wishing-for-cloud-9 - Tumblr blog

[wishing-for-cloud-9]

I spent over 3 years wanting you

Longing for you

Wishing to be with you again

I created false perceptions of you to satisfy my craving

I realized I was the reason you were desirable

Anytime you returned I would see you hadn’t changed

To protect myself I wouldn’t engage

I entertained others but I can not be with anyone else

I couldn’t feel anything for them the way I did for you

Yet I still wish for you to change and come back to me

I still want you

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A letter to death

Please come and get me

Take me away far from here

No one understands me

I feel so alone

Many fear you but I do not

I embrace you and welcome you

On earth I am cold

At least you will be warm

I pray to Yama

Please free my body

I am ready, I need you

To come and save me

I cry every night I beg every night

Don’t let me wake up tomorrow

Just come and get me

Take me with you

I want to die

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“I don’t know what living a balanced life feels like. When I am sad, I don’t cry, I pour. When I am happy, I don’t smile, I glow. When I am angry, I don’t yell, I burn. The good thing about feeling in extremes, is when I love, I give them wings. But perhaps that isn’t such a good thing, cause they always tend to leave and you should see me, when my heart is broken. I don’t grieve, I shatter.”

— Rupi Kaur, Milk and Honey

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It makes me so sad that I’ve never been in love and I am so old. Why did this happen to me and why did I never let myself fall or let myself go. It makes me so sad and I want to fall in love this year that is my resolution. How do I open my heart to love. Has anyone else experienced this? I am in my mid 20s and never been in love. Only strongly liked people but it’s never gotten to a point of love. I want to be in love.

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Going to start using this as my diary

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I’ve been reading my old tumblr posts…I no longer feel that negatively towards my sister I think we have both grown and it’s crazy for me to read those notes can’t believe that was 6 years ago.

I still have the same feelings about a boyfriend tho…can’t believe it’s been all these years of wishing for a man in my life and feeling lonely and still I haven’t found anyone. It is truly discouraging. It’s not like I don’t get guys I actually get 100s of guys but they’re never the one I want. I want a perfect specific kind of guy but at this point sometimes I think I should just get into a relationship with the next best thing just to experience it and grow as a person and then find my perfect man but honestly who knows if that’ll even work out so with this all I can do is leave it in Gods hands I don’t know what to do except pray.

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“I dream of a love that even time will lie down and be still for.”

— Alice Hoffman, Practical Magic

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I feel so alone and want a man bc my bed is cold and I’m lonely

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via weheartit

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@acotarnet Event 8 → Alternate Covers

It is the family you make, not the one you are born into, that matters.

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Funny how your own sister can make your life the most miserable thing ever

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small important habits to adopt

wakeup early

drink a water , lot - eat something the morning , its really important         

keep a positive and opened mind  

take some time for urself to just relax and watch a movie

always keep ur face clean and fresh 

compliment urself !! 

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Avengers: Infinity War (2018)

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