wrathbites

[wrathbites]

Batcourt

Tim is sick of his family fighting, an occurrence which doesn’t always but enough times has nearly led to murder, that he devises a new method to deal with them and their petty (or serious, but usually petty) arguments: Batcourt

The first ever batcourt trial was to mediate an argument between Dick and Bruce, bc when Tim became Robin they were on the outs; Dick had moved out and was rebelling against his dad. They barely talked to each other, and when they did it was to argue.

Tim, being in the middle of all that, finally snaps and basically strong arms them into a impromptu “court session”, bc if they can’t be civil with each other in conversation they maybe they can at least be professional in this Thought Exercise.

He appoints Alfred as the unbiased jury, and then demands that both Bruce and Dick take five minutes to compile their cases against each other to present to the judge (Tim).

Both Bruce and Dick are incredibly unamused, but Tim has Alfred’s support, so they reluctantly go along with the charade. And…

It’s actually surprisingly effective.

The argument is hashed out without anyone coming to blows or a screaming match. They are all very mature about it and the argument is settled with both parties, if not happy, then mollified that they actually got to speak their parts and come to a conclusion that wasn’t unfair.

Alfred is very pleased with the results of the first batcourt trial, and give his blessing for this method to be used in the future.

And so it is. Tim is typically the Judge, as he is the mastermind behind the method and typically stays out of all arguments as much as he can, and is known to everyone to be extremely impartial when the others argue about anything. So 9 times out of 10, Tim’s judge, and uses a generating software program he developed and installed on his gauntlet (and civvy watch) to choose a jury to preside over a trial when one of the family members opens a case against someone else.

This eventually becomes just how the family resolves disputes.

If an argument comes forth and is starting to get too heated, whoever declares that they’d ‘like to submit a case to the batcourt’ is by default the prosecution, leaving the other party as defendant (these are just terms, this isn’t actually a court of law, this is just a method of resolving arguments, so both sides are heard). At this point, everyone usually turns to Tim, who appoints a jury and then tells the pros and def that they have five minute to compile and submit their evidence to the court.

It’s all very official, and the Rules of Batcourt is that everyone has to remain absolutely professional as if this were a real court case. This is to ensure nobody breaks the exercise, otherwise it won’t work.

Anyway it’s VERY effective, and is used for years in private.

Until a pair of them have an argument in the middle of an op in public and it’s getting in the way of taking out the villain…. So someone declares that they’d like to submit a case to the batcourt.

Of course any non-bat present is like “the what”

But all the bats present, being so used to using the batcourt method to hash out disagreements, automatically turn to Tim (in the insert fanfic I was daydreaming this up for, he isn’t Robin but called Shrike, but O digress).

Anyway, Tim, by habit, immediately runs the jury program and appoints Spoiler and Black Bat as jury (the argument was between Red Hood and Nightwing, with Red Hood submitting the case and therefore the prosecution).

The rogue they were fighting (let’s choose a nicer one, Riddler maybe) is so confused at this point that they kind of stop in the middle of their scheme just to watch the the fuck is going on.

The bystander civilians and any reporters are also like “???” And so basically they all get to watch the first ever public batcourt trial.

(The jury ends up voting in favor of Red Hood, so Tim declares that Nightwing is Guilty “by the power vested in my by the Batclan” and Nightwing is sentenced to Apologizing to Red Hood - since the argument started because Nightwing wouldn’t get the fuck out of RH’s way and he kept almost shooting him lmao, it just went downhill from there. Brothers amirite.)

Anyway the video goes viral immediately, the Gotham internet going insane over the concept of how the vigilantes apparently resolve their arguments.

The riddler is so fascinated by what he just witnessed that he just accepts being taken back to jail for the meantime to mull things over (I love Eddie)

Now that the bat is out of the bag (lol), so to speak, the Batclan submits cases to batcourt in public a few more times without thinking, and the public is very excited every time. Every case and verdict shows up in the next day’s paper, and it’s a Gotham Highlight. People love it.

And then it escapes containment. Because one day a rogue loudly declares that they would like to submit a case to the batcourt. Against Batman.

The present Batclan members all look at each other, and then to Tim, who is already running the jury appointment program without even thinking. It ends up choosing Riddler (who was also there) along with two civilians and a bat (Robin).

Tim blinks, then shrugs, and lets it happen.

So starts the Batcourt trial of the decade: Batman V Poison Ivy.

And Batman loses.

Ivy still goes to jail afterwards, being a criminal and all, but she does so victoriously. She has mad street cred after this. The public goes WILD.

Anyway what I am saying is that batcourt is a highly respected court of dispute in Gotham. The majority of trials are conducted between Batclan members, but there are rogues who have won (and lost) trials in batcourt, and even one very infamous instant where the GCPD submitted a case against Red Hood and subsequently lost when the mostly civilian jury declared him Innocent.

The police force having to then apologize to Red Hood made headlines so big that they broke Gotham City containment and made it into the outside world.

Which leads to the next famous batcourt case: Superman V Batman.

I have been thinking about this concept for weeks and it’s definitely going to be a running gag in all my batfam fics forever

Also we get to have this fun interaction

“Batcourt is now in session”

Batman: please don’t call it that

Tim: ahem

Batman, sighing: objection

Every single one of his kids, pointing at him like in ace attorney: overruled

[wrathbites]

I'm blaming @hijennyt for this particular existential crisis I had at around midnight last night

[wrathbites]

I wrote a silly little ficlet for that game I like

https://archiveofourown.org/works/63424138/

[wrathbites]

Don't mind me, just a random mental image.

Spite: ROOK. WE ARE UNDER. ATTACK.

Rook with a dagger in hand already: where

Spite: EVERYWHERE

Lucanis: ignore him. It's his first introduction to the common cold.

Spite: IT IS HELL. H E L L. ROOK. DO SOMETHING.

And what follows is some back and forth between Lucanis and Rook regarding medicine. Lucanis refuses. Rook threatens to drag his sorry ass to Viago.

As if Viago will help. Rook getting up close and personal to state ever so softly "he will if he knows what's good for him."

Lucanis very clearly seeing this is Not A Bluff. Fine. Fine, he'll take the damn medicine.

It makes him drowsy. It also makes Spite drowsy.

Spite, who drapes over Rook like a particularly comfortable cat and grumbles the entire time about the body trying to kill them both. This was never discussed. How do mortals live like this? Terrible conditions, poor body design, absolutely would not recommend.

Rook quietly finding this equal parts amusing and adorable.

[wrathbites]

Playing Eternal Strands and just met Arekim and HELLO 👀

[wrathbites]

by thirsty demand, lucanis' catsuit teia's armour for lucanis is now an available mod!

also available in the original tint

[wrathbites]

who put all these dramatic bitches in the same room

[wrathbites]

My WIPs are writing only at the moment, and this is the most recent progress I've made with a fic focusing on a developing friendship with Spite ouo

(Or perhaps that was simply the dwarf woman's — Harding's — habit, wary still of the pantry's occupants, unaware of its limited range from Lucanis' body and blind to its eyes on her whenever she came looking for tea) This will do nicely, it thinks, and leads Rook right back to the fire, hands to her shoulders — she stills at the touch but there's no recoil, curious, interesting, intriguing — to back-step her into the radius of its warmth. "Spite?" "Wait," it says, pointing to her left, "watch." Comfort. Support. Cushioning. Velvet softness. Space to stretch, sprawl, but only for one. A place to relax. The Fade stirs to its whim, hears the thought within and spins it outwith, the faintest echo of home, not quite right and not quite wrong and the difference itches the length of its hidden wings. The answer to its demand should be immediate, the shape and bend to its will absolute, not this sluggish and imperfect thing, but Spite will take what it can get. Grits its teeth and bears down on want, on need, and before their eyes an object pushes up from the floor, bare wood bones and tall-backed spine, plush skin stitching across stuffing. The flush of colour comes last, so pale a red it could be pink and that's... better, perhaps, than anything resembling blood. "How did you do that?" Rook gasps, curious hands slapping all over the manifested chair. A mistake on her part, to present her back so completely unguarded to one housed in a fellow assassin, but Lucanis still slumbers and Spite — has no desire for violence. None. Not even an ember. She turns to it in its silence and it shrugs the shoulders, clasps the hands behind its back. "We linger. The Fade answers."

Hello, it’s WIP Wednesday Thursday, again! The confusingly named game where you:

Reblog this post with a snippet of whatever you’re working on (art, writing, music, crafts, whatever!) and I encourage you and comment briefly !

It doesn’t need to be Dragon Age! You can do whatever !

Because it is weekly, I won’t really be reblogging after Thursday is over, but you can still add stuff, if you want!

If you are looking for comments on/promotion of work that is currently being published, I do that on Bio(ware)feedback days! The next one is 2/8/2025!

Thanks for sharing your work, and have a great day!

[wrathbites]

for the wip game, intrigued by Soul Shell.

From here :)

"Soul Shell" is the working title of how Spite views the body of its host at any given time. One could argue the term should be spirit shell, but Spite's not one for entertaining that kind of debate (boring).

The basic gist of the idea is that it's a reality in which Lucanis dies at endgame, leaving the "shell" entirely vacant for Spite to control. And Spite would - except there's an expectation that Lucanis' body will be cremated, leaving it with nowhere to go at all and no way to keep its promise to him in his final moments.

Enter Mewyn - reeling just as Spite is from the loss, who loves (loved) Lucanis as fiercely as Spite does (did), screaming and grieving and angry, so very angry. The world is still crumbling and an unstable mage is a beacon for demons and she's alive, Spite's alive, and Lucanis isn't and they don't have time -

And she touches her forehead to his-theirs-its and cups the still face between her hands and whispers for only Spite to hear.

"I can't lose you both. If you agree, we walk out of here and we make them suffer and we bleed them dry. We kill them. We survive this, we remember him, we live. If you're willing, I welcome you, Spite."

And Spite accepts, slips ever so carefully into its new shell.

Because its last promise to Lucanis was to keep their Rook safe.

But it's... difficult for me to write. I want to do it, but delving into love and death walking hand in hand is... a heavy pain for me to visit. Raw, still. So it'll be slow going, and only touched upon every so often. I don't know if I'll share the finished piece when it's done - but. We'll see.

[wrathbites]

Ooh Me and the Devil for the WIP ask game?

From here :)

"Me and the Devil" is the working title for the oneshot I'm working on for Lucanis' time in the Ossuary post-fusion with Spite. It's not an easy ride for either of them (and hasn't been for Lucanis up until that point).

Current content is subject to change, but here's a snippet:

The thing inside him stretches, further and further and further still until something inside must surely break, bend, buckle. It hooks him up by the gut, arching his spine and flexing his fingers, his toes, pulling his head so far back he can't swallow or scream or breathe - Stop, he says, gasps, wheezes. He won't beg, not now and not ever, not for this thing or Zara or any other. He won't, but it will kill him if it continues - And he so desperately wants to live. It swivels like the flip-flop swoop of nerves in the stomach, an awareness creeping out like darkness slinks in in those scant moments before a faint. Lucanis blinks one-two-three and everything is tinged purple - the cell and his skin and his fingers curling over the edge of his cot (too long, all joints, nails gone curved and sharp). The violet eyes gleaming at him from the shadows underneath, two and four and six fixed in a stare. He freezes. W h y? it asks from within, a dozen voices plucked from his memories and layered in echoes upon his ears, a darker rasp tucked in the depths. Why? W h y. S t o p? Y o u. D o. N o t.

[wrathbites]

Thinking about the Lighthouse wisps and them being helpful as well as up to mischief.

Emmrich: fitting themselves around the edges of whatever book he's reading when candles burn low, so he still has light to read by without using his own magic reserves. For mischief - yeeting said book across (or up) his study.

Manfred: knocking books Manfred's after from higher shelves so he doesn't have to clatter up a ladder, and tinkle-chirping from the general location of whatever other bits and bobs Manfred's looking for. For mischief - hiding said items or zipping off with Manfred's scarf or a glove, and it winds up a merry game of chase down the wisp.

Harding: nudging around pots so plants have all around light exposure, reducing the risk of leaf damage (let nature work alongside magic), or helping her gather up seeds that've accidentally been scattered into every Maker-damned nook and cranny. Diving in and out of soil when she's repotting to make holes and divots for her to work with. For mischief - doing this with Harding in range so there's clumps of soil and fertiliser in her hair and on her clothes, and knocking over watering cans (but not onto the plants!)

Bellara: relocating her quill whenever she misplaces it, chiming over the inkpot when she's running low during a writing session, and nudging over the next ingredient she needs when it's her turn to cook. For mischief - doodling on her face with the ink when she's sleeping, and swapping out seasonings when she's not paying attention (sugar for salt, pepper for paprika, etc)

Neve: bundling her notes back up into their proper order whenever they're knocked over, chiming over particular bits of paper to draw Neve's attention to the scribbles, and sure enough it's what she needed to spark a theory from where she's vocalised being stuck. For mischief - stealing absolutely anything not nailed down in her room. Especially her hats.

Davrin: playing with Assan and distracting him while Davrin's carving. Kicking up little whirlwinds of the wood shavings from his work, and by the time he's done there's no cleanup to be had because they've been swept out as the wisps have teased Assan into open air for some flying. For mischief - nug carving treasure hunt around the Lighthouse. And the DA equivalent of laser pointers for griffons, so Assan pounces on Davrin whenever he's daft enough to nap in his chair.

Lucanis: Spite is somewhat territorial of his Crow and their space so the wisps can't be directly helpful while they're around, but whenever Lucanis returns from an outing his yarn stash is always reorganised from the chaos Spite left it in (they know better than to interfere with anything involving an assassin's weapons, so they stick to the yarn). For mischief - playing tag with Spite around the pantry and leaving a trap somewhere, without fail, to keep Lucanis on his toes. Otherwise there's an entire bag of flour to be upended on his head (his coffee!)

Taash: the wisps learn Taash's exercise routines and become their own personal cheer squad to push for one more rep, and one more, last one! Their routine with the arm ropes, the armour, the LoF jewellery and regalia and lifting every second or third piece for Taash, in the correct order. Trailing cloth and straw and string in the air to create moving objects for Taash to practise their fire breathing on. For mischief - they can't carry a full watering can but they can carry little clay pots and bowls, and so the fire Taash has scattered around, they extinguish, and Taash relights, and they extinguish, back and forth and back and forth (until Taash isn't upset anymore, they're either a bit grumpy or laughing as they chase the wisps away)

For everyone: elfroot and potions being brought to them when needed.

[wrathbites]

Okay but like. Hear me out a sec.

The "dexterity training" is a valid reason for Lucanis knitting but what if it's a defensive justification he came up with for something he enjoys doing with his hands that... doesn't really... "contribute" to his standing as a Crow. It doesn't outright benefit him on a contract, it's "just a hobby".

But it's something he does, for him, and he'll be damned if he allows anyone to pry it from him.

[wrathbites]

I'll play Veilguard, I said.

I'll resume writing this year, I said.

I'll make it a goal to read one book every 1-2 months, I said.

And then crochet hit me over the head again.

With lace weight yarn. A first, for me.

I've fallen down the rabbit hole, so see you next year, I guess 🤣

[wrathbites]

Dunno if someone's made a post about this already but the absolute hilarity of a de Riva Rook (Lucanismancer) frequenting the Cantori Diamond with Davrin and Lucanis in tow.

Viago twitching every time he sees the Grey Warden armour and eventually tugging Rook aside to have a word with them. One House has already disgraced itself over a dalliance between assassin and Warden, history better not repeat itself with the de Rivas -.-*

Rook just blinking back at him with the expression equivalent of huh?

What is he talking about? They've genuinely had Davrin around so frequently because nobody else aside from Lucanis is free?? What???

Meanwhile Teia's cracking up in the background because she's clocked already that it isn't Davrin he needs to worry about. It's Lucanis.

Sometime later, when Viago is made aware of this, he loses a vial to the floor when it slips from fingers gone numb with surprise. W H A T???

[wrathbites]

fucked up hurt/comfort. the person who stabbed you tends to your wound. the person who killed your loved one helps you grieve.

[wrathbites]

soooooo i accidentally got lucanis killed trying to trigger new dialogue but i guess you could say i got a bunch of new dialogue anyway :')

[wrathbites]

Why can I not kiss my man whenever I please? Why BioWare?