wtf-are-you-a-bard - Tumblr blog

[wtf-are-you-a-bard]

A Geisha (or geisha expy) would make a good backstory for a bard, tbh

[wtf-are-you-a-bard]

gnomes are just cuter, fancier elves. @jabletown

(an edit we all needed in our lives of this iconic interaction)

[wtf-are-you-a-bard]

I pass one of my players a folded note. She reads it. Her eyebrows raise, and her peers heckle her, trying to take the paper from her. She insists it is nothing. The gnome is now cursing. My player curses back. The fighter calls her a traitor and declares an Insight check. I allow it. My player attempts a Deception check. I allow it. It is a dead tie. The table erupts in hoarse accusations. The note falls to the ground, forgotten. It says: “Read this; raise your eyebrows; say nothing to the others; and I will give you a +3 longsword.” I lean back behind my DM screen and watch the fireworks implode. This is my design.

[wtf-are-you-a-bard]

A very tired stressed Essek getting a message from Da’leth in the middle of the night ‘The blue one has learned the Never Ending Song in Zemnian, and has caused the loss of several weeks of research. Please stop her.’ Essek blinking into the middle distance before responding ‘I do not have any control over Jester please do not contact me about this again.’ Letting the magic end before turning to Jester and asking if she wants to learn it in Undercommon.

[wtf-are-you-a-bard]

saw this and had to 

[wtf-are-you-a-bard]

I’ve been meaning to draw some Xhorhasian clothing and then…… I had too much fun ♥

Also -  I am so upset that we’ve been denied the flirtatious warfare between these two it would have been G L O R I O U S

[wtf-are-you-a-bard]

You’ve heard of mlm/wlw solidarity now get ready for: the opposite of that

(part II)

[wtf-are-you-a-bard]

As a DM I would allow this, but only if they do a full ceremony with cake afterwards

[wtf-are-you-a-bard]

popular in the afterlife

[wtf-are-you-a-bard]

I offer no explanations or excuses.

[wtf-are-you-a-bard]

Best things about the CR cast:

- When Liam feels any emotion and CHUCKS his glasses across the table

- When one of Sam’s ads actually breaks Taliesin and he just collapses at the table

- When they manage to surprise Matt so bad he goes “Shit, okay”

- Ashley’s “okay okay okay” as she tries to calm herself down and decide what to do

- When Travis figures out a reveal before everyone else and starts pointing wildly

- The fact that Marisha and Matt go get Taco Bell together after stressful episodes

- When BWF and Tal start reminiscing about incredibly specific and NSFW experiences they’ve had in LA.

- When they get an important piece of paper and Laura scrambles to find her glasses

- “I can’t do (totally plausible thing), can I?” -Sam

- When Liam refuses to say an NPC’s name right and Travis is forced to beg Matt for their lives

- When Marisha got the morning after letter from Keg, and launched herself into another dimsension.

- When Laura and Sam start drawing dirty pictures and giggle like school children

- When Matt brings out a map and they all give the most excited and encouraging comments to him about how cool it looks

- Ashley’s little :-0 face whenever a plot point she missed comes up in a game and she thinks it’s cool

- When Taliesin refuses to not be hopelessly bisexual, supremely goth, and horny on main

- When Marisha tries to do some weird monk shit and gives Matt a goofy smile, like she’s trying to charm the dice into cooperation

- When Sam drunk-cried on AWNP because he loves his family and friends so much

- Whenever Matt checks in with everyone to make sure they’re still having fun with such earnestness in his voice

- When Tal and Travis are on talks together and look like a weird high school couple with an awkward size difference

PLEASE add more.

[wtf-are-you-a-bard]

As every episode passes I’m more and more struck by how Caleb and Fjord are both really dangerous and probably shouldn’t have a leadership position like they sort of have had so far. And as every episode passes i’m more and more certain that the person who should really be leading is none other than Beauregard “Beau” Lionette, monk of my heart.

[wtf-are-you-a-bard]

An hour and half into The Night Before Critmas and Travis is already trying to overthrow The Boss and this is why I don’t trust any character he makes with an intelligence above 6

[wtf-are-you-a-bard]

i choose to believe that Caleb Widogast does not carry around a bag for spellcasting materials, but instead uses his coat as a giant, super-comfy and very worn-down component pouch

[wtf-are-you-a-bard]

If @brianwfoster ever needs to rebrand #TalksMachina, I think I have a suggestion…

[wtf-are-you-a-bard]

Vox Machina Family Game Night Cursed Ideas:

Vex saw a youtube video of some guys playing Monopoly for real money, and now she wants to try it too (Vax: we are piss poor college students, I can promise you we don’t have 15 grand between us. Percy & Tary: exist. Vax: fuck)

Strip anything and everything. Strip Uno? done it. Strip Pictionary? done it. Strip Twister? done it (not all it’s cracked up to be). always playing one short bc the twins Refuse to be in a room together if one of them might end up naked

Keyleth can and will turn anything into a drinking game. everyone is usually happy to play along until the Sandkeg wine comes out

there’s been a perma-ban on Never Have I Ever… since Percy and Vex started dating

Scanlan nearly lost a hand playing Pin the Tail on Trinket, a game he invented while extremely intoxicated. everyone only agreed to play because Vex was asleep (in all fairness, Percy and Pike knew exactly what would happen, and just let nature take its course)

feel free to reblog & add your own

[wtf-are-you-a-bard]

When CR is stalking you even in other comics (Rat Queens, issue 16)