whispersofjupiter

[whispersofjupiter]

There's wholesome ships and there's toxic ships, but I'd like to coin 'sodium chloride ships', where the individuals involved are both horrible and dangerous people, but somehow being together renders them surprisingly well-adjusted (if a little salty).

[whispersofjupiter]

It sucks that adults' prejudices shape kids' childhoods. Like poly people having to actively worry about keeping custody of their kids just because other people who don't know them think their lifestyle is weird. Like imagine how much nicer things would be if people could just be normal about things.

Like some kid growing up in a family with Mom, Dad, and Kevin, who sleeps in dad's bed half the time and makes really good spaghetti. And that's just their primary example of what a "normal" family is. And then they go to kindergarten or something and really get to know other kids from other families for the first time and just go the fuck do you mean you don't have a Kevin? What happened to yours?

And the other kids go home asking their parents why they don't have a Kevin, because they, too, want really good spaghetti. And their parents have no fucking idea how to even begin unwrapping what the ever-loving fuck their kid is talking about.

[whispersofjupiter]

Zoey and Mira embracing the patterns look~ ✨✨✨

[whispersofjupiter]

i sleep diagonally so i wake up to a dutch angle view of my ceiling symbolising my descent into madness

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wait babe before we move on i need to break every barrel in this room to check for hidden items

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i love hearing about the declining birth rate like yesss that is a major problem considering our dominant economic model. a problem i plan on contributing to 👍 joining the war on declining birth rates on the side of declining birth rates

[whispersofjupiter]

We'll Make them Look Up

(A Gold-Spotted Eel and Mercury)

[whispersofjupiter]

let’s kill pheasant with mama!!

[whispersofjupiter]

I also can confirm this is true, I am the bed that got sprayed by their benjamin (the dick) and i was quite displeased to be awoken from my slumber by the awful praline and dick scented warmth. the noise the police car was also very displeasing.

this is a true story btw

so its 2:31am. ive woken up as I always do every night to piss at 2:31am, but tonight was different. as i was pissing, an intruder broke into my home, and stabbed my boyfriend.

I heard him scream, and promptly but quickly I waddled out of the bathroom, pants around my waist, holding my benjamin (my dick) upright as to not leak piss until I was ready.

Upon seeing the assailant, I release my benjamin (again, my dick). In preparation for the releasing of my benjamin (my very real and large dick, which tastes like pralines and dick) my stabbed boyfriend had pulled the covers over his head in order to not be sprayed.

The assailant drops his weapon, as he is now slippery and wet, from my benjamin (my dick) and he has turned around in shock.

Now is when I utilize my 9 inch sparkly magenta stilettos to kick the assailant to the ground, and break his back. (I wear my stilettos when I piss every night at 2:31am, because my boyfriend is very tall and has a very tall toilet)

The assailant is now disarmed and dead, and as im wrapping my boyfriends wound, the police arrive.

But its ok, as the police know the assailant was killed in self defense because of the piss.

[whispersofjupiter]

it’s crazy how a double bacon cheeseburger is probably the single healthiest thing a human can eat

[whispersofjupiter]

“let women be friends” no. if 2 women share screentime they have to fuck nasty about it forever. on account of because i said so.

[whispersofjupiter]

this gym shit is easy i just listen to industrial music and let my penis lift all the weight it wants

[whispersofjupiter]

so few people understand the art of the pseudo nap

[whispersofjupiter]

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[whispersofjupiter]

It's not a virtue to focus totally on your own peace and disregard problems around you. Ironically, it's also not a virtue to stew in your own anxiety.

[whispersofjupiter]

decentralize and clean up your life!!!

use overdrive, libby, hoopla, cloudlibrary, and kanopy instead of amazon and audible.

use firefox instead of chrome or opera (both are made with chromium, which blocks functionality for ad-blockers. firefox isn't based on chromium).

use mega or proton drive instead of google drive.

get rid of bloatware

use libreoffice instead of microsoft office suite

use vetted sites on r/FREEMEDIAHECKYEAH for free movies, books, games, etc.

use trakt or letterboxd instead of imdb.

use storygraph instead of goodreads.

use darkpatterns to find mobile game with no ads or microtransactions

use ground news to read unbiased news and find blind spots in news stories.

use mediahuman or cobalt to download music, or support your favorite artists directly through bandcamp

make youtube bearable by using mtube, newpipe, or the unhook extension on chrome, firefox, or microsoft edge

use search for a cause or ecosia to support the environment instead of google

use thriftbooks to buy new or used books (they also have manga, textbooks, home goods, CDs, DVDs, and blurays)

use flashpoint to play archived online flash games

find books, movies, games, etc. on the internet archive! for starters, here's a bunch of David Attenborough documentaries and all of the Animorphs books

burn your music onto cds

use pdf24 (available online or as a desktop app) instead of adobe

use unroll.me to clean your email inboxes

use thunderbird, mailfence, countermail, edison mail, tuta, or proton mail instead of gmail

remove bloatware on windows PC, macOS, and iOS X

remove bloatware on samsung X

use pixelfed instead of instagram or meta

use NCH suite for free software like a file converter, image editor, video editors, pdf editor, etc.

feel free to add more alternatives, resources or advice in the reblogs or replies, and i'll add them to the main post <3

last updated: march 18th 2025