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joshsjipple · 3 months

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Brother's Best Friend, pt 1

JOSH KISZKA X FEMALE READER

A/N: Hey guys! Happy Valentine’s Day! For those of you (me) who don’t have a Valentine and need a little spice, here's a two part series I'm gonna do:) I've had this idea forever and I'm so glad with the way it turned out. As always, this stuff is unedited.

Word Count: 4.9k

WARNINGS: 18+ this is very very dirty! graphic sexual content, unprotected sex (wrap before you tap), LOTS of dirty talk and praise bc I love it, oral sex (m/f/ rec), face riding, fingering, slight hair pulling, slapping, slight choking, language, cum play if you squint, some degradation, minor cock warming, small daddy kink, p in v, dom (m) sub (f), fluff. Sorry if I missed any!

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Your feet splash through the puddles of water resting on the cement. Rain drizzles down from above you, thunder crashing around you like drums in a rock n’ roll song. You cross your arms over your skimpy top you had been dying to wear for weeks and choke back another sob.

It’s late, probably around midnight. You left the party ten minutes ago after a run in with your older brother, Henry. You two had always been close growing up. But the older you got, the more controlling he became. You had only had one boyfriend your whole highschool career. Even though Henry was three years over you and graduated long before you did, he still managed to scare everyone off. Even tonight, even though you’re a twenty year old woman, he still glared at every guy who came remotely close to you.

“Men only want one thing.” He’d say after you’d beg him to stop interfering with your life. “As your brother, it’s my job to look after you.”

That’s how every conversation went. Every conversation up until tonight. Tonight, you’d finally had enough. After Henry shooed off your pursuer for the night, you’d marched over to him, anger bubbling in your blood.

“What the fuck do you think you’re doing?” you started.

“Y/N, what?” He played dumb.

“Why do you always have to control my every move? I’m a grown adult, I can fuck who I want!”

“Yeah, clearly,” he snorted.

“The fuck does that mean?” You raised your voice.

“Oh yeah, as if I have no idea about what happened on your senior prom night.” he took a drink from a can of beer in his hand.

You pause. “How-”

“Doesn’t matter. Whatever. I was trying to protect you from this kind of stuff, but seeing you’re a fucking slut anyways, what’s the point?” he growled.

His words slashed through the temporary walls you had built on the way over to talk to him. This man, your brother, who you had grown up with and loved your whole life, was slut shaming you. You could barely stand as your knees began to womble. Without another word you rushed out the front door.

Maybe it wasn’t the smartest idea, seeing it was storming and you came to the party with Henry. But at the time, nothing was worse than staying there and facing his hurtful words. With his friends around him, you felt outnumbered and solemnly betrayed. It was better this way, although, you were pretty sure you felt worse about the whole thing than he did.

Now, the rain picks up again and drenches your already shivering body. Your hair is a wet mess on your head. You rub your eyes, smearing mascara even further. Fuck it. You don’t care.

You jump as you hear a car approaching behind you. Your heart pounds in your chest as you tell yourself it’s just passing by. When it slows, your body freezes in its place.

“Y/N?” a familiar voice strikes into the night. You turn around to see Josh, your brother’s best friend, driving behind you. His head sticks out the window, a worried expression on his face. “I thought that was you.”

You stand in silence, unsure of what to do. You’ve known Josh since you were a kid. But he’s only been a side character in your life. He was always there, but he never did anything significant. Occasionally, he would drive you to places because you were too scared to get your license. He’d help you with your homework and eat dinner with your family at least once a week. But you’d never really considered yourself friends. Especially after he started dating your mortal enemy his senior year. But that ended soon after it started. You never hated him, your feelings for him were the exact opposite actually.

Like any younger sister would, you developed a crush on your big brother’s best friend. There was just something different about him. The way he talked about stuff he enjoyed and remembered the little things that mattered to the people around him. It didn’t hurt that he was good looking as well. Your crush only intensified as you got older. It went from a harmless crush to an ache in your lower abdomen. Of course, nothing ever became of it as you were a few years younger than him. Once you turned 18 you were anxious to tell him how you felt, but as his band grew, you overheard him and his twin discussing.

“No distractions, Jake. If this is what we want, we need to put all of our energy into it.” Josh said, his hand carefully resting on his brother's arm. “That means no women.”

It was never meant to be, and you accepted it. Things got easier as you both gradually went your separate ways. Slowly, he stopped coming to dinners every week. It became a holiday tradition for him to appear, smiles on his face and gifts in hand. You started college and soon, your feelings for Josh weren’t as evident. That was, until you saw him again. Then, all the feelings and reasons on why you loved him came rushing back.

It happened every time, so you weren’t surprised to feel everything again when he came to the party tonight after his six month tour. He looked refreshed and well rewarded. All it did was remind you how happy he was away from home, and admitting your feelings would only give him a reason to stay.

“It’s me.” your voice shakes as you snap back to reality. You squint your eyes at the beaming headlights and pray you don’t look as bad as you feel.

“Sorry, I probably scared you. I wasn’t thinking, I just wanted to find you.”

“It’s okay.” You say, feeling a bit awkward.

“Can I take you home?”

“Don’t worry about it, Josh.” you shake your head and start walking away again. Josh only follows you, driving right beside you.

“Really? I have heat.” he says in a tempting voice.

“I wasn’t going to go home. I was just gonna walk around for a bit.” you admit.

He thinks for a second. “Okay, come to my place. Everyone’s out so you don’t have to worry about disturbing us. I know you always do.”

You pause and he slows next to you. He’s right, actually. You hate to make people go out of their way for you. Turning to him, you give him a soft smile and tug on the passenger side door. He was right, he did have heat.

The ride to Josh’s house was quiet for a while. The air was stiff between you two, which is odd because usually you two had no issues. It felt different tonight. You couldn’t put your finger on it, but something changed.

“Do you want to talk about it?” he finally asks.

You shake your head. “Nothing to talk about.”

“Okay,” he says. “But you can, if you want.”

You turn your attention back to the road ahead of you. “How was your tour?”

“Oh, you know. Lots of drinking, smoking, drugs, and women.” he says sarcastically, but for some reason it strikes a cord in you and you stop talking entirely. Josh notices and responds quickly. “Oh. I was just joking.”

“Yeah.” you say, rubbing your chin.

The radio plays quietly in the background, some old bluesy song fulfilling the silence. You turn to watch Josh, who has one hand on the steering wheel and the other on his thigh. You stare shamelessly at his hand. It’s large and veins protrude from the skin. Your eyes shift up and focus on his arms, the slight muscles and tones skin. You run your tongue over your bottom lip and glare at his side profile. His hair, once long, was now cut shortly on the sides with curls resting on the top. His jawline is sharp enough to cut your skin, his lips plump and full. If his nose didn’t have the familiar bump on it, you would have thought he was an imposter.

“See something you like?” he asks. His tone is both serious and joking.

“Yeah,” you sigh, a wave washing over you. “You’ve changed a lot.”

“Me?” he laughs. “You’ve changed. I mean, you used to have-” he stops and swallows.

“What?” you ask.

“Nothing. You’ve just filled out. Like every woman does. Not bad-” he stutters nervously.

“So you’ve been checking me out?” you smirk. His eyes meet yours briefly before returning to the road.

“Uhm. Well. Your top doesn’t hide much.” he admits, rubbing the back of his neck.

He’s right. You look down to see the lace corset that is pushing up your boobs just right. Still cold and wet from the rain, your nipples press against the fabric. The view makes you shift in your seat, searching for friction.

“Yeah.” you agree and unbuckle yourself.

Josh’s hands grip the steering wheel, his eyes watching both you and the road ahead. You don’t know what has come over you, but the image of Josh looking at your tits makes your pussy throb. He’s changed alright, and his newfound muscles and hair has your mind thinking some inappropriate ideas.

You crawl slowly over the center counsel and watch his breathing hitch. He shifts in his seat and clears his throat. As your lips drag across the warm skin of his cheek, he lets out a breathy moan. Delighted with the sound, you tug on his ear.

“Jesus, Y/N. What are you doing?”

“You, hopefully. Unless you’re scared of my brother’s warnings.” you tease, your hand palming him through the black leather pants clinging to his legs.

Josh turns down the nearest gravel road and parks on the side, turning his lights on. He faces you in a haze, his eyes hooded and lazy. His hand finds your cheek and he runs his fingers over the soft skin.

“Oh baby. The devil himself couldn’t keep me from you.”

And with that, his lips slam into yours. You freeze for a second but soon reciprocate his actions. His hands tangle in your hair, yours in his. His tongue drags across your bottom lip, an invitation under seductive cover. You grant him access, allowing his tongue to dig into your mouth. You moan, and he quickly swallows the sound, supplying you with his own set of whimpers. He pulls back, his eyes filled with a mischievous glare.

“Are you a virgin?” he simply asks.

“I’m not a prude.” you scoff, taking offense.

Josh shakes his head. “Being a virgin doesn’t make you a prude. All it does is alter the way I’m fucking you tonight.”

You swallow harshly and squeeze your legs together at his words. “No, I’m not a virgin.”

“Okay.” he says before pulling the lever that keeps his seat up.

It reclines quickly so he’s almost horizontal. You smile and giggle as he smirks at you.

“Well, darling?” he asks in an accent.

“Maybe the back seat would be better?” you question.

Josh shrugs and opens his door. You do the same, meeting him in the back seat. You share the same goofy expression as you crawl to each other. His hands find your waist immediately and he hoists you onto his lap, earning a surprised gasp from your lungs. With your knees on either side of his legs, you connect lips. He tastes like alcohol and sugar and you grind your hips into him. He groans, and you can feel him hard between you. The few pieces of clothing between you two is all that keeps you apart. You rock against him again, your skirt riding up your thighs. Josh takes notice and pushes it up farther with his hands. As you bite and tug at the skin on his neck, his hands squeeze your ass. The gesture is strong enough to know it will leave a mark.

You let out a pitiful moan you didn’t know you had in yourself. He twitches against your leg, obviously finding it very attractive. Letting out a shaky breath, he distributes a soft smack to your ass. You jump and suck harder onto his neck, trying to muffle the sounds of your pathetic moans. Josh feels your vibrations and you can feel the smirk on his face.

“I think I have you figured out, doll.” he seductively says before smacking your ass again, this time, more firmly. You cry his name into the crevice of his neck. “Yeah? You like it when I smack you?”

You can feel your panties grow damper by the second. You had no idea you were into this. Or that he was.

“Answer me,” he hisses.

“Yes! Yes, daddy please!” you cry, the name leaving your mouth without thinking.

He whimpers and thrusts himself into you. You cry at the friction and find his lips again. You grind against his leather pants, desperately searching for friction. Josh watches you, his teeth biting his lip.

“Take this off, mama.” he tugs at your skirt. You unzip it and throw it up front. “Red lace? You filthy girl.”

He grabs your ass and lifts you up so all your weight is on your knees. He kisses your stomach and plants a kiss on the hem of your panties. His fingers that dig into your ass wander between your legs. The feeling of his digit sliding over your dripping core makes you shudder above him.

“So worked up, and for what?” he teases, enjoying the show above him.

“You.” you say weakly.

“How long?” he asks.

“Since I’ve known you.” You admit, feeling no shame considering you’re half-naked in front of him.

“What a slut, baby. And all for me?” he whispers, his finger dipping into you. “Take these off.”

You crawl off of him and do your best to gracefully pull the drenched material off your body. Once it’s off, Josh pulls you back onto his lap. You’re shocked and confused, but the look in his eye makes you ditch your expectations.

“You want me so bad? Fine, show me how bad and fuck yourself on my leg.” he spits. “While you’re doing that, you’re gonna tell me how long you’ve waited for this moment.”

You move to straddle his right leg, immediately working yourself onto him. He tears off his shirt. It’s dark in the car, but the full moon shines just right, showing you his soft skin and sculpted chest. His fingers move to your corset, toying with the back.

“As much as I love how little this top covers, I want the full view.” he unties the strings in the back. “Talk, or this is over. Tell me how bad you’ve wanted it.”

“So bad.” you cry. “Since you started tutoring me.”

“That long? You were what– a junior?” he slips your top off and leans back.

You pick up your pace, your arousal soaking into his leg. “I was so jealous of all those girls you would hang out with.”

His eyes absorb your breasts and how they look bouncing in the faint light. He brings one of his callused hands and teases the nipple. “So jealous of the girls who got my cock, huh?” He leans forward and begins to suck on the bead of your nipple.

“So jealous!” you say in a high-pitched tone. Your stomach tightens and you feel the familiar feeling grow in your stomach. “Fuck, Josh. I’m gonna cum.”

“Do it, mama. All over my leg like a good girl. Make a mess.” he encourages, moving to the peak of your other breast. “Bet you did this all the time. Fucking yourself with your fingers, imagining it was my cock.”

“I did, I did.” you say as your eyes fill with stars. You shake at the feeling of your release.

“Fuck. That’s so hot.” he breaths into your chest. “You’re a blessing.”

Pulling yourself off of him, you grab his face and pull him in. Your teeth knock together as you run your hand across his raging erection. He groans at the contact and fucks up into your hand.

“Suck my cock. I know you want to.”

You do. So, you pull away from his mouth and work at his buttons. His cock springs free as you pull both layers off his body. It rests on his stomach, glistening precum decorating the tip. You drool at his size, the length and thickness. Without another word, you dip your face between his legs and take him into your mouth. He shakes beneath you, giving you a sense of power you enjoy.

“Holy fuck. Just like that. Wrap your pretty lips around it.”

His hands find your hair and he forms a makeshift ponytail with his hands. Using this as a handle, he pushes your head up and down. You bob on him, hot tears streaming down your face. You take him as best as you can, gagging on him as your tongue messes with whatever area of skin it can find. He sounds so pretty above you, his breath hitches and sweet profanities being whispered to you. In one swift motion, he pulls you off of him and wipes your lip with the pad of his thumb.

“You take me so well, better than any other girl I’ve had. But I want to cum later, mk?” You nod. “I want you to ride my face.”

“Wha-”

“Please. I’ve waited for this too. I have dreams of you and I wake up so fucking hard, baby.”

His confession has you placing both knees on the side of his head.

“Tell me if I’m crushing you, okay?” you say seriously.

“Fuck that. Ride my face, hard.”

He hooks his arms around your thighs and pulls you onto his face. His tongue runs between your folds and circles your bundle of nerves strategically. He sucks on your clit pulling it between his lips and letting it go again. You grind into him, your hand smearing on the window like the Titanic. You’re a huge mess above him, crying his name and cursing. He groans into your core, the vibrations unleashing a whole new kind of moan from your lips. You pull yourself off him slightly and when you look down, you see two giant brown eyes staring back into you.

“You look so pretty between my legs.” you breathe.

His eyes stay burning into your soul as he slides a finger into your heat, his tongue flicking once over your sensitive bead. You cry out once. Then again when he slides a second finger into you. As if he's an expert, he finds your G-spot immediately. His fingers pump in and out of you at the same rhythm as his tongue. Rockstars are the fucking best.

Completely lost in the feeling, you grind into his face, your hands tugging in his perfect curls. You ride his face, chasing your own high. “Josh. I’m gonna cu-” The words barely leave your mouth. You scream and thrash above him, his arms keeping you glued to his face as he continues to lap mercilessly at your throbbing clit. The adrenaline and heat floods your bloodstream, making you extremely dizzy. If he wasn’t holding you into him, you probably would have fallen over.

After a few seconds, you detach yourself from your brother’s best friend’s face. It’s soaked with your cum and arousal, but his smile lets you know there’s no other way he’d have it. Crawling off of him, you straddle his cock. It’s pulsing between your legs. Having enough, Josh flips you onto your back. He leans over you wearing a shit-eating smirk proudly.

“Ready, baby?” he asks as he lines himself up. “Gonna fuck this tight little pussy and you’re gonna take it like a good girl.”

He pushes into you, not all the way, but enough. You cry at the feeling of being stretched, your hands clawing at his back. You both moan as he rocks his hips into you again. You’re dripping all over him, making a mess in his back seats.

“God, look at you. It’s barely in and you’re fucking withering.”

“Give it to me,” you beg. “Treat me like the slut I am.”

He pulls back before thrusting completely to the hilt. Your back arches, a cry leaving your mouth. It fucking hurts, but it feels like heaven.

“You feel like velvet.” his hips snap again. “Such a pretty, perfect pussy.”

Josh tucks his head into your neck, kissing and sucking across your collarbone. You wrap your legs around his waist, trying to keep him deep inside you. He snaps in and out of you at an insane pace. Your eyes roll in the back of your head, your mouth hanging open.

“So big,” you whisper. “Filling me up.”

With every deep thrust, you’re overcome with ecstasy. He twitches inside of you, causing you to squeeze around him. He cries in your ear, his lips tugging at the skin. His rough hand dances between your bodies, settling on your sweet spot. The pad of his thumb circles aggressively across your bundle of nerves. Your whole body is aching and arched at his touch.

“Do it, mama. Cum for daddy. Cum all over his cock, Y/N. Give it to me.”

Your body tightens as you cry his name like a story. Your nails dig and scratch at his back, surely to leave a thousand tiny cuts. As you pulse around him, he rolls you both over so you’re on top. You sink into his skin, the feeling of his cock still hard inside of you making you tired. As it twitches, you shoot up, you eyes wide open.

“You didn’t cum-” you hiss.

“Shh baby. Ride me?” He kisses your forehead.

The idea makes you smirk. You never did much with your first, or second. They weren’t into anything besides missionary and you giving them head. Josh wanted it. All of it.

You line him up and sink onto him as he throws his head back. With hands gripping either side of your waist, he pulls you down into him so you’ve taken every inch. His mouth hangs open as he watches you slide up and down slowly on his length, taking him as best as you can.

“I’ve never done this.” you admit in a sloppy tone.

“Like any of this?” Josh pauses and stares at you.

“I’ve had sex, Josh. Just not positions. Can you tell me how you like it?” You ask.

“Fuck. We don’t have to-”

“No. I want to. So bad. Just talk me through it.”

Josh, with both of his hands on your hips, guides you. You get the memo and roll your hips against him. “Yes, just like that. Ride it.” His words make you pick up your pace. As you figure things out, you add a few tricks to it. He’s whimpering below you, cursing your name as you fuck him just how he likes it. His hand harshly smacks the fat of your ass cheek and you cry his name. He twitches inside of you, letting you know he’s close. With one rough thrust, you collapse onto his chest. Your hands tangle in his curls, your rhythm matching his thrusts. “Your tits are so hot. Could watch you like this forever.”

He plants a sloppy kiss on your lips, the sound of wet skin filling the car. You feel yourself close again, noticing how your own body reacts. You squeeze around his length.

“Gonna cum again?” he teases. You mumble under your breath. Your hair is glued to your red, fucked out face as you take every inch. Josh wraps his arm around your waist to keep you from moving and his other hand connects with your clit. You’re done for. “Yes! Fuck yes!” he cheers as another mind blowing orgasm rips through your body.

You tremble above him and buck against him as you come down from your high. Your foreheads connect and stick together from the sweat. He leans up and kisses you softly, tucking hair behind your ears and wiping a few stray tears from your eyes. His cheeks are flushed and you cup them with your hands, admiring his state.

Once again, he flips you onto your back, his cock leaving you. You squeak in slight disappointment. “I can’t cum again, Josh.” You admit, eyes still closed.

“Wanna stop?” he asks sweetly, cupping your face.

“No.” you say honestly.

He flips you on your stomach in one solid, swift motion. “Good. I’m not finished with you. Stick your ass up, sweet girl.” He smacks it as you lift it off the wet seats.

You watch him from over your shoulder, his fingers toying with your entrance. He looks so pretty in the light you just want to fuck his face again. He fists his cock, stroking it while staring at your leaking pussy. He curses under his breath and circles your hole, oblivious that you’re watching. When he sees, he circles the head of himself over your sensitive clit. You shudder as he sinks himself back into you, this new angle unlocking a new level of pleasure.

He doesn’t move which makes you grow impatient. “Josh.” you cry, elongating the ‘o’ in his name. You push yourself against him, searching for movement.

“Awe. Pretty girl is so hungry for me even though she’s already came twice.” he mocks. “Show me how bad you want it and fuck yourself on it.”

With another crack at your ass, you bounce onto him, your boobs brushing against the seats below you. The friction makes you bite your lip. Eventually, Josh can’t handle it and he meets your bounce with a thrust of his own. You wither from under him, sweet noises dancing around you. He’s pounding into you at a vicious rate. Not a single thought circles in your head at the moment.

“Who’s pussy is this?” He growls loudly.

“Yours.” you whisper.

“Louder.”

“Yours! It’s yours.” you give in pathetically.

“Yeah it is. I’m fucking it like it’s mine because it is mine. Got it?”

“Mhm.” you cry, feeling his thrusts become sloppier by the second.

“Sorry, what?” he smacks your cheek and pulls you up so your back is pressed against his chest.

“My pussy’s yours, daddy!” you shake.

One hand wraps around your neck as the other cups your aching heat. He splits his fingers, feeling his cock pound into you. You tremble against him, your breathing quickening. “Josh, wait. I can’t. I can’t cum again, it hurts!”

“Poor little baby,” he bites your shoulder and squeezes your neck tighter. “Wants to play the game until she loses, huh? Not here, mama. Take it.”

His words have you bucking against him, using your own hand to circle your clit. He smacks it away and replaces it with his own. You both let out unearthly sounds as you approach your climax. With one final thrust, he spills into you which sends you over the edge yourself. You scream as your lips connect, his cock still spasming inside you. You fall flat on your chest and Josh pancakes you to the seat, his cock still buried inside of your walls.

“That’s my good girl.” he kisses your hair. Pleasure still floods through you, your brain barely processing a word he said. With hands planted on either side of you, he pushes himself off your body and pulls himself out. You feel the strands of cum fall from him and onto your thighs. “Jeeeez.” he says.

You flip onto your back, your chest still heaving. Josh is between your legs on his knees, throwing his shirt over his head before placing another kiss on your cheek.

“Does daddy just fuck you so good you can’t even get dressed?” he asks, his voice dripping with sarcasm. The aggressive act is gone and replaced with the loving Josh you’ve grown up with.

“So good.” you smile, pulling him in for another kiss.

He falls onto you, his curls brushing across your face. Using your tits as pillows, he lays comfortably. “You’re amazing, do you know that?”

You sigh and giggle. “You’ve already fucked me Josh, no need to be a suck up.”

He lifts off of you again. “I’m not sucking up. You’re perfect, and I want this.”

“What?” the words tumble out of your mouth. “What about tour and the girls-”

“It’s you, Y/N. It’s always gonna be you. They mean nothing to me. They never have and never will. With you it’s real, and I want it.”

“But, Henry.”

“Fuck Henry. I was done with him the second he called you a slut. Only I get to call you that.” he jokes, kissing your nose.

“Are you sure?” you ask.

“Are you?” He raises an eyebrow. “You don’t seem too sure.”

“Josh I’ve been in love with you my whole life. You just fucked me so hard I won’t be able to walk for a few days and now you want me to be your girlfriend. I’m sorry if it’s going to take me more than a few seconds to wrap my head around it.”

“You’re right. I’m sorry.” he apologizes and lays back on your chest. “We have all the time in the world, darling.”

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tiredmamaissy · 1 year

Text

Is That So?

🔞 minors, do not interact 🔞

Main Characters: Lo’ak Sully (19) x fem Metkayina Reader y/n (19)

Supporting Characters: Ao’nung (20)

Warnings: NSFW, smut, fluff, smean dom Lo’ak, brat/sub reader, profanity, jealous/territorial behaviour, knotting, marking, oral sex, rough/make up sex, mild angst, overstimulation, minor degradation, soft ending

Word Count: 5.5k

Requested: Yes || No

Author’s Note: Hey anon! I hope this is okay. I kind of changed things up a bit because I did a similar piece but with Neteyam (Eyes For You). Enjoy <3

Synopsis: You and Lo’ak had a secret relationship. He ended things suddenly and painfully. You sought comfort with Ao’nung. Lo’ak witnesses this, intervenes and reclaims you as his.

Intro:

Lo’ak and his family sought uturu in your village a few months ago. Olo’eyktan, Tonowari, put the responsibility of teaching the sully family the ways of the Metkayina on you and his daughter, Tsireya and her brother, Ao’nung. Lo’ak proved to have a harder time adapting to the water than his siblings. As a result, you and him have spent a lot of time together, especially one on one breathing lessons. Ever since, you two have been sneaking around and spending ‘quality’ time together – keeping it a secret from everyone.

----

Lo’ak quickly repositions his loincloth and sheathes his hunting knife onto his hip. You watch him intently as you lean back onto the tree, trying to catch your breath. He’s always quick to leave after you and him finish the deed, grabbing his belongings and making an excuse before he goes. You knew it was coming soon.

“Uhm, y/n.” He looks down at your naked body. “I need to -”

“Go? Yeah. I know.” You say, turning your head away from him.

You can’t deny that it hurts you every time he does this.

“You didn’t even let me finish. My brother, he needs m-” he starts, only to be cut off by you again.

“He needs you to help him with something?” You look at up at him, raising your brows slightly. “Yeah. I know.” You repeat, feeling disappointed.

Lo’ak realizes that you’re upset – it was hard not to. He kneels, meeting you at your eye level.

“What is it? Are you upset with me?” he takes your hand in his.

Here we go again with the mixed signals. He says one thing and then does another. He says he can’t stay to cuddle but when you get upset about it he does this – grabbing your hands, acting like he cares about your happiness. You roll your eyes and shake your head, batting his hand off yours.

“Just, stop with the lies, Lo’ak. Just say that you want to leave... that you don’t want to stay, rather than you ‘can’t’.”

He looks at you dumbfounded, like you just told him you were with child.

“Yeah, and stop with the mixed signals, too. One minute you’re acting so loving and caring, and the next you act like you don’t want anything to do with me.” You spit, standing up to put on your loincloth.

“Y/n... I’m sorry. I - I should have been more honest with you. It’s – it’s not even what you think.” He drops his head, brushing his hands over his braids as he steps back. He looks back up at you, with big, glowing, golden saucers.

You look at him, searching his eyes for something – anything. To hear the words ‘its not what you think’ makes you feel that maybe – just maybe, there was a good reason behind all his actions. Something to pardon him of his assholish behavior. It brings hope to your heart, that maybe one day you can have what you want... him.

The truth is, he’s promised to another na’vi. No matter how badly he wants to be your mate – your one and only, he can’t. Not only would he be a huge disappointment to his father, but he would let down the Olo’eyktan, as he’s promised to his daughter – your best friend. Which is another reason why he never marked, knotted or made the bond with you.

Lo’ak found Tsireya beautiful – stunning, even. But her beauty compared no where near to yours. He wants nothing more than to stop sneaking around, to just be able to do something as simple as holding your hand around your friends. But the pressure from his father is immense, and the pressure from Tonowari is even worse.

He knew that inevitably this would have to come to an end. Neither of you or Tsireya know about the betrothment yet, seeing that Tonowari is waiting for him to become Metkayina first. Regardless, there were too many reasons why this wouldn’t work out.

Seeing the hope in your eyes, it dawns on him that the only way to do this would be the hard way – to hurt you. Hurt you to the point where you wouldn’t want to come back.

“I can’t be in anything serious with you.” he states. “I just don’t like you in that way.” He lies, gritting his teeth, not wanting to say the words.

He sees the hurt in your eyes, as they well with tears. He watches your brows pull closely together, and your bottom lip quiver. He hated seeing you upset – seeing you sad. It broke his heart, but it hurt even more knowing that he was the one making you feel this way.

He swiftly turns his head, focusing on the waterfall nearby, not being able to stand the sight of you hurting. He closes his eyes briefly, and exhales loudly through his nose. “You were a good fuck. But nothing more. We... we should see other na’vi.”

You’re speechless. Frozen in time. Trying your absolute hardest not to drop to your kneels and bawl your eyes out. All you can do is stare at the shell of a person who you thought you once knew – the person who took your virtue, as he walks away from you.

Lo’ak makes his way to his ikran, connecting his queue to it, before stopping in his tracks to look at his feet. “My heart has always been promised to Tsireya.” he mutters under his breath, mounting his banshee and flying away – not wanting to see the mess he left behind.

Now, that stung.

You were left behind in the jungle, alone with your thoughts. The words are like a blow to your back, strong enough to completely knock the wind out of you. You find yourself stumbling backwards, slumping against the tree before sliding down to your knees. Your heart hurt. It hurt so bad you could feel the pain in your chest. It burns, even. It’s as if he set fire to your heart and walked away to let you turn into ash. No number of tears that you shed could put it out.

You had to seek relief elsewhere – a distraction from the pain.

----

It’s been two weeks since Lo’ak left you in the jungle to sit in a puddle of your own tears. Since you've had to endure your heat in your marui pod alone, something he would usually help you with. You took that week off not only to endure it alone, but to give yourself some space away from Lo'ak and Tsireya.

Your feelings of despair have morphed into feelings of resentment. How could he do this to you? How could he just take what he wanted and leave you like that? Leave you alone in heat? It was unfair. You feel cheated. What hurt the most is that it’s your best friend of all people - driving a rift between the two of you.

It became awkward when the group finally came together, especially for hunting trips. Both you and Lo’ak pretended like nothing happened, because no one knew about your relationship to begin with. Tsireya didn’t quite understand why you were being so cold and distant, which pushed her even closer to Lo’ak.

Seeing their relationship strengthen over time drove you closer to Ao’nung. You knew he always had a thing for you from you were both kids. You also knew to never entertain it, the son of Olo’eyktan would never be allowed to mate with you. You were simply the daughter of a warrior and healer of the clan. But maybe, you could use him – just this once.

----

“Ao’nung!” you shout, trying to get his attention among the group.

He turns his head in your direction, seeing you signal him to come with your hand. He makes his way over to you on his ilu.

“Yes, sweets?” he smirks, having your ilus circle one another.

He’s always been flirty with you, calling you all sorts of nicknames – sweets, my lovely, cutie, pretty – the list is endless.

“Hi, you.” you mumble, not sure what to say.

“Need me for something?” he asks, peering at you through his brows.

You look behind him briefly, seeing that Lo’ak and your best friend are side by side, laughing with one another. It makes you... angry, more than sad. Sure, it still stings your heart, but as more time passes, vengeful feelings make their way to the forefront. You want to get back at him for doing this to you – for acting so normally.

“No. I – I mean yes.” You stutter, feeling nervous about what you’re about to do. “I... just wanted... to talk, I guess.” Your words are drawn out, lengthy and uncertain.

He gives you a puzzled look, not wanting to make any advances if you were unsure.

“Okay, my lovely. I’m here. What did you want to talk about?” he smiles, looking you up and down.

“Uhm...” you hum, looking around at the ocean, trying to find something else to focus on.

Your eyes pass by Lo’ak, who is now intently watching your interaction with Ao’nung with a straight face, patiently waiting for something to unfold. You decide to look back at Ao’nung, scanning his body up and down too. It’s undeniable – he’s handsome, well built, and muscular.

His ribs are wide, something that’s seen as desirable and admirable here. It means that he’s an experienced diver, able to hold his breath for long periods of time. Why would someone like Ao’nung, son of Olo’eyktan, like someone like you? Maybe you could let yourself dream a little; allow yourself to get lost in the man before you, even if it’s farfetched.

“Like what you see?” he asks jokingly, trying to hold back his smirk.

You drop your gaze and let loose a breathy chuckle, you didn’t realise that you were lingering.

“Actually...” you trace up his body with your eyes, meeting his gaze once more. “...I do.” You try to hide your smile as you feel your face heat up.

You watch him move even closer to you, with a huge grin on his face. He rests his hand on your thigh as his eyes search your body, stopping his gaze at your breasts.

“I like what I see, too.” he says huskily, shooting his gaze back up to yours.

His face becomes serious, as he moves his hand slowly up your thigh. Your heart starts thumping, hard. All from his simple touch.

Am I into this right now? you wonder, taking note of your racing heart.

The heat pooling in your chest confirms it for you, as it slowly makes it’s way down to your pelvis in waves. You glance down at his hand sliding up your thigh, gliding towards the flesh between your legs. Looking back up at him, you rest your hand over his, and guide it to your hip, hooking his fingers under your loincloth.

Yeah. I’m into this. You hype yourself up, trying to get rid of your anxiety.

The tension is off the charts. You can tell from the way he’s tugging at your loincloth that he would rip it off and take you right now, right here.

And you’d let him.

You slide your hand over his strake (fin like structure on the forearm), and squeeze his thick, veiny bicep. Unbeknownst to you, Lo’ak left Tsireya and Neteyam, and made his way over to you, breaking the tension with Ao’nung.

The sight makes him queasy, to see you touch another man in that way. Mostly, it infuriates him, making him see red. On top of his hot temperament, seeing this scene unfold in front of him sends him into a silent frenzy. Gritting his teeth, Lo’ak firmly grabs you by the arm.

“Y/n. A word.” He spits, pulling your hand off Ao’nung’s bicep as he rides away on his ilu.

You don’t follow him. Instead, you shoot him a puzzled look - confused as to why he’s even over here trying to talk to you.

Didn’t this man just tell me to see other na’vi?

Lo’ak looks back to see that you haven’t budged. “Y/n! Now.” He demands, shooting you that look.

You scoff loudly, shaking your head before apologizing to Ao’nung. You know what that look means, it means he’s not happy with you. It means, you’ve been a bad girl. It means…

You must be disciplined.

You begrudgingly pull away from Ao’nung’s sweet touch, becoming even angrier with Lo’ak for ruining this for you, too. You ride your ilu roughly, following him to what seems to be…

The cove of the ancestors?

You two had only ever gone there once - only because your spot in the jungle was taken by Neteyam and his mate. You chuckle at the memory. Both he and his mate were surprised to see you and Lo’ak walk towards them. You had to lie and tell them that you were teaching him a lesson in the lake nearby.

You shake your head, ridding yourself of the happy memories you and him once had. You will yourself to recall the horrible things he said to you two weeks ago. As you two approach the rocky coast of the cove of the ancestors, you dismount your ilus and stand face to face.

“What is it, Lo’ak?” You croak, already holding back your angry tears. “I thought you were done with me.”

“Why the fuck were Ao’nung’s fingers under your loincloth?” He shouts, turning his back on you.

“Really? This is what you brought me all the way out here for?” You hiss, turning around to mount your ilu.

You feel him grab your arm again, even rougher this time, and pull you into him. You see his face contorted with rage – his eyes green from envy. You’d never seen him this upset before, you could practically see his stream coming through his nostrils.

“I thought you told me to see other na’vi.” You mutter. “Go fuck Tsireya or something.” You shrug him off you, matching his rage.

“Fuck. Y/n.” He spits, clenching his jaw. “Agh. You - fuck. You really know how to piss me off.”

“Yeah? Likewise, asshole.” you mutter, rolling your eyes before turning away from him.

He pulls you back in, grabbing you by the jaw. “You’re mine.” He growls deeply, looking directly into your eyes. “Understood?”

“Is that so?” The words come out muffled as you try to rip away from the firm grip he has on your face.

“Let go, Lo’ak” you grimace, feeling his fingers dig into your skin.

Suddenly, his gaze softens, realizing that he’s hurting you. He lets go and takes a step back, dropping his head.

“I’m sorry” he mumbles, feeling terrible for handling you so roughly. “When I saw him touch you like that… when I saw you touch him like that…” he struggles to get his words out.

You can already feel yourself softening at his words. Your feelings for him were too strong to deny… to ignore. You stand there, in silence, allowing him the chance to speak – to redeem himself.

“I… I see you, y/n.” He says seriously, putting your hand against his chest.

Tears roll down your cheeks. Hearing him say these words brings too many emotions to you at once. You pull away, afraid of being hurt again. He grabs your hand, placing it back onto his chest, afraid that he’s really losing you.

“Please... just listen.” He pleads, furrowing his brows. “My father. Tonowari. They want me to be Tsireya's mate.” He shakes his head. “I don’t want this, I don’t want... her. But you know the pressure they put me under. I’m sorry I said those horrible things to you...” he drops his head again, allowing his tears to fall on the ground.

“I didn’t mean a single word.”

There you go, completely soft for the man that stands before you, all over again. Your feelings come crashing back into you like they never left. Because they didn’t. You can’t even figure out how you feel, as so many emotions and thoughts are coursing through you all at once.

“So, when I saw you and Ao’nung.” He mutters under his breath.

You witness a sudden change in his demeanour, as he embodies that of an akula. You watch as his amber eyes turn into a deep gold as they trace their way up your body, to look deeply into yours.

“… it makes me want to fuck the sense back into you” he growls.

A fire lights within your chest, just like the one he lit when he left you in the jungle alone. But this time, it burns brighter, bigger – hotter. You step towards him, maintaining eye contact. You come face to face with the akula and challenge him.

“So do it.” You taunt, brushing your chest against his. “Fuck me.” You whisper.

In an instant he has his hand wrapped tightly around your throat, backing you up against the rocky cove.

“Say that again, little one.” He snarls.

“I said. Fuck. Me.” You moan, staring up at him as you caress the arm that pins you against the cove.

He chuckles. “Let’s do it.” He drops his smile, turning you around and pushing you against the rough wall.

You let out breathy laugh, happy that you’re finally getting what you want. He holds your face firmly against the cove with one hand, and tugs your loincloth down your legs with the other.

“What? Don’t think I’ll make you mine? Hmm? Right here? Right now?” he pants into your ear as he kicks your legs apart.

His eager movements make the fire within your chest even hotter. “I don’t.” you tease.

“Watch me.” He growls, licking your ear, hurriedly untying his own loincloth.

He presses his thick cock against you whilst he kisses the nape of your neck. “We are in the most sacred place, are we not?” he mumbles into your neck, brushing his sharp fangs against your skin.

You can’t even form a coherent thought, you’re too overwhelmed by his insistent touches. All you can think about is how badly you want him to ram his cock inside of you, to fuck the sense back into you – to discipline you. The sensation of his teeth rubbing against you makes you pant, hard.

Without warning, he marks you. Sinking his teeth into your skin, sucking slightly as he draws blood. You whimper loudly, wriggling under his grasp, feeling the wetness between your thighs drip down your legs. He unlatches and licks the wound.

“Mine.” He whispers directly into your ear, pressing his bulge between your lips.

It makes your luminescence flicker, being tamed by his touch in this way. You’re panting heavily at this point, feeling your heart thump uncontrollably. If he didn’t fuck you soon, you’d lose it.

“Oh, please...” you breathe shakily, backing yourself up onto him. “...I’m still not yours.”

Teasing Lo’ak like this would only get you one thing – punished. You want the beast within him to come out and play, to obliterate you completely.

Just like that, the beast came out to play.

“Fuck, woman.” He presses your face even harder against the wall as he hurriedly rubs his cock against you cunt, coating it with your thick slick.

“Say that again.” He growls, lining up his tip with your aching hole.

He really growled this time, right into your ear. It frightens you, making you nervous to repeat yourself.

“I’m still... not you- Fuck!” you yelp, being cut off by him ramming his entire length into you in one, hard thrust.

“Not what?” he whispers breathily, pressing his cockhead firmly against your cervix.

“Ugh... f-fuck Lo’ak.” You moan loudly, melting into his rough touches.

He pulls his cock all the way out of you, leaving the tip in. “Not. What?” he repeats.

“No... please.” You beg him, feeling so empty.

“Say it, you little slut.” He growls, squeezing your hip with his free hand.

“Fuck. I’m yours. I’m yours!” you shout, trying to rock back into him.

“That’s right. You are mine.” He plants a sloppy kiss on your neck as he slams his entire length back into you.

You squeal loudly, trying to keep your noises to a minimum.

“No. Moan for me, so that boy toy of yours can hear you.” he slams his cock into you once more.

“Ughhh. Lo’ak!” you let loose a lengthy, high-pitched moan.

“Just like that” he smiles into your neck.

Lo’ak moves his hand from your hip to your cunt, using two fingers to rub circles onto your swollen clit. He’s pounding into you so roughly that your legs feel like they're about to give out. Swiftly moving his other hand from your head down to the thin cloth covering your breasts, he fiddles with it, untying the knot in a hurry. It falls off you, exposing your erect nipples.

“Every part of you. It’s all mine. All of it.” He grunts into your shoulder, rolling your nipple between his fingers.

You feel so dazed – so out of it. He’s giving you the pounding of your life, whilst massaging your clit and nipple at the same time. You couldn’t think straight, much less answer him. You close your eyes tightly, trying to focus on one sensation at a time, so not to cry from the extreme overstimulation. But it’s all too much.

“...mmn. Lo’ak... Please! It’s too fucking much! Stop!” You whine loudly, trying to pull his hand away from your clit.

“I tell you *slam* to go see *slam* other na’vi *slam* and you actually do it? You listen to me too well.” He pants, thrusting his hips even faster into you.

“Please! Lo’ak I can’t take anymore!” You cry out, moving your other hand behind you, pushing his pelvis away from you.

“Cum for me, then I’ll give you a break.” He breathes, pushing even harder against you.

Each thrust makes your lewd noises louder and louder. He sets a merciless rhythm, rutting his hips into you ruthlessly, insisting with his thrusts that you cum on his throbbing, veiny cock. He matches the speed of his fingers with his hips, fondling with your pearl even faster. You let loose little, whiney mewls as you can’t hold back anymore. Giving into the immense pleasure, you release your tensed muscles, allowing yourself to cum at last.

“Cumming! Cumming! Cumming!” you repeat loudly, hoping he’ll hear you and stop.

But he doesn’t.

Your legs are shaking uncontrollably, just like your pussy pulsing violently around his cock, releasing your essence all over it. He’s still pounding into you, feeling no pity for your trembling body.

“I came Lo’ak! Please!” you beg, clawing at Lo’ak’s arm.

“Shh, little one. It’s alright, you can take it.” He reassures you, planting hickeys along your shoulders, ramming his cock even deeper into you. “It’s what you deserve for being a little slut. For touching Ao’nung.” He growls, pressing even harder against your clit.

“No! No... please!” you cry out, begging him repeatedly for mercy.

Tears stream down your face as you sob from the overstimulation. It feels like your clit is on fire, like your bladder is going to burst – like you’re going to cum all over again.

“I feel you heating up again, my sweetheart. It’s okay, you can cum.” He groans in your ear.

You sob loudly, as your face reddens from the swelling of your sweet spot. He’s fucking right into it, trying to make you gush all over him again. You feel your body pushing him out of you, tensing up again as you reach your second climax.

“Here? Right?” he pants, bucking his hips even harder into your sweet spot.

“F-fuck! Yes! Yes! Yes!” You sob as your entire body convulses, pushing his cock out of you while you squirt your nectar all over your trembling legs.

He pulls his hands away from your sore nipple and clit, wrapping them tightly around your waist to keep your knees from buckling. You slump into him, breathing erratically as you come down from your high.

“Shh... Shh. You did well, baby.” He whispers, lowering you onto your knees. “Here is your little break...” he grabs a fist full of your hair, turning you around to face his huge cock. “...you earned it.”

He looks down at your watery, drunk eyes as he pushes his cock into your face. “Taste yourself.”

You take a deep breath, before taking his tip into your mouth. From all the sobbing and begging from earlier, you had enough spit for him to slide his entire length into your mouth easily. The head of his cock hits the back of your throat, causing you to gag. His head dips back as he releases guttural groans into the air.

“Fuck.” he moans, pulling himself out of you. “Lie down and spread your legs for me.”

You know better by now not to disobey his orders. You were too fucked out to even talk back. You lay down on the mossy rock beneath you and open your weak legs. He sees your inebriated, weary eyes, and starts to pity you.

“Alright, my love. You’re okay.” He hums, gently wrapping your limp legs around his hips.

He crouches over you, looking deeply in your eyes, realizing how far he went. He wipes your tears away with the back of his hand and leans in to kiss you softly. He moves his wet kisses down to your shoulders, planting a kiss over every hickey he left behind.

“Do you want to stop?” he mumbles into your shoulder.

You look down to see his raging erection, jumping at the sight of your slit. “But you haven’t calmed down yet.” You mumble.

“So? It does not matter.” He mutters, unwrapping your legs from his hips.

“No, don’t.” you purr, tightening your legs around him, pulling him closer to you. “Keep going.”

He stops briefly, searching for your bluff in your eyes. You pull him his face closer to yours and kiss him feverishly. “I want you inside me, Lo’ak.”

You both watch as his cock disappears slowly into your body, inch by inch. Your gazes meet again now that you are forehead to forehead. He rocks into you languidly, as he caresses your thighs. Your breath hitches when his pelvis meets yours.

“You okay?” he asks, worried that you’re in pain.

“Mhm, feels good.” You breathe into his mouth.

“Y/n.” he states, thrusting lazily into you.

“Mmm?” you hum, closing your eyes to immerse yourself in pleasure.

“Will you be my mate?” he pants as his hips buck into you a little faster.

Your eyes fly open, surprised that he asked you that. He can see the shock in your face and kisses you gently.

“I mean it. I don’t care anymore. I don’t care what happens if I go against my father. Or Tonowari.” He pants between kisses. “I want you to be mine. For life.”

Here we go, crying again. The words touched your heart in a way you’ve always wanted his words to. He pulls away and hushes you, wiping away your tears once more.

“Don’t cry, my sweetheart.” He whispers, leaning back in to kiss you once more. “You mean more to me than anything else.”

You feel like you can’t get the words out – you’re so choked up. Instead, you just tug at his queue, bringing it over his shoulder.

“Say the words, my love. I don’t want to do this if you’re not sure.” He stops his movements, sitting up slightly.

You nod quickly, still tugging at his queue. “Yes, Lo’ak. Yes.”

His eyes lit up as the corner of his lips curved upwards. Lifting your head with one hand, he uses the other to stroke the length of your queue, bringing it over your shoulder. Taking his queue in your hand, you bring them together, watching them intertwine with one another. You both take a sharp breath when the bond is made, feeling each other’s breath, the thump of your hearts... the love you have for one another.

“I see you, my mate.” Lo’ak croaks, holding back his tears.

“I see you, ma Lo’ak.” You cry, kissing him passionately.

His hips rock into you once more, picking up speed quickly now that he can feel your arousal – your desire for him. He’s so deep inside of you it feels like he’s about to pierce through your cervix, right into your womb. He’s never gone this deep before. You struggle to catch your breath, as you look up into the sky to see the eclipse occurring.

How long have we been at this?

The fire in your chest is overflowing, trickling down your spine right into your womb. You feel sensations you’ve never felt before. You’re synced with him, feeling his climax quickly approaching. Not only that, but you can feel something else – something bigger asking for permission to come inside of you. Worried, you search your mates’ eyes for answers.

“Feel that?” he grunts, pushing his knot against your entrance. “’tis my knot. You think you can take it?” he asks breathlessly, through pursed lips and furrowed brows.

He’s never knotted you before. He always made up some excuse before, about why knotting is off the table. All you can muster up the energy to do is nod, as you open your legs even more to accommodate him.

“Wait. Did you get your heat?” he pants, trying to figure out the chances of getting you pregnant if he knots you right now.

“I – I got it... the week you left me. Mmn... The week that I took off - Ugh!” You whimper, feeling his knot trying to burrow its way inside of you.

“Fuck. Y/n. You should have told me.” He grunts, pushing his pelvis into you even more.

“I didn’t know! I thought... you told me... Oh – oh shit. Lo’ak that’s too big!” you blabber as your head feels cloudy. “I can’t –”

“Only I can calm your heat, y/n.” he grits his teeth, gripping your hips and pulling them closer to his.

Images of Ao’nung calming you during your heat unwillingly flashes through your mind. You can feel the jealously bubbling in Lo’ak’s chest - his territorial urges taking charge. He’s going to knot you, whether you like it or not. You hold on tightly to your mate, bracing yourself for Lo'ak to claim you as his.

You feel your pussy stretch to incomprehensible lengths as he shoves your hips down onto his thick, purple, veiny knot. Your moans start as low, lengthy mewls, eventually morphing into loud, strained grunts as it pops inside of you. You bury your face into his neck, breathing in his natural scent.

His cock throbs, spurting thick ropes of warm, sticky seed deep inside your womb. You hear his guttural groans and grunts right next to your ear, as he rocks into you every so often, ensuring to fill you to the brim.

“Mine.” He growls, slumping onto you.

“Lo’ak.” You croak, barely being able to breathe. “You’re squishing me.”

“Mmm.” He groans, rolling onto his back, bringing you with him.

You’re on top of him now, laying stomach to stomach, whilst your face is nestled into his chest. You take a few deep breaths, before closing your heavy-lidded eyes.

----

After caring for one another, you both make your way back to the village. Arriving at the shore, you dismount your ilus and walk hand in hand to the mangroves where you meet the displeased gaze of the Olo’eyktan and Jake. Behind them stood the rest of the sully family, and Tonowari’s family.

Everyone is trying to get a glance at the two of you through the two big-bodied men that stand before you. You both bow, sweeping your fingers from your forehead towards them, acknowledging their presence. They look at each of you, and then down to your intertwined fingers. Jake is visibly resisting the urge to skin his son in front of everyone, and Tonowari is giving you a very disappointed look. Ronal steps forward, looking the two of you up and down as she circles you both.

“Tonowari. What is this?” she yells, causing both your ears to lay flat.

Lo’ak lets go of your hand and steps in front of you.

“We are mated...” he mumbles, looking at his feet. “...for life.”

“That’s enough.” Jake interrupts, hissing under his teeth.

Lo’ak shakes his head, stepping back to hold your hand once more. “It is done. Before Eywa.” he looks up at his father, and Olo’eyktan.

Ao’nung makes his appearance, walking swiftly from behind his father, eyes locked tightly onto Lo’ak holding your hand. Lo’ak strides forward, almost lunging at Ao’nung. You pull him back to you, and tug on his arm.

“Don’t. Were already in a lot of shit, Lo'ak.” You whisper, squeezing his hand tightly.

“I don’t care. You are my mate, now.” he whispers loudly, hoping Ao’nung and the rest can hear him.

“Is that so?” you mutter under your breath, dropping your head to hide your grin.

Tags:@jakexneytiri @sweethoneycn @deadgirl02 @keijis-wifey @pandorxx @swiftielivvie @teyamfangirl @bl-lover-yaoi @sooebear @vanillawhale @bxnnywriting @athenachu @trashboat-the-raccoon @avaixe @itssiaaax @qweq-6802 @rodeosayu @girlpostingsposts @jakesullysbabygirl @rinloversworld @agelsully @zetey @boooogieman @jiafeimagic @eywascall @yawneneteyam @weirdomcu @pandxrastars @eichenhouseproperty @camgod78 @kibiscribbles @bedofpearls @kurtsworld096 @audrinawf @otukirey @deexdeez @c78r @bby-bo @neteyamsmate4life @wheniseeyouigogonutz @sullymenrhot @jakescumdump

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bcolfanfic · 1 month

Text

young vets au - robert no rizz rosie rosenthal headcanons (a collaboration with @swifty-fox)

stays active duty in the air force for a smidge longer than the other guys and almost goes down the JAG path but realizing he likes his law interest separate from the military is what kinda pushes him towards wanting to just go back to practicing law "normally".

moves to upstate new york, settles back in and makes a nice lil quiet life for himself. outside of work he likes watching birds and is a lil (a lot) nerdy- bless him. he's a good man savannah!!! a good man!!

the guys are always texting him pics of birds like hey. what is this.

adopts as a single dad which he will say over and over and over was the single best decision he ever made in his time on earth.

that little girl is his whole world plus some and he just adores her. since it's just the two of them they're super close. for not being his biologically, she's just about his clone.

his bird watching buddy, his best friend <3

but he does kinda wish it wasn't *just* the two of them sometimes. feels like he's gonna be the last one standing of the guys finding someone and settling down. (outside of demarco. he'll bring a new girl to every reunion until the end of time. it is what it is)

the guys try to set him up with women they know, friends, friends of friends, cousins etc

it doesn't go well, well.

he's attractive and a sweet man- it's just that he opens his mouth and...

"we should start telling these girls he's mute so he has a better shot at at least getting his dick wet" - demarco, to the "The Bachelor Rosenthal Edition" group chat one night

he's a good sport about things but it does get to him when he thinks about it for too long

is on the phone with curt one night and gets a little choked up talking about how he doesn't understand why he can't click with anyone like that, that he feels broken and like there's something wrong with him.

in his comforting him- curt's third eye flies open. takes him a hot minute to figure out how he's supposed to bring this up without freaking him out, but he gets there.

"'m gonna say something and you aren't gonna freak out on me, alright? have y'- have you considered that maybe it's not you, it's that they're y'know, women?"

no, rosie hadn't considered that.

after a longer come to jesus talk he agrees to let curt set him up with one of his buddies with the promise that curt will fill him in on everything first.

thinks curt is onto something with that earlier question, but he's a sweetheart and doesn't want to hurt this guy if they are wrong here.

and it ends up going, unlike every other date he's been on, good.

curt's friend is a little nerdy too. thinks rosie is just darling and is happy to listen to him yap about his job, bird watching and the air force and his daughter.

the group chat is popping bottles when it hits 11pm and none of them have heard from him about how it went yet.

few things in curt's life have made him feel more like a mastermind than when rosie eventually does touch base with him the next day.

"so y' got laid??"

"well uh- no, i uh, y'know, shotoffalittleearly."

curt loves him and doesn't wanna laugh at him but can't help it bc he just finds this whole thing so endearing LOL. tells him he's glad he had fun, he has time to work on well-

rosie doesn't let him finish that sentence.

which is ironic when he does end up texting curt (and bucky) with some uh questions about things that he didn't really want to google.

things with curt's buddy work out long term. rosie loves him, the guy loves rosie and more importantly, he adores his daughter. funny how life works out.

***they work out but their first fight rosie thinks its the end of everything even though it was over something super menial. texts curt to be like thanks for the set up/sorry i ruined it and curt is like buddy. he's been texting me asking if i can get you to talk to him. take a deep breath please.

#young vets au #masters of the air #rosie rosenthal #robert rosenthal

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atzfilm · 10 months

Text

— clair de lune. (m) - finale

genre; yandere, vampire!au, reincarnation! au angst, smut

pairing; ot8/f.reader, 21.2k~

warnings; major character death, manipulation, explicit scenes, murder, blood, smut (dubious), gaslighting, prior abuse/assault mentioned, knives, wounds, mass murder mention, blood exchanging, lying, mass delusions

summary; you’ve finally gotten the chance to enter “clair de lune”, a infamous nightclub to see the band hiraeth. but why did you feel like their eyes only watched you?

note: this fic deals with the subject of yandere. with that being said, a lot of the things happening in this fiction will be manipulation, gaslighting, and various other techniques displayed by the characters. if you are not comfortable with that, please do not read.

thank you to my best friend @hongism rereading for me .. <3

Chapter 8:

“He brought her to where Yeosang is,” Yunho says softly, watching his friend pace back and forth. Endearing how worried he seems to be, though they all know the likely end of this. You will never be convinced to become one of them, and their time is slowly ticking down. Yunho himself wouldn’t mind turning you now, so that he may deal with the decades of anger sooner rather than later. The others, excluding Wooyoung, not so much. Especially Song Mingi, biting his lip as he ponders his thoughts.

Though Mingi showed a tough facade to you in the beginning, he has always been softer. Blunt, sure, but his worry seems to supersede everyone else’s. There was a time that it burdened him too heavily for any of the others to pull him out, Yunho barely succeeding at doing so. Seeing him close to what he was like before does bother Yunho, but there is surely some way out of this situation.

“You’re letting this worry you too much, Mingi,” Yunho says, flipping through another page of his comic. He snorts at the dialogue. His gaze moved to Mingi’s feet, seeming to burn a path into the hardwood. Despite wanting to finish the book - he’s lingered on the same chapter for a while - he places it to the side, trying to meet the eyes of his best friend. “Hongjoong won’t let her be hurt.”

“Yeosang gets into these sprees when he’s too overwhelmed. I’m worried he won’t see y/n when he’s there. There's a chance–"

“Nonsense,” Yunho waves him off. “He’ll smell her before anything else. Might pull him out of his rage.”

“Might is not definitive.”

“She will pull him out of it, all right? Mingi, don’t let this affect you so much.”

Mingi closes his eyes for a moment, thinking. “It’s as if everyone else can worry but me. Don’t look at me like that. Nothing will happen this time, not like before.”

Though Yunho doesn’t respond, that only seems to fuel Mingi further. He slowly starts his pacing again, fingers digging into the palms of his hands. It’s not enough to break skin, no, but Yunho watches as he begins to lose himself in his thoughts. Interrupting will only worsen the situation so instead, he waits for him to understand his thoughts, to think it through before saying something. Mingi stops, looking back at Yunho.

“Could Yeosang have been right this whole time?”

“Min…”

“I know,” he holds up his hand. “I know that he’s stuck in his head just like I am. But should we just dismiss his thoughts? Should we let ourselves go through all of this again? She’s died once before Yunho, and it feels like it’ll happen sooner rather than later. We’re taking the same path.”

“We’re not. We aren’t even pirates this time. It’s different, Mingi,” Yunho sighs, rubbing his face. “I haven’t shoved blood down her throat. And I doubt any of us will.”

“You’re not listening to me-“

“What do you want me to say?!” His voice rises as he stands from the couch. “Tell you that I’d rather live another one hundred torturous years than force her to turn? Because that’s not what I want, and I know that’s not what you want either. We don’t want her to die. But if we let her live a full life without attempting to turn her, we all will suffer without her being around.”

“But what if that's what she wants?"

Yunho narrows his eyes. “What?”

“Why are we so selfish to force our ideals when it’s not what she desires? Yeosang has been a shell of himself ever since he turned. Why do we assume that she will be the same as she is now? In fact,” his gaze is glued to the floor. “If she is the same, turning her will only exemplify her emotions. Her hate toward us will turn into pure abhorment.”

“Waiting hundreds of years knowing she’s alive is better than letting her life cycle restart.”

He holds in his horror at his words. Mingi knew that Rose's death affected Yunho horribly, especially knowing that he was the one that forced her to murder in the beginning. But speaking of you as if you're not your own person? Mingi decides it is best to no longer try and convince his friend. “You’re right,” he lets the lie slip through his anger. “We cannot endure this again, can we?”

“Have you not seen us?” Yunho snorts, slowly sinking back into the cushions. “Our self-torture can only go on but so far. It will be all fine in the end, Min. Don’t worry about it.”

“I won’t.”

You’re not safe.

Hongjoong drags you through the front door, ignoring how you try to fight against his hold. It almost seems amusing to him, the slight smirk upon his lips, quirk of his brow. Enjoyment encasing his features. As if he finally has you and won’t let you go.

Your head is clearer now, absolute. Despite how kind any of them are – including Seonghwa, Yeosang, Mingi – they will never let you leave. It’s almost humorous to even think that they would have; each time you stepped a foot out of their gaze it was like you committed a felony. How unwise of you not to notice it sooner. It scares you how easily they’ve dug themselves into every part of your life - taking your home away, your friends. You’re sure there was influence on you applying for employment as well. Taking every escape away from you, keeping you to themselves.

“She will learn her place,” Hongjoong says, the grip on your arm so tight it feels as if he’ll pull it right from its socket. No matter how hard you tug he seems to ignore it, walking calmly pass the other men in the living area. The absence of Yeosang and Mingi is blatantly obvious, but you no longer have the will to ponder it. San and Wooyoung silently look on, quickly averting their gaze when you look at them. Yunho doesn’t, expression blank as he stares. Jongho, of course, does not bother facing you at all.

Seonghwa looks at you with pain. It’s sad how you no longer believe it to be real. Or at the very least, not for you. For the person's soul you've taken.

“We spoke about this, Joong,” Seonghwa starts, following close behind. “We said it would be different this time.”

He only scoffs, ignoring your screaming as he turns a corner. “What will we do then? Let her go on her merry way? You know that’s not possible now.”

“It is not now because you made it so,” he hisses, the two of them stopping in front of your door. Seonghwa crouches down, head tilted as he gazes upon you. All you can see is pity, his hand reaching out to touch your cheek. You flinch as he cups it, turning your head to meet his gaze. “It’s only for a few days. Just so that you get this out of your system, alright? We wouldn’t need to prolong it if there’s cooperation.”

“Fuck you,” you jeer.

"See?" Hongjoong seems to only sigh louder, pushing the door open and almost throwing you inside. You hold your head from hitting the floor, sliding across to the opposite side of the room. You struggle to lift yourself from the floor, body aching from the throw. You glance down at your hands, the blood from the dead in the restaurant dyed on your hands. You wipe them quickly, chest rising and falling.

There were so many dead. So many lives lost. You don’t notice how Seonghwa looks at you, wanting to step in and pull you out of your thoughts. He shuts his eyes for a moment, looking at his leader.

“Hongjoong.“

He holds up his hand. “She’ll learn her lesson soon enough. A few days of isolation will do wonders. Right, my sea?”

You don’t dare meet his gaze, nor try to run out the door. It’ll be foolish in the end, there’s eight of them and one of you. Why didn’t you listen to their advice?

Why didn’t you end it where it began?

It feels as if it’s spring outside; the window cracked just a bit for you to feel the warm breeze rush through. Vastly different from just a few days ago – the windchill almost suffocating, curtains closed as you tucked yourself beneath the blankets. You finally look away from the window when you see one of them appear, slowly making your way back into the cold sheets. Siyoon’s phone disappearing from the drawer only confirms your suspicions. If they are as guiltless as they make themselves out to be, it would still reside inside. Nothing sharp enough to hurt yourself with lying out and about. One of them searched your room when you left with Hongjoong. Now you’ll never know what happened to her. If she even survived her encounter with them.

The night Hongjoong dragged you back into this room is one you cannot forget. The pleas spilling from your lips as you begged for them to let you go, banging on the door. The sympathetic looks they gave you. As if you were the unstable one. As if all of this is your fault. Even Wooyoung, as guilty as he may be, gazed upon you with sympathy, an understanding nod as Hongjoong dragged you back inside, locking the door behind him. It's one of the last times you’ve seen him, and it’s been over a week since.

The first few nights were torture. They sealed your bedroom window, leaving it only open a crack for a bit of fresh air. The windows were coated with some sort of frost, hiding the outside world from your view. It only cemented the fact that no matter what you do or say, you’ll still be stuck in this room at the end of the day.

Now there’s nothing that could change your mind; Rose left for a reason. It wouldn’t surprise you if the two of you ended up in similar situations. Though she was stuck on a ship, and you are stuck in their home.

At least there’s the slightest chance that you can run.

“Your food is getting cold.”

Yunho stands at the door, hands tucked in pockets. He gives you a smile. You don’t have the energy to even pretend to care, shifting your gaze back to the frosted windows.

“No talking now?”

“Let me go.”

“Ah,” Though he speaks to your back, you can hear him run his fingers through his hair. “Eat and then we’ll talk about leaving.”

You roll your eyes, shifting your body to turn to him, “I should have noticed your lies from the beginning. It just comes so easily to you. What are you going to say next? I’m allowed to get some fresh air if I take a bite?”

His grin sticks, “Of course.”

“Go away, Yunho.”

“None of us want you stuck in this room, y/n,” he moves closer to the bed. You tense up immediately at his steps, eyes flicking to his hands. He holds them up in surrender, slowly sitting on the small stool. “We said it’d be temporary and we weren’t lying about that. If you want, you can sit outside and eat. I know you’re tired of looking out that window.” He gestures, dropping his hands. “We never wanted you to feel like a prisoner.”

“What a joke.”

“None of this would have happened if you cooperated,” he shrugs. “So, you want to go out or not?”

“If I say no?”

“Another week, unfortunately,” he frowns.

You slowly sit up, body numb from not moving for several hours. Yunho reaches out to steady you but you shift from his hand, shaking your head. They’ve hidden a lot from you; letting Yunho touch you is not the plan. You’d probably be put under some sort of spell. Of course, your imagination is very much working overtime, but months ago you wouldn’t have guessed that there was an underground vampire band that used to be pirates so consumed by their grief that they latch on to the reincarnation of their former lover.

Saying it in your head makes it even more unbelievable.

“You’re all sick, you know that right?” You murmur, sliding into your slippers. He doesn’t say anything, watching as you make your way to the plate of food. He takes it just as you’re about to grab it. “Yunho.”

“We’re going outside. You’re looking sickly without any sunshine, you should open the curtains a bit more. Light isn’t your enemy.” He steps to the side, gesturing to the open doorway. You’re not sure why the sight makes your anxiety start to rise. But you leave anyway, Yunho close behind you. The hallways are quiet as you step through the home. The back door is already ajar. You can see others just outside. One in particular stands out amongst the rest, sitting idly by the door. You still, causing Yunho to bump slightly into you as you do.

“I want to go back.”

“No.”

“Yunho–”

“I know there’s still a backbone in there somewhere, pretty,” he whispers, “Use it.” He pushes you slightly, forcing you to step further to the outside.

You stumble as you walk through the doors, desperately trying to calm your heart down enough. How have they beaten you down to the point where you cannot function properly around them? One man shouldn’t terrify you so much. You ignore his eyes, feeling them trail after you as you quickly make your way to the bench after slipping into your outdoor shoes, leaving the others to the side. The last time you were here, you enjoyed your time with Jongho. The memory is happy enough to ease your heart slightly, slow breaths escaping you. You sit down, Yunho placing the plate on a small table in front of you, a water bottle adjacent.

“See? Not so bad,” he pats the table, stretching. “I have to run out, but the others will keep you entertained enough. See you later, pretty.”

“Wait-”

He turns and walks before you can say another word. Your fists rest upon your thighs, gaze glued to the plate in front of you. From the quick glances before, you spotted Hongjoong, San, and Wooyoung lingering outside. Your body is too exhausted to think about where the others may be. The sun is bright today, hot against your skin as you slowly take a bite of the food. Your eyes move to the side, San and Wooyoung leaving promptly. You grip your plate, staring at the chest of the man who slowly makes his way over to you. Fear is what drives you now, looking in his eyes too much for you. All you can think of is the way he grinned as blood coated his hands and clothing, the way he laughed as he threw you into the room.

"Nice to see you after a few days, my sea," he sits on the grass in front of you, keeping enough distance for you to calm down slightly. You look back at the plate, unable to respond. "Nothing to say to me?"

"No."

He slowly drops his body against the lawn, hands resting behind his head. You inadvertently look at his face. The same sly smirk rests against his lips, brows lifting quickly when you finally look at his eyes.

You take another bite.

"Have you slept?"

"How could I when I'm in a house with people who want to kill me?" You say, teeth clenched.

"Being a vampire isn't killing you, y/n. It's another life. Extending your human one beyond what you can think of. It's a gift."

"It's a curse," you whisper. "Humans shouldn't live that long."

"Once you turn you're no longer human, so that doesn't really matter, does it?"

You place your chopsticks down, taking a slow breath. There's no use in speaking to him about it. He's lived long enough to twist your words. make it fit into his. And the other you’s probably had this same exact conversation with him dozens of times. “And then what comes after? Eternal suffering?”

“After turning? Anything you desire. You’ll have the world at your feet, just as we do.”

“It must be quite easy for you to assume,” you note, tucking your knees further into your chest. “Assuming that I will decide to live with you for however long I will be ‘alive’–“ you motion quotes with your fingers– “It’s a bit presumptuous to believe that I will never leave your side. And forcing me to will only work for so long. There will be a point when I decide that I’m sick of it and run.”

“You have yet to run though,” Hongjoong shrugs, gesturing to the gate. “It's been open for quite a while now but you lack an attempt to make a run for it.”

Scoffing seems to only lessen the impact of his words. What if you were to make a run for it? You doubt they would let you out of their sight for a moment. You can only think back to when Seonghwa let you go in that supermarket. You’re sure that everything would be in a different shape if you never arrived back home. What if… what if you didn’t show back up? Seonghwa gave you the out. The perfume that hides your smell, pheromones. You had the chance and you didn’t even take it.

Has there ever been a moment where you would have?

“Will you chase after me?”

He only smiles.

“Then what’s the point of me running? I doubt I’d get over the threshold without one of you stopping me.”

“Have you lost your drive to survive?” he raises a brow. “Or have you settled? The sea that I know wouldn’t allow us to keep her here without at least attempting to fight for it. It is only saddening to look at.” Despite his words his grin only seems to widen as he watches you. He’s desired this. He's always yearned for you to be subdued, underneath his fervent whims. Abiding by them only worsens the situation. But you cannot imagine yourself not giving up, fighting through it. You’ve tired yourself out over this year of meeting them. Who knew that the snarky woman at Clair de Lune would allow herself to be broken down into this empty shell? You know now that Rose wouldn’t have settled. She would have probably taken her life long ago.

It’s strange that you have yet to consider that path yourself.

“Who turned her?”

“Excuse me?” He’s mocking you now. "Couldn't quite hear you."

"Who turned Rose, Hongjoong? Which one of you did it?"

"Why do you care? Do you want to reenact it again? I wouldn't mind it, sure. But that's a bit strange even for you."

Oh. Fuck you.

“Wooyoung insists that it wasn’t him,” you start, knowing that this conversation could easily be turned on you. “And I believe him. But what I don’t understand is why her death is being hidden from me. What’s there to hide if she killed herself as you all have said? If it’s true, you could talk about it. If it’s true, you wouldn’t hide it from me.”

“Who are you to tell us what we’re thinking?” Though he still has the teasing grin on his lips, his eyes shifted, more narrowed. “Would it make you sleep better at night, knowing what truly happened to her? Would it change your mind about us, make you see us in a different light? Because as I see right now, you’re completely terrified of being in the same room as us. Pouring gasoline on the fire isn’t going to put it out.”

Though he doesn’t admit it blatantly, you can read between the lines. It’s true; Wooyoung didn’t kill her. He killed Yeosang, yes. But not Rose. And from what you know thus far Hongjoong wouldn’t hesitate to tell you it was him or Yeosang. He’d probably do it on purpose to make you fall deeper into yourself. But why hide it?

What would he gain?

Hongjoong stands, brushing off the strands of grass from his slacks. “I’d love to play with you some more, but we have a show. Mingi is somewhere around to entertain you whenever you decide to leave this spot. See you later, sea.” He waves slightly, leaving you alone outside. You glance at the open gate. There’s no one around that you can see but you know they’re watching. Waiting for you to take a step to it. You close your eyes for a moment, letting out a long breath.

Are you truly stuck here?

There seemed to be silent agreement amongst the men. Averted gazes, stepping out of the room when you enter. Even Wooyoung, as boisterous as he is, avoids you as you walk down the hallways. The feeling is eerie; watchful eyes at every corner, behind every door. The freedom to roam only makes you feel more trapped. More secluded. You wonder if this was their captain’s plan all along.

Your grip on the ceramic cup Mingi slides to you is tight. Lips firm. It’s strange how alone you feel in a house filled with people.

“Are you all right?” Mingi keeps his distance, leaning against the far wall. There’s a bit of a frown on his lips. He’s never shown you mock concern, but that was before you were forced into these walls. Now you don’t think your read of their expressions is accurate at all. “y/n?”

“Fine,” you remain tight lipped, placing your cup on the counter. You lift the coffee pot, slowly pouring it. You pretend not to notice the knives sitting on the countertop, only an arm’s reach away. “As fine as I can be while being kidnapped.”

You wait for him to excuse their behavior, say something along the lines of It’s not like that, we love you. A part of you hopes he does so you can tear apart the argument piece by piece. Instead, he nods solemnly, a sigh breaking the silence.

“It’s inexcusable.”

That makes you stop for a moment and turn to him. He sends you a closed-lipped smile, shrugging.

“There’s not much else I can say but that.”

“Shocked you’re not begging on your knees for me to forgive you,” you admit, placing the pot back down. The warmth causes a shutter through you, hands cupping the coffee. “Or telling me to go see Hongjoong.” Hongjoong told you just before he left that if you wanted to know details, you could just ask him. Alone, of course. Exactly the one thing you'd never do.

He laughs dryly then, “Would you even agree to it?”

“Hell no.”

“Then there’s no use in me even asking.”

“What’s up with you, Mingi?” Though the question is reasonable, there’s layers to it. He’s been off ever since that day the two of you were taken and kept in Subin’s home, or whatever it was. The day that he found out you were slowly being poisoned. It’s as if something shifted with him. Sure, he was annoyed with you in the beginning and it drifted to a fondness. But nothing this odd. He looks as if he’s in neverending pain.

Wait.

No. You’re not about to do this. There’s no reason to be worried for him. Feeling sympathy toward a person who is holding you against your will isn’t smart.

He shakes his head slowly, “I just, I worry for you. I know you won’t believe my words because I’ve broken your trust, but I am scared.”

“Of?”

“What we are doing to you,” his voice is low, eyes widening as he says it. His pupils tremble as they stare at you, full of aversion and panic. “I’m afraid of the past continuing to repeat. It’s frightening how similar it is.“

“You say that and yet here I stand across from you, unable to leave while you look at me with pity. I’ve got to say, Mingi, you almost fooled me.” You snort, ignoring the way your heart pounds. He can hear it, you’re sure of it.

“They’re not home,” he starts. “I’m the only one here.”

“So?”

“I’m the only one here,” he repeats.

You still, gaze moving back to him. “You would let me go?”

“You wouldn’t get far.”

“Mingi, you would let me leave right now?”

Though there is pain in his eyes, he nods. “I’d do anything for you. But you have to hurry, y/n. They’re—”

You don’t let him finish, dropping the cup from your hands and turning down the hallway. There’s no time to grab anything but your bag that hangs by the door. Just as you swing the door open, you meet the eyes of Jeong Yunho. His widens briefly before sighing, running his fingers through his hair.

“Didn’t I tell them that Mingi shouldn’t be home alone with you?” He steps inside, stepping around you. You don’t bother exiting the house, the others slowly making their way up the path. “Running away at the slightest chance. I told them this would happen. They were all worried about Seonghwa when we should have been watching Mingi.”

Mingi swallows slowly, looking at you with sympathy. The others enter the home, talking amongst each other as they step around you. They all wear their outfits from the show, not bothering to clean off the blood of their victims. Most are stained, except Jongho. And again, Yeosang is nowhere to be found. You doubt you’ll ever see him again after what you’ve witnessed. Hongjoong is the last to enter, slowly closing the door behind him. He closes his eyes for a moment, rubbing the space above his brows.

“What was the end goal, my sea?” He asks, turning to you. “Where were you going to go?”

“Hongjoong—”

“Ah,” he holds up his hand, stopping you just as you begin to speak. “Better that I not know so I don’t mess up your little plans, right?” His smile drops when he looks at Mingi, eyes narrowed. “You said you would watch her.”

“I’m sorry,” he whispers. “I didn’t think she would run—”

“A foolish thought. An even foolisher one that you would let her.” Hongjoong interrupts, eyes flicking to yours. “Yeosang would be hurt that you’d just run away, you know.”

“I don’t care what he thinks.”

“Is that so?” His brow lifts. “Then what about Mingi? Seonghwa? Jongho? You would leave us all without blinking?”

“This is not a life, Hongjoong!” Your voice rises, throwing your hands in the air. “What do you expect me to do? Just sit here and take it? Let you turn me into whatever you want? Generations of my soul didn’t want it, Joong. I myself don’t want it either. I just want to go home.” You can feel your breath quickening, heart beating against your chest. “Why won’t you let me go home?”

“What home, y/n? Your apartment is gone. Or are you speaking of your family? Parents? Oh my beautiful sea,” he tsks, shaking his head. “They don’t want you. They’ve never wanted you.”

“Stop,” you shake your head. “I won’t listen to you.”

He takes another step to you, forcing you to shrink into the corner of the room. The others do nothing to stop him. “You know it yourself. That’s why you ran to Seoul. Because they didn’t want you, remember? You begged for them to listen to your dreams, to accept you as you are. But they disowned you, told you that they were no longer your parents. You pleaded over and over but they only forced you out with one suitcase, and barely one thousand won. Pretending it didn’t happen doesn’t stop it from being true,” he places his hand on your cheek, pressing his lips against your forehead. They feel abnormally hot on your skin. “We’re your family now, y/n. We’ll take care of you.”

No. They didn’t… did they? Your memories begin to jumble. And just as clear as day, you remember the way your father shouted at you, telling you to leave. How you cried, falling to your knees. That’s not true, no. He loved you. He… hated you.

“I’m sorry Rose, it’ll be quick okay? Really quick, I will not let you suffer.” Jongho pushes his hand against your mouth as Rose–you, cry out. Your hands grip his arms, gagging as you accidentally swallow his blood. He pulls away, letting you fall to the wooden boards. You cough, desperate to get it out of your body. Realizing that you cannot, you try to stand, only for him to stand above you, holding a silver knife. His eyes are wide. He is smiling. Smiling as he stands over your body. You've never seen him this terrifying before. You try to speak, gagging at the blood in your mouth.

“It’ll be quick, Rose.” He brings it against your neck as you gasp, your screaming cut off. You feel it sink into your skin, gripping it tightly. Hongjoong moves around him, crouching next to you. His eyes flick over yours, ubiquitous glee radiating from his gaze. He leans down, pressing a soft kiss against your forehead as the pain consumes you.

"y/n! Are you there? Can you hear me?" Jongho’s grip on you is tight. shaking your body over and over again.

Your hands grab his, pushing them off. He looks confused as he moves closer to you, but you cry out, backing up against the wall. The others look at you with worry, Hongjoong conveniently no longer in the room. You touch your face, wincing as your fingers brush against the cuts. When did they appear on your skin? Your eyes flick to Jongho, remembering. He killed you, her. Jongho was the one who did it.

It was never Wooyoung.

You fall to your knees, feeling him quickly move to touch you. "Get the fuck away from me!" Your head whips around, glaring. "Do not touch me, Jongho."

"y/n, I know a lot is happening right now—"

"You," your legs push you farther into the corner, eyes swelling with tears. "It was you all along. I thought it was Wooyoung, I blamed him but it was you. It was always you." The tremors through your body seem to only rise as you push through the thoughts. Your head throbs, eyes shut. "You killed her."

"Please just let me explain."

You shake your head, slowly standing. "She… you all lied. She never wanted to be like you, just like Yeosang. Both of them wanted to be human and you forced them to be like you. Because you're all fucked!" A half laugh, half gasp leaves your lips, thoughts scattered. "Why am I still here? I need to go, I need—"

"Why does every incarnation of you just never listen? Why do we have to go through this every time?" Yunho sighs, rubbing his face. "It would've been so easy if you just cooperated, y/n. It all would be easy." He slowly shuts the door behind him, the grip on his knife tightening. When did he get that? "We could've done it differently this time, my love."

The tension in the room shifts as he speaks. Wooyoung keeps his gaze low, Mingi staring at his friend. He looks furious, fists curled into themselves. “Yunho—”

“Say another word, Song, and I’ll kill you myself.”

"No one is killing anyone," Seonghwa enters the room, barely giving Yunho a glance. He looks at you, a small smile on his lips. "Want to talk? Alone?"

In all honesty you want to be left alone completely, but that will never be the case. Instead, you give him a weak nod, letting his hand slip into yours. Just as you're about to leave the room, you stop him. Whatever is happening between Mingi and Yunho, their friendship is crumbling in front of you. You just have this strange feeling that if you leave them alone something would happen. It's human nature; despite their lack of care for your own life, you care for theirs. Out of fear you avoid Jongho and Yunho's eyes, looking at Mingi.

"Can you come too?"

None of you say a word as you sit in the room together. Your head is tucked between your knees, breath shaky as you try to think this through. None of them will help you, you’re sure of it. Even with Mingi’s attempt, you’re sure he won’t do it as easily as before. Hongjoong might convince him otherwise. How he pulled those memories out of you, you’d never be able to explain. All of it is just so much, so heavily weighed on you. Everything is just too overwhelming.

“Do you need air?” Seonghwa asks softly, crouching in front of you. He doesn’t touch you or hold your hand and you’re thankful for it, emotions slowly taking over.

“I don’t know if I can take this anymore,” you admit, lifting your head just enough to show him your moist gaze. “My friend is dead, my parents disowned me. Seungwoo tricked me into caring about him and he’s gone now too. Yeosang is…” Your voice catches in your throat. “I have no one, Seonghwa. I don’t think I’ve ever had anyone. I’m alone.”

Waiting for his reassurances, telling you that you have them, it never comes. He rests his head against the foot of the bed, barely a centimeter or so away from where you rest. Your body shakes, trembling. You wonder if he realizes that there’s nothing he could say that would convince you that you’re not in danger, that you’re safe around them. The more you think about it, he’s a part of the few who told you that they apologize for what they’ve done - despite continuously doing it. It all feels mute now. The more you try to convince yourself that everything is fine, the more you fold into your own thoughts.

Nothing is fine. You’re sure that it never was.

“Was it the change that made him do it?” You ask, “Did turning into this make him unstable? Make all of you not as you were?”

Mingi scoffs, a light laugh escaping him. “It’s like we’re experiencing the same conversation over again.”

“You should have learned from the first time. Rose warned you and yet you made her take her life because she was terrified of all of you. You did this to her, whether you’d like it or not.” All of the visions are beginning to add up. Realizations one after the other. In the end Hongjoong was right; it didn’t matter who killed Rose, or this Cassia that he mentioned. It didn’t matter because your soul would never be free if they continued this cycle. Each time you died was because you rejected one of them. Hongjoong was the first, sure, but whatever poison that infects their bloodstream made all of them the same. All of your thoughts are forming one conclusion.

You have to let them turn you.

The thought makes you ill, body shivers. It makes sense. Every rejection led to death, every single time. Even now, before this revelation, you promised yourself you’d find a way to end your life before living as a vampire. But why let your soul continue the endless torture when you can just stop it? Perhaps you would enjoy your life after this. Maybe, eventually, you’ll learn to love them, enjoy them. You did before all of this. It wasn’t hard. It was strangely easy.

You reach to the side, opening your drawer to grab a tissue. You tense up, remembering that Siyoon’s phone is no longer in its place.

“Did you listen to anything I’ve said?” Seonghwa asks, pulling you away from the drawer. “Are you alright?”

You stare at the blank space, blinking slowly. “Can we have dinner together?”

His eyes widened, looking back at Mingi before standing. “Oh, I can grab a plate for you. I think Yunho was preparing something—”

“No, I want to eat together. With everyone, if that’s okay.”

The room is loud. Having eight people talking all at once, laughter in the air as they speak of different things makes you forget for a moment that they aren’t evil. That you’re not safe the longer you stay here. Your resolution from before begins to crack. Are you truly okay with being one of them? The metal smell of blood seeps through the air, your stomach turning as you watch them swallow it from glasses, mixed with other strange substances. None of them mention Yeosang’s absence, the chair pushed in as they pass around miscellaneous things. You can’t help but focus on it. He’s hated his life for over a hundred years. Your heart feels like it’s sliding through your body, sinking into the old hardwood floors. It’s scary, the effect he has on you. His absence has gone through you, you’ve tried burying the thoughts but they only seem to come back into your shaky hands, consuming every waking thought.

Is this how they feel? You planned this dinner to be an intervention, to question them as to what happened to Siyoon’s device. But all you’re doing is selfishly thinking of yourself and not her. Perhaps you’re not much different from them. It’s far too late to run away. Each part of them already lives there. You wish that you had more time. Your eyes shift to Jongho. Did you love him, despite it all? The way he pressed his hand against her lips, forced her to turn. He did not do that to you, no. But would he? Would your Jongho make you choke on his blood with a tender look in his eyes as your life faded? He seems to notice your stare, round eyes meeting yours. There’s care in them, worry, hurt. Regret. The feelings are so overwhelming that you force yourself to leave his eyes, watching the others. He doesn’t look away. Is this feeling what most want? To have someone unable to look away even when you have?

“Which one of you took Siyoon’s phone from my drawer?” The table silences in an instant. You look up from your cold dinner, sliding your gaze from face to face. None of them speak up, as if you didn’t ask a question at all. You swallow slowly. “Is she dead?”

“Yes,” Jongho speaks up. The tone is careful as he whispers. “But I want you to listen to my words carefully, y/n—”

You should have known. Nothing can be good with them. Nothing. “One of you killed her.”

Jongho shakes his head, “y/n—”

“Stop! Stop making me think I’m some fucking crazy person!” You stand up from your seat, hands gripping the wooden table. Through your anger you can see how Hongjoong sips his drink silently, not saying a word. “One of you took her phone away from me and probably destroyed it before I could read what’s on it. Pretending that you didn’t hurt her in any way to keep me here. Jongho, your lies aren’t going to work this time. Not. This. Time.”

“Would you like her phone?” Hongjoong’s brow quirks. He digs into his pocket, the familiar cases appearing in his hands. Without another word, he stands, placing it in front of you. The familiar pink casing staring back at you. “Be my guest. Fair warning; you won’t enjoy what’s on there. She wasn’t the kindest person in the world.”

You ignore his warnings, immediately entering her password. The table is quiet as you look through the various apps. Nothing is out of sorts, not even her emails. Your thumb hovers over the messages, before pressing the icon. It’s filled with unread messages, most sending their sympathies and condolences. But your brows furrow at one chat, the name of it unsettling.

You open it. It’s a group chat between her and several others, many of whom you recognize as acquaintances you met through Siyoon. You read through it, each message sinking in. Insults in between jokes about you, many of which are from Siyoon herself. Endlessly complaining about you, telling the rest that she was using you for her own gain. Messages that date back to even before you met the men who sit in front of you now. Your vision begins to blur as you control to scroll, stopping at the first message in the group chat.

It was a week after you met Siyoon.

siyoon: think we can use her for better grades?

You close the phone, mouth dry. "Did you kill her?"

"No," Jongho says again. “That night, the night we met. She was with someone, they said. A Jaehyeong? I can’t remember his last name. But they were together, and he…” Jongho trails off. “It was a car accident, y/n. They both died.”

The air feels colder as you think back to the night. Leaving her with him despite the red flags. She wasn’t drunk, nor was he, but there was just something off about that night. You were too involved with yourself to think it through clearly. In fact, you’re sure that you told her to message you when she got back home. Thinking about it now, you’ve never received that text.

You don’t take their word for it, opening the web browser on her phone and typing in their names. It’s the first article of a few, a car accident that killed the lives of two innocent young adults. No alcohol in their systems. The phone slips through your fingers, face down against the table.

“How long did you know?” You ask softly. “How long?”

“Not too long after Seonghwa saw you in the bookstore,” Yunho admits, taking another sip of the drink. “We didn’t know you well enough back then, so we thought you knew of it already. It was a bit of a shocker that you didn’t up to this point. When we found the phone in your drawer, that’s when we realized where you went when we lost you in the supermarket.”

Your head slowly shakes on its own as the information sinks in. Unbeknownst to you, the rest of the men in the room exchange looks over you.

“She’s gone.” You hold your hand over your mouth, tears falling down your cheeks, dripping against the table. Seeing your friend Siyoon, her words egregious, makes you feel all but nauseous. It doesn’t change the fact that she’s gone, but it hurts knowing she felt that way about you. That you were just a tool in her life, when you thought you were more than that.

You've felt alone before, but the sinking feeling that you have not one person in this world who cares about you is utterly terrifying.

Hongjoong sits on the balcony, Seonghwa and San across from him. He tends to a cup of wine, sipping slowly as he looks out into the surrounding forest. He hasn’t heard from Mingi or Jongho, guiding you to your room once you’ve found out. A part of him forgot that you still had that brief connection with the woman, immediately giving the phone to Wooyoung once he found out about it. He’s thankful that you were too distraught to notice anything strange about the messages, dates and communications slightly off. But it convinced you enough, the device forgotten as you sink into your grief.

He glances at the other two across from him, lids heavy. “Would either of you care so much for a woman who insulted you and used you in your past?”

San hesitates before speaking. “They were friends, Hongjoong. She cared for her. It would be hard not to feel immense grief at the thought of losing someone that close. She will be devastated for a long time.”

He sighs, taking another sip. “Then we have to delay turning her.”

“Is this… not too far?” Seonghwa asks, already predicting his answer. “She has lost her friends, family. You never told us you would manipulate her thoughts that way. Now she believes that her family hated her.”

He merely shrugs, “They would have anyway once they saw their daughter as one of us. Her parents were quite traditional. She hid every relationship from them in fear of their rejection. Ours wouldn’t have been much different.”

“And Yeosang, then? Will we continue to force them apart?”

“Of course not, hyung.” It’s a farce in itself, knowing that Hongjoong is thousands of years older than he is. “Do you truly consider me that mad?” He rolls his eyes. “I told Yeosang to come home whenever he likes. He is the only one preventing himself from entering these doors. He’s afraid of what she might say to him. Not unwarranted — she did see him at his lowest. It would be a bit hard for her to see him without imagining that blood covering his body.”

“I just don’t understand,” San stands from his spot. “How will all of this make her want to be one of us? She’s just brewing in her hurt now. It’s worse than Rose now. There’s no chance she’d agree, or live that long to accept herself.”

“You never think of the bigger picture, San. She is hurting so badly now, thoughts darker and more vulnerable. Now she really has no one but us. There's no need to convince her because she'll come to the conclusion herself." He grins, leaning further back in his seat. "And I will be waiting with open arms."

Wooyoung wipes the blood against his jeans, some of it sticking to the underside of his nails. They haven't killed anyone; their thoughts wiped as they stumble down the street, told to go back to their homes. He slumps himself onto the bench. After being turned he considered himself a less caring man. He knows it, more than the others tell him. But seeing you so defeated… it made him feel filthy. No amount of blood draining helps him forget the distant look in your eyes. You looked so alone. It reminded him of his former life; abandoned and distraught. He knows that if Seonghwa didn't find him sooner, he wouldn't have survived for much longer.

He lifts his hands, staring at his palms. Is this what they've become? Shells of their former selves? Losing you devastated him. He could remember the murder sprees they went on, full of grief. Not caring who or what they killed. So consumed with turmoil for years. He thought that when he saw you again, his peach, it would be okay again. You would love him as you did before with ease, care for him. But it just feels the opposite. That he's trying to convince you to give him a chance.

He leans his head back, staring at the night sky. It's a bit colder now despite the change in seasons, the summer breeze chilly.

He scoffs, rubbing his face.

Maybe he is completely delusional.

Your knees are tucked close to your chest. You're not sure if you can cry anymore, body exhausted from the hours of sobbing. You stare at the door, knowing that even if they're giving you space, you couldn't do anything without them knowing. Their hearing far supersedes yours. It wouldn't surprise you if your heart beat is being listened to. You close your eyes for a moment.

You have nothing. Just them, just their endless and unconditional affection. No friends, no family. Not even a slip of a memory that Rose could give you. Nothing.

It's scary to think about.

"I want to see him." You whisper.

It pains you to even think of his face, but you need to see him. You need him to tell you that he's there. That he won't abandon you when you make your choice.

"Please."

Mingi stands outside the abandoned cemetery. His hand grips the rusted gate, chest tight. It's funny that he could feel it despite his heart no longer functioning at all. All of them know where he went. It's hard not to when they're all so in tune to each other. But here? The place that Mingi avoided with everything that he had. The place they buried their beautiful Rose. He takes a long breath, taking slow steps inside. Her grave isn't too far away from the entrance, but it makes him want to break down the closer he gets. He spots Yeosang not too far off, sitting in a folded chair, eyes glued to her grave.

He wears the same outfit he left home that night. Clothing still stained with dried blood, ripped every which way. Smell putrid, nauseating if Mingi were a human. But he's used to the smell of the dead. It's a smell that appears when they haven't fed or moved in a while. None of them really let themselves get that far into decaying, but Yeosang does quite often. A form of self torture, Mingi thinks. A method that he once used when he let his thoughts take over.

"That's something you and y/n have in common. Never say a word until I speak up," Yeosang says. His voice sounds hoarse. This is probably the first time he's said a word aloud in weeks; deeper tone much more so. He doesn't move though, back still facing Mingi as he makes his way over. "I'm not going back if that's what you're here for."

"We want to make sure you're okay."

"Right. They wouldn't send you if they did care."

"You know we care, Yeosang. Don't start with that," Mingi knows he's partially correct. Hongjoong planned on coming himself but Mingi insisted it be him. Wooyoung was usually the first to break Yeosang. Mingi never really understood how to speak to him. They're friends, sure. Family. But he and Yeosang aren't as close as the others. There's often silence when they're together. Comforting, but quiet. "I wanted to come."

"Did you." A statement, more than a question.

"It's been weeks, Yeo."

“And it’s usually years before one of you decides to come find me.”

Mingi sighs, “You know it’s different this time.”

“Ah yes. This time you have your Rose, and you want everything to be perfect for her. My apologies for messing things up again. Tell Hongjoong I give him my condolences.”

“She’s not just mine.”

“No, she’s his. She’s always been his. Alas, I have forgotten,” He rolls his eyes, “What do you believe is holding us together after all these years? And if there is any answer other than her, it’s a lie. We’ve all desired in different ways, what we would do if she came back to us. And now that she’s here, everyone is only caring about their own feelings. Have you not considered hers? Do hers matter in the grand scheme of things? Do we truly want her for as she is now, or how she was before?

“You think we don’t care?”

“Not necessarily. I think you care for a woman who’s no longer there. What do you know of her now that isn’t something from before? Wooyoung called her peach with such ease, Hongjoong called her his sea. Nothing that we have done thus far is for the woman in front of us now. We have wrecked her life so that we ourselves can live in a falsehood. The only reason we still tolerate each other after decades of fighting is because we have her as the reward at the end. You may consider me wrong, fine. But I’m not deluded into this fantasy that you’ve all formed.”

Mingi looks at Yeosang sitting on the rock. He looks tired for an immortal, eyes heavy, skin paler from lack of blood supply. It’s strange that despite all his words Mingi can tell that he loves her. He was never this passionate about Rose, never this protective over her well-being. In a bizarre way, the man sitting in front of him may love you more entirely. No one fights for a life this desperately without love.

“You adore her, don’t you, Yeo?” Mingi asks softly. His brows seem to furrow in pain at the question, mouth opening and closing. He takes a long breath, gaze on the city in front of them. “What will you do, then? Let us turn her?”

“... I can’t stop it.”

“You’d give up so easily?” Mingi’s brow lifts.

“Have you? You tell me to do something you know I cannot, and complain about me being resigned in my position? And make it into my problem when you're as concerned as I?" He scoffs, sinking deeper into his seat. "Mingi, you've lived long and have known me well enough to not ask stupid questions."

"I'm accepting it because I don't see another way," he admits. "You wish to no longer be immortal, but I can't imagine not being one. I can't imagine being a human again. And I can't imagine losing her because of it. It's horrid, no need to look at me like that."

Yeosang tries to fix his expression, only twisting further into silent disgust. He looks away from his friend. The sky seems more interesting than the conversation they're having. "I'm glad you know how stupid you sound."

"I know. Might be because we're all slowly falling into our madness without you around."

"Shiny words won't make me come back."

"...She needs you, Yeosang. More than you know. I think you're the only one who can pull her out of this."

"Nothing you say is going to make me want to come back—"

"She asked for you."

Yeosang is silent. It feels like a lifetime has passed when he speaks up again.

"Lying is a sin."

"Then my words must make me all the more blessed."

Yeosang grips the railing, "Did she truly, Mingi? You aren't fibbing this time? Hongjoong didn't put you up to this?"

"No. Yeosang, you're a fuck-up just like the rest of us. But she loves you. She wouldn't give up on you."

Yeosang sucks in a breath, turning back to the grave. He lifts his hand, as if to reach out. Instead, it limply falls back to his knee.

"I love her, Mingi. I love y/n, I probably love her more than I've ever loved Rose. And it fucking terrifies me," he runs his fingers through his hair, only causing it to stick up more. "I can't see her because I will break down. I don't know what I'll do if she doesn't forgive me. I don't even deserve to be forgiven for killing all of those people. I—" He looks at Mingi, eyes glazed over with a pink tint. "I would try to turn her right then and there to make her forget."

“You wouldn’t.”

“And I would have believed that before everything happened. Now I’m not too sure. It might be what Hongjoong is banking on. Me losing control like I always do. I can’t, Mingi. I can’t see her when I’m like this,” he glances down at himself, thumbing his soiled clothes. “Even more so with this on me. It’ll just remind her of what I’ve done.”

“One, you’re not going to hurt her,” Mingi holds up his hand when he sees Yeosang opening his mouth. “And two, take a shower?”

"Mingi…"

"Prolonging it will only make it worse in the end. Don't be a fool, Yeosang. We already have enough of those around us, including me."

Yeosang turns back to the headstone, a solemn look on his face. "Rose would strangle us all if she knew what we're doing. In moments like this, I cannot help but miss her presence. She was often kind but stern with her words. I am sure all of us would have been scolded to the ends of the Earth."

Mingi's lips curve into a small smile. "We'd leave with burning ears and ringing heads."

Yeosang laughs then, shaking his head. His smile slips again, swallowing slowly. "I'll think about it, Mingi. I know you're not lying, and she requested me. But though she is ready, I'm not. Not yet."

"Then I will stay with you until you are."

"You don't have to do that," he glances at him. "I know you dread this place."

Mingi only sinks to his knees next to his friend, resting against the side of the large rock. Yeosang does not discourage him, allowing him to join as they stare at the stone.

At their Rose.

You can't remember how much time has passed. Sadness burdens your soul, your feet dragging against the tiles, barely acknowledging anyone who passed by. Holding back your tears each time you think of your friend. It's enough that you've broken down in front of them, it would be silly for it to happen over and over again. Your pride speaking, but it's all you have left.

You feel the air shift as you're shifting your blankets on the bed. Your grip tightens when you sense someone standing at the doorway. They've announced themselves each time, but this feels much different. You slowly let go of the sheets, turning around. His hair is in disarray, baggy sweats covering him. Eyes bloodshot, skin paler than usual. Frightened as well, hand gripping the doorway, fingers almost digging into the wood. His body trembles, lip between his teeth as he stares.

"Yeosang?" Your voice is rough, eyes moist.

His smile is slight, swallowing slowly.

"Hi, pretty."

He steps inside, sliding his hand against the wall. He stops when he's on the far opposite wall, glancing around your room. It's in as much disarray as he looks. Clothes thrown everywhere, items in the wrong places. His eyes stay on the window briefly, the bars against it making his brows furrow for a moment, before relaxing.

"I heard about your friend."

You slowly nod, sinking into the mattress. "It hurts, Yeo."

"I know." His head tilts. "It must hurt plenty."

"Unbelievably so," you whisper, looking away from him. "I think… I should be used to hurting. It's happened for a while now. But everytime I think about it I just, I can't. I never got to say goodbye."

"You love her."

You force out a laugh, "Yeah, despite all of the shit I read. I can't help but still love her. I have so many questions I can't ask and it feels like… I don't know."

"A hole. One you can't ever fill because she's gone," he rests his hands above where his heart should be, blinking slowly. "And you relive the moment you last saw her over and over again in your head, trying to make sense of it all but you can't because grief is just too hard."

The familiar tightness in your chest twists inside of you as he speaks. He looks at you, understanding. You can't respond, a sob waiting to escape.

"Tell me where it hurts, pretty. You can point to it if you want."

You hover your hand over your chest, lightly resting it against your skin. Yeosang takes a slow step toward you. He's still trembling, one hand tucked into his pocket. He looks at you before he touches you, a silent question in his eyes. You nod, and he places his hand upon yours. It's quite cold in comparison to yours, the beating of your heart filling your ears.

Kang Yeosang slowly crouches in front of you, gaze and head moving to meet your eyes. "I'm here."

It's enough for the sob to leave your mouth, your hand entwining with his as you let go. You've found it so hard to walk through everyday, you dreaded the moments when you were alone. Your grief grew so heavy inside of you it felt as if you were becoming numb. But he says two words to you with such ease, and you fall apart.

It utterly terrifies you.

Hours must have passed, the exhaustion of your sadness guiding you back beneath your sheets. Yeosang does not dare touch you, but he stays just a couple of feet away, Head resting on his forearm as he watches you from your bed. Neither of you have said a word for quite a while now. You wonder if he is waiting for you to speak up, or will he do it on his own. There's several questions you'd like to ask, but now being with him, you no longer have the will to.

He adjusts himself in the cushion seat, pushing strands away from his forehead. "I could remember the first night that I lost Rose. I was inconsolable. All of them were too stricken with their own grief to help me with mine which I cannot blame. I starved myself over and over again to the brink of becoming solidified, but one of them fed me blood, enough to keep me alive. After about a decade or so… I expressed my grief in a way I hate to speak about. One that you witnessed not too long ago," His eyes shift to yours. "There is no right way to process it, but there are wrong ways. I have taken the wrong path more times than I can count. Sorry wouldn't work in a situation like this."

You can't speak up, the blood covered hall flashing in your memory. You've suppressed enough so that you're able to sleep, at least. "Do you often express extreme emotions this way?" You ask.

He covers his face with his hands. "I haven't in decades. This is… an outlier. I shouldn't have done it, but seeing you there in the midst of it all, it made me realize how far I've lost myself. I let my mind sink into the primal urges. I let myself get that bad, y/n. Forgiveness is not what I can ask of you, and neither could I tell their families I was the one who broke them." He swallows slowly. "I can remember their faces, the glimpses of fear. And it hurts to say that I cannot give much remorse because I know of what they've done. I know the lives that were lost because of their greed. Their faces are burned into my mind. Each and every life I took."

A pause.

"I am the monster I've always thought I was."

Comfort is not what you can offer in this situation, nor forgiveness. Trusting the judicial system is not something you believe in either, but neither is mass murder. You can only nod, shifting your eyes away from him. "You made a decision that you thought was right at the time. I cannot fault you for it." What the hell are you saying? He murdered people. You should be running out that door, not chatting it up. But all your mind could think of is helping him. Letting him know you're not giving up on him.

Perhaps he isn't the only monster in the room.

"I wish I could hate you," you confess. "I really wish I could sit here and say that I hate you and I want to never see you again. And I hate it even more that I can't. I can't hate you, Yeosang," you whisper. "You've lived a life you never wanted, you've done things because of it. It's inexcusable, but it's not surprising given the circumstances."

"y/n…" He starts, but you interrupt.

"All I can think about is that you're safe, Yeo. You're back, and you're safe. And I get to see you again. I don't know what to do about what you've done, but I'm just happy that you're here with me. That you didn't leave me."

"We're both a little fucked in the head, aren't we?"

You snort at the harsh words. “A little is an understatement.”

He leans back, staring at you. It’s not an uncomfortable silence, until he notices you look away, rubbing your arms. He closes his eyes, humming. “Mingi came to me. Told me to come back.”

“Where were you?”

His lip lifts, “At Rose’s grave. We don’t often visit it because of the harsh memories, but I like to. Gives me a chance to clear my head, think things through.”

“You can speak to the dead?”

He laughs, “No. I can speak to a stone though. She’s likely scolding us for how we’re acting.”

“Would she?”

He nods immediately. “No hesitation. She hated when we did stupid things, moreso things like this. I wouldn’t believe alive if she were here. She would…” he paused for a moment. “She would hate what we’ve done to you.”

Your smile fades the same time as his, the room shifting into a silence. It’s not as comfortable as before, his words forcing you to confront what’s happening right in front of you.

“She trusts him.”

“It was broken when she saw him hurt those people.”

“Was it really broken? Do you truly believe that she would ask for him to see her if it were true?”

“Then what do you want me to do, San? Stop them from seeing each other? I’ve done that endlessly, since the beginning. And it’s like it no longer matters because she will find a way to see him again. It’s just as it was before. Trying to separate them will only lead to her end. And I’m not sure if I can handle losing her again,” Wooyoung shakes his head slowly. “I’m not sure any of us could handle it again.”

“What do you propose?” San swallows slowly. Wooyoung doesn’t notice how San’s voice weakens a bit, glancing flicking up before looking back at him. “Joong isn’t going to be happy. He wants there to be difficulty in reconciling between them. But they’re inside chatting it up as if nothing happened.”

Wooyoung glances up from his spot on the bench, the curtains to your room closed. It’s been a while since Yeosang came back, the two of you inside the room for several hours now. Despite having the ability to listen he didn’t this time, knowing that it would hurt you even more. Getting on your good side is hard, but he’s willing to do whatever it takes. And if that means being unable to interfere with Yeosang, then so be it.

“I’m not going to do it.”

“Wooyoung…”

“San, I’m not doing this anymore. I can’t. She already hates me for doing it before.”

“Then this won’t change anything.”

Wooyoung slowly shakes his head, “San…”

“Do you expect her to just forgive you? She’s not going to forgive the man who destroyed her love’s life. You turned Yeosang, remember? You were the one who made him this way because of your jealousy. She saw it in her head. She won’t forget it.”

Wooyoung presses his hands over his ears, nails digging into his scalp. “San, please—”

“She won’t ever love you.”

“Stop!” Wooyoung stands, pushing past his friend and entering the house. He disappears within an instant, leaving him alone to stand outside. San’s express drops, fingers dragging through the loose strands that frame his face. His eyes flick up to Hongjoong’s balcony. Said man stands there, tending to a cigarette. His grin is wide as he looks at San, a light laugh escaping him.

San could only give him a pathetic smile back and enters the house a few seconds after Wooyoung.

The conversation with Yeosang ended there with him mumbling an excuse to leave. You confronted him just as he was about to go, your eyes asking if this were the last time you’d see him. He pressed his lips to your knuckles just then, a soft I won’t leave you anymore falling from his lips before he disappeared down the hall. And he kept his promise since then.

You left your room often now, the others roaming around the hallways. Vastly different from before, greetings exchanged, laughs echoed. It was as comfortable as it could be. You even laughed at something Jongho said to Mingi while they were arguing, and his eyes lit up at the sound. Sure, it was brief and you immediately shifted your gaze, but it was something to him. And if that was the beginning of you forgiving him, he was going to accept it.

Surprisingly, to everyone else and yourself, you slowly began speaking to Hongjoong. At first it was very brief, good mornings and goodnights in the beginning. But now, you let him sit beside you while a movie played in the living room. You even let him serve you dinner. Astonishing, the others knowing that his cooking skills were sub-par in comparison to so many of the other men. Hongjoong took it well, each step in your relationship seemed to build it closer to a good one.

You, of course, did not feel the same.

Each building block is a seed planted in his head. To bring you closer to him, so that he trusts you. Trust you enough to where you can get close.

Close enough to kill him.

The plan isn’t foolproof, you’re sure there’s a part of him that suspects it’s a ruse. There’s no forgetting the dozens of times you’ve told him that you would never be anything to him, that you’ll hate him as long as you live. But maybe if you go slow, if you let a few months pass, you’ll convince even him. It’s a long shot, no telling, but you have to try.

It’s been a couple of months now living with them. You thought you’d hate every moment being there, but unfortunately, that’s not the case. Your laughter and humor is real, the smiles you exchange with everyone are genuine. More often than not you remind yourself why you’re still there, what you’re doing. But most days you forget, enjoying your time spent with them. How easily have you fallen underneath their web.

“Another?” Mingi whines, scrolling through his calendar. “I thought we limited shows to Fridays only?”

“Unlike you,” Yunho wiggles his finger. “Some of us like to feed more than once a week.”

“Then I can stay?” his eyes brighten, only to be shut down by Hongjoong entering the room.

“No, you can’t. Jongho needs someone to guard with him and make sure things are okay while we’re feeding. And you stayed home with my sea last week.”

Mingi throws his head back in utter agony, pout deepening. You watch them, eating your apple. Wooyoung gave up on buying peaches and you’re more than thankful for his change of heart. Hongjoong leans against the wall, glancing at you. There’s something there, something you can’t quite decipher.

“But no one has fed in a while. Any of us,” San points out, glancing around the room. “We should all go.”

“You all can go,” Hongjoong says, shrugging. “I’ll stay with y/n. We have some things to discuss.”

The others look at you, questions in their eyes. You’ve immediately learned their different expressions. These are of worry, and confusion. You don’t trust Hongjoong, you never will… But you know he wouldn’t kill you. At least, not right now. You hope.

“Fine with me,” you continue to eat your snack. “I’ll see you all later, then?”

Mingi’s dragged out of the seat by Yunho, the others slowly disappearing to their designated rooms, getting dressed for the concert. Hongjoong lingers in the kitchen with you, humming. He opens the fridge, tsking at the lack of food inside. “I told Seonghwa to go shopping.”

“No big deal,” you murmur. “I’ll be going out soon enough with him. It was supposed to be today, but I guess it’ll happen tomorrow.” The others pass by again, waving goodbye as they leave. Eventually the two of you are alone, Hongjoong exiting the kitchen.

“Didn’t you want to speak to me about something?” you ask just as he’s about to disappear down the hallway. He glances back, shaking his head.

“I just wanted to be alone with you. A bit greedy, that’s all,” he flicks his brows up, waving goodbye. “Have a good night, my sea.” With that, he exits, leaving you alone in the kitchen. It's an open invitation to follow.

One that you take.

You close the door behind you to his room. You haven't entered it at all. It's similar in size to everyone else's, his bed slighter larger in comparison, a balcony just a few steps away from it. He moves quickly, pressing you against the door frame. Your breath hitches, his lips trailing along the back of your neck.

“Do you even like me?”

Hongjoong’s hand slides up your arm, leaving a trail of goosebumps in their wake. He turns you around. He rests just below your cheek, tilting your head towards him so as to guide your gaze to his. Despite how warm his eyes look, you can see the tightness in his jaw, the resolute tilt of his lips. He blinks slowly, humming as his thumb trails along your face. “Shall I slay every person who has ever looked at you with disdain to prove it?”

You laugh, though knowing the truth behind his words. There’s no doubt in your mind that he would in fact listen if you asked him to do so. But you play it off as if he’s facetious, shaking your head. “I asked if you liked me, not for you to murder in my name.”

“I would give you anything, my sea. Of course I like you.”

You wonder if he believes his own words.

“I’m just waiting for you to say you like me.”

“Unlikely,” you snort, placing your hand on his. You hear his breath hitch, eyes flicking to your touch. You never noticed how easily it was to make him off balance, lose his nonchalance. There has been endless doubt on how much you afflicted Hongjoong, but there is little now. You would just have to persuade him that you do care, even if it is a mere fraction of his. With that in mind you move yourself off the door and walk to the mattress, ignoring the beating of your heart, nerves coating your palms as you wipe them against your thighs. You sit on the edge, his speed quickly. In a moment, he's sitting on the edge with you.

Hongjoong watches you in curious silence. Just as he’s about to leave forward, you lift your leg, straddling him. He looks up at you in mild surprise, lips parting and shutting. Leaving Kim Hongjoong astounded? Perhaps you are good at this manipulation game.

You lean forward, palms resting on either side of his face. Just a breath apart. You stare at his face, taking in each part of him. The scar of his brow, the light moles adorning his skin. The soft curve of his lips. He is beautiful, no doubt.

“I do like you, Kim Hongjoong. Despite how out of your mind you are.”

His hands go to rest on your thighs, lids heavy as he stares at you. His smile rises, gaze now on your lips. “I’ve lived with you for many lives. Each one different from the next. I’ve known your soul longer than you've known yourself. It's fairly easy to know when you’re being deceitful.”

You ignore how your body shivers as his hands travel to your hips, squeezing slightly. It’s a game he’s played for thousands of years, while you’ve only known him for less than a percentage of that. But one thing you do know: you are his weakness.

“How can I prove it?” You ask, leaning closer. Your nose brushes against Hongjoong, a shuddered breath escaping his lips. His grip tightens on your hips, pressing you harshly against him. He presses against your lower stomach, hard against your softer skin.

“You tell me.”

"Have you ever…?" You trail off.

He rolls his eyes. "I've fucked before, love. Just never with you. Something always seemed to get in the way. You dying, mostly. But I have never made love." His lip brushes against your forehead.

"I don't love you," You murmur, and he only laughs.

"Even you aren't a good enough liar to convince me otherwise. But all I ask is one thing from you." He watches your gaze, hand dragging along your body, before touching your face. “I want you to be mine,” his fingers release your chin, slowly wandering along the outline of your jaw.

“All yours?” you breathe.

“Mine,” he agrees with a whisper so low that you feel it all the way down to your pelvis. His hand suddenly slips downward to firmly grasp the back of your neck, pressure light. “Let me be yours.” The feelings that stir in you now as his head tilts to the side and he wets his bottom lip are separate from anything that may be fearful — and that’s the thought that terrifies you. There’s no use in saying that you’re not attracted to him; you always have been. The realization that you're beneath him now, after so long of resisting and fighting the temptation — you can’t deny the frantic pounding of your heart. And you wouldn't be able to fib in the slightest, Hongjoong can feel it as it goes anyway.

“You’ve tortured me for so long,” he leans closer to you, free hand resting on the side of your body, trapping you beneath him. “I have to admit that I’m shocked to see you beneath me this way. Is this unwanted?” he asks softly, eyes flicking between yours. “Despite my desires, I wouldn’t want this to be forced.”

You have an agenda. And a small part of you feels as if he might know what it is. But the way he’s looking at you now, a glimmer of hope shines beneath it.

“No,” you reply. With that, he takes your mouth with his own. His soft lips press ardently against yours, desire spilling each time he slightly pulls away. Your hands slide into his hair, body relaxing into the mattress. You part your lips, his tongue seeking out yours whilst he grabs a hold of your thigh to drag both your legs closer to him He lies himself on top of you, and all the while his darkened eyes never once leave yours, his jaw tensed but breathing heavy.

As Hongjoong delves back in, his tongue rolls inside your mouth and he lets out a low-pitched groan, your body arching up into his palm that begins to fondle your breast through your shirt. He sucks your bottom lip between his teeth, tugging harshly as his hand grips the top of your shirt. Fabric rips and exposes your bra, he scoops your breast from the cup, a relieved sigh escaping him.

“You're so soft.”

“Joong,” you whimper, front teeth sinking deep into your lip, fingers grabbing at the soft white cotton that covers his shoulders.

Hongjoong's face lightens up at the sound of his name escaping your lips, dipping to his head to encircle the entirety of your nipple with his mouth. He sucks, gently circling his tongue around and smiling when you moan.

His warm hand reaches for the opposite side of your chest and cups you, switching his mouth to the other, biting and tugging. Just as you're about to say his name again he presses himself into you, his hardness pushing harshly into your pelvis. He doesn’t stop sucking until you're twisting on the bed.

“In awe," you hear him say. You meet his eyes, “You haven't the slightest inkling how long I've waited for you, my sea. I wish I could spend all night with you. Unfortunate that you have to be somewhere in the morning.”

Your brows furrowed in confusion. "Where—"

He interrupts, slowly lifting your shirt up and over your head, hand only giving a slight tug to your pants, the tear echoing through the air as he tosses them to the side. You could only pout, your pile of fabric, one of your favorite sleepwears.

"I'll give you the world, y/n. No need to worry about a couple of pieces of clothing." Unlike the others you have been with, his touch is softer, slowly rubbing the plushness of your thighs, lips trailing delicate, wet kisses against the skin.

“Please,” you moan softly, peering down. Hongjoong looks up with a devilish curl to his lips, his smile to die for.

“Yes?” he replies, mock innocence coating his gaze.

“Please touch me, Joong.”

After having fought against Hongjoong’s yearning for you for close to a year, it feels more than off to let these words escape your lips. Your body is practically on display beneath him, his lids heavy with lust as they take you in. He seems to enjoy the moment differently than you, for many reasons you'd rather not dwell on for long. Hee slides it down to the middle of your legs, hot breath tickling your skin. You can feel how your underwear clings to you because of your arousal, almost forgotten from how his eyes seem to want to take you apart.

“All for me?” he groans as his fingertips slip into you, pressing kisses to the angle of your jaw. “So wet.” Hongjoong traces the outline of you, brushing teasingly over your clit. “I must admit, it feels good knowing this is all for me.”

You say nothing, only meeting his eyes with want in your gaze. He licks his lips, head tilting slightly as he stares at you.

“I know, my sea. I always knew.”

He knows nothing.

He hooks his finger on the fabric lining your hips, a quick tug ripping it with ease. You throb at the act. His body pressed to yours and his fingers hovering so close to you —

How easy it is to succumb to him.

"I've been waiting centuries, lovely," Hongjoong whispers against your skin. "It's made me a bit needy, you know. But I need to know if you want me as I want you. y/n," his hand raises to your face, tilting it so that you meet his gaze. "Do you want me?"

Making the decision to go through with this, to let him take you now — some part of you knows it isn't the wisest decision. It will only make your choice of killing him more difficult down the line. But if this is what it takes to have Hongjoong believe your every word, you'll do it. An even smaller part of you knows that despite everything, you want this. You want him. It feels as if hours have passed of your silence, Hongjoong neither getting closer to the center of you or moving his hand from your face. He waits patiently, just as he has waited for a time incomprehensible to you.

"I want you, Kim Hongjoong."

You see the shift in his gaze in an instant. His brown irises slowly fade, eyes glistening over to a pure white. The sight doesn't scare you as much as it entices you. If you weren't in the heat of the moment you'd scold yourself at how ridiculous you're being.

His fingers slowly rub circles into your clit, pressure increases each time he makes each round. Your hips grind into the movements, a silent plea for him to pick up the pace. He doesn't of course, the devilish grin of his widening as he studies you. You've noticed that he's rarely ever left your gaze, as if memorizing this moment, solidifying this as your choice. And it is, in the end. He's asked several times if you want him. If it's a manipulation technique you aren't the wiser.

You feel his middle finger slip next to the first, lightly squeezing your clit, picking up speed and you let out a low moan, head tipping back, finally breaking the stare.

"All for me," he whispers. "Don't hide your moans from me, my sea. I know it feels good, yeah. Want more?" One of his fingers slips down, dragging around the outline of your entrance. He dips it in barely a centimeter, a stifled laugh escaping him when he sees you clench. "Do you?"

“Please.”

He clicks his tongue, running his fingers back up to your clit, pressing down, hard. You cover your mouth with your hand, unable to control the sounds he pulls from you.

"Ah ah," He moves it away, pressing his lips to your fingers briefly. "If I could listen to the others take you, they can listen to us. They all hear us, you know. Amplified hearing comes with the territory."

Despite how your heart races, you clench at the thought of the others listening, Hongjoong's gaze flicking between your legs.

"Oh, you enjoy that, huh? Enjoy us listening to you have sex with someone else, thinking about us coming to your moans with someone else's cock inside of you?" He presses his lips against your stomach. "Wooyoung and Mingi like it the most. They're probably touching themselves right now listening to us." You clench again. "How filthy of my pretty sea."

"Joong—"

He slips two fingers inside of you. "Tsk, so impatient."

Hongjoong is halfway down the sofa, face placed between your legs. Palms flat against the inside of your thighs to spread you wide, his nose dug deep into, a cry escaping from your throat when his mouth covers your clit. You feel his tongue circle it slowly, your fists tightening. The pleasure is all-encompassing — he sucks noisily at the sensitive nub, your fists unclenching and finding themselves in his hair, pushing him closer into you.

He licks at you hungrily, your gaze flicking to his free hand slipping inside his own pants. “Fuck…” he whispers against you, diving back in as soon as the word leaves his mouth. He groans, the flat of his tongue pressed to your entrance as his face slowly rocks from side to side.

“Please,” the feeling of him takes over, your hips rising to meet each swipe of his tongue. The impending release is near, enough so that you’re not able to warn him. Your body trembles, your fingers gripping his hair so tightly you’re sure you’ve pulled out a few strands, his tongue continuing to lap at your core. It starts to linger into the range of oversensitivity, your hands pulling away from his hair and instead, hips moving away from his tongue. He chases you, pushing himself deeper into you.

“I can’t—” you say, but the words seem to go into one ear and out the other. He continues to lick, lips wrapped around your clit. He refuses to let go even as you lean up, his hands gripping your thighs, unmoving. “Hongjoong—” your eyes finally meet his.

They’re completely white as they stare at you. You can see the lift of his cheeks, smiling into you as he sucks. His hands move from your thighs to your hips, pulling you closer into his mouth. He lifts it for just a moment, enough to say one word. “No.”

The break is brief. Hongjoong covers your clit with his plush lips once more, sucking hard. He continues like this for over a minute, watching as tears stain your cheeks. The oversensitivity slowly molds into pleasure, your hips humping against his mouth. Your chest rises and falls, your peak coming much quicker this time. He pushes three fingers into you in an instant, a scream escaping you. He chuckles into you, his mouth finally away from your clit.

“Come for me, my sea. I want to see you come again for me,” he whispers. He doesn’t touch your clit, fingers pumping in and out of you with abandon, the sounds echoing around the room. “Come on, I know you can do it.”

You feel the pads of his fingers touch the spot inside of you, your breath hitching. He keeps them there, rubbing quickly against the rough patch. In an instant your thighs clasp his hand within you, humping violently as you lose yourself. He leans against your stomach, resting his head against your plush skin, watching you.

“Never thought you would be prettier, but look at you. Coming all over me, fucking my fingers.”

You can’t respond to his words, eyes closed as you try to come down from your high. He pulls his fingers out, the sound of him sucking them alluring, but not enough to open your eyes. He pulls you closer to him, finger dragging back to your clit. You pull back in an instant, eyes flicking open. He laughs, grin stretching across his cheeks.

“Already done?”

“Too much…” you swallow. He moves away from your clit at your words, placing his hand just above your chest where your heart lies. He moves up from your legs, head falling on the mattress, eyesight steady with yours. Despite how blown out his eyes are, despite how you can clearly see how aroused he is by the hardness pressed against your upper thigh, he hums, expression softening.

“Okay?” he whispers. For some reason the way he’s looking at you, the love in his eyes… it bothers you. Not because it’s ingenuine, you can see how real the look is. It terrifies you that the look calms you down, settles your heart. That you yearn for him to look at you again just as softly, as kind.

The voice deep in the back of your mind telling you that this wasn’t the smartest idea.

But of course, you ignore it. Out of selfishness or greed, you're not too sure. Hongjoong’s fingers stroke your cheek, humming when you lean into his touch. “You’re pretty,” he murmurs, thumb wiping the tear that falls down. “Even when you cry.”

He leans forward, lips covering yours. The touch is softer, you can feel the emotion he draws into it, tongue lightly flicking yours, the taste of you filling your mouth. Suddenly it’s sweeter, almost strawberry like as you continue to kiss. You don’t notice how you suddenly take the lead, sucking his lips, entering his mouth. He giggles at your movements, hands moving to pull your hips closer against his.

“Taste good?” he pulls away, laughing.

Your cheeks warm when you’ve realized what you’ve done, pulling away. A string of saliva parting your lips. He pecks you quickly, head back against the sheets. “Hm?”

Realizing he asked you a question, you furrow your brows. “How’d you do that?”

His eyes roll, “I’m a vampire, I can do anything I’d like.”

“You’re so fucking annoying.” You frown, and his laugh is even louder.

“And yet here you are,” he moves from his spot to hover over you. He’s pulled off his pants and briefs before you’ve realized it, the length of him resting against your stomach. He grinds it lightly into you, lip between his teeth. “Here you are under me, wanting me.” Holding himself up with one hand, he uses the other to squeeze himself, the sight making your mouth water.

“Thought you were done?” his brows raise, amusement coating his expression. “Unless you want more?” He moves away from you, sliding off the bed. He holds his cock in his hand, languidly stroking it as he stares at you. “Want to taste me?”

Your eyes flick up from his movements to look at his face. His brow raised, he waits for a response. Seemingly unable to respond, he moves closer, body leaning over so he’s directly in your line of sight. “I said, do you want to taste me, my sea?”

You nod, and he moves even closer, hand cupping your chin. You open your mouth now, “I do.”

He nods, letting go. “Go ahead.”

He moves slowly, steps closer and closer to you. Though he seems to be calm, you can see the way eagerness lines his features. He pulls off his shirt, tossing it to the side. You notice a few scars and tattoos on his body, a belly button piercing shining at you in the lower light. His fingers wrap around the base. He’s longer than you thought, but not as thick as you’ve once experienced. Still, your mouth can’t help but water.

“Open, pretty,” he murmurs. You open your mouth slightly, jaw lax. He rests his head against your lips, bending his cock toward you. He lets it sit there for a moment, his breaths heavy, precum coating your lips. His eyes stare at your mouth as he finally enters your mouth inch by inch, moaning when he finally enters. He continues, stopping when you gag. He twitches against your tongue, your eyes watering as you look up at him. His eyes seem to be glossed over, holding your head as he moves out. He moves slowly, in and out, hips rocking back and forth between your lips. You suck and lick, guarding your teeth to make sure you don’t hurt him, the weight of him against your tongue and angling your throat so that he can enter even more.

He groans, speed increasing. “You take me so well, look so good with my cock in your mouth.” Hongjoong pushes your head against him, your nose pressed to his pubic bone. He moves back a bit as you choke, whispering okays and telling you you’re taking him so well. Your hands wrap around his thighs as he fucks your mouth, your throat burning. You feel yourself clenching around nothing. He moves quicker, grinding into your mouth. Your hand reaches down to touch yourself.

He pulls out immediately, grabbing your wrist gently. He clicks his tongue, shaking his head. “Only I get to touch you my sea.” He lets go, lightly nudging you back against the sheets. “Ready for me.”

“Fuck, yes,” you utter, and he only laughs.

“Scream loud for me, so the others know you’re being cared for well,” he grins. Hongjoong’s hips move forward into you without hesitation. Just as a moan tries to escape, he wraps his hand around your throat. His eyes stay on yours, looking to see if you’re uncomfortable. But all he sees is your eyes rolling back, his excitement increasing. He presses his lips against your cheek, moving to the side of your face, just next to your ear.

“Feel good, pretty? You like me inside of you, like me making love to you,” he bites your earlobe, pulling away. “You feel so good, so relaxed for me. Perfect.” Hongjoong eases himself out to slowly to sink back in, moving at a slower pace, the witch of his cock as it glides between your walls. “I’ve waited so long for this, Ca… y/n.”

His hips stutter as he gradually builds speed, grunting each time your hips collide. You reach for anything, deciding on wrapping your arms around his neck, pulling him closer. He doesn’t resist, his chest pressed against yours, lips meeting one another’s. You’re too consumed with pleasure to notice the slip of tongue. He drives his cock into you, angling his hips directly at your g-spot. He releases your throat, one of his hands reaches for the headboard, driving into you harder, ”You take it so well.”

“Please,” your fingers dig into the back of his neck, piercing his skin. His eyes shift, darkening. The frame of the bed begins to bang loudly against the wall as his speed and force increases. He lets go of the board, gripping your hips and pulling them into each thrust of his. He fucks you harder, hip bones digging into your thighs. He swipes your hand away when you try to rub your clit. Shaking his head.

“You can come without touching yourself.”

“I can’t,” you cry out, trying to reach again. He tsks, pushing it away.

“Come from my cock only, y/n. I know you can do it.”

Your head tips back, the burning of your clit, begging to be touched. You focused on how he feels, how his cock drags against your walls. Just as you think you’re unable to do it, Hongjoong leans forward, teeth grazing your neck.

“Maybe I can help you out, want me to help you out, pretty? Want me to taste you?” His tongue drags against your pulsing vein. You nod without knowing what exactly he means, until his teeth sink into your flesh. You gasp from pain and pleasure,

The head of his cock pushes harshly into you as you cry out, his name spilling from your lips over and over as your orgasm takes over you, you clawing at his biceps in an attempt to hold yourself together. Hongjoong licks your wound, pulling away from you, breaths ragged.

Before you can come down from your high, in a matter of seconds the head of Hongjoong’s cock is inside you once more and you’re being fucked into the mattress, the movement of his hips frantic enough that you know you’ll be sore for several days.

“Fuck,” Hongjoong groans, snapping against you and making you bounce. “Want my come, pretty? Want me to come inside of you?” Hongjoong moans at the feeling of you clenching around him.

“Please, Hongjoong, please,” you gasp.

You hear him groan in response to your words as he presses his chest into yours, and all the while he continues to push inside of you you can feel his cock beginning to throb. His movements begin to falter, his breath heavy against your neck and you screw your eyes shut even tighter as you rock your hips upwards from underneath him to push him to new depths, urging him on. “Joong, please come. ”

“My sea,” he pants as his thrusts become shallow and hurried, his fingertips digging into the mattress to anchor himself, “Fuck.”

Finally, Hongjoong comes,, his hips pressing into you and then staying right there, buried deep within you. His fingers relax slightly from around your throat to allow you to drag in a deep, ragged breath, but Hongjoong keeps his hold. Chest still heaving against yours, you feel his lips come into contact with your cheek to press a soft kiss there, nuzzling your cheekbone for just a second before uttering into your ear.

“Look at me, my sweet sea.”

Your eyes open. His smirk is wide now, eyes crazed. You remember this exact look, one from the visions that you've seen. The one where Rose died beneath Jongho’s hands. Anxiety begins to rattles your body, the cloud of lust seeping away as it only seems to grow more sinister. He leans close to your ear, his soft lips brushing against the skin. It is only six words, but it brings the fear up too high for you to ignore.

"I know."

The stifling hot room suddenly grows colder.

"I know you lied."

His hand slowly wraps around your neck, fingers pressing into the flesh. It’s not enough to cause you to stop breathing, but enough so that you start to panic as he stares down at you. He does a test squeeze once, a breathy laugh escaping his lips.

“Hongjoong—”

“Why would you try to trick me, my sea?” His brows furrow, hurt etched into his features. “Lead me on to think that somewhere deep inside of you, you cared for me? Why plant a fallacy in my mind? Why make me suffer?” He shakes his head. You feel his thumb press into the base of your neck, nail slowly digging. He hasn’t pierced your skin yet, but it’s close. “Speak.”

“To convince you—”

“To convince me that you care?” He finishes, and you nod. “I know you don’t care for me, y/n. I’ve known with each thrust, each moan of my name. I know what you look like when you make love, y/n. And I know what you’ve just done was anything but that,” he leans closer, his tongue dragging along your collarbone. “I know because I saw the others with you. They aren’t the only ones who enjoy the show,” he grins.

“You weren’t there—”

He agrees, humming, “I wasn’t. The good thing about turning, though. Their thoughts are no longer their own, their eyes are mine. I saw everytime someone entered you,” he lets his free hand cup your center, “I felt what they felt.” He slips a finger inside of you, “I saw your eyes roll back for them—” he moves it slowly, squeezing your throat tighter “—I saw you each time you lost yourself in them. Yunho,” he slips in another finger. “Mingi, oh that one was interesting—” his pace increases. “Wooyoung… poor him, he couldn’t even watch.”

He adds two more fingers within an instant, “And how could I forget the last one? Your Yeosang, your pretty, pitiful Yeosang. He’s always wanted you so badly, always wants to save you…” Hongjoong thumb rubs your clit, pace quickening. “He can’t even save himself…”

The door to the room opens, Hongjoong not bothering to turn around to see who it is.

“I didn’t ask you to come in,” Hongjoong hums, pulling his fingers out of you. He grabs the blanket on the side, covering your body with it, hand letting go of your neck. Your chest rises and falls, moving your gaze around him to see who's entered.

San and Yeosang stand there. It's too dark to see what they're wearing, but you're pretty sure it's the outfits from the concert tonight. Has time passed that quickly? You can still feel his fingers around your neck, anger between his words. If they didn't come in… if you weren't so involved… you're not too sure you would have lived.

Yeosang moves closer first, "You're going too far, hyung."

He leans up from the bed, not bothering to cover himself up. San lingers just behind Yeosang, eyes glued to your neck.

"Sad you couldn't join? I never interrupted the two of you, you should give me the same consideration."

"You were killing her, you were going to kill her." Yeosang looks at you, brows furrowed. "I wouldn't let you do that."

He stands, rolling his eyes. He grabs his briefs from the side, slowly pulling it up and over himself. "I was having fun, not killing her. The two of you need to relax a bit. Why would I dare hurt my sea?"

"The blood in her mouth? We can see it on her lips, Hongjoong. We aren't that ignorant."

You wipe your lips, staring at the blood coating your fingers when you pull away. You don't even remember when exactly he did it, or how. Was he going to kill you? Were you so filled with arousal you didn't even think about what was happening? Was that the sweet taste in your mouth? His blood? Your stomach turns at the thought. Hongjoong looks back at you. His white pupils are gone. replaced with the familiar brown. He raises his brow, tongue dragging across his lips. It's there where you see the cut in it.

"Tastes just like strawberries, doesn't it?"

The thought of his blood in your mouth makes you gag, rises from the sheets. You hold the blanket against you, reaching for the water bottle on the side table. Hongjoong grabs it before you do, taking a long drink, emptying it.

"Fuck you!" You yell, anger rising.

"y/n…" San moves closer to you. "Let's get you cleaned up, okay?"

You grab your shirt and slip it over your body, hands trembling against the fabric. San helps you, picking up your sweats from the floor and passing it to you. Yeosang moves closer to Hongjoong, fists tightened.

"You were going to kill her, just like that."

"Don't start to give me a fucking martyr speech, Yeosang. You don't even care about her."

"You—"

Hongjoong reaches out, gripping Yeosang's neck. He slams him against the wall behind him, a scream leaving your mouth. San stands in front of you, hiding your body with his. He looks at Hongjoong with concern, "Hey, isn't this too much—"

"The two of you are a pair, aren't you?" Hongjoong frowns, "So hopelessly involved with y/n. At least she likes Yeosang. She barely even knows San. And here he is, fucking protecting her as if she loves him. As if she cares if he died."

The others soon appear at the door, crowding into the room. The wall behind Yeosang cracks as Hongjoong presses him deeper into it.

"Please stop," you beg, trying to get closer. San holds you back, preventing you from interfering. "He's just trying to protect me."

"If you didn't have Rose's soul he would not give a shit about you, my sea," Hongjoong looks at you, head tilted. "Your soul already saw him die once, it shouldn't matter if you see it happen again."

Yeosang looks down at him, fingers digging into Hongjoong’s hand. Eyes red, denying his words with the curl of his lips. "You'll never understand love, Joong. That's your problem."

"Enlighten me then, my friend."

Yeosang's eyes move to you, softening with such ease it breaks your heart. "Everyone knows I loved Rose, loved her more than she loved me, surely," his eyes flick back to his captain's. "And I loved her Hongjoong. I loved her with everything that I had, and I could barely function when she was gone." His voice breaks, eyes flicking between his. "But that doesn't mean I wouldn't be able to love again. She was my first love, but y/n…" His eyes move to yours, softening. The look only makes your heart crumble even more. "She is my greatest."

Your hold on San's arm loosens at his words. You love him. You've loved him, with every part of you. You love him to the brink of fear, afraid of the unknown.

"How sweet…"

He lets Yeosang go, wiping his hands on his underwear. He glances at the others around the room, frowning. "I wasn't going to kill either of them."

"Let's go, y/n," San whispers, slipping his hand into yours. Yeosang catches his breath on the floor. He lifts his head to meet yours. As if telling you everything is alright. That he's okay. San tugs again, and you follow him out the room, parting the small crowd that formed in the doorway.

"Do you know if she truly loved you?" It's an appalling question, one that would throw them for a loop. It seems to leave Seonghwa speechless, mouth parting to speak, closing again. "Did she love you?"

It's been over a day since the incident, Hongjoong moving around as if nothing happened. Yeosang does as well, not mentioning it at all. It was enough of a headache for you to ask Seonghwa for a break. The house feels more stuffy than usual. You sit in the park not too far from their business, swinging your legs back and forth. It was silent while you walked here, but you couldn't help but ask. They love her so dearly, so much. You doubt she felt half of what they did.

"She said she did, she told us she did. Why are you asking?"

"Because if this is the way you express that you love someone, I'm not so sure that she did. If she taught you how to love, this isn't love, Seonghwa."

"I feel like if it was anyone but you telling me this, I'd be furious," he admits, a breathy laugh escaping his lips. "If I may be forward, why do you think so?"

"I don't know," you purse your lips. "I don't know how it was for you back then, how the world was. Maybe my thoughts are more modern in comparison, but I don't think love wants to force you into this mold. If we're humans and you told me you wanted to become this, I think I would be upset for a bit, but I wouldn't tell you to stay a human because I want you to. Though back then, monsters were more of a real thought rather than folklore. I don't think it means that I wouldn't care, it just means that despite it all, I believe you'll still be the person I care for."

You glance at him, leaving out the obvious afterthought. This form changed them. You're sure that Rose died because of their choices. Because they changed. And not in a good way. Their "love" twisted into something unrecognizable, cruel, obsessive, greedy. Dangerous. Subin’s descriptions were mild in comparison to how they actually are. How could Wooyoung just kill Yeosang with ease? Hongjoong almost injuring Yeosang, attempting to turn you?

"I'm very careful when I tell someone I love them. Because for me it is an admittance that my care for you has no bounds, that with everything we will go through I will fight my hardest to make it work. I will stick by you. And I don't feel that way for most of you."

It's a lie, it's a filthy, dirty lie, but you let yourself say it anyway.

He nods slowly. His fingers slowly fold, legs crossed. "It is all a pity, then. I tried my hardest for you, doe. But it seems to be a moot end. I promised them that you would admit your love for us. Stubbornness has always been your strong suit, no matter how many years have passed by. I wanted to save you."

You look around the park. It's quieter in comparison to before. Swings empty, older couples gone. Not one soul, not even a bird chirping. It's eerie in itself. You turn to him, and he looks at you with sorrow.

"One word was all I needed."

You stand up, chest rising and falling quickly. "Hwa—"

"It's calming. Different in comparison to how we turned Rose. I hope you understand that this was a unanimous decision, doe. All of us thought this was the best way to keep you from running away."

He stands and you hold up your hands, shaking your head. "This isn't the way to get what you want, Seonghwa. Repeating the past isn't the way, you know that."

He tilts his head, a light pout decorating his lips. "This is me saving you. Can't you see it?"

You ignore his words, turning around. The closest place is the club just across the street. The one they own. Hiding is the last thing you want to do, but there’s nothing else. Maybe there’s something left over from the fight they had there weeks ago. If you could find your way through the hallways and into the back — maybe there’s a chance you can save yourself. Maybe there’s a way out.

"I'll give you a headstart, doe. At least give you some hope. Go ahead," he nods.

You don't hesitate. Your legs move quick as you run across the empty street. The door to the club is open and you enter, locking it behind you. A part of you wonders why you don't question it, but fear drives you now. You run into a side room, grabbing a knife that Subin left hidden, just before they came to save you last time.

"This will kill them," Subin says to you, dragging his finger along the blade. "It is made from the metal that killed their first love. Hongjoong would be much harder to trick, but I'm sure you can do it."

You stare at it, shaking your head. "Subin, I don't think—"

"Start thinking then, y/n. You won't be free. Not unless you accept their obsession with you, or kill them yourself. Your soul will continue to be stuck in the same perpetual nightmare. You have to stop it. You have to, y/n." His brows soften. "For every iteration of you that has died. Do it for them. Do it for you."

It's the first note that makes you stop what you're doing. You hold the knife in your hands, your grip loosening as you stare out into the hallway.

The familiar tune of the piano. Despite the name of the club you've rarely heard it — the group is a rock band, of course. So hearing the soft melody of Clair de lune echo in the dark is more than what you expect. It's a beautiful song despite this circumstance. You used to love it until this very moment — were they here the entire time? Have they watched your every move once you left Seonghwa in the park?

Were you ever truly alone?

The echo of your shoes add to the music, hushed breaths. There's no use in trying to control them, they know you're here just as you know they are.

"Must we play this game with you?"

You stop moving, gaze glued to the darkness. Your fear overrides your sense of the moment. Who was it that spoke?

"Why run? Is it not beautiful for there to be people who already love you as you are? Why would you try to escape love that is unconditional?"

Still, your mind seems unable to figure out who exactly it is. Is it some sort of talent they have, disguising their voices? Luring you deeper into the darkness? You stop moving.

"Pretty, we already know you're there. No need to try and hide."

Pretty? There's doubt that Yeosang would scare you this way, but it isn't impossible. Not after what you've witnessed at that restaurant.

"What can we do to convince you to stay?"

"Let me go," you whisper. "Finally let me go." Clair de lune rises in volume, your heartbeat throbbing in your ears. "Find someone else to love you. I will never be her."

"You are her, my sweet doe. And you always will be."

Doe? Is it Seonghwa instead? Footsteps catch your attention. They're at the far end of the hallways, slowly ascending, closer and closer to you. Risking waiting for whoever leaves the darkness isn't wise. You know that it'll only lead someone to you back in their home. Back in their arms. You slide the knife back into its place, quickly turning on your heels. You haven't had the chance to explore the club, too engrossed in them to figure out every nook and cranny. You push open a door, locking it behind you quickly. Just as you turn around, your stomach falls.

“What are you?” You say softly.

“It’s easy to guess,” Yunho shrugs.

“Shows at night. Hwa drinking blood, our cold skin. Points to only one thing.”

“We're vampires.”

It's the same room you met them. The velvety couches, the bucket of cell phones on the back table. You were full of life back then, though afraid you stood your ground. And now here you are, back in the same place as before. Will it ever end? Is this a sign that no matter what, you will always follow the same path? Your fingers brush against the knife.

Should you end it here?

"I won't let that happen again, doe," Seonghwa enters the room, hands tucked in his pockets. He moves closer and closer to your frozen figure, hand slipping down your side, pulling the knife away. He stares at it for a moment, worried expression hardening. "Who gave this to you?"

"Subin."

His eyes narrow, grip tightening. The silver bends with ease in his hands, crushed in his palm. He sighs, eyes closing for a moment. "It was the knife that killed Rose, y/n."

“Hwa, what did you do—”

“Do you think I’d allow you to hurt yourself? I said we were going to save you, and you try to do something like this?” He sighs. “We’re trying to protect you the best we can—”

“This is not protecting, Seonghwa. Both you and I know you. I expected things to be different with you. I thought you changed.” Was everything a lie? Every step of the way to get you here, in front of him, about to die?

Are you just that stupid?

“What do you want us to do? Let you die, again? We’ve already done that, y/n. I can’t wait another one hundred years for us to go through the same routine.”

“You’re selfish—”

He laughs, combing his fingers through his hair. “And what if I am, hm? It doesn’t matter; once I turn you, once you become one of us… I can make you forget.”

The same blank look in Yeosang’s eyes.

You back up away from him, gaze resting on yours. It’s not sorrowful in the slightest. It’s settling within you; you expected this eventually. The contemptment, the resignation. He will kill you. You’re not leaving this room without spilling blood. “You never believed I loved you, Seonghwa,” you whisper, back against the wall as he moves to you. “After all this time, you’ve never believed it. But I have.”

“Don’t lie,” he mumbles.

“I did love you, so much. Why do you think I’ve often come to you? I trusted you, Seonghwa. I knew you cared about me, not just my soul. It’s pathetic, really, how much I relied on someone that would go against me in the end. It’s even more pathetic that I’m not angry with you. I’m just sad.”

He shakes his eyes, fists tightening. “You’re allowed to be angry.”

“But I can’t be. I don’t think either Rose or myself was ever really angry with you.”

"You will never lose me."

You can barely make out his words, his fingers digging into yours, light sobs falling from his lips. You hold in yours, letting your forehead rest against his. It feels as if you're mourning him when he is right in front of you. The fleeting wish of knowing him sooner so that you may have spent time with him as he is now crosses your mind. And with horror, the small thought of you living as them so you can know them longer lingers.

"I love you ever so much, Seonghwa," you say. "And I will not make you listen to what I want. If this will make you happy, then I will accept your decision."

Seonghwa presses his palms against his temples, his last sincere moment with you crumbling.

“I would not have asked anyone else to be here with me when I die, Seonghwa. Please let me go.” Rose’s blood spilling onto his clothing, between his fingers. His cries echoing around the ship's chambers.

“y/n, please,” he shakes his head. “I can’t.”

Your finger slips into the hole in the wall, the cold metal of a knife resting there feels against your fingertips. Seonghwa’s back is turned to you, and you quickly pull it out, gripping the handle. Despite the fear that overwhelms you, consumes you, you do it anyway. You press it into your chest.

Exactly where the birthmark of the scar is.

The smell of blood hits him before he sees it. The pain is overbearing, your hand dropping from the handle, body limping forward, almost touching the floor. The sound of the door slamming open, wood splitting at the force. The warm touch of hands catching you just before you fall. His grip is tight, blood sputtering from your lips as you look at him.

"No, no…" His grip on your shirt is tight. You're used to the mirrored emotions, the fakeness dripping from his expression. It's nothing like now. The way he holds you, his face pressed against the fabric of your soaked shirt, sobs escaping his lips. Despite the loss of blood, despite it all, you feel your own heart breaking.

"You have to let me go, Joong," you can’t say it of course, the pain too overwhelming to speak through. "You have to."

“I can’t…” he utters. A cold touch of hands pulls you into his lap, Hongjoong letting you go. You can’t quite tell what’s happening around you, but you hear shouting, furniture breaking. Your vision begins to blur, fingers holding you close to their body. His hand covering your mouth, whispering soft words to you. You don’t feel tears against your skin, but you can feel how he holds you, hands trembling. You just wish that you knew who it was.

The knife is slowly sliding out of your chest, the pain enough to make you lose consciousness within an instant.

“It worked.”

“I told you it would.”

“Fuck off, San.”

“Why are you arguing in front of her? Hey pretty peach, it’ll be alright.”

“Still calling her a peach, after everything?”

“You know what-”

You gasp, leaning forward. Hands stop you from moving too quietly, soft words comforting you for the moment. Your eyes flick around, brows furrowed. Mingi, San, Yunho… Yeosang, Seonghwa, Jongho… You continue to circle through the men, one missing. Just as you begin to ask, your head turns to the side. Wooyoung holds you up steady, a sweet smile on his lips. He brushes loose hairs away from your cheek, humming softly.

“You okay, pretty peach?”

You nod slowly, looking down at your hands. They’re free of blood. Wait, should they be covered in blood? “What happened?” you ask.

“One of the attendees at the concert took some bad shit, and you drank from them. It hit you pretty hard and you passed out, but everything is alright now. You’re okay,” Mingi says, nudging Yunho. “I told him to keep an eye on you since you’ve just started this, but he let it slip his mind.”

Yunho rolls his eyes, “I went to the bathroom.”

“Enough arguing, please?” Seonghwa murmurs, smiling at you. “Ready to go to bed, doe?”

You steady yourself off the floor with the help of Wooyoung, thanking him. “Okay.”

Everyone begins leaving the room one by one, Yeosang staying with you. He guides you to the bathroom, asking for permission to help you into the bath. There’s no need to say no, no use for it. He’s been with you since the beginning of your transition since that fateful night at Hiraeth, where you met them all. You sink into the warmth of the water, leaning your head against the side. Yeosang sits there, watching you silently.

“Are you alright?” he asks, thumb brushing against your temple. “You worried us.”

You nod, a smile on your lips. “I’m always alright when I’m with you.”

The expression he gives you back is peculiar. Smile quick, strange. His eyes linger on the scar on your chest. “Okay. I’ll give you some time alone,” his lips brush against your forehead. “See you soon, pretty.”

Just as he closes the door, you lean from your spot. You didn’t mention it even though you should have. Crescents scarred his throat, the imprint of a hand stared at you as he helped you bathe. Your mind told you to stop questioning it, to let it go. But you just couldn’t. The sight looked so familiar, filled you with such fear. Like you were missing something right in front of you, but you just couldn’t grasp it. The eerie feeling began to consume you, clawing at the dryness of your throat, forcing itself into your heart through each beat.

A drum solo makes you stop. Your eyes move to the stage, focused on the man whose drumsticks fly through the air, foot tapping on the bass drum pedal, eyes closed completely as he plays. The crowd screams. But you can only stare. Watch as he expertly plays, lips curved into a smile. Blue hair pulled back with a headband. His eyelids open, immediately looking at you.The burgundy color keeps you in place. He tilts his head, observing you. He hits against the crash cymbal and pulls you away from his mesmerizing gaze.

“...Hongjoong,” you breathe.

He takes out a necklace, holding it between his fingers. “But with the long lives we have lived, it will be unfortunate if someone decided to bring the force of the law against us. I’d rather not spend my days rotting behind a prison cell. Not that we would, of course. But it is helpful, nonetheless.” The necklace drops to the table, a wince from Yeosang catching your attention. “But we didn’t bring you back here to tell you about how San practices law. This piece of jewelry, can you touch it?” Hongjoong slides it against the glass to you. Oddly, it doesn’t scratch at all.

The room grows silent; only the muted music filling the air. You stare at the jewels, the emerald color quite vibrant in the low light. Your curiosity almost outweighs the red exclamation points of danger. So despite it, you only stare at it then flick your gaze to Hongjoong. He tilts his head, waiting for you to respond.

Your hand lingers on the emerald necklace resting between your collarbones, warm despite how cold your skin is.

You remember.

How your soul mourned.

Yeosang pressed his cut hands to your lips just before you died. The others dragging Hongjoong off Seonghwa, barely saving him. Bringing Hongjoong to the brink of death.

When in reality, he was just gone. He disappeared after the night you turned. None of them could figure out where he went. They all simply accepted that he’d never come back. Little do they know what you know.

You held him as you felt his skin grow colder than it ever was. As his fearful eyes lost themselves in yours, and became colder, emptier. You stayed with him, cradling his soulless body tight against your chest. His blood seeping into your shirt, dripping down your leg. The knife thrown to the side; fingers wrapped around the cut on his throat to stop it from bleeding despite how much he tortured you.

The others would tell you how you shed tears for the first time over the man. How your screams were so gut-wrenching, even Yeosang struggled to pull you away. How months later, you woke from your slumber crying out his name. And strangely, how you never recalled any of it at all. They made you believe he’s dead. Yeosang turned you, coerced your mind into perceiving Hongjoong’s blood coating your fingers. You still recollect how clearly the scenery changed around you when you sobbed over his body. Dark background blending into the warmth of the summer dawn.

What a surprise it’ll be when they find out otherwise.

tags: @revehosh@mrcarrots@belletiny@sansblkgirlfriend@hwadump@honeyedtalisman@atzcoke@glitterhongjoong@whatudowhennooneseesyou@marievllr-abg@arkive78@dysftopia@kpopnightingale@wxnderingthoughts @jenniee-tm @hongshines@atinytease @multidreams-and-desires @yla-aira@wommypeaches@avantalem@youre-a-wallflower-charlie@toxicccred@xciiiomwliah@madelinelina@kirooz@a-tiny-teez@tenebrisirae @ageofjade @n0v4t33z@yoongiigolden @jonghoharibo @fl0r4f4wn @gh0stbish @kodsukein @vitrealislux@sarcasticsagittarius1998@spiderrenjunfics@aeoliannie @tannie13@leeknowsalot@xshansimsx@seojonneh @shingene @justconniez@mingi-banana@anushka-k@nightmarej1n@watamotee33@dear-dreamie@the-ghostest-with-the-mostest@jaxavance@malyxsoulpersonal@az-con@charreddonuts@beautysirens@sunukissed@lixpixstix

#fic: clair de lune #hongjoong x reader #seonghwa x reader #yunho x reader #yeosang x reader #wooyoung x reader #san x reader #jongho x reader #ot8 x reader #thank you for this journey... love you all <3

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darby-rowe · 4 months

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remind me of the hummingbirds.

— FANFIC PREVIEW — lucy gray baird x fem!reader

˚ ༘♡ ·˚ ₊˚ˑ༄ؘ

The last memory you had of Lucy Gray was her dark brown hair sprawled out amongst the grass beneath the two of you. Laid on her side, cheek pressing against her hands, and her doe eyes studying how the evening sun cascaded onto your face.

This is how you wanted to remember her.

You watched her lips curl into a small smile as she carefully ran a finger down the side of your face, memorizing your contours and bone structure. And her voice was as sweet as honey as she recalled a memory from her past. It wasn’t a significant memory – you heard her tell the tale before – but how she spoke of it didn’t fail to make your chest tighten.

“When I was a babe, my momma used to always point out where the hummingbirds flew,” Lucy Gray recounted, taking a stray piece of your hair and twirling it within her delicate yet calloused fingers. The hands of a guitarist. An artist. “The mornin’ after my daddy died, my momma pointed to this little ol’ thing and told me that meant my daddy finally found his way into heaven. And when sunset hit, and the clouds opened up to let their golden rays shine, then that meant my daddy received his wings and became an angel,”

You weren’t sure why Lucy Gray was telling you this memory as you two laid in the meadow. Your face must have worn your confusion as she knitted her eyebrows together, continuing to trace patterns on your cheek with her fingernail.

“Why do you look like that, sugar?” Lucy Gray asked.

You gently took her hand and intertwined your fingers together, resting them on the grass.

“Look like what?” you replied. “‘m just wonderin’ why you’re repeating this story to me. Not that I mind, of course,”

Lucy Gray blew out a puff of air as a chuckle. “Why does it matter if I’m repeatin’ stories, darlin’?”

“It doesn’t matter. I mean, well, it does, but it doesn’t–”

“You’re cute,” Lucy Gray interrupted you, propping her head up onto her elbow. Her dark brown hair fell down in waves around her forearm as she stared down at you, and you felt the tightening in your chest intensify ever so slightly.

“Don’t call me cute unless you’re gonna kiss me, Lucy Gray,” you teased. A part of you was joking when you said that. The other part, however…

Lucy Gray clicked her tongue. “I don’t give my kisses out to just anybody,”

You dramatically placed your hand onto your heart, feigning hurt. You rolled onto your back and closed your eyes to block out the sun, gasping, mouth dropping in fake shock. “So that’s all I am to you, Lucy Gray?” you exclaimed, earning a small giggle from the girl beside you. “Just anybody? Oh my lord, I thought I was your best friend,”

The brightness of the sun suddenly dimmed a significant amount through your closed lids. When you opened your eyes, you saw the smiling face of Lucy Gray hovering above you. The ends of her hair tickled your cheeks, and under the evening sun, the heat seemed to have risen just a bit more.

And against your will, you were speechless. Especially since Lucy Gray’s lips were now on yours, injecting a new warmth throughout your previously tight chest.

You closed your eyes once more, and the only noises in your ears were the singing birds and Lucy Gray’s voice.

“You’re so much more than that to me, Y/N,”

#i dont usually post previews of fics im writing #but i thought that if i generated hype it would motivate me to finish it #bc i have a really good feeling about this one :)#lucy gray baird x reader #lucy gray x reader #lucy gray baird fanfiction #the ballad of songbirds and snakes #tbosas #the hunger games the ballad of songbirds & snakes #darbyrowe.doc

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angelyuji · 1 year

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yandere matthew murdock x reader

you and matt talk about his relationship with elektra!

tw abuse (physical and emotional), gaslighting, implied kidnapping, just shitty bf things

“do NOT WALK AWAY FROM ME.” matt slams you against the window of his apartment. you choke back a sob. you don’t even remember what started the argument, maybe something about elektra, but none of it matters anymore. you just want to go.

“i-i’m sorry.” you choke out, trying to stop yourself from breaking down.

“i get enough shit from foggy and karen about her. i don’t want to hear it from my own girlfriend.” matt sighs, letting go of you. you slide down and sit. “sweetheart,” he crouches down and cups your face, you try to move, but he holds you in place.

“m-matt, i’m sorry, okay? just g-give me a minute.” you hiccup. you try to remember what you had said to him, what set him off?

“you and elektra are just friends, right? nothing more?”

right. his ex. it's always about his ex. you had just asked about elektra. you knew their history, karen had told you about their on-and-off relationship. you knew you shouldn't have asked. you knew that matt would get mad, but your insecurities had gotten the best of you.

"god, (y/n), this? again?" you watch matt as he pours himself a glass of whiskey, rolling his eyes.

"yes, matt, that. again." you huff and pause the show you were watching. matt takes a seat on the couch and ignores you.

"i don't know why you're so obsessed with my relationship with elektra. i already told you that we're just friends." matt grabs your hand to pull you close to him, you wretch your hand out of his grasp.

matt grits his teeth and puts his feet up. "i know you're just friends, matt. i just want to make sure. karen told me-" matt scoffs.

"you believe karen over your boyfriend?" matt lets out a humorless chuckle.

"god, matt, karen told me about your history because you wouldn't tell me! you'd change the subject or just wave me off. so, i'm sorry if i pissed you off." you get up and matt follows suit. matt grabs your hand.

"no, no. you're not making me the bad guy in this." you try to pull your hand back, but matt's grip was tight.

"the bad guy? the bad guy? god, matt, all i wanted was for you to be honest about what your relationship with elektra was! you're always preaching about honesty to me and it's not fair that it doesn't go both ways!" you rub your temples, exhausted.

matt lets go of your hand, "fine. you want honesty, (y/n)? yeah, i fucked elektra, every single time i saw her. she was my everything. so, i kept going back to her, until you. elektra was dangerous, she was spontaneous, she was unstable. so, i choose the safe option. i choose you. does that make you happy? to hear all of this?" you feel your heart break.

"the...the safe option? i'm just your safe option?" your chest feels like it's being ripped open at matt's cruel confession. "do you... do you even like me, matt?" tears drip down your face and you turn to walk into the kitchen. "god, fuck you, matt. you always do this shit." matt grabs your arm.

"you do NOT get to walk away from me after this bullshit."

"oh! i thought i was just the safe option! i thought i was just a placeholder for elektra!" you push matt away, but matt pulls you back.

"do NOT WALK AWAY FROM ME."

"sweetheart?" matt whispers, watching you carefully. you look up to see him staring at you, concerned. "are you alright?"

"m-my back hurts." your back throbbed from the impact against the window. matt helps you up and sits you on the couch.

matt rubs your back as you sniffle, "sweetheart, none of this would've happened if you had just calmed down and talked to me." you let out a breath. matt stops rubbing your back and places his hand on your shoulder. you shrug it off. "(y/n)?"

you get up, "i don't think... i don't think this is working out." you lick your lips. "i think we should break up." he tilts his head up at you.

"what?" matt gets up. he takes off his glasses and rubs his eyes. "don't be stupid, (y/n). this was just a stupid fight. we'll get through it."

"that's just it, matt. it's not just the fight. it's the fact that i will never measure up to elektra to you. it's the fact that you never even considered to be honest to me about how you still have fucking feelings for her!" you laugh, feeling stupid. your back aches and you just want to fucking leave.

"i don't like her like that, (y/n). you're acting insane. just calm down, get a drink of water." matt goes into the kitchen, you turn away.

"i'm packing my stuff and i'm leaving, matt. i just can't do this anymore." you walk towards the bedroom and hear matt sigh. for the first time since you both started dating, you feel relieved. like this weight you had been carrying had been lifted of your shoulders. you start packing your things into the overnight bag you had brought when you first stayed over.

"i feel bad for the next poor soul that dates him." you mumble.

"don't feel bad, sweetheart." you look up and matt stands at the door with a glass of water and his baton. "cause, you're not going anywhere."

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fan-fantasies · 1 year

Text

A Little Push

Warnings?: drug use (weed), I think that's it.

A/N: woah, I'm alive. It's crazy. It's been rough wanting to write literally anything, but here I am. Heather and I have been hyping each other up like crazy so I'm super excited. Just as a fair warning, this is not proof read, I'm super lazy and just don't want to. Regardless, I do hope you guys enjoy this, it was fun to write. -Breezy

Vermont was always lovely this time of the year, the leaves would change and the true beauty of nature would emerge for a small portion of time before winter would come along. You'd lived in Vermont for the majority of your life, having met your best friend, Heather, at a young age. She was the main reason you knew you weren't alone.

It was hard growing up being different, even if it was fairly easy to hide, but kids were ruthless and they were always willing to spill the tea to anyone who would listen. Nevermore was the one place you knew would be best for you, even after high school, a university for those who were different made you feel at ease. Though, even at a place full of outcasts, you couldn't help but feel different. As a siren, it was almost certain that you would have the confidence of God and the charm of an enchantress/enchanter, but you had found it very difficult to rise to those expectations.

Bianca was a prime example of who most people believed you should be. Everything about her is beautiful, her skin, her eyes, she just radiated beauty and honestly you envied her.. Maybe that’s why you never really spent time with the others, instead hanging out with Heather and the other gorgans. All of them were chill, never expected much, plus they were extremely funny. The notorious stoners were fun to watch as they got high, hell, it was fun to join them on occasion. They were just so excepting. Maybe that was why you and Ajax had gotten so close. To Heather it was pretty apparent you had a thing for him, you of course denied that. Even if you did, dating had never been in the cards. Being an outcast does that to you.

"Dude, come on," Heather began, "just ask him to hang out, hell, ask him if he wants to smoke a joint with you. He won't think twice about it." She rolled her eyes, "plus, he'd be hanging out with you and I know for a fact he'd never turn that down."

You sigh, putting your head down on the table you were currently sitting at. "Don't say that, you'll get my hopes up," you grunt, "no one ever wants to hang out with me, besides you." You whisper.

You hear Heather sigh in what you thought was defeat. You were wrong.

"Ajax! Come here!" She shouted causing your head to snap up, now looking in the direction of where she called. Sure enough Ajax came jogging over.

"Hey Heather, what's up?" His eyes met yours, "y/n, hey." He nervously said.

Before you could speak, Heather responded, "Y/n wants to hangout and have smoke, you in?" The way she said it was calm, forward but not in a pushy way.

You watched as a smile grew on his face, "Hell yeah, mine or yours?

You swallowed, "Y-Yours?" You stammer bewildered that he agreed.

"Great, stop by a little later." You respond with a simple nod before he walked off. You sat there stupefied, did that really just happen?

"Told you." Heather smirked, her arms crossed over her chest.

"I can't believe you."

She laughed, "I think the word you're looking for is, thank you." She teased.

Your expression must have shown your anxiety, Heather's face softened.

"Look, I know it's hard to believe someone other than me would want to hang out with you. Let's be honest, I'm not the most social butterfly either, like I legit could turn people to stone but please," she began, "give him a chance, at least be his friend." She begged. You listened to your friend, you'd been through everything together and you knew she'd never do anything to hurt you.

You nod, "okay, I will. Thank you."

She smiled, "Now, how about we go back to yours and get you ready for your date." She teased.

The hours leading up to meeting up with Ajax seemed to drag out causing anxiety to bubble up inside of you. You were finally gonna hang out with Ajax, alone. The idea of all of this made your heart flutter, it was finally happening. You'd snuck out of your dorm, down the long, and seemingly endless, corridors towards his room. When you arrived, you knocked softly hoping to not alert anyone around.

The door swung open with haste, Ajax stood there in his casual clothing with a small smile on his face.

"Hey come in," he spoke as he stepped aside letting you enter. He had some quiet music playing in the background, nothing that you recognized though.

"Did you kick Xavier out?" You joke, seeing as though it's just him.

Ajax rubbed the back or his neck, "would you believe me if I said no?"

You laugh softly, "no." You admit. He chuckled softly, not speaking again. He motioned you over to his side of the room, "make yourself at home, I'll go get a joint for us."

You hesitated before slowly walking over to his desk, taking a seat in his desk chair. You could hear him shuffling around, opening and closing drawers before coming back over. He had everything ready to go, he must have prepared ahead of time.

"What, you don't wanna sit with me?" He joked with a smirk before he flopped on his bed.

You felt your cheeks heat up but you nervously laughed, "Buy me dinner first." You threw back. A wide grin spread on his face, one that even the Cheshire cat would be proud of.

"Maybe after." He winked before motioning you over. You comply, standing from your current seat and making your way to his bed, now sitting across from him.

He took the first step, lighting the joint and taking a few shirt puffs before offering it to you. You carefully take it from him, bringing it to your lips and inhaling. The familiar burn filled your lungs as you held the smoke in for a few moments,then allowing yourself to relax before exhaling. You take another hit before handing it back to Ajax. The atmosphere was comfortably silent, the both of you just enjoying each other's presence.

"I'm really glad you wanted to hang out." He admitted before taking another puff.

You glanced over at him, "really? I know I technically didn't ask but I've wanted to hang out. We don't get to just hang out together, usually Heather or Xavier are with us." You ramble looking at your hands.

He chuckled, "you're right," he began, "which is why I'm glad." He explained.

You take another drag before responding, "I never thought you'd want to," you blurt, traces of smoke passing by your lips.

His eyebrows knit together, clearly confused, "why's that?" He questioned curiously.

You weren't sure how to respond, you sat in silence for a moment.

"If you don't want to tell me, that's fine. Just know, whatever it is, you can trust me." He mentions calmly.

Your mind began to swirl with thoughts, you weren't sure if it was the weed finally starting to take effect.

"It's just," you begin, "I've never been good around people, Heather's always been my only friend since we were kids." You explain.

"You've known Heather for that long?" He pressed.

You smile softly, "Yeah, we grew up together, lived in the same city in this wonderfully cold state." You tell him, "it's kinda crazy to think about." You giggle. "But she's been the only friend I've had, once my abilities as a siren began to show most people avoided me. As sirens, I would say we are pretty charismatic but I've never seen myself as that."

Ajax remained quiet as he listened to you.

"Hence why I don't really hang around with the other sirens. I consider myself an outcast among outcasts."

Ajax shook his head, "well, if it makes you feel any better, I'd say you're the better of them." He put the, now finished, blunt in the ashtray, "in fact, I'd say you're the most attractive of them." He admits.

You felt your heart stop, had you heard him right? "W-what?" You stammer looking at him.

He lit another joint, "Yeah, I think you're beautiful " He clarifies before putting the joint between his lips. You look at him, taking in his features, his gorgeous eyes, kissable lips and the few unmissable snakes that would peek out from his beanie. It was a few moments before he noticed you looking at him.

"What?" He asked.

"Nothing… I just…" You stammer, "can I kiss you?" You ask, having a sudden burst in confidence. Thank you weed.

He didn't hesitate, he placed the joint in the ashtray before moving it. You scoot closer to him, butterflies fluttering in your stomach. You were nervous, and clearly so was he. You decided to just take the leap, closing the distance between the two of you, your lips brushing against each other. Your heart was hammering against your ribs as he pressed his lips now firmly against yours. The kiss was slow, warm, it sent electricity through your body. It was a strange feeling, but not anything you were against. It was clear Ajax was a bit hesitant, you weren't sure if it was nerves or something else, regardless you couldn't help but let out a giggle before pulling away. You could see the faint blush on his cheeks, his eyes slightly glazed over due to the effects of the weed. A dorky smile grew on his face, he didn't speak for a few moments.

"Please tell me we can do that again."

You laugh, "Yeah, I'd like that "

#wednesday imagine #imagines #ajax petropolis x reader #ajax petropolus #ajax petropolus imagine #ajax petropolus imagines #wednesday netflix

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spiderlilyserendipity · 1 year

Text

KSJ x Reader: Halli Galli 🔞

A/N: In honour of Lee Youngji and Jinnie’s hilarious episode on Youtube, here is a friends-to-lovers smutty fic wherein Jin and Y/N are drinking together and Jin lets her win on purpose.

Genres: Smut, Fluff, Slight angst

Tags: dom!Seokjin, sub!reader, brat!reader, jealousy, hand kink, praise kink, oral (m. receiving), mirror sex, unprotected sex, aftercare!!!, seokjin is a meanie at the start but the sweetest bf at the end.

WC: 2207 (2.2K)

“Stop doing that!” You whine, making your friends laugh.

“Doing what?” Seokjin tips his head to the side, giving you his best unknowing look. Around you, the other six men laugh, making your face heat up in embarrassment.

“You’re losing on purpose!” You accuse, voice a little higher than usual from the alcohol. You look at the bell on the middle of the table, where the two of you are meant to compete to smack when you draw matching cards. But there Seokjin’s hand is, resting on the edge of the table, inches from the bell on purpose.

It’s another night with your friends, a break from your busy lives as you eat and drink together at your apartment in the heart of Seoul.

“C’mon, hyung. She’s catching on. You can act better than that.” Hoseok teases, ruffling your hair when you glare at him. Being the youngest in your friend group has its advantages sometimes, but not when games come into play.

“Whatever, I’m not playing.” You scoff, taking another swig of your drink and leaning against Yoongi’s shoulder. Yoongi, always in the mood to cuddle but never able to admit it, wraps an arm around your shoulders. You miss the glare Seokjin shoots your way when Yoongi does that.

After a few more drinks and rounds of Halli Galli, the boys and you call it a night.

“Hyung, we’ll catch you later.” Jungkook says in the doorway, catching you by surprise. Seokjin is standing next to you in the living room, not even moving to put his shoes on like the others are.

“Seokjin?” You ask, but Seokjin is busy avoiding you. He heads to the kitchen, starting to put leftover pizza from dinner into containers for tomorrow.

“Don’t give me that look.” Seokjin says without looking up at you, seeing you look at him curiously.

“I said I wanna know why you let me win!” You whine, knowing you’re being annoying but Seokjin deserves it for being equally annoying. Seokjin is never like this with you, never cutting you any slack except when you’re sick or hurting. He’s always the first person to push your buttons, to play around with you. So what’s with this – why is he treating you so seriously today?

Seokjin clicks his tongue, leaning back against the wall. He crosses his arms over his chest, eyes half closed and looking down at you. Undeterred, you take a step forward, in his personal space.

“Don’t act like you don’t know.” He accuses you back.

You frown, trying to guess what he means. “What? I didn’t cheat in the game, I promise. I mean, I know Jimin was standing behind you but I swear he didn’t tell me your cards—”

Seokjin pushes off the wall, pushing past you. “If you’re going to be annoying, I’m going home.”

You grab his wrist, tired of this. “Oppa.” You insist.

Seokjin freezes on the spot, his shoulders stiffening. You never call him that, since Seokjin never particularly enforces it with you. Now that you think about it, there are a lot of inconsistencies with the way Seokjin treats you over others.

Before you can even realize what is happening, Seokjin has you pinned against the wall, his hands on either side of your head. “Don’t test me, Y/N. I’m not in the mood.” He grits.

You glare up at him, ego flaring at him unjustly getting mad at you. “What did I do?”

Seokjin looks at you, setting his jaw. Then, he pushes off the wall. “Forget it. It’s childish.”

“Oh, so now you’re going to pretend to be ‘the adult’ in this situation? After being weird all evening?” You ask, irritated. “Seriously, what’s going on?”

“I don’t know, ask Yoongi!” Seokjin snaps.

You’re stunned, unable to do anything but look at Seokjin’s flushed face. Then, you remember how you and Yoongi cuddled earlier. A slow smile spreads across your face. “Are you jealous right now?”

“Yeah, I am!” Seokjin admits childishly. “I let you win because I didn’t want to hurt your hand, okay? And instead you got all cuddly with Yoongi instead. What’s with that?”

You giggle, taking a step closer to Seokjin. You cup his face, and Seokjin stiffens. “Was my Seokjinnie jealous?” You coo, making Seokjin’s ears turn red.

“Stop playing around. You know how I feel about you.” Seokjin says, making you lose your playful attitude.

“What?” You say, genuinely surprised. “How do you feel about me?”

Seokjin sighs, tipping his head back. He swallows, and you see his Adam’s apple move. You swallow unconsciously. When Seokjin looks back at you, he is more serious than you have ever seen him. “Can I kiss you?” He asks. When you stare back at him with wide eyes, a muscle flickers in Seokjin’s jaw. “Y/N. I asked you something, sweetheart.”

“Yes, please.” You whisper. In an instant, Seokjin closes the space between you, kissing you with ferocity you have never experienced before. A startled noise escapes you, but Seokjin swallows it down like a starved man. You grip Seokjin’s biceps, digging your nails in. In response, Seokjin wraps his hands around the backs of your thighs, lifting you onto the counter.

“Fuck, I can’t do this.” Seokjin breaks the kiss to curse out.

“What?” You ask, wide eyed. You’re out of breath. Seokjin glances at your lips, then swipes his thumb across the bottom one.

“Tell me you want this. If you don’t, I’ll get lost. I promise.” Seokjin tells you, but his hands hold your hips with an unspoken desperation. You swallow. Seokjin takes your silence as hesitance and lets go. “I’m sorry.” He says, scratching the back of his neck. He doesn’t make eye contact.

You grab his hand, holding it between both of your own. “I want this.” You say, and Seokjin looks up, a glimmer of hope flickering in his eyes. “Seokjin, please. I want you.”

Seokjin smiles, looking relieved. He cups your face. “Thank god.” He breathes.

“But I have a condition.” You say.

Seokjin nods. “Anything, baby.”

You give him a cheeky grin. “I want to suck you off.”

Seokjin arches a brow. “Fucking brat.” Seokjin comments like he’s talking about the weather, slapping your ass. You moan, and Seokjin chuckles. “Oh, did my baby like that?” He coos, getting back at you for cooing at him earlier. You whimper, nodding.

Seokjin slaps twice more, one on each side of your ass. You whine, wiggling into his touch. “Y-Your hands are so big.” You whisper.

Seokjin laughs at you mockingly. “Does my girl like that? Huh?” He asks, massaging where he just hit. You arch up into his touch. “I asked you a question, Y/N.”

“I love it. Please, Seokjin.” You beg, and Seokjin takes it as the green light to lift you up into his arms. You wrap your legs around his middle, gasping when you feel how hard he is. Not to mention, he’s big.

In a matter of seconds, Seokjin has you laying on your bed. He takes a step back, stripping his shirt off. You sit up, on your knees. Seokjin comes closer, and you put your hands on his belt. Seokjin stops you by cupping your chin with one hand. “Did I say you could do that, sweetheart?”

You give him your best puppy eyes. “Please.”

Seokjin chuckles. “Who knew you were such a pretty slut.” He degrades, making you wriggle. Then, he unbuckles his belt and lets his cock out of his pants. Your mouth practically waters at the sight. You grip the base. “However. I control the pace. You get to tap out whenever you want by tapping my legs. Understood?”

You have always liked a challenge. You raise a brow. “I can take it, babe.”

Seokjin gives you a look and says “I’ll be the judge of that”.

You lick at his cock, then envelope your lips around the tip. You suck, and Seokjin moans. You slowly lower yourself onto the base, and once situated, you glance up at Seokjin. He places a hand on the back of your neck, using it to guide you up and down his cock. You swallow around him, loving the feeling of being used. After a few moments, Seokjin takes you off his cock. You catch your breath. Seokjin’s hands come down to cup your face, wiping away tears you didn’t know were there. “Good girl. You look so sweet right now.” He praises, and you clench your thighs.

Seokjin rolls his eyes. “Oh, how predictable. My little brat turns out to be a good girl that loves to be praised.”

“Any problem with that?” You ask in a hoarse voice.

Seokjin looks amused. “Haven’t broken you enough yet, have I?”

In one swift motion, Seokjin pulls off your shirt and unclasps your bra. You sit obediently, waiting for him to touch you. Seokjin smirks, then twists your nipples. You cry out, and he puts on a fake-confused look. “What? I thought you loved my hands?”

You glare, and Seokjin holds two fingers to your mouth. “Suck.” He orders, and you obey. You swirl your tongue around his digits like you would his member. There’s something more sensual about sucking his fingers, however. “Everything off.” He orders, and you have never undressed faster in your life. Seokjin looks at the way you’re sitting on bed, then clicks his tongue. With one hand, he rearranges you so that your legs are spread in the air. Then, he removes the two fingers that were in your mouth and inserts them inside you.

You clench, and Seokjin kisses along your chest. “I’ve got you, baby.” He says. Slowly, he pumps in and out of you, kissing the junction of your neck and collarbone when you relax. “Good girl.” He praises, and you wrap your arms around his back. Continuing to kiss and murmur praise, he stretches you out, adding a third finger.

Then, Seokjin sits you up. “On my lap, baby.” He orders, and you let him turn you to face the mirror on the wall. “That’s it, my love.” He whispers, reassuring you as you take him inch by inch. When he bottoms out, you clench around him. Breathing heavy, you whisper Seokjin’s name. You watch Seokjin kiss your neck in the mirror, his strong arms around your waist.

“I’m here, baby. I’ll take care of you.” He says, noting the way your expression has turned soft, your mind fuzzy.

Quietly, you take one of Seokjin’s hands and raise it to your throat. Understanding, Seokjin tightens it ever so slightly and you hum in satisfaction. “Please, baby.” You manage. Seokjin grins at you in the mirror.

“Anything for you.” He vows.

Holding you flush against him with one arm, Seokjin begins moving his hips into you. In a matter of minutes, the two of you establish a rhythm where he moves into you and you grind down against him. Eventually, the feeling builds up. “S-Seokjin.”

Seokjin understands, moving the hand that was holding you against him down to your clit. He rubs small circles, making you go insane. “N-Need you.” You beg, near tears at this point.

“Trust me. We’ll come when I say.” He says, and you relinquish your control to him.

A few minutes later, you tip your head back against his shoulder, entirely relaxed. “Come, my love.” He orders softly, and you tremble from how hard you come. In the same breath, Seokjin paints your inner walls, making you feel warm and taken care of.

Seokjin maneuvers you so you’re laying down on the bed, slipping out of you. “Don’t go.” You whisper, tired.

Seokjin kisses your forehead. “Never.”

He gets out of bed and returns with a warm, wet towel and wipes you down. “C’mon baby. You need to pee after sex.” He teases you.

You groan, pulling him into you. “I wanna cuddle.”

Seokjin is firm about this, however. “No. Use the bathroom and then we can shower together. Then cuddles.”

Letting him gently tug you into a sitting position, you walk yourself to the washroom and use it. Once you’re done your business, you stick your head out the door. Seokjin is sitting on the bed, comfortable. He gives you the most heart-stealing smile you’ve ever seen. “Ready, my love?”

You nod, and Seokjin comes over to you. The two of you get in the shower and you allow Seokjin to wash you up. Seokjin sings softly to you as he dries you off afterwards, then blow dries your hair for you. “I’m gonna go change the sheets. Where are your extras?” Seokjin asks as you’re doing your skincare routine.

“Middle closet in the hallway.” You tell him.

By the time you’re finished your skin care routine, the bedsheets have been changed and Seokjin has aired out the room.

He looks up from his phone, then turns it off and holds his arms out. “Come here.” He says, and you listen. Climbing into bed, you tuck yourself into his hold.

“Let’s play Halli Galli next week.” You say, half asleep.

Seokjin chuckles. “Why?”

“I’m gonna crush you next time.” You murmur, before drifting off to sleep.

In sleep, Seokjin kisses your forehead. “Anything for you.”

#bts x reader #bts smut #seokjin x reader #jin x reader #seokjin x you #jin x you #seokjin x y/n #jin x y/n #bts fanfic

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polaroidbills · 1 year

Text

reciprocate.

genre! - angst angst angst, little fluff, slice of life, unrequited love

synopsis! - a story about how love isn't always perfect. about how everything ends up in tears but not always sad ones. love isn't always what your mind makes it out to be. it's full of downs, not just ups. it isn't always meant to be.

warnings! - not proof read, made at like 3 a.m, one kiss, mention of heart stabbing (lmk if i missed anything)

word count! - 1 368

author's note! - i relate so much to the main character, it's embarrassing. (minus the boyfriend part)

choi beomgyu. a classmate of mine. known as the popular, all-rounder, it boy of the 8th grade. many most would describe him as charming, attractive, funny, nice, smart, etc.

i remember the first time i laid eyes on him. his features sharp, hair framing his face, and his proportions unbelievably perfect. immediately i knew. i told myself to not fall and to force myself to look somewhere else. but i couldn't.

everyday i saw him again and again. i fell deeper and deeper, more and more. i couldn't stop myself. but i knew he never saw me as anything. i was just like every other girl. in fact, he probably doesn't even know i exist.

it was crushing my heart. to see him everytime he rakes through his hair or laughs at a friends joke. it hurt to know he could never reciprocate the same feelings.

one sided.

that's all it was. unrequited. if only he did reciprocate.

all those nights i couldn't sleep, i was busy. busy thinking about him and how it would be if he liked me back. if he noticed me.

but no. it could never happen. he's way out of my league. he's a 10, i'm a 5. we don't even belong in the same room.

as time went by my feelings grew. the school year is almost done. we're about to graduate. my feelings from the start of the year never left. i feel the same way. if not worse. i like him a lot more than before.

we ultimately end up going to the same school. and over the summer i work on myself. of course not only for him, but for me. if i think i look good maybe he will too.

i've changed over the break. from a 5 to i's say an 8.

as i walk through to doors and immediately spot him. choi beomgyu. talking to his friends. smiling and laughing.

i haven't even told my friend about him. about how i have a fat crush on him.

in class he sits next to me? since when did he know i existed? am i finally getting noticed now that i've worked on myself?

"hey."

"hi?"

"y/n right? you've changed," he exclaims shocked.

"oh yeah," i laugh. "can i help you?"

"i don't think we've ever really talked much. i want to get to know you more."

oh. the choi beomgyu wants to get to know me?

"you're friends with minji right?"

"oh yeah she's my best friend."

minji. kim minji. she's been my best friend since the 1st grade. she's everything i wish to be. pretty, smart, caring, energetic, happy, and so much more. all guys go to her. and what's worse guys only come to me to get close to her.

"what about her?"

"i was wondering if you could tell me what she likes? like does she like tulips or roses? dark or milk chocolate?"

oh. not surprised, but definitely disappointed. who am i to think the choi beomgyu would want to actually get to know me? of course he's interested in minji, who just happens to be my best friend.

"you know what why don't you just come with me to the mall? i want to make sure i get exactly what minji wants."

"oh uh okay?"

i mean sometimes, well most of the times, i glanced at beomgyu, he was looking at her. he's definitely shown interest in her multiple times, but i've just realized it now.

from that day, my heart ached and ached. it's like never ending heart burn. like someone stabs me in the heart everytime i see them together or hear them.

minji only ever really talks about beomgyu, and how amazing he and his dates are. even beomgyu comes to me sometimes, but never to actually talk to me or get to know me. no. but only to rant about how beautiful and perfect minji is. minji this, minji that.

doesn't he think i already know? out of the dozen times she's been chosen over me?

as fays go by my body and heart numb. it's like someone's put numbing cream on me and the effects never left me. one week ago me would've teared up everytime beomgyu or minji talked about each other. but present me just smiles and nods, tuning out the voices and words.

over the time me and beomgyu's friends got closer. to the point where i hang out and yalk to them more than minji. it's like they've replaced minji and i've replaced beomgyu. they don't even hang out with beomgyu much anymore. minji and beomgyu are too occupied with each other to keep around others. they're inseparable.

yeonjun and i are closer than the others but we all tolerate each other. ha.

the more i spend time with him and the other guys, the more i can forget sbout minji and beomgyu. the more i can feel and the more i can stop occupying my mind with him.

and just like that a 9-year friendship flushed down the toilet. and just like that a fat crush disappears like magic.

yeonjun and i have gone on dozens of one-on-one 'dates'. he's a great guy. a perfect guy. he's everything i've wanted and needed but more. words can't describe how much i like him.

but does he feel the same way? does he reciprocate these feelings?

it's been almost a year since the incident. a few months since i've talked to or hung out with beomgyu or minji. in fact i've never been happier. the feeling is unmatched.

i've healed. i've moved on. finally.

yeonjun and i are going on a date. i don't know where he's taking me though.

"don't look yet, we're almsot there," yeonjun's hand in mine and eyes closed he leads the way.

"okay open."

i flutter my eyes open and a beautiful view fills my vision. we're at the spot we had our first date. a hill in a field filled with greenery, sunlight, and flowers. i gaze down at the picnic blanket and basket set up.

"come sit down and eat. my mom heped me make tempura shrimp sushi. your favourite," he signals for me to sit.

"mm it's really good," i manage to say with a mouth full of sushi.

"woah calm down there's plenty more sushi for you," he laughs. the most beautiful laugh ever.

after the meal i lay down to gaze at the sky. and yeonjun follows beside me.

"i can't believe you remember this spot."

"of course i would, it was our first date," he smiles.

"y/n."

"yeah?"

"there's something i need to tell you."

my heart pounds. nervousness fills my frame.

"i like you. so much. ever since the 8th grade. but i knew you liked beomgyu. i understand if you don't fell the same way. but please y/n i just need clarity. do you or do you not like me back?"

the relief. the weight lifted from my shoulders. a sigh leaving my airway. finally.

"yeonjun of course i feel the same way. i like you too," my smiles grows more and more.

"will you be my girlfriend?"

"finally. i thought i was gonna have to ask you myself. i would love to be your girlfriend."

he brings me in for a kiss. a kiss filled with passion and love.

i mean don't get me wrong, it was no one's fault. not mine, not beomgyu's, nor minji's fault. it was just never meant to be. we weren't made for each other.

beomgyu's a great guy. attractive, smart, kind and more. but in the end we both were never supposed to be together. in the end we cry tears of joy and happiness.

to this day we still keep in touch, though we're now in university. minji and i too. we've hung out and bonded a lot. i've even come clean about my crush on him back in highschool and we laughed upon the memory. it no longer bothers me. because finally. finally i've found the one. one that feels the same. a love so strong, nothing can break the bond. a love that is requited.

someone that does reciprocate.

@1-800-143 please DO NOT copy, plagiarize, or repost any of my work.

121 notes · View notes

peninkwrites · 5 months

Text

Hear no evil. See no evil. Speak no evil. Ch 6 of ?

Tommy explains to his loved ones what's changed with mixed success. Ranboo gives Tubbo a piece of his soul.

crossposted to ao3

Ch 1

Ch 5

Ch 7

It takes Tubbo ages to realize Tommy doesn’t speak anymore. When he and Tommy talk, he’s always looking at Tommy’s hands. He doesn’t realize it until there comes a time, a conversation, where Tubbo trusts Tommy’s face more than his hands.

“So, you heard it, didn’t you?” Tubbo stares down at the tape recorder he has yet to return to Ranboo. He sees Tommy nod out of the corner of his eye. “And, what did you think? Should I… he called Ranboo a traitor. Is that what this is? And… how?” Tubbo looks over at Tommy, at his best friend’s face, and sees him grimace, hesitating.

Tommy starts signing, and Tubbo looks down at his words, but then he glances back to Tommy’s face. Tommy is signing. He isn’t talking.

“You… you can just sign now? I’d have thought you’d have to keep talking too for it to make sense to you. Is it hard?” Tubbo asks, and Tommy’s face falls, his hands do too. Tubbo tries to ask more concisely. “Being quiet? Come on, that must suck for you. Even if you’re just talking to me, you can talk, you know. I’m actually getting a bit better at lip reading!” Tubbo stares at Tommy’s face for the first time in a while, waiting for something, but it’s not what he expects. Tommy somehow looks ashamed.

“Tommy, what?” Tubbo laughs, anxiety building. “Is that… is that bad? What is it?”

Tommy stares down at his own hands, and Tubbo thinks he sees his lip tremble, before he’s distracted by Tommy’s signs. They are slow and shaky, as if he regrets creating them at all.

“I don’t talk anymore.”

“What?” Tubbo feels like he must have misunderstood something. “What d’you mean? Like, you’re sick?”

Tommy shakes his head. “I can’t.”

“I don’t get it. Did you lose your voice or something?”

He shakes his head.

“Can you… can you explain more, bossman?”

“I don’t know,” Tommy signs, hands shaky, almost strangled, signs rigid and white knuckled, as if Tommy buries grief.

“You’re kind of freaking me out now,” Tubbo doesn’t look at Tommy’s hands for his signs, he looks at his face. His chest feels very tight. “You… you physically can’t talk?”

Tommy hesitates, as if unsure, before shaking his head.

Tommy wavers, before signing, “not allowed.”

Tubbo pauses, trying to piece together whatever dreadful puzzle Tommy is revealing to him. “Not allowed… not allowed to talk? By who, Tommy?”

“D. R. E. A. M.”

“Dream? He’s not–” Tubbo laughs, sharp and panicked. “He’s not here, bossman. And why– y-you never cared what he thought before, I don’t– I don’t understand, Tommy, I…” Tubbo knows he’s missing something, something very important.

Tommy hadn’t explained. He hadn’t signed nor uttered those words, you don’t know what he did to me in exile, because he hadn’t had the vocabulary for it. He still doesn’t have the words, so Tommy signs again, the one word he does know which rings true.

“Hurts.”

“It… it hurts?” Tubbo says softly. “To… to talk?”

Tommy shakes his head. “He hurts me,” Tommy signs. “Far away. Alone. He hurts me.” Tommy seems to remember something, signing quickly, “finish.”

Right. They had been able to resume their sign language lessons. Indicating past tense, he signed finish at the start or end of it. Maybe Tubbo is meant to take some comfort in that. He hurt me, past tense. He doesn’t.

“I am… I am so sorry, Tommy.”

Tommy shakes his head. “Not you.”

“Except it was–” Tubbo is startled by Tommy’s hand covering his mouth. He shuts it quickly, deigning he does not want to taste Tommy’s sweaty, grubby hand.

Tommy lets go, if only to sign again, more forcefully now. “Not you.”

Tubbo feels a lump form in his throat and nods. “A-And are you– Are you okay? Like, I guess everything considered…”

Tommy doesn’t sign at first, his hands are raised in front of him, but he doesn’t move. Tubbo buries the urge to interrupt and ask more of him. Tommy seems to debate for a long time, hands starting to move, before curling into a fist, until finally he signs something.

“I don’t talk the same here. Now.”

Tubbo tries to process this. “Um, I’d expect not, huh? If you’re… if you’re not talking.”

Tommy shakes his head and tries again. “I don’t think the same. Or talk the same. My words are different. Maybe from signing. Maybe something not that. I don’t understand the same way. What I say or think.” Tommy hesitates. “He took it away from me. In more than one way.”

“What?”

Tommy frowns, fumbling for the right words. “My…” He grabs his own throat, before remembering the specifics and trying again, brushing two fingers up his throat a couple of times. “My voice.”

“Oh.” Tubbo doesn’t know if he should ask what comes next to his mind, but it’s hard to resist. “What did… what happened? What did he–” Tubbo knows there’s a tremor in his voice, he feels it. He clears his throat. “What happened?”

Tommy doesn’t look at him, merely at his own hands, wrung together, fingers fidgeting restlessly. He shakes his head.

“Okay. That’s… that’s fine, bossman. You don’t have to tell me.”

Tommy smiles, crooked and forced, and makes a messy heart with his hands. Tubbo laughs. “Love you too, man.” He thinks Tommy laughs too, but that looks wrong too. Tommy’s shoulders raise and he smiles and it’s almost like a laugh, but not his laugh. Tubbo doesn’t know if it’s anything audible at all. He’ll never hear Tommy’s wheezing cackle again, but he’d have liked to know it still existed.

Ranboo is so scared it makes him dizzy. After doomsday, he’s discovered that he can still manage to read. The blindness has begun to swell from his peripheral and up toward his central vision like a rising tide, but if he focuses on the upper half of his vision, he can make out words. Just barely, though. Sometimes, when the light gets too bright, or if he stands up too quickly, his vision goes white. Every time, every shadow or the occasional black dots that have been creeping up without rhyme or reason, he freezes. He is stuck, paralyzed in the terror of the thought, what if this is it? What if this is the end?

And every time, his vision returns. Limited, but still there. He went to visit Phil and Technoblade once, maybe thinking of setting up a home there, but he quickly finds that the white snow makes it impossible for him to see, especially when he gets away from the tree cover to the open fields where Techno has made his cabin. It was kind of them to offer, but he cannot bear to live there.

He doesn’t know where he should live. He avoids the crater. He doesn’t trust himself to recognize the end, to realize where the rocks turn to slippery gravel that might send him over the edge. He sees the grid, though. It had been invisible to him that night, but in the day, when it’s overcast, or the sun has begun to set, never too bright, Ranboo sees it. It hangs like a dark omen in the sky.

Ranboo ends up staying in Eret’s castle for the time being. They had offered it as sanctuary to anyone displaced by doomsday, and Ranboo had, albeit reluctantly, accepted. Not out of dislike of Eret, but rather, he didn’t want to intrude in some way. He would have preferred isolation, but considering his current state, that doesn’t feel like an option anymore.

Tubbo had returned his recorder to him.

“I haven’t listened to it, obviously,” Tubbo had said carefully. “Whatever’s in there is yours, Bossman. So, here.”

Ranboo hadn’t known how to thank him, nor how to deal with the guilt in his chest.

Ranboo also develops a sense of urgency for recording their memory book. It begins to intrude on other aspects of his life, until when Tubbo asks to hang out, he agrees only if Tubbo is okay waiting around while he finishes a few more pages. Tubbo agrees. After this he’ll be done with his first book, it had been a tiny thing, a copy of a book already destroyed, leaving only one more; the most current one before he started recording things. It’s not much now, but he knows it’s important. It’s the beginning of what, underneath an obsidian sky pierced by tnt, once felt like the end. He doesn’t want to lose it, and with how painfully slow he must go to read a single page, he’s afraid that he will. Ranboo feels a sting at the corners of his eyes as his head aches from his attempts to focus on something he can barely see.

He cannot cry now. Not over something so small. It feels akin to suicide at this point, to throwing away his sight and one more part of himself. “W-What if I don’t make it in time?” Ranboo chokes out. “What happens when I– When I can’t read anymore? I can’t. I c-can’t lose any more of my memories, I’ve already lost–” Ranboo is startled to look up and see Tubbo staring back at him, concern barely visible to Ranboo in his furrowed brow. The glasses don’t do enough, but they help in that what vision he still has is less blurred. Ranboo had assumed––or rather hoped––Tubbo wouldn’t be able to understand him, maybe wouldn’t notice him talking at all, but Tubbo has gotten better at lip reading than he lets on.

“It’ll be alright, Bossman. I know you’re scared as shit, not that I blame you,” Tubbo places his hand over Ranboo’s, and Ranboo almost feels like Tubbo’s touch burns as much as the tears, in a different way, though. Very different.

Tubbo wavers, mouth opened to speak, before closing again as some internal debate wages. Ranboo doesn’t know where he gets the courage, but he takes Tubbo’s hand, holding onto it maybe a bit too tight, but Tubbo doesn’t pull away.

“If you’ll let me,” Tubbo begins slowly and carefully. “I will read it aloud and record it. I will do my best not to… to think about it, it’s your private life, I’ll just read. My volume control isn’t what it used to be and honestly I’ve always been shit at reading, but I’ll do my best, yeah?”

Ranboo nods, a little shakily, but there is a new weight of relief pressing down on his shoulders as he is given permission to pass along half of his soul to someone else. It aches. But Ranboo trusts him, to be deemed a traitor or not.

“Hi, Tommy! What’re you up to?” Ghostbur asks brightly, following his little brother down the prime path.

Tommy looks over at him, tired. He signs, despite knowing it’s useless, “I’m repairing this,” he points to the prime path.

Ghostbur stares at Tommy’s face, vacant and uncomprehending, that same empty smile etched across gray cheeks. “Tommy? What’re you up to?”

Tommy repeats the same signs, more forcefully, holding his hands up in Ghostbur’s face like that will make a difference when he knows it won’t. This has happened three or four times now.

Ghostbur laughs. “Tubbo isn’t here, silly. Why are you signing? I don’t really know sign language, you know.”

“You could learn,” Tommy signs, jabbing and sharp, pressing his finger against Ghostbur’s chest, against the cold, oddly silky material of his sweater when he signs you.

“Is this… is this a game? Like charades!” Ghostbur claps. “Am I supposed to guess?”

Tommy flicks him off.

“Oh, are you telling me to fuck off?” Ghostbur gasps, as if offended, still smiling like a fucking idiot. “That’s not very nice, Tommy. Come on, just talk to me!”

Tommy scowls. He’s so fucking sick of doing this, but he doesn’t see how else he’ll get the ghost to leave him alone. He jabs against the buttons of his comm vindictively. He hates messaging Ghostbur. It’s unnerving to write messages to the player name of a dead man.

You whisper to WilburSoot: I cant talk anymore ghostbur

Ghostbur stares in mild-mannered puzzlement at his comm. “Tommy… Tommy why are you messaging me? I’m right here!” He giggles.

Tommy quickly spams the message a dozen times, waiting for it to get through the ghost’s thick, dead skull.

<WilburSoot> why can’t you talk, Tommy?

Tommy winces, irritated by the ghost airing his predicament to the whole server. This happened the first time he explained too.

You whisper to WilburSoot: you dont need to type messages I can hear you

“Oh! Well, why are you messaging me, then?” Ghostbur asks.

Tommy huffs softly, going back up to the previous message again.

You whisper to WilburSoot: I cant talk anymore ghostbur

“Oh!” Something seems to click. Not enough. “That’s funny, Tommy. Did you lose your voice? Too much shouting, perhaps?” He says teasingly.

Tommy doesn’t laugh. He returns his focus to the prime path, ripping up rotted boards with a vengeance.

“I could get you some tea, Tommy! Tea with honey? That’ll get you talking in no time!” Ghostbur drifts off to do just that. Tommy doesn’t bother messaging him to explain why that won’t help. That went better than some of the other times, but he doubts it will last. The ghost has already forgotten twice.

The second time had been the worst. Tommy never should have been honest with him, he’d just gotten so frustrated with talking––rather, typing around it. The stupid ghost just refused to understand that he couldn’t talk, not that he was choosing not to, so Tommy, perhaps even hoping to hurt him, had told him the truth.

You whisper to WilburSoot: I cant talk anymore because of Dream

“What’s that supposed to mean? Are you…” Ghostbur had hushed to a whisper. “Are you playing the quiet game with him? You’re not very good at that game, Tommy.”

You whisper to WilburSoot: no Im not aloud becaus he beat the shit out of me and did bad things n hurt me so i stoppped talkign forever

Ghostbur had stared at the message with that same blank smile, so vacant Tommy wondered if the stupid ghost had forgotten how to read. Tommy noticed blue beginning to appear in his hand. Right. It starts out transparent, then it sucks the sad out of you. Not that that means he’ll remember it. Ghostbur had eventually looked up, a tremor in his voice, smile still there but almost pained. “Here, Tommy. Have some blue. That’ll– That’ll make it better, and then you can talk… you can talk again!” Ghostbur had pressed the dye into his hands with more urgency than Tommy had thought possible for a dead thing. “It’ll– It’ll stop the hurting, see?” Ghostbur said in that poor attempt at a whisper, like that would somehow make it true, hollow, milky eyes looking at him in earnest.

Tommy had hollowly accepted it, and Ghostbur had stared at him as the blue darkened from cobalt to navy in his hand, the dye staining his fingertips. Ghostbur just kept staring, and Tommy squirmed as he realized the stupid ghost was waiting for him to talk. Tommy hadn’t, and the ghost had gotten distracted, and then he’d forgotten, until it had happened again, and Tommy decided to let him believe he could make tea and fix it.

Ranboo is there while Tubbo reads aloud his memory book, and he almost wishes he wasn’t. It’s a strange sort of pain, to hear the parts of himself he no longer keeps within him voiced by someone else, but Tubbo had said he wanted Ranboo to be there in case he got something wrong. It is a foreign, precious intimacy, and not something Tubbo takes lightly. He never hesitates except when the letters blur together and he has to restart a sentence, but he does his best to never think on the words themselves, he never questions Ranboo’s thoughts, and he promises to do his best to forget, but that doesn’t change the fact that Tubbo has read the pieces of Ranboo’s heart that he’s managed to keep ahold of.

Ranboo is grateful for when he started recording, and he’s ashamed of that relief as well. His second memory “book”, titled DO NOT PLAY, was briefly in Tubbo’s possession, and contains his worst confessions, however ashamed he is to admit it. Although, the very first page of DO NOT READ does contain an awful, important list.

Alligences

- Tommy is fine, he helped me

- Philza also helped me so i let him escape with techno as a returned favor

- Tubbo is the only one who really trusts me, which I hope continues

- Techno is alright. He is a friend of them so he is a friend of me

Ranboo had already recorded that page by the time it got to Tubbo. And Tubbo never looks back, he never looks at a page other than the ones Ranboo directs him to. Not to say these are painless. Ranboo had read the first eight pages aloud before he got unsteady, so Tubbo reads:

“Ghostbur seems nice

Still dont know where tommy is

I keep getting shot”

“Talked with tommy today.

He is not doing well.

I need to figure out how to make him well again”

And Ranboo feels guilt cut into their chest like a knife.

He reads:

“Tubbo and dream are speaking!

I hope that it is going well for tubbo”

And Ranboo feels embarrassed, ashamed by his naivete.

Tubbo reads:

“Ghostbur is nice

techno is interesting but in an okay way

Tommy says that he never wants me to show my face around there ever again but do it anyway because he is your friend

Technos house is located in the certain snow biome to the left of the village as you approach it :)”

And Ranboo reaches out, putting a hand over the page to stop him, before flipping to the back to scribble a note asking if they can stop for now. Tubbo does as he said he would, and he makes no judgements on Ranboo for what he wrote. Ranboo can’t help but wonder if he realizes that last line was written before the butcher army, if he realizes that Ranboo had withheld information. If he does, Ranboo cannot understand how he doesn’t care.

Instead, something far stranger occurs. Tubbo is quiet for a time, Ranboo putting away both the book and the recorder, and then he takes Ranboo by surprise.

“I know I said… I said I’d ignore it, I would try to forget, so I’m sorry if this breaks that rule, but… thank you.”

“What?” Ranboo exhales softly, going to his paper to write it, but Tubbo understands what he’s asking.

“You…” Tubbo sounds choked up. He stops to clear his throat. “You tried to look after him.” He doesn’t sound any steadier.

Ranboo fumbles for the page, writing messily.

I didn’t. Maybe I tried at the very start but I didn’t try hard and I didn’t look after him. Not really.

Tubbo frowns at the page, murmuring to read it aloud under his breath. “But you did, Ranboo.”

Ranboo starts to shake his head, to point to the page, but Tubbo takes his hand before he can.

“More than me,” Tubbo says softly. “You did more than me.”

Ranboo goes to write, to disagree in some way, but the words won’t come to him, not through a quill. He doesn’t know if he could say any reassurance either. So he puts it away, and he lets Tubbo hold his hand.

#my writing #benchtrio #dsmp fanfic

9 notes · View notes

skyechild · 10 months

Text

Tears covered in red

𖤐 pairing: Felix x reader (m/f)

𖤐 genre: soulmate, mafia au

𖤐 warnings: everything that goes along with mafia (ex. guns, blood, hospital setting in the first parts), language, one mention of human trafficking but just the word is said along with grooming. nothing in detail.

𖤐 wc: 7.3k

𖤐 notes: this has gotten really long for me so im thinking of making a part two. obviously it could go either way. i could make two endings.

𖤐 summary: tears covered in red can mean a lot of things, you just have to be able to decipher what it means when these intense pains and injuries appear.

𖤐 network and tag list: @cultofdionysusnet / @spooo00oky / @stravvberrymilksan /

"It hurts Hyun." You held your face in your hand, the other on your ribs, sitting on the floor of your bedroom, bent over as you sobbed. "Why does it hurt so much?" Hyunjin flailed his hands as he looked around. His soulmate mark wasnt like yours, its the only reason you were best friends, his was visible, yours wasnt. The amount of girls in school tried to pretend to have his mark made him highly trust cautious.

He ran to the kitchen, grabbing an ice pack and a hand towel to cover it before running back to you, gasping at the blood that was staining your side. "Uh, youre bleeding. I think your soulmate is injured..." You had the energy to give him a confused look. "What?"

He pressed the ice against your rib and winced as you hissed. "Im sorry N/n." He whispered before pulling his phone out to call his soulmate, you found out his name was Minho. Hyunjin's mark was a necklace of a lock that he couldnt remove. Minho having the key on his wrist.

Once he had picked up Hyunjin was frantically talking into his phone. "Help! Minho its Y/n shes bleeding and i dont know what to do!" There was rustling on the other side of the phone before Minho was yelling. "Take her to the damn hospital!" When you rapidly shook your head Hyunjin hissed. "She doesnt want to." There was the slam of a car door. "I dont give sweet fuck if she wants to or not, if you dont ill carry her ass to the hospital." You coughed, red landing on Hyunjins pants and he shrieked.

"She just coughed up blood!" Hyunjin was hysterical at this point, free hand flailing around your body. "Hyunjin listen to me. If you dont take her to the hospital." Somehow Minho was always the calm one during stressful situations, it usually made you giggle at times but this seemed to have the opposite reaction, calming you down, still coughing. Hyunjin looked at you, hearing the thinly veiled fear and threat in Minhos voice.

"Sorry but im gonna pick you up." Hyunjin spoke as he picked you up , wincing at the groan of pain you admitted. "Ill meet you at the hospital." That was the end of the call as Hyunjin ran to the car. He most likely broke a few laws as he pulled into the emergency room parking lot and carrying you into the room. "Shes hurt!" You grunted at his loud yelling, clutching to him as they tried to transfer you to a nurse.

He cooed softly, wiping your tears as he saw Minho run in. "Baby you have to let go so they can help." You started to shake your head before Minho came into view and you nodded. Minho could be scarry at times. By the time he got to your side, they had managed to peel you off of Hyunjin, who had blood on his stomach a few questions. "Are you hurt? Is she hurt?" He was in a daze as Minho answered. "Hes not hurt, she gets her soulmates injuries and wounds."

Once They had finished they both turned at the sound of the reluctant and angry yelling. "I dont need to be here! Seungmin can fix it!" There was a blonde guy followed by a guy with blue hair and Minho narrowed his eyes. He was bleeding the same place you were but didnt seem to be in as much pain as you were. He was angry. That was known.

Hyunjin takes notice of his boyfriends gaze and looks at the blonde who is being almost carried in. Looking at Minho he nods at the unspoken words. This had to be your soulmate. This was the dick that was consistently getting injured. Upon closer look he looked dangerous. There was an obvious imprint of a gun in both of their pants, hidden decently well until they lifted their arms and they got a peek. Hyunjin paled.

What the fuck was this guy doing that he had a gun?

"Felix please." The other was speaking calmly although almost literally dragging him towards the door. So the blonde was Felix. Minho took a step forward before Hyunjin grabbed his wrist, shaking his head quickly. "Y/n is more important then that douche over there." He watched as the anger slowly slipped off his face as he remembered the reason.

"We need to call her sister." Hyunjin bit his lip. Your sister made him a bit nervous. "Uhm, ok give me a moment." Hyunjin had grabbed your phone and unlocked it, its time like these he appreciates your friendship, before he slides down the contacts and stopping on your sisters contact.

"Hey little sis! Its been a while whats up?" Hearing her voice caused the nerves to kick in ten fold, causing Minho to snatch the phone. "Hello, Its Minho, Y/n's friend. We are currently at the hospital, it looks like her soulmate got badly injured so she has the same injury..." There was silence on the other end and Minho glanced at the phone, double checking to make sure the call was still ongoing. "Hello?" That seemed to snap Siyeon back into the call. "Fuck, ok what happened, what hospital?"

Minho glanced at the still struggling blonde. "Inje." There was shuffling. "Ok im on the way." Minho bit his lip. "Her soulmate is here..." Siyeon had to pause in her place before she picked up speed. "Im going to kill them." They heard the call hang up and they glanced over at the blonde, Felix. "Christopher let me go! It isnt that bad." They could tell it was a lie, his face was contorted in pain and he was bleeding, the same place as Y/n.

"Felix please, shut the fuck up." 'Christopher' seemed to yell back. "We cant be here Chris, its dangerous." They watched as nurses noticed him just outside the door. "Seungmin can only do so much, he doesnt have all the equipment for this." Felix hissed as he looked down at his ribs. "Then we will have to buy him some, we cant be at big hospitals like this."

Siyeon had just arrived once they had gotten close enough for the doors to slide open, almost knocking them over in the process, earning an angry curse. "Where is my sister?! Her names Lee Y/n. I was called and told that she was brought in." She startled the administrator who quickly looked down the computer, searching for her name. "Shes currently in surgery. Whatever happened to her soulmate is really bad." They looked up to make eye contact as Chris had managed to bring Felix in the rest of the way, muttered curses in pain and at Chris spewing from his mouth."

"Shes getting stitches and a blood transfusion." Siyeon stopped, frozen. "What do you mean blood transfusion?" Her gaze landed on Hyunjin who she recognized, his shirt and arms covered in blood. "Oh my god is that her blood?!" He nodded and Siyeon bit her lip as she grabbed him and hugged him tightly, the not yet dried blood transferring over to her shirt.

"Can you tell us as soon as she gets a room?" The nurse nodded before giving them a sympathetic smile as Siyeon waddled to the seats, still hugging Hyunjin who had broken down again once in the elders arms. "Im so sorry! I couldnt do anything, she just started bleeding, then coughing, when i came back from getting her ice theres was just blood everywhere i didnt know what to do at first." He was starting to babble, words slurred.

"Shes going to be ok." Siyeon didnt know if she was saying it for herself or for him. She stroked his hair. "We cant do much and its not good to stay here and brew in the bad feelings, plus we need to get us new shirts, hm?" Hyunjin nodded, sobs turning into sniffles as she let go of him. Minho took the others hand, holding back his own tears as they walked towards a gift shop.

It was the wrong idea.

Despite trying to avoid Felix, Siyeon caught sight of him. "Is that what her injury looks like?" She whispered, eyes locked on the blonde male. "...yes." They whispered and her fists clenched, the itch to punch him close. "He better hope she lives. Soulmates get their other halves injuries but worse." She murmured. "If my baby sister dies....hes paying for it." She bit out before shoulder checking him on the way out, an angry curse and a loud 'watch it!' following her.

It seemed the be the last string for her as she spun around, fire in her eyes as she walked closer. "You better hope my sister lives because of your dumbass! If she doesnt im killing you." She snapped. "Your dumb fucking actions causes your soulmate to get the same injuries except worse. Thats a threat." Felix huffed out a cough. "Sucks for her." The nurses managed to get him to another room before she could do anything. Siyeon rounded on the nurse. "Dont put him anywhere near my sister."

She stormed out without saying anything else, grabbing both Hyunjin and her shirts to buy and putting them on quickly. "These dumb fucking shirts, dumb fucking soulmate bonds." She mumbled before looking up at the two males, eyes softening. "Im sorry you had to see everything."

They shook their heads. "Im sure itll be ok, plus she didnt specify how much blood she lost...it could be just enough to need a transfusion." Minho calmed her down. "Lets go back to the seating area and sit down. Im pretty sure they have taken back the other guy." Siyeon took a breath before nodding, taking them up and walking back to the seating for the emergency room.

----

It had been a good few hours before they took notice of a nurse coming up to them. "Youre here for miss Y/n right?" Siyeon nodded and the nurse smiled. "The surger and transfusion was successful. But she will have to stay for a couple days for observation." There was a sigh of relief from Siyeon and Minho. Hyunjin had fallen asleep soon after they sat down. The adrenaline draining his energy once it had ended.

"If you would like, shes not conscious yet, but you can visit her." Siyeon nodded quickly as Minho woke up Hyunjin. All three following the nurse who led them out of the emergency room and towards a hall. They watched the doors before noticing your name on one of the doors. "Press the button on the remote if you need anything." Everyone nodded before filing into the room, your sister pulling up a seat to your side. "Hey baby." She whispered, hand brushing your hair back.

"Im so sorry you have a shitty soulmate." She choked out a laugh, tears starting to blur her vision. Hyunjin and Minho sat on the couch, turning on the tv to hopefully tune out, at least some, of the beeping and noises of the machines. "I wish i could fix it for you. He's here yknow? Your soulmate." She scoffed. "Hes a real dick." That brought out a snort from both boys who were listening quietly.

"His name is apparently Felix, thats what the guy he came with called him." Hyunjin spoke, moving to sit on your other side. Lowering his voice Hyunjin glanced at your sister. "They had guns Y/n. What if hes dangerous?" He bit his bottom lip, holding your hand. "I dont want you to be in danger." He whispered, holding your hand to his head and closing his eyes.

"This was the worst one so far." Minho mumbled. Usually he was the one able to patch up your wounds despite being a dance minor and majoring in being a vet. He moved to behind Hyunjin, hands on his shoulders. "Usually theyre just little cuts and scratches. Rarely on the edge of needing stitches." He sighed.

-------

The next night was when you had started gaining consciousness, hand twitching catching Minhos attention. "Y/n? Are you awake? Okay?" It caught the attention of Hyunjin who was sitting next to him. Siyeon had went to get them breakfast.

You groaned as your eyes fluttered open, hand moving to touch your side carefully before you gaze landed on Hyunjin, a dreamy smile on your face. "Its nice to know that even in the afterlife, we arent apart." Hyunjin remembered the doctor saying you might be a bit delirious from the meds.

He gave a watery smile. "You arent dead." Your gaze fell on Minho. "Hi." He whispered. "Even now, you dont leave Jinnies side." Minho chuckled softly. "Ill never leave his side. But im here for you too yknow? We are friends." You hummed quietly and Minho pressed the button to alert the doctor. "Im happy to have such pretty and loyal friends." You whispered and they smiled, giggling quietly.

There was a loud gasp and clatter as you turned to look at the door, Siyeon wide eyed and hands covering her mouth. "Oh my baby!" She cried, walking to your side and hugging you the best she could. "Shes a bit delirious from the meds like the doctors said she would be." Minho spoke.

"When did you turn your hair blue?" Siyeon smiled at your question. "Last week." You nodded, stroking her hair as she rested her head on your chest. "What happened?" Hyunjin bit his lip. "How much do you remember?" You hummed, threading your fingers through your sisters hair. "Not wanting to leave you." You furrowed your brows before nodding. "I think thats all..." Minho nodded. That was about when he saw you go limp in the nurses arms. "You dont remember me?" You shook your head slowly. "Once you let go of Jin you went unconscious." Your eyes widened.

How does Hyunjin feel?

Your gaze moved to Hyunjin who had taken Minhos spot, resting his head on the bed next to your hand. "Jinnie im so sorry." You whispered, threading your fingers in his hair as his eyes got watery. "Dont cry." You wiped his cheeks as he sniffled, letting a tear drop. "I was so scared. You needed surgery and a blood transfusion." You frowned, stroking his cheek. ""I'm ok now."

The doctor walked in, smiling when he saw the way all of them were around you. "May i take her vitals and check her over real quick?" It took a minute to pry Siyeon away from you. "Everythings looking good so far." He commented once finished. "Lets try to eat something small, how about pudding?" You nodded slightly. "We can grab you water as well."

You smiled as you turned to the others. "Y/n..." You looked at Hyunjin. "Your soumate came in a little bit after they took you back..." Your eyes widened, trying to moveto sit up more. "No dont move!" You huffed but listened. "He is?" Siyeon shrugged. "Maybe, its been a day and yknow your soulmate gets what injury and pain they have but worse." You nodded, frowning. "I dont think hes a good guy Y/n..." You looked at Hyunjin and Minho's faces, both boys' eyes not meeting yours.

"How would you know?" You wanted them to look at you. Minho sighed. "They had guns hidden in their pants." You paused, looking down as you forced yourself to sit up. "Maybe its for protection? Sanie carries." You picked at your nails. "Baby, he was aggressively trying to not come in. He was complaining about how someone named Seungmin could patch him up." You sighed.

"Y/n...you always try to find the best in people but i dont think you can in this situation. Seonghwa cant help you...hes still just a med student. Hes fucking exhausted by himself." Minho spoke, sitting on the side of the bed, placing a hand on your knee.

"I know you want him to be safe...but i dont think he is. I'm worried that once you see him the bond will kick in and you wont be able to leave his side for 48 hours. I dont want you to be in danger like that." His voice was firm but sympathetic. "You have to avoid the feeling of buzzing and go the opposite way."

You understood where your friends and sister were coming from, but that was your soulmate, werent you supposed to be with him? Maybe make him a better person. You looked up at Minho then over at Hyunjin, then your sister. "But..." They shook your head.

-----

A couple days later you were released from the hospital. Hyunjin had never left your side, Minho bringing notes from your classes. You were never alone. You were both happy, and growing annoyed by it. You wanted freedom and as much as you loved Hyunjin and your sister, you were a bit tired of them breathing down your throat. Minho tried to drag Hyunjin away sometimes.

You were thankful that Seonghwa would stop by every few days, checking up on the wounds. "I think you should get some fresh air. Alone." He gave everyone a stern look. "Just be careful ok?" You nodded. You were tempted to start carrying like San did.

Nodding again you grinned. Finally freedom. You stood up and Hyunjin huffed, not wanting to leave your side. Maybe you'd go to the mall. You got dressed, being careful with your wound as you slipped on a jacket. "I promise ill call you if i need you Jinnie." He sighed and crossed his arms, but nodded reluctantly. "Fine. Be safe." You smiled widely, tip toeing to kiss his cheek as a thank you and a sorry. "Ill see you in a few hours Jinnie." He pouted but watched as you left out the door.

You held your phone tightly, deciding against putting in your headphones in this time. You hummed a long to a song yelping as you rolled your ankle over a small crack in the sidewalk. You bit your lip, hopping a bit as you limped to the closest bench. You took a breath and pulled up your pant leg to scan the injury. The feeling of your wrist buzzing, made you tense. Your gut feeling and Minhos voice telling you to leave but your head and curiosity prevented it.

You heard the muffled curse at the same time you had rolled your ankle. "Im going to fucking lose it. Why are they so clumsy, its been a few days and despite the twinges of pain which im not sure if theyre mine or theirs. Its been nice not to feel this." You listened to the voice. It was deep and almost soothing if it wasnt threatening words you might have been falling at his knees like a lost puppy.

Your gaze was brought up when the buzzing got more aggressive. You stood up, quickly trying to walk away from where the voice was coming from. He was getting so close, Minhos words in your mind again. He has a gun Y/n. stop drooling over his voice....but its so deep and- No y/n, pull it together. Just because you have a thing for voices doesnt mean anything. You tried to convince yourself.

It seemed to be in vain when you feel a hand wrap around your wrist, the buzzing stopping at the touch. Your soulmate found you. You pulled away, hand holding the injury protectively, eyes scanning him to find the gun on his waist. They werent lying, he did have a gun. Your face paled.

"Youre lucky that i cant kill you." He hissed, pulling you into the alley. "Youre the reason i almost died? I needed a transfusion you dick." It seems that your words threw him off enough to where you could get his hand off. "Now that you touched me, if we get to far away we can slowly die." You snapped. "Im stuck being at the side of whatever the fuck you are." You reached for your phone to call Hyunjin. Why you didnt call the police first didnt pass your mind.

He snatched it from your hand, sliding it in his back pocket as he glared. "Shut the fuck up and let me talk." You went quiet, eyes wide and locked on him. Both your arms wrapped around your waist in protection. Backing up against the wall you bit your lip. "Im Felix." He spoke, body posture relaxed while yours was tense.

"I apologize that you get my wounds but worse." You glared. "What the fuck did-" He held his hand up, glaring. "Dont ask questions." You scoffed, rolling your eyes. What a prick. You think and he crosses his arms. "Do not roll your eyes at me."

"Why are you so fucking bossy?" He raises a brow. "Because i run a mafia? Why else?" You blink a few times. Its a habit you gained from Minho. Your free hand tugging at your ear lobe, fidgeting with the skin. "Mafia?" You whisper and he nods. "Does being a dick come with the job?" He paused, a smile curling his lips a bit.

"You got balls baby." You glared. "Dont call me that!" He snickered before he sighed. "Well, you might as well tell your friends or whoever that you wont be seeing them for 48 hours." You shake your head. "You can suffer for all i care. Im not staying by your side." He rose a brow. "You know youll suffer just as much." He states and your glare sharpens. "Im not going to be some eye candy or toy that you had at your disposal."

Felix nodded, understanding where you were coming from for once. "I can understand where you're coming from." He tries to sooth. Its then your head takes notice of his voice again. Its deep but smooth. It kind of makes your knees wobbly if you think about it too long. You have a fleeting thought of asking if he smokes.

Going by the proximity you toss away the thought, he doesnt smell of smoke. "I'll protect you." You frown. "What makes you think that i want your protection? I wouldnt need it if my soulmate wasnt some fucking mafia boss." A muscle in his jaw twitches, his patience running thin.

"I know this is less then ideal-" You snort, cutting him off, ignoring his glare. "Thats an understatement." He clenches his fists. "-but we have to sort this out." Your phone vibrates in your pocket and you ignore it for listening to him, staying silent. "So for now can we just, do the 48 hours then go on with our lives?"

Is he planning on just tossing you out after the time limit? You scoff. "Once these hours are over, im going back to Hyunjin and Minho." You huff. Once you find your soulmate its hard to do anything without them. You cant leave the country without them, you cant go a certain distance away. You use to love the idea of soulmates, growing up with excitement to find your soulmate and find love.

"Hyunjin and Minho?" His voice changes, taking on a slight possessive tone. "I havent even known you for an hour, you have no right to be jealous."

He broke everything you had dreamed of. Your soulmate was a criminal. A very dangerous man. And he ruined it all within an hour. Your hand rests against the injury. "Come with me, we can get coffee and talk about what to do." You rolled your eyes, deciding to comply. You followed after him as he walked towards a building, your phone now gripped tightly in your hand.

"Ill stay with you for the 48 hours. But then im leaving and i never want to see you again." You speak once you both sit down. "Ill see if theres anyway to break a bond without one of us dying." His eyes grow wide, panic and a slight tinge of hurt. "...you hate the idea of me so much that youd go that far?" His voice lowers into a whisper.

"Felix, if thats even your real name, what am i supposed to do? Live in danger if i end up loving you?" You were still on guard. "Have to be paranoid if im out alone? I just got freedom back and now im losing it once again..." You whispered, looking at him.

"You know what? I'll give you the benefit of the doubt. If you, within these 48 hours, manage to get me to somewhat care for you or something, i wont try and break the bond." He nods, listening quietly. It wasnt hard to gain your sympathy or even attention.

Felix places his hands in his lap, thinking for a moment. "I know you hate the idea of me but. I dont know you and you dont know me. How about we dont judge a book by its cover?" You tensed. Your mom always said that.

"Fine. We can try to restart." You sat up straight, a strained smile on your lips. "Hi, nice to finally meet you soulmate. You gave my quite an...injury...last week." You took a breath. "Im Y/n. I hope we can start as friends and see if anything happens."

Felix looks at you with shock before he scrambling a bit to gather himself. "Hello. Im Felix. Its nice to meet you and im sorry about that." He holds out a hand and you meet it in the middle, a soft smile pulling at your lips. His hand is smaller then you thought and surprisingly soft for someone who uses a gun often. (You assume that.)

If you didnt know about his line of work, you mightve fell in love. Hes pretty, almost pixie like. Blonde hair and what looks like freckles across his nose and cheeks, his features fit his face and his eyes are sharp. He was all hard lines and tensed muscles when you were outside, now he seems to have softened a bit, no mare hard lines at the moment.

You embrace the warmth his hand gives before taking your hand away. "So it seems like we will be stuck together for 48 hours. I hope you arent busy." You watch as Felix hesitates before shaking his head. "Not anymore." He hums after. "Would you like to come to my place? I have somewhere else we could stay."

He was planning on taking you to a safe house anyway. Away from enemy eyes. You nod and stand up, shooting a quick text to Hyunjin about whats going on, wincing at the flurry of texts that come quickly after. Theyre from everyone that you were with. Even a text from Seonghwa comes in, reminding you to be careful. You werent sure if he was talking about your injury or the person youre with.

You smile softly at your phone. You wouldve loved being Seonghwas soulmate, or even any of his friends. Looking up at Felix you find him watching you and you struggle to not twist your face into something horrible. He looks curious. "I told my friends and sister that i have to stay with you because some-" You take a breath. Treat him like a normal person, try to think of him as just a pretty man youve figured out is your soulmate. You got this.

"Because we had contact. Im excited to get to know you." You have to force the words out but them come anyway. Felix feels the smallest bit bad. Your reflex is obviously fight instead of flight. While he appreciates that, it might affect you in the future if you do end up by his side. He will have to get you into some self defence training with Chan.

He smiles, it looks natural and you hate how just a regular smile lights his whole face up. Makes him look so innocent and sweet. "We can go." You scan his face. "I hope its ok that i had my friend grab you some clothes...we only have hoodies and sweats that will probably be too big..." Your eyebrow twitches but you nod. "Thats ok!"

When he walks out with you theres a car that stops infront of you. the windows are almost blacked out so you cant see inside but Felix nudges you towards the door. "This is Chan. Hes gonna take us to my place." You nod. "Nice to meet you Chan." He nods back. "Im Y/n." He cracks a smile. He cant let you know he already knows everything about you. From your birth to the current day.

"Likewise." He returns. "Man of a few words? Thats probably nice sometimes." He chuckles lightly as he flicks a glance at you from the rearview mirror before taking off towards a safe house. "Jeongin is finished. Place is stocked." He says towards Felix who nods, relaxing back against the chair and closing his eyes.

It goes quiet and you can feel the medicine for your injury wearing off, it causes you to cringe. Chan's eyes flicking towards yours in the mirror before they glanced at Felix. Having a wordless conversation before Felix turned his gaze towards you. "Do you need pain meds?" You had to take breath, trying not to shoot him a glare but youre sure it a bit sharp deadpanned stare. "Yes." Your voice was curt but you can blame it on the pain this time.

"I'll get our doctor to get something for you." You shook your head. "I can just text Seonghwa." He shook his head. "He cant know anything." You bit back a curse. "He doesnt. He just knows everything and would save you time." He huffed. "You dont trust my doctor?" You shook your head. "Felix, i dont even trust you, how can i trust any of your people?" He looked out the window.

You had a point and he didnt want to admit it. Hell, he didnt trust you so why would he trust your friends. "Can he send you the dosage and name?" You huffed. "Ill see if he can." You keep a hand on your rib while the silence felt like it got louder. "What were you even doing to get this bad of a wound." You mumbled, more to yourself as he pulled your hand away, making sure the warmth wasnt from blood and just from the temperature of your skin.

"I heard my sister gave you some threats." Did you want to apologize? Fuck no. "Careful she might make due." You spoke, turning to look at him, humming quietly as he met your eyes. "She did. I dont blame her, it seems you almost died because of me." You hummed silently. "I needed blood transfusions and Hyunjin was covered in my blood." You huffed before the car pulled into a garage. "I see..." He trailed off as Chan parked.

"Why did i have to be the one who got the bad side of the pain." You mumbled as Chan got out and opened your door. "Are you able to walk?" You hesitated before you took his help to get out and stand up. He kept you stable as Felix watched. He gave you a few steps to test. "My rib hurts but i think its possible to walk." He nodded, letting go of you slowly as Felix huffed to himself and walking off towards the elevator.

The elevator reminded you of the one in Willy Wonka's factory. As soon as you and Chan had joined him. The other walking behind you just incase. You leaved against the wall. It was nice and cold. The comfort only lasted before the elevator shot to the right, feeling like it was going by a few blocks before slamming to a stop.

You were going to get flung around if Chan had not caught you and held you to his side. How these two werent stumbling around like you was a bit confusing. The elevator shot up, leaving your stomach down at the bottom. You groaned in pain. "Was there a less painful way to get to this place?" You looked towards Chan who had a look of sympathy on his face.

Felix shook his head. "No." You frowned, glancing towards him before nodding, leaning against Chan's chest. Maybe you werent ready to walk by yourself. Chan kept you still as the elevator slowed to a stop, a soft ding ringing out as the doors open. As if it hadnt left you stomach back at the beginning. You walked out on wobbly stops, knees giving out onto soft carpet. "I feel like im going to vomit." You breathed.

Felix walked towards you, sighing as he placed a hand on your head. "Im sorry about the elevator." He sounded sincere even when you glared him. "Ill see if Jisung can do something about it. It is pretty aggressive." You rested your forehead against the ground. "I feel horrible. " Felix sighed lightly. "The place should be stocked, do you want to eat?" You glanced up at him as you laid on your back. "I can cook."

He frowned. "Why cant i cook for you?" Chan snickered softly as he helped you up. "You like to use too much butter one cooking. Stick to baking." You rose a brow. "You bake?" He nodded, standing up and walking with the both of you as he placed you in a chair, handing you your phone. "Can you text your friend to ask?" You nodded, quickly texting Seonghwa.

"Im too tired for this." You mumbled as your phone vibrated with the answer, relaying the information you smiled at the text that came in. A sad face from Hyunjin along with a 'i miss you.' and your gaze softened. Replying back with the same emoji and 'i miss you too.' You smiled at your phone, the fondness in your grin making Felix sneer slightly as he stormed into the kitchen.

Turning to Chan you tapped his hand. "Will i be able to talk to my friends? Like, on call and video calls?" You watched as he nodded. "Yeah, youre safe here. If anything is wrong, come find me yeah?" You nodded, smiling lightly.

Maybe if this man was your soulmate youd stay. But your actual soulmate and all but stormed to the kitchen. You frowned. "I have to make a call to our doctor for your meds, please excuse me. Feel free to wander." You nodded as he got up to leave.

Getting up you held your stomach. You couldnt decide if your stomach or rib hurt more. You wobbled into the kitchen to see Felix riffling through the fridge. "...are you hungry Felix?" You know he heard you coming. "...a bit. I havent eaten today." You nodded, nudging him out of the way as you grabbed a few items. "Go sit down, ill make kimchi jjigae for us." You watched as he nodded.

"Once Seungmin gets here hes going to give you a quick look over then give you the meds." You nodded at his words. "Hopefully today wasnt too straining on your wound." You turned to look at him before grabbing rice cakes out of the freezer when you found them.

"Last time i checked it wasnt bleeding but it hurts a lot." You admitted and Felix sat on a stool at the island, watching as you cooked. Once Chan came into the kitchen he smiled. "What are you making?" You smiled at him, not noticing Felix's glare. "Kimchi jjigae and im making tteokbokki on the side."

"You just met Chan, youve known him barely as much as me but you're already smiling at him?" Felix couldnt help the slight bitterness to his tone. His gaze fell on you then Chan. "Contrary to popular belief Felix. He gives warm vibes and seems like someone who would actually protect me and not dragging me places." Chan hummed. "Maybe dropping your dick like behavior in front of others, especially your soulmate..." He emphasized the word. "...you would get along better."

Felix narrowed his eyes, opening his mouth before closing his mouth as the elevator opened, a shorter boy with orange hair being revealed as the doors opened. "Seungmin." Felix greeted and you visibly perked up. Seungmin meant medicine, medicine meant dulled or no pain for a few hours.

"Seungmin, youre the doctor? You have medicine for me?" You smiled softly as he nodded. "I need to give you a check up first. I know your friend already did one, but im a different doctor, you know how that is." You nodded, stepping away from the food, turning the heat down so it wouldnt burn.

Turning you walked towards the other male, bowing slightly. "Hello, im Y/n." He nodded. "Seungmin, and i know who you are, youre our boss' soulmate." You poked your cheek with your tongue. "I'd rather not." He chuckled, nodding as he let you into a spare room. "So how has it been?"

You sigh, sitting down on the table as your head fell back. "Well this injury..." He motioned you to remove your shirt and you did so after a bit of hesitation. "Was his fault. I get the shorter end of the stick and whatever injury or pain he has, is doubled for me." Seungmin winced as he scooted closer on his chair.

"Im sorry, that sucks." His words are genuine and you rubbed your eyes. "Yeah, apparently i was in surgery for a few hours and had to get blood transfusions." His eyes flicked up to yours as he started to unwrap the bandage around your mid section. "Let me know if it hurts." You nod. While you had a high pain tolerance, it felt non existent at the moment. "I think the meds wore off because the pain and ache is back." He nods, checking the injury carefully.

He grabbed a few items and cleaned around it. "Til it gets a better we are going to have to keep it bandaged. I was thinking about second skin but not with stitches." You nod, understanding. "Man that is bad, what did he do?" He mumbled, more to himself. "Doesnt look like a bullet wound. Did he get fucking stabbed or something?" He sounded mad and you smiled softly. "Are you going to yell at him?" He looked at at you before chuckling as he wrapped gauzed around your mid section again.

"Maybe." You nodded. "He needs to be more careful since he knows you get it worse." You sighed. "Y/n, i promise hes not as bad as he seems." You shook your head, looking down at the floor. "He has 48 hours to try and make me change my mind before going to get the bond broken."

Seungmin's mouth drops, shock on his features. "Really?" You nodded. "Isnt that a bit much?" You shrugged as your eyes counted the tiles. "I use to want a soulmate since i was little. They sounded so cool, my parents bond was puzzle pieces." He smiled unconsciously. "My sisters is constellations. That one is incredible." The smile on your face slowly disappeared. "But then i got stuck with this one. You get your soulmates pain but times two." You bit your lip.

"Did you know, my friends and sister met him while i was in the hospital?" He listened carefully, sitting back on the chair. "She told me she threatened him." You giggled softly. "This was the first time ive ever thought about breaking my bond." You clenched your fist, digging your nails into your palms.

Felix felt the pain in his palm, frowning softly. The imprint of fingernails appearing as he sighed. While he got the dulled pain side, you got the worse side. He did feel the slightest bit bad.

"What if you cant break it?" Your gaze snapped up back to Seungmin. "What?" He crossed his arms. "Ive never thought about that. I've heard of a few people breaking their bonds but it never ended well. It ended up with one losing all feelings." You locked eyes with him. "You could see if you could possibly get a new one?" You looked down, taking in his words.

"I've never heard of that..." Seungmin shrugged. "It's a bit hush hush right now. The government is trying to see if the ones that break their bonds could possible be paired up with someone else who broke theirs." Your eyes widened. "Do you work with the government?!" He nodded. "But im more of a mole for Skz." You rose a brow. "Thats the name of our mafia." You nodded.

"I'll think about it. Especially if Felix doesnt succeed." He nodded before standing up and helping you down before letting you leave first after giving you some medicine. "Youre a life saver Seungmin." You whispered, exchanging a smile with him as he left. You walked back to the kitchen, the idea swirling in your head. They were seeing if it was possible to change soulmates? Does that mean changed marks? You sighed to yourself, starting back on cooking the food.

Once finished you served some to Felix and Chan, a weak smile at them both. "Where will i be sleeping?" Felix hummed, scanning your figure. "Theres a room thats next to mine, that will be yours." You nodded, sitting across and down from both males, going quiet, head swimming with thoughts. You started eating, not noticing the glances and whispered words between the two boys.

You sighed quietly, gaining the attention of them. "Have you heard of getting a new soulmate if you break your original one?" Felix held back his anger. "You cant let that go? Even for a moment?" You looked up at him, anger in your eyes. "Being your soulmate could kill me Felix. "I have friends i love, i have a sister and parents i love. Im not going to give that up for my soulmate." You stood up. "Im done." You spoke, placing your empty bowl and plate in the sink.

"Im not ok being the soulmate of someone who is so dangerous and obviously gets hurt often. My body can only take so much before it starts giving up." You spoke, looking at both males with watery eyes. "You might be ok with all of this. But im not. Youre not the one the short end of the stick." You turn to face them. "To make it even better, im stuck here for 48 hours with nothing to do, i cant see my friends, cant see my sister." Theyre quiet for a moment.

"Theres a tv in every room-." You cut off Chan. "That doesnt do anything Chan! Am i supposed to sit and watch tv for 48 hours?" He sighed. "Youre supposed to be getting to know each other." You wanted to reply, yell back and curse at them. But you knew Chan would do whatever to get you to at least talk to Felix.

"I know you dont have the best image of Felix right now, or any of us. But give him a chance?" You looked at Chan for a moment. "Theres so many restrictions if we dont break the bond. One of us cant leave the country, we can only be so many hours apart and more on top of that." You sighed, sitting back down right infront of Felix. "So talk. I said id give you 48 hours." Felix sighed before nodding.

He talked, for hours. His hobbies, his team and friends. Hoe he had siblings and how he missed them. He talked about some of his past and how he grew up, talked about how he got into this. You learned this group tried to prevent drug trades, stop human trafficking and grooming. You looked down at the table. He told you everything they did and stood for.

It aligned with what you stood for.

#stray kids imagine #lee felix imagine #skyechilds work #cultofdionysusnet

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