Text
,
#unrelated to anything from todays events /gen#i decided im going to never initiate sex again i think#im just going to exisit and ill just jerk off 40000 times a day agsin if i can/have 2 i guess#which is fine#ok well now#i feel like he hates me#i need to learn to not mention anything#mentioning that the stuff made me throat hurt made him aggressively say sorry and leave#i need to die i need to cut myself so bad its insane
0 notes
Text
.
#Its my fault he feels that way#if i didnt put so much pressure onn him by wantinng that he wouldnnnt feel that way#Ill just keep it innside and start to keep my hannds to myself more oftenn or just in genneral all the time?#I feel like i should also stop with jokes but i feel like that would give somethig away#like how im acting now#im trying to just hold it in but i feel so guilty#Hes already said he feels obligated to just 'deal with it' or did he say he puts up with it?#i donnt know#just the fact that he feels like he needs to just let it happen so ill leave him alone#im the worst personnn alive i think#i feel like i need to throw up because Am i really that bad#i donnt knnow#is it that he just doesntn like me? i cannt tell if its because hes scared to tell me no or because he just doesnt. want me? i donnt know#im a bad partner eithe way#if its not that hes scared then is it just that im#im so gross ad awful and somethigs wrog with me? am i doig something wrong? why doesnt he want me?
0 notes
Text
.
#i dont know what my problem is#i really wish i couldhurt myself#its all ive wanted for months now is to hurt myself#i think if i did i would act better i would act right and things would be ok#theyve been ok until i just fucked everything up#this is why i shouldnt get so upset if i was normal and wasnt upset about other things he wouldnt have thought i was upset with him#mbisjkmsiidiwbalbfhaicsbismp
0 notes
Text
.
#i really should just kill myself#if im this fucking awful i cant even be sad without making him act like a kicked puppy#i should gen just fucking die i dont kow how i became so awful#im always angry i cant be anything without being angry so i should be dead i#any emotion i have is just anger when i think its not and i dont know how to fix that so i should just fucking slit my wrist
0 notes
Text
.
#i miss having more than one person care about me#if i was gone for a day would anyone but him even notice or care#if i was dead how long would it take for someone to figure it out#i wish i was dead honestly#i wish i could feel normal i wish i could hug the people i miss i wish i could not cry
0 notes
Text
z
#i've been feeling so alone lately#i have one friend outside of my partner and she doesnt even care about me#i have one friend who begs for my attention but i feel nothing for them anymore nothing and its hard to know what to talk about#i miss one friend i havent spoken to in forver#i sent them a tiktok to try and get a convo going and she never replied#she never replies to me on discord and id ont why i keep trying to reach out#her partner doesnt like me for whatever reason so i bet thats why she wont talk to me or maybe i did something maybe she felt abandoned by#me going to school and going away#but she never reached out either so is it really my fault#i just feel so alone all the time i miss having frieds i miss having people that care about me#i miss having people that love me as much as i love them#why does no one care about me besides my partner#why does m y best friend always hurt me#why does she not even notice or care why doesnt she say sorry why do i keep trying#i just wish i was dead i wish i was dead i wish i was dead
0 notes
Text
,
0 notes
Text
z
#fat jokes after feeling like shit for eating everything is not fun#getting told to kill myself when bidding on a chara is insane also#like fuck dude i should just actually do it
0 notes
Text
,
#i wish i could feel okay in the fandom#im just scared ill try to make friends and theyll be friends with him. its so lonely.#its so ..awful#i miss being in a community i miss making friends i miss it
0 notes
Text
,
#maybe i shouldve died when i was 15#but then i wouldnt have gotten to know and love them#theyre all that kweps me together#but i feel so awful every second i cant think of anything beaides killing myaelf almoat every day#i am such a fucking failure and a loser#i should be dead i am a waste of money#i am a waste of space and love#i should be dead
0 notes
Text
.
#hitting myself as a reset button#just one hard punch to the back of my head and i am Normal.#i do think i should die though#i dont know how i manage to ruin everything#everyday i do something wrong#maybe i shoud just die
0 notes
Text
,,,
#i think i really wiah i was dead lately#i cant Do anything right#or say anything right#im always doing something wrong#but thats my fault and my problem#i juat need to do better i guess. i need to do more
0 notes
Text
agahah
#im cold and anxious now because i feel awful#my chest hurts bc I feel like i fucked up#im truing to not be upset bc of not going but it upset me a ton and i think its just cause I was so like.#i was focused on it bc i was looking forward to going
0 notes
Text
..
#i ruined his wntire day because i took his tone wrong#i should juet learn how to shut the fuckcup#i tried to tell him it was okay and it wasnt a big deal and it didnt matter i was just being sensitive but no that doesnt work i gues#so now i Just need to slit my wrist i think#because i dont know what else would make this better#how the fuck am i supposed to do anything I neednto do when i feel awful likw this#i should just die I think. i need to already
0 notes
Text
,
#here again to say i shouod kill myself ! i should#i need to stop being so defensive and sensitive#i also neednto just die i think. it would be easier for everyone
0 notes
Text
,,
#The only person i care about hates me#the only person im alive for probably hates me and questions wh y. theyre even wirh me#i think maybe it would be better if i died#i dontnthink anyone would care that much for very long anywyas so maybe i shouldve died a long time ago#so i wouldnt keep ruining peoples lives
0 notes
Text
.
#i should just kill myself honestly i neednto so i stop being a burden#i cant atand being so fucking stupidnand worthless#i want to die so badly i want to kill myself#i dont want to be a burden to him anymore i dont want to keep frustrating him i dontnwant to be the reason he cant afford anything i just#need to die i need to i should just kill myaelf
0 notes