& returned howling. // a, 29, they / them. // realm of the elderlings-centric with various literature, video games, & media thrown in.
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anyway you should always remember that all those foreigners you see dying on the news are just as real people as you are who have just as much interiority as you do. there is nothing about you that makes you more important and it is by pure chance that you are not in their position. in fact, this holds for all of history. every person, no matter the horror of the fate that befell them, had just as much interiority as you do. i feel like some people haven't fully internalized this.
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#q'd#i think i fell in love five times#so much joy to be found here#misc: people#misc: video#misc: fav
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The Fool, Fitz and Nighteyes
#how am i meant to be normal about this?#fitz's expression - he looks like he feels so safe & loved#ch: beloved#ch: fitzchivalry farseer#ch: nighteyes#s: for not a million soldiers could take you from me#s: fitzloved#lit: rote#misc: fav
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Supermoon. Temple of Poseidon, near Athens, Greece. July 3, 2023, by Alkis Konstantinidis
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Pinnate Batfish (Platax pinnatus), juvenile, family Ephippidae, order Acanthuriformes, Tulamben, Bali, Indonesia
The juveniles of this species mimic a toxic flatworm.
photograph by DiveIvanov
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when you're starting to feel a little better but then you have a moment of clarity and realize that "feeling better" doesn't usually include almost constant dissociation and casual suicidal ideation and just in fact means you're growing used to it again lmao whoops
#me: someone who cares deeply and wholly and without restraint about quite literally everything in my life#me currently: who even fucking cares anymore?#that's not normal! it shouldn't be normal!#it feels like i've been thrown back almost a decade in my life & if i could actually feel things like i should i'd be terrified#but i guess it makes a bad sort of sense; i can't have a moment of rest so my mind is trying to create a scenario in which i don't need to#god i'm whinging like a child & even i know how annoying it is but fuck if this doesn't suck#suicide mention -#honestly this is how i know all of those well-meaning ''it gets better!'' ads i was inundated with as a late teen weren't true for everyone#because it never took into account people who are bipolar & how that isn't something that ever goes away & how it will forever shape#the way you have to move about the world & the way you interact with it & how it only grows when bad things keep happening#i don't get the fairytale of ''someday this might be something i no longer have to deal with'' nah baby i'm stuck with this forever#and it will always play a major role in my life no matter how mature how well-handled how medicated i am#but on top of everything else trying to help a friend through her break up while you're going through your own is not fun#but at least in this case we were both the ones who ended it & rightfully so because goddamn did these people suck#might also be the dissociation and depersonalization but my kindness & patience were running thin regardless & i don't tolerate disrespect#i need to get a journal truly#it's getting embarrassing but at least i'm getting it all out somewhere i guess#but honestly to sound like a petulant child i don't even want to touch a notebook or a word document right now#zero joy or comfort remains for me to be found there which honestly is a big sign that i'm regressing but#it truly is what it is#a manic episode is due to come around soon & i'll prepare for it as best as i can currently & hope maybe inspiration will hit at least
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"we're at war with the middle east now" you never stopped being at war with the middle east you idiots.
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now feels like a good time to reiterate that Iranians have been martyred by america + israel already, both empires that possess nuclear weapons, and that Iran does not have nuclear weapons. so now is not the time to joke about america getting nuked-- any retaliation on Iran's part is justified and the only way we escape this situation, but Iran is not going to nuke us, because the entire premise that Iran has nukes is how america justified bombing them and also the exact same rhetoric we used against Iraq and how we killed my countrysmen when there was again no evidence of nuclear warfare. New York City is not going to get fucking nuked. go listen to a podcast or something
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Every 10 pages of realm of the elderlings is like this btw
#q'd#i miss them so much i could throw up#ch: beloved#ch: fitzchivalry farseer#s: for not a million soldiers could take you from me#s: fitzloved#lit: rote
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DEATH APPROACHES ⌛️
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After many springs by Langston Hughes
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Nature + Fiddler
This month's (June) exclusive sticker club artwork. There are a few slots still open!
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fitzy oh my fitzy..............
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Robin Hobb Nation are we out here
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fitz: i am NOT in love with the fool everyone stop saying i am!!!!!!!
also fitz:

#q'd#an insane man#ch: fitzchivalry farseer#s: for not a million soldiers could take you from me#s: fitzloved#lit: rote
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Victor Frankenstein syndrome aka you spent nights over nights crying and bleeding over this work and now that it's finally done you're just like "nvm. it's trash" and go to bed
#q'd#me with all of my writing#school work fandom-related? who even fucking cares anymore lmao#let it all rot tbh#misc: tp
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