceinyourheadx @elegantduckturtle @harriedandharassed @girlofchaos @mswarriorbabe80 @spanishmossmagnolia @star017 @javier-penas-wife @artsymaddie @hansolosleftbuttcheekk @deadhumourist @pretty-brown-eyess @hotchlover @eternallyvenus @allfoolsinluv @eppy816 @katareyoudrilling @babykangaemoji @punkerthanpascal @breezythesimp @bruxasolta @peachyaeger @din-jarhead @lovesbiggerthanpride @loonymagizoologist @pinebeam @spacenerdpascal @padbrookcottage @karlawithacapitalk @trickstersp8 @that-friend-in-the-corner @iamskyereads @beskarprincessjenny @beecastle @manuymesut @alexxavicry @leithatnight @trinkets01 @boiistfu @pedropascalsx @kulicny @xoxabs88xox @enjoyourlattebitch

[wheresarizona]

but now I’m your daisy

summary: It’s a random Thursday in the middle of spring, and Joel has a surprise for you—a surprise that’s an hour away from Jackson on horseback, that he insists on blindfolding you for.

pairing: Joel Miller/gn!reader (reader has smaller hands than Joel)

rating: T (No y/n, AGE GAP (unspecified, reader is an adult), Grumpy Joel Miller, a lil Possessive Joel Miller, FLUFF, it’s so fluffy, established relationship, kissing, purposely annoying Joel until he snaps at you, Joel being secretly romantic, MARRIAGE PROPOSAL (it’s so cute), cussing, did I mention fluff? Joel being so in love, Joel being the best dad to Ellie)

word count: 2.5k+

a/n: This can be read as a standalone or in the same universe as ‘but I would die for you in secret.’ An anon requested a ‘fluffy cute fic with an age gap (No smut)’ for Joel, and this extremely cute idea came to me that I wrote in one night. Shoutout to @littlemisspascal who loved the snippets I sent her, and thank you to the love of my life, @juletheghoul for betaing!

Thank you for reading! Comments and reblogs feed me. I’d love to know what you thought!

but I would die for you in secret - Masterlist

“Are we there yet?” you ask for the thirteenth time in the span of an hour.

It’s the perfect spring day with the temperature outside not too hot and not too cold, the air feeling a little crisp when it fills your nose. The sun’s warmth is hitting your back, and you’re sure that if you could see the sky, it’d be a beautiful, clear, cerulean blue��you can’t see, though, not with the bandana over your eyes as you sit astride a horse, Joel on his own next to you holding his reins and yours to lead you.

His sigh is long and loud, and you can picture perfectly without having to look at his annoyed expression.

“No,” he growls. “The same damn answer as the last dozen or so times you asked.”

“Hey, don’t get mad at me—you haven’t spent an hour literally in the dark with no idea where the hell you’re going.”

“And I’ve told you it’s a surprise,” he rumbles.

“Well, are we close to this surprise?”

He sighs again, and you just know he’s got the fingers of his free hand pressed to his brow. “I swear, you’re just as bad as Ellie—neither of you seems to understand what a fuckin’ surprise is.” He takes a deep breath and slowly lets it out. “Now,” he says calmly, “I don’t know why you’re purposely pushin’ my buttons—”

“You ate the last of the ice cream last night,” you interrupt. “The ice cream I worked hard to make that I was excited to eat as a late-night snack.”

“You gotta be fuckin’ kiddin’ me—how many times do I have to apologize? I’m sorry. I didn’t know you were savin’ it, and had I known, I wouldn’t have eaten it. Will you please forgive me?”

“Did I annoy you enough that the thought crossed your mind to take us back home?”

“Yes.”

“And you didn’t because you love me so much you’ll put up with my shit?”

“Yes.”

“Then I forgive you. Can I ask a question that has nothing to do with the distance we are from the surprise?”

He lets out a relieved breath, and his tone softens. “Of course, honey.”

Without fail, every time he calls you a sweet endearment, you melt a little, feeling so soft you might turn into a puddle.

You’re smiling. “What made you choose today to surprise me? It’s kinda random that it’s a Thursday, and you didn’t wait for the weekend when we’re usually off.” You taught at the school, and Joel did whatever he was assigned each day; lately, it’s been a lot of patrolling.

“Do you know what today’s date is?”

The question makes you think because you do know the date, and it’s not your, his, or Ellie’s birthday; it’s not a holiday that you’re aware of, either, and frankly, you’re not quite sure what the significance is.

“I do, but what’s so special about it?”

“What were you doin’ last year around this time?”

“Um, what was I doing? Wait, it’s around when I moved to Jackson.”

“That’s right, and who’d you meet a little after you arrived?”

“A lot of people.”

“Jesus Christ,” he breathes in exasperation. “Baby, when did you meet me?”

“Like two, three days after I moved into the house across the street from you.”

“And what happened when we met?”

The memory makes you smirk. “I seduced you—my sexy, way older, single dad neighbor.”

“That’s true—I was gone on you from the moment you batted those pretty eyes at me, and who were you romantically involved with from that day forward?”

Your eyebrows furrow. “You.”

“Was there anyone else?” It’s a harmless question he knows the answer to and is honestly humorous even to be asked.

You snort. “Why would I have wanted to be with anyone else when I had you? No, of course not, and you were very clear that I was yours and only yours, even if nobody else knew for quite some time.”

Your relationship with him was a secret for many months because he didn’t want Ellie to know—he was worried she wouldn’t take it well, but she ended up being completely fine with it and had figured out the two of you were a thing, pretty much from the beginning.

“So, it’s a year from the day you became mine,” he says, “why would I be takin’ you somewhere special?”

The realization slams into so hard you gasp.

“Are we celebrating the anniversary of when we first met?!”

It’s clear in his voice he’s smiling. “We are—I know we did things ass-backward, and I wish I could’ve courted you properly from the beginnin’, but I consider that first time we met as the start of our unconventional relationship.”

Warmth is spreading through your body at how sweet this is.

“Oh my god, Joel—if I could, I’d kiss you right now!”

“Well, you’re in luck, my love, ‘cause we’re finally here.” Your horse comes to a stop, the animal snorting as its front hooves shuffle in place. “You can look.”

You lower the bandana, and your eyes widen at what’s in front of you: it’s a meadow of colorful wildflowers—the lush green grass overshadowed by the yellows, pinks, purples, whites, and blues blooming thickly everywhere, tall pine trees lining the edges, and snow-capped mountains towering high off in the distance.

You’ve never seen anything so beautiful, and it takes your breath away.

There’s movement out of the corner of your eye of Joel getting off his horse, and you’re too focused on taking in all of the scenery, seeing butterflies fluttering around and birds gliding through the air.

“Well?” he asks, and you jolt at his voice coming from the opposite side of where he was initially. “Sorry for spookin’ ya, baby.” He rubs a hand along your jean-covered thigh, and your head tilts down his way. Joel’s eyes look hopeful, and a small smile is on his lips—he’s wearing a red flannel and has a rifle on his back, the light breeze causing some of his gray strands of hair to dance atop his head. “What do you think?” he asks.

Your answer is to get off the horse, Joel’s hands immediately grabbing onto your waist to steady you as you swing your leg over the back of the animal, one foot landing on the ground, then the other—you spin around, throwing your arms around his neck, and crush your lips to his, swallowing his surprised sound. He’s automatically hugging you to him, and you never feel safer than when he holds you, knowing without a doubt he won’t let anything happen to you and will protect you with everything he has; you’d do the same for him and Ellie, the two most important people in your life.

When you break apart, your breaths come out a little heavier, and with the way he’s gazing into your eyes, you can clearly see his love for you shining through.

His hand caresses your cheek. “A good surprise?” he asks.

Your mouth is grinning as you nod. “The best surprise and worth an hour in the dark.” You hold his face as you lean in, placing loud, smacking kisses over his stubbled cheeks, along his jaw, on his chin, and lips. Joel chuckles at your enthusiasm, and you end with a peck to the tip of his nose.

“There’s more,” he says.

Your eyes go big. “What do you mean there’s more?”

“Let me tie up the horses, and I’ll show you.”

He moves away to do as he said, using ropes to tie around each of their two front legs to hobble them and keep them in place, allowing them to graze.

Joel isn’t kidding about there being more: he removes a blanket roll from his saddle that he spreads out on a patch of grass, and from his backpack, he takes out containers with strawberries, apples, cheese, some smoked meat and to drink, a bottle of apple juice made in Jackson.

He sits on the blanket, his long legs out in front of him, the food on one side of him, his rifle, and your shotgun that’d been holstered in a scabbard attached to your saddle within reach on the ground. He makes you giggle as he pulls you down into his lap, sitting sideways across it, his arms wrapping around your middle, while your hands go into the hair at the back of his head, his eyes locked on yours.

Something hard is poking you in the ass. “Is that a flashlight in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me?” you ask with a wag of your eyebrows.

Joel huffs out an amused breath as he gets his hand under you and pulls his sheathed hunting knife off of his belt, tossing it next to the rifle and shotgun.

“Better?” he asks with a raised eyebrow.

“Yes.” You kiss his cheek. “Much better—thank you.” You stare at his handsome face and brush his messy bangs off his forehead—Joel grabs your hand, keeping his gaze on yours as he kisses the skin on the inside of your wrist, leaving behind tingles where his lips touch.

“If Ellie knew how secretly romantic you are,” you say, “she’d give you even more shit than she already does.”

His eyes roll, and he holds your smaller hand in his bigger one, pressing it to his heart.

“Wanna know a secret?” he asks.

“Always.”

“She avoids teasin’ me about our relationship and how I am with you—I mean, if she sees us kiss, she’ll pretend to get sick, but that’s just how teenagers are.” He shrugs. “She slips up every once in a while, and that’s expected; I think her tryin’ her best not to shit on my happiness is her sweet way of bein’ supportive.” He’s smiling fondly. “She’s the one who suggested a picnic.”

Your face matches his. “You discussed your secret anniversary plans with her?”

“Yes.” He nods. “'cause Tommy’s idea of celebratin’ was stayin’ in bed all day naked, and it made me wonder for the millionth time why the fuck Maria married his ass.”

You laugh. “And that’s pretty much a regular Saturday for us when Ellie stays at Cat’s—” Her girlfriend’s. “—for the weekend.”

He’s got an arm around your back and lets go of your hand, reaching to pluck a dandelion from the grass at the edge of the blanket.

“Exactly,” he says, “needed to do somethin’ special, and I found this place a few weeks ago while on patrol and knew you’d love it.” His eyes squint a little as his attention turns to what’s in front of him.

“I do, I love it so much.” You look around at the flowers, trees, and mountains. “It’s so beautiful!”

“Yeah, it is.” You face him again, finding his gaze already on you.

He does this often, where when you seek him out—be it at the crowded bar on a Friday night, the busy mess hall at breakfast before work, while you’re cuddled on the couch watching a movie—he’s already looking at you before your eyes land on his. It’s like you’re the only thing that exists, and you find it both lovely and insane that he loves you that much.

The other person who steals his attention is Ellie—she’s his whole world, and that’s how it should be; she’s his kid, and if Joel’s one thing, he’s a fantastic father who loves his children more than anything.

“You’ve ruined me for anyone else, Joel Miller,” you tell him, clutching his shirt with your left hand. “I love you, I love your daughter, I love the life we have, and I’m sorry, but you’re stuck with me for the rest of your life—you’re mine, and I’ll fight anyone or anything that tries to take you from me.”

“Yeah?” He takes your hand from his shirt and presses your palms together between you, making your own look so tiny with how much longer and thicker his fingers are. “Well,” he starts, your eyes closing when he leans in to nudge his nose against yours, “you’ve sure ruined me for anyone else, too, and you’re it for me—I love you, I love that you really do care about my kid, and how you make our lives better,” he rasps softly. “No one else can have you ‘cause you belong to me as I belong to you, so I see this only goin’ one way.”

“And where’s that?” you whisper.

His hand leaves yours for a moment.

“With you marryin’ me,” he says and slips something onto your ring finger—your eyes fly open seeing he’s tied the dandelion stem to make a loop your finger can fit through, the vibrant yellow flower a pretty substitute for a real diamond ring that are hard to find these days; this is Joel doing something how it was done when he was younger because, to him, it’s the right way, even though nowadays engagements are simply a verbal agreement rarely accompanied by jewelry. Or this is Joel just being romantically old-fashioned; you love it when he’s romantically old-fashioned.

Your cheeks are hurting from smiling so big, and tears are brimming in your eyes.

“If you’ll have me, of course,” he adds, and you look at him. “I know I’ve been alive a long fuckin’ time and that you can do better than someone as old as me, but I promise I’ll give you my everythin’ and the best life I can because you’re the one I wanna spend whatever time I have left breathin’ with.” The truth is evident in his chocolate-colored gaze, seeing the glimmer of hope in the dark pools. “As long as it’s somethin’ you’d want. It’s fine if you prefer we keep doin’ things as we have been without you takin’ my last name—I’m lucky enough that you like me.”

“Ask me,” you say.

His eyebrows pull together. “Ask you what…?”

“To marry you—in all the sweet things you said, you didn’t ask the question.”

His cheeks pink up, and he scratches the back of his neck. “That’s fuckin’ embarrassin’. Not much of a proposal if you don’t ask the question—sorry—let me try this again.” He clears his throat and takes your hand, being careful of the dandelion ring, his eyes seeming to get bigger. “Will you marry me?”

“Yes,” you answer immediately, and he rewards you with a smile big enough for his very seldom-seen dimple to make an appearance.

Then his large palms are cradling your face, and he’s kissing you like he’s just come home after being away for a while, and can’t believe he’s finally feeling your lips against his once more—he’s savoring every second and being so thorough it makes you go dizzy, your skin heating beneath your clothes.

This is one of those unforgettable kisses that will make you swoon each time it comes to mind in the years to come.

And this man asked you to marry him.

Settling down in Jackson was the best decision you’ve ever made.

but I would die for you in secret - Masterlist

Thank you for reading! If you’d like to be tagged in my fics, please fill out the form in my bio, on my masterlist, or just let me know! 

[wheresarizona]

no idea how i manage to come across new for me old pictures of pedro when i think i’ve seen them ALL except for like his fucking sonogram and yet here we are

[wheresarizona]

Mando Monday!!

[wheresarizona]

HAPPY 49th BIRTHDAY PEDRO PASCAL 🎂 April 2, 1975 - Santiago, Chile️️

[wheresarizona]

but now I’m your daisy

summary: It’s a random Thursday in the middle of spring, and Joel has a surprise for you—a surprise that’s an hour away from Jackson on horseback, that he insists on blindfolding you for.

pairing: Joel Miller/gn!reader (reader has smaller hands than Joel)

rating: T (No y/n, AGE GAP (unspecified, reader is an adult), Grumpy Joel Miller, a lil Possessive Joel Miller, FLUFF, it’s so fluffy, established relationship, kissing, purposely annoying Joel until he snaps at you, Joel being secretly romantic, MARRIAGE PROPOSAL (it’s so cute), cussing, did I mention fluff? Joel being so in love, Joel being the best dad to Ellie)

word count: 2.5k+

a/n: This can be read as a standalone or in the same universe as ‘but I would die for you in secret.’ An anon requested a ‘fluffy cute fic with an age gap (No smut)’ for Joel, and this extremely cute idea came to me that I wrote in one night. Shoutout to @littlemisspascal who loved the snippets I sent her, and thank you to the love of my life, @juletheghoul for betaing!

Thank you for reading! Comments and reblogs feed me. I’d love to know what you thought!

but I would die for you in secret - Masterlist

“Are we there yet?” you ask for the thirteenth time in the span of an hour.

It’s the perfect spring day with the temperature outside not too hot and not too cold, the air feeling a little crisp when it fills your nose. The sun’s warmth is hitting your back, and you’re sure that if you could see the sky, it’d be a beautiful, clear, cerulean blue—you can’t see, though, not with the bandana over your eyes as you sit astride a horse, Joel on his own next to you holding his reins and yours to lead you.

His sigh is long and loud, and you can picture perfectly without having to look at his annoyed expression.

“No,” he growls. “The same damn answer as the last dozen or so times you asked.”

“Hey, don’t get mad at me—you haven’t spent an hour literally in the dark with no idea where the hell you’re going.”

“And I’ve told you it’s a surprise,” he rumbles.

“Well, are we close to this surprise?”

He sighs again, and you just know he’s got the fingers of his free hand pressed to his brow. “I swear, you’re just as bad as Ellie—neither of you seems to understand what a fuckin’ surprise is.” He takes a deep breath and slowly lets it out. “Now,” he says calmly, “I don’t know why you’re purposely pushin’ my buttons—”

“You ate the last of the ice cream last night,” you interrupt. “The ice cream I worked hard to make that I was excited to eat as a late-night snack.”

“You gotta be fuckin’ kiddin’ me—how many times do I have to apologize? I’m sorry. I didn’t know you were savin’ it, and had I known, I wouldn’t have eaten it. Will you please forgive me?”

“Did I annoy you enough that the thought crossed your mind to take us back home?”

“Yes.”

“And you didn’t because you love me so much you’ll put up with my shit?”

“Yes.”

“Then I forgive you. Can I ask a question that has nothing to do with the distance we are from the surprise?”

He lets out a relieved breath, and his tone softens. “Of course, honey.”

Without fail, every time he calls you a sweet endearment, you melt a little, feeling so soft you might turn into a puddle.

You’re smiling. “What made you choose today to surprise me? It’s kinda random that it’s a Thursday, and you didn’t wait for the weekend when we’re usually off.” You taught at the school, and Joel did whatever he was assigned each day; lately, it’s been a lot of patrolling.

“Do you know what today’s date is?”

The question makes you think because you do know the date, and it’s not your, his, or Ellie’s birthday; it’s not a holiday that you’re aware of, either, and frankly, you’re not quite sure what the significance is.

“I do, but what’s so special about it?”

“What were you doin’ last year around this time?”

“Um, what was I doing? Wait, it’s around when I moved to Jackson.”

“That’s right, and who’d you meet a little after you arrived?”

“A lot of people.”

“Jesus Christ,” he breathes in exasperation. “Baby, when did you meet me?”

“Like two, three days after I moved into the house across the street from you.”

“And what happened when we met?”

The memory makes you smirk. “I seduced you—my sexy, way older, single dad neighbor.”

“That’s true—I was gone on you from the moment you batted those pretty eyes at me, and who were you romantically involved with from that day forward?”

Your eyebrows furrow. “You.”

“Was there anyone else?” It’s a harmless question he knows the answer to and is honestly humorous even to be asked.

You snort. “Why would I have wanted to be with anyone else when I had you? No, of course not, and you were very clear that I was yours and only yours, even if nobody else knew for quite some time.”

Your relationship with him was a secret for many months because he didn’t want Ellie to know—he was worried she wouldn’t take it well, but she ended up being completely fine with it and had figured out the two of you were a thing, pretty much from the beginning.

“So, it’s a year from the day you became mine,” he says, “why would I be takin’ you somewhere special?”

The realization slams into so hard you gasp.

“Are we celebrating the anniversary of when we first met?!”

It’s clear in his voice he’s smiling. “We are—I know we did things ass-backward, and I wish I could’ve courted you properly from the beginnin’, but I consider that first time we met as the start of our unconventional relationship.”

Warmth is spreading through your body at how sweet this is.

“Oh my god, Joel—if I could, I’d kiss you right now!”

“Well, you’re in luck, my love, ‘cause we’re finally here.” Your horse comes to a stop, the animal snorting as its front hooves shuffle in place. “You can look.”

You lower the bandana, and your eyes widen at what’s in front of you: it’s a meadow of colorful wildflowers—the lush green grass overshadowed by the yellows, pinks, purples, whites, and blues blooming thickly everywhere, tall pine trees lining the edges, and snow-capped mountains towering high off in the distance.

You’ve never seen anything so beautiful, and it takes your breath away.

There’s movement out of the corner of your eye of Joel getting off his horse, and you’re too focused on taking in all of the scenery, seeing butterflies fluttering around and birds gliding through the air.

“Well?” he asks, and you jolt at his voice coming from the opposite side of where he was initially. “Sorry for spookin’ ya, baby.” He rubs a hand along your jean-covered thigh, and your head tilts down his way. Joel’s eyes look hopeful, and a small smile is on his lips—he’s wearing a red flannel and has a rifle on his back, the light breeze causing some of his gray strands of hair to dance atop his head. “What do you think?” he asks.

Your answer is to get off the horse, Joel’s hands immediately grabbing onto your waist to steady you as you swing your leg over the back of the animal, one foot landing on the ground, then the other—you spin around, throwing your arms around his neck, and crush your lips to his, swallowing his surprised sound. He’s automatically hugging you to him, and you never feel safer than when he holds you, knowing without a doubt he won’t let anything happen to you and will protect you with everything he has; you’d do the same for him and Ellie, the two most important people in your life.

When you break apart, your breaths come out a little heavier, and with the way he’s gazing into your eyes, you can clearly see his love for you shining through.

His hand caresses your cheek. “A good surprise?” he asks.

Your mouth is grinning as you nod. “The best surprise and worth an hour in the dark.” You hold his face as you lean in, placing loud, smacking kisses over his stubbled cheeks, along his jaw, on his chin, and lips. Joel chuckles at your enthusiasm, and you end with a peck to the tip of his nose.

“There’s more,” he says.

Your eyes go big. “What do you mean there’s more?”

“Let me tie up the horses, and I’ll show you.”

He moves away to do as he said, using ropes to tie around each of their two front legs to hobble them and keep them in place, allowing them to graze.

Joel isn’t kidding about there being more: he removes a blanket roll from his saddle that he spreads out on a patch of grass, and from his backpack, he takes out containers with strawberries, apples, cheese, some smoked meat and to drink, a bottle of apple juice made in Jackson.

He sits on the blanket, his long legs out in front of him, the food on one side of him, his rifle, and your shotgun that’d been holstered in a scabbard attached to your saddle within reach on the ground. He makes you giggle as he pulls you down into his lap, sitting sideways across it, his arms wrapping around your middle, while your hands go into the hair at the back of his head, his eyes locked on yours.

Something hard is poking you in the ass. “Is that a flashlight in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me?” you ask with a wag of your eyebrows.

Joel huffs out an amused breath as he gets his hand under you and pulls his sheathed hunting knife off of his belt, tossing it next to the rifle and shotgun.

“Better?” he asks with a raised eyebrow.

“Yes.” You kiss his cheek. “Much better—thank you.” You stare at his handsome face and brush his messy bangs off his forehead—Joel grabs your hand, keeping his gaze on yours as he kisses the skin on the inside of your wrist, leaving behind tingles where his lips touch.

“If Ellie knew how secretly romantic you are,” you say, “she’d give you even more shit than she already does.”

His eyes roll, and he holds your smaller hand in his bigger one, pressing it to his heart.

“Wanna know a secret?” he asks.

“Always.”

“She avoids teasin’ me about our relationship and how I am with you—I mean, if she sees us kiss, she’ll pretend to get sick, but that’s just how teenagers are.” He shrugs. “She slips up every once in a while, and that’s expected; I think her tryin’ her best not to shit on my happiness is her sweet way of bein’ supportive.” He’s smiling fondly. “She’s the one who suggested a picnic.”

Your face matches his. “You discussed your secret anniversary plans with her?”

“Yes.” He nods. “'cause Tommy’s idea of celebratin’ was stayin’ in bed all day naked, and it made me wonder for the millionth time why the fuck Maria married his ass.”

You laugh. “And that’s pretty much a regular Saturday for us when Ellie stays at Cat’s—” Her girlfriend’s. “—for the weekend.”

He’s got an arm around your back and lets go of your hand, reaching to pluck a dandelion from the grass at the edge of the blanket.

“Exactly,” he says, “needed to do somethin’ special, and I found this place a few weeks ago while on patrol and knew you’d love it.” His eyes squint a little as his attention turns to what’s in front of him.

“I do, I love it so much.” You look around at the flowers, trees, and mountains. “It’s so beautiful!”

“Yeah, it is.” You face him again, finding his gaze already on you.

He does this often, where when you seek him out—be it at the crowded bar on a Friday night, the busy mess hall at breakfast before work, while you’re cuddled on the couch watching a movie—he’s already looking at you before your eyes land on his. It’s like you’re the only thing that exists, and you find it both lovely and insane that he loves you that much.

The other person who steals his attention is Ellie—she’s his whole world, and that’s how it should be; she’s his kid, and if Joel’s one thing, he’s a fantastic father who loves his children more than anything.

“You’ve ruined me for anyone else, Joel Miller,” you tell him, clutching his shirt with your left hand. “I love you, I love your daughter, I love the life we have, and I’m sorry, but you’re stuck with me for the rest of your life—you’re mine, and I’ll fight anyone or anything that tries to take you from me.”

“Yeah?” He takes your hand from his shirt and presses your palms together between you, making your own look so tiny with how much longer and thicker his fingers are. “Well,” he starts, your eyes closing when he leans in to nudge his nose against yours, “you’ve sure ruined me for anyone else, too, and you’re it for me—I love you, I love that you really do care about my kid, and how you make our lives better,” he rasps softly. “No one else can have you ‘cause you belong to me as I belong to you, so I see this only goin’ one way.”

“And where’s that?” you whisper.

His hand leaves yours for a moment.

“With you marryin’ me,” he says and slips something onto your ring finger—your eyes fly open seeing he’s tied the dandelion stem to make a loop your finger can fit through, the vibrant yellow flower a pretty substitute for a real diamond ring that are hard to find these days; this is Joel doing something how it was done when he was younger because, to him, it’s the right way, even though nowadays engagements are simply a verbal agreement rarely accompanied by jewelry. Or this is Joel just being romantically old-fashioned; you love it when he’s romantically old-fashioned.

Your cheeks are hurting from smiling so big, and tears are brimming in your eyes.

“If you’ll have me, of course,” he adds, and you look at him. “I know I’ve been alive a long fuckin’ time and that you can do better than someone as old as me, but I promise I’ll give you my everythin’ and the best life I can because you’re the one I wanna spend whatever time I have left breathin’ with.” The truth is evident in his chocolate-colored gaze, seeing the glimmer of hope in the dark pools. “As long as it’s somethin’ you’d want. It’s fine if you prefer we keep doin’ things as we have been without you takin’ my last name—I’m lucky enough that you like me.”

“Ask me,” you say.

His eyebrows pull together. “Ask you what…?”

“To marry you—in all the sweet things you said, you didn’t ask the question.”

His cheeks pink up, and he scratches the back of his neck. “That’s fuckin’ embarrassin’. Not much of a proposal if you don’t ask the question—sorry—let me try this again.” He clears his throat and takes your hand, being careful of the dandelion ring, his eyes seeming to get bigger. “Will you marry me?”

“Yes,” you answer immediately, and he rewards you with a smile big enough for his very seldom-seen dimple to make an appearance.

Then his large palms are cradling your face, and he’s kissing you like he’s just come home after being away for a while, and can’t believe he’s finally feeling your lips against his once more—he’s savoring every second and being so thorough it makes you go dizzy, your skin heating beneath your clothes.

This is one of those unforgettable kisses that will make you swoon each time it comes to mind in the years to come.

And this man asked you to marry him.

Settling down in Jackson was the best decision you’ve ever made.

but I would die for you in secret - Masterlist

Thank you for reading! If you’d like to be tagged in my fics, please fill out the form in my bio, on my masterlist, or just let me know! 

[wheresarizona]

Some leftover SWOL gifs

Technically this is the next post but I queued it wrong and I’m too lazy to repost

[wheresarizona]

[wheresarizona]

but now I’m your daisy

summary: It’s a random Thursday in the middle of spring, and Joel has a surprise for you—a surprise that’s an hour away from Jackson on horseback, that he insists on blindfolding you for.

pairing: Joel Miller/gn!reader (reader has smaller hands than Joel)

rating: T (No y/n, AGE GAP (unspecified, reader is an adult), Grumpy Joel Miller, a lil Possessive Joel Miller, FLUFF, it’s so fluffy, established relationship, kissing, purposely annoying Joel until he snaps at you, Joel being secretly romantic, MARRIAGE PROPOSAL (it’s so cute), cussing, did I mention fluff? Joel being so in love, Joel being the best dad to Ellie)

word count: 2.5k+

a/n: This can be read as a standalone or in the same universe as ‘but I would die for you in secret.’ An anon requested a ‘fluffy cute fic with an age gap (No smut)’ for Joel, and this extremely cute idea came to me that I wrote in one night. Shoutout to @littlemisspascal who loved the snippets I sent her, and thank you to the love of my life, @juletheghoul for betaing!

Thank you for reading! Comments and reblogs feed me. I’d love to know what you thought!

but I would die for you in secret - Masterlist

“Are we there yet?” you ask for the thirteenth time in the span of an hour.

It’s the perfect spring day with the temperature outside not too hot and not too cold, the air feeling a little crisp when it fills your nose. The sun’s warmth is hitting your back, and you’re sure that if you could see the sky, it’d be a beautiful, clear, cerulean blue—you can’t see, though, not with the bandana over your eyes as you sit astride a horse, Joel on his own next to you holding his reins and yours to lead you.

His sigh is long and loud, and you can picture perfectly without having to look at his annoyed expression.

“No,” he growls. “The same damn answer as the last dozen or so times you asked.”

“Hey, don’t get mad at me—you haven’t spent an hour literally in the dark with no idea where the hell you’re going.”

“And I’ve told you it’s a surprise,” he rumbles.

“Well, are we close to this surprise?”

He sighs again, and you just know he’s got the fingers of his free hand pressed to his brow. “I swear, you’re just as bad as Ellie—neither of you seems to understand what a fuckin’ surprise is.” He takes a deep breath and slowly lets it out. “Now,” he says calmly, “I don’t know why you’re purposely pushin’ my buttons—”

“You ate the last of the ice cream last night,” you interrupt. “The ice cream I worked hard to make that I was excited to eat as a late-night snack.”

“You gotta be fuckin’ kiddin’ me—how many times do I have to apologize? I’m sorry. I didn’t know you were savin’ it, and had I known, I wouldn’t have eaten it. Will you please forgive me?”

“Did I annoy you enough that the thought crossed your mind to take us back home?”

“Yes.”

“And you didn’t because you love me so much you’ll put up with my shit?”

“Yes.”

“Then I forgive you. Can I ask a question that has nothing to do with the distance we are from the surprise?”

He lets out a relieved breath, and his tone softens. “Of course, honey.”

Without fail, every time he calls you a sweet endearment, you melt a little, feeling so soft you might turn into a puddle.

You’re smiling. “What made you choose today to surprise me? It’s kinda random that it’s a Thursday, and you didn’t wait for the weekend when we’re usually off.” You taught at the school, and Joel did whatever he was assigned each day; lately, it’s been a lot of patrolling.

“Do you know what today’s date is?”

The question makes you think because you do know the date, and it’s not your, his, or Ellie’s birthday; it’s not a holiday that you’re aware of, either, and frankly, you’re not quite sure what the significance is.

“I do, but what’s so special about it?”

“What were you doin’ last year around this time?”

“Um, what was I doing? Wait, it’s around when I moved to Jackson.”

“That’s right, and who’d you meet a little after you arrived?”

“A lot of people.”

“Jesus Christ,” he breathes in exasperation. “Baby, when did you meet me?”

“Like two, three days after I moved into the house across the street from you.”

“And what happened when we met?”

The memory makes you smirk. “I seduced you—my sexy, way older, single dad neighbor.”

“That’s true—I was gone on you from the moment you batted those pretty eyes at me, and who were you romantically involved with from that day forward?”

Your eyebrows furrow. “You.”

“Was there anyone else?” It’s a harmless question he knows the answer to and is honestly humorous even to be asked.

You snort. “Why would I have wanted to be with anyone else when I had you? No, of course not, and you were very clear that I was yours and only yours, even if nobody else knew for quite some time.”

Your relationship with him was a secret for many months because he didn’t want Ellie to know—he was worried she wouldn’t take it well, but she ended up being completely fine with it and had figured out the two of you were a thing, pretty much from the beginning.

“So, it’s a year from the day you became mine,” he says, “why would I be takin’ you somewhere special?”

The realization slams into so hard you gasp.

“Are we celebrating the anniversary of when we first met?!”

It’s clear in his voice he’s smiling. “We are—I know we did things ass-backward, and I wish I could’ve courted you properly from the beginnin’, but I consider that first time we met as the start of our unconventional relationship.”

Warmth is spreading through your body at how sweet this is.

“Oh my god, Joel—if I could, I’d kiss you right now!”

“Well, you’re in luck, my love, ‘cause we’re finally here.” Your horse comes to a stop, the animal snorting as its front hooves shuffle in place. “You can look.”

You lower the bandana, and your eyes widen at what’s in front of you: it’s a meadow of colorful wildflowers—the lush green grass overshadowed by the yellows, pinks, purples, whites, and blues blooming thickly everywhere, tall pine trees lining the edges, and snow-capped mountains towering high off in the distance.

You’ve never seen anything so beautiful, and it takes your breath away.

There’s movement out of the corner of your eye of Joel getting off his horse, and you’re too focused on taking in all of the scenery, seeing butterflies fluttering around and birds gliding through the air.

“Well?” he asks, and you jolt at his voice coming from the opposite side of where he was initially. “Sorry for spookin’ ya, baby.” He rubs a hand along your jean-covered thigh, and your head tilts down his way. Joel’s eyes look hopeful, and a small smile is on his lips—he’s wearing a red flannel and has a rifle on his back, the light breeze causing some of his gray strands of hair to dance atop his head. “What do you think?” he asks.

Your answer is to get off the horse, Joel’s hands immediately grabbing onto your waist to steady you as you swing your leg over the back of the animal, one foot landing on the ground, then the other—you spin around, throwing your arms around his neck, and crush your lips to his, swallowing his surprised sound. He’s automatically hugging you to him, and you never feel safer than when he holds you, knowing without a doubt he won’t let anything happen to you and will protect you with everything he has; you’d do the same for him and Ellie, the two most important people in your life.

When you break apart, your breaths come out a little heavier, and with the way he’s gazing into your eyes, you can clearly see his love for you shining through.

His hand caresses your cheek. “A good surprise?” he asks.

Your mouth is grinning as you nod. “The best surprise and worth an hour in the dark.” You hold his face as you lean in, placing loud, smacking kisses over his stubbled cheeks, along his jaw, on his chin, and lips. Joel chuckles at your enthusiasm, and you end with a peck to the tip of his nose.

“There’s more,” he says.

Your eyes go big. “What do you mean there’s more?”

“Let me tie up the horses, and I’ll show you.”

He moves away to do as he said, using ropes to tie around each of their two front legs to hobble them and keep them in place, allowing them to graze.

Joel isn’t kidding about there being more: he removes a blanket roll from his saddle that he spreads out on a patch of grass, and from his backpack, he takes out containers with strawberries, apples, cheese, some smoked meat and to drink, a bottle of apple juice made in Jackson.

He sits on the blanket, his long legs out in front of him, the food on one side of him, his rifle, and your shotgun that’d been holstered in a scabbard attached to your saddle within reach on the ground. He makes you giggle as he pulls you down into his lap, sitting sideways across it, his arms wrapping around your middle, while your hands go into the hair at the back of his head, his eyes locked on yours.

Something hard is poking you in the ass. “Is that a flashlight in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me?” you ask with a wag of your eyebrows.

Joel huffs out an amused breath as he gets his hand under you and pulls his sheathed hunting knife off of his belt, tossing it next to the rifle and shotgun.

“Better?” he asks with a raised eyebrow.

“Yes.” You kiss his cheek. “Much better—thank you.” You stare at his handsome face and brush his messy bangs off his forehead—Joel grabs your hand, keeping his gaze on yours as he kisses the skin on the inside of your wrist, leaving behind tingles where his lips touch.

“If Ellie knew how secretly romantic you are,” you say, “she’d give you even more shit than she already does.”

His eyes roll, and he holds your smaller hand in his bigger one, pressing it to his heart.

“Wanna know a secret?” he asks.

“Always.”

“She avoids teasin’ me about our relationship and how I am with you—I mean, if she sees us kiss, she’ll pretend to get sick, but that’s just how teenagers are.” He shrugs. “She slips up every once in a while, and that’s expected; I think her tryin’ her best not to shit on my happiness is her sweet way of bein’ supportive.” He’s smiling fondly. “She’s the one who suggested a picnic.”

Your face matches his. “You discussed your secret anniversary plans with her?”

“Yes.” He nods. “'cause Tommy’s idea of celebratin’ was stayin’ in bed all day naked, and it made me wonder for the millionth time why the fuck Maria married his ass.”

You laugh. “And that’s pretty much a regular Saturday for us when Ellie stays at Cat’s—” Her girlfriend’s. “—for the weekend.”

He’s got an arm around your back and lets go of your hand, reaching to pluck a dandelion from the grass at the edge of the blanket.

“Exactly,” he says, “needed to do somethin’ special, and I found this place a few weeks ago while on patrol and knew you’d love it.” His eyes squint a little as his attention turns to what’s in front of him.

“I do, I love it so much.” You look around at the flowers, trees, and mountains. “It’s so beautiful!”

“Yeah, it is.” You face him again, finding his gaze already on you.

He does this often, where when you seek him out—be it at the crowded bar on a Friday night, the busy mess hall at breakfast before work, while you’re cuddled on the couch watching a movie—he’s already looking at you before your eyes land on his. It’s like you’re the only thing that exists, and you find it both lovely and insane that he loves you that much.

The other person who steals his attention is Ellie—she’s his whole world, and that’s how it should be; she’s his kid, and if Joel’s one thing, he’s a fantastic father who loves his children more than anything.

“You’ve ruined me for anyone else, Joel Miller,” you tell him, clutching his shirt with your left hand. “I love you, I love your daughter, I love the life we have, and I’m sorry, but you’re stuck with me for the rest of your life—you’re mine, and I’ll fight anyone or anything that tries to take you from me.”

“Yeah?” He takes your hand from his shirt and presses your palms together between you, making your own look so tiny with how much longer and thicker his fingers are. “Well,” he starts, your eyes closing when he leans in to nudge his nose against yours, “you’ve sure ruined me for anyone else, too, and you’re it for me—I love you, I love that you really do care about my kid, and how you make our lives better,” he rasps softly. “No one else can have you ‘cause you belong to me as I belong to you, so I see this only goin’ one way.”

“And where’s that?” you whisper.

His hand leaves yours for a moment.

“With you marryin’ me,” he says and slips something onto your ring finger—your eyes fly open seeing he’s tied the dandelion stem to make a loop your finger can fit through, the vibrant yellow flower a pretty substitute for a real diamond ring that are hard to find these days; this is Joel doing something how it was done when he was younger because, to him, it’s the right way, even though nowadays engagements are simply a verbal agreement rarely accompanied by jewelry. Or this is Joel just being romantically old-fashioned; you love it when he’s romantically old-fashioned.

Your cheeks are hurting from smiling so big, and tears are brimming in your eyes.

“If you’ll have me, of course,” he adds, and you look at him. “I know I’ve been alive a long fuckin’ time and that you can do better than someone as old as me, but I promise I’ll give you my everythin’ and the best life I can because you’re the one I wanna spend whatever time I have left breathin’ with.” The truth is evident in his chocolate-colored gaze, seeing the glimmer of hope in the dark pools. “As long as it’s somethin’ you’d want. It’s fine if you prefer we keep doin’ things as we have been without you takin’ my last name—I’m lucky enough that you like me.”

“Ask me,” you say.

His eyebrows pull together. “Ask you what…?”

“To marry you—in all the sweet things you said, you didn’t ask the question.”

His cheeks pink up, and he scratches the back of his neck. “That’s fuckin’ embarrassin’. Not much of a proposal if you don’t ask the question—sorry—let me try this again.” He clears his throat and takes your hand, being careful of the dandelion ring, his eyes seeming to get bigger. “Will you marry me?”

“Yes,” you answer immediately, and he rewards you with a smile big enough for his very seldom-seen dimple to make an appearance.

Then his large palms are cradling your face, and he’s kissing you like he’s just come home after being away for a while, and can’t believe he’s finally feeling your lips against his once more—he’s savoring every second and being so thorough it makes you go dizzy, your skin heating beneath your clothes.

This is one of those unforgettable kisses that will make you swoon each time it comes to mind in the years to come.

And this man asked you to marry him.

Settling down in Jackson was the best decision you’ve ever made.

but I would die for you in secret - Masterlist

Thank you for reading! If you’d like to be tagged in my fics, please fill out the form in my bio, on my masterlist, or just let me know!