wutsetien

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Stop performing and start living.

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Poor women and women of Color know there is a difference between the daily manifestations of marital slavery and prostitution because it is our daughters who line 42nd Street. If white American feminist theory need not deal with the differences between us, and the resulting difference in our oppressions, then how do you deal with the fact that the women who clean your houses and tend your children while you attend conferences on feminist theory are, for the most part, poor women and women of Color?

Audre Lorde (emphasis added)

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wait i'm literally living the life my female ancestors dreamed of i can't waste it

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Thinking about Palestine, thinking about how the Supreme Court ordered Congress to pay the Sioux Nation for taking the Black Hills without just compensation. Thinking about how the Nation never accepted the compensation even though it's now worth over $1 billion because doing so would mean giving up its legal claim to the Black Hills. Thinking about my own relationship to land...and the law.....

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Obviously I buy into this too to sometimes, but I think the oddest thing about colonization is just...the commodification of "views?" Not to say that people in England or Germany don't appreciate viewing beautiful scenery either (see: Pride and Prejudice) but like...thinking of the ability to view a certain geographic landscape as something to buy? And not seeing yourself as inextricably tied to that landscape, but rather as something outside of it? Big colonizer vibes. Same thing with hiking trails and national parks. It's actually so perturbing to me that I'm not sure if I'll ever visit Hawaii for that reason.

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Lowkey I think my boyfriend's dad recognized that I was able to date a guy with more money than myself, in part because of my looks/resume, because that is EXACTLY how he managed to get with his now-wife. Moral of the story - disregard men who shame hypergamous women because evidently they would do the exact same thing if they could.

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It feels so bizarre to go from my small seminar on race, where almost everybody is a POC and we're dead serious when talking about Trump's executive orders; to my large required class, where people laugh when someone calls Trump a fascist. But like...this is real. It's literally not funny to think about how the Supreme Court has given Trump full leeway to order hits on political opponents without fear of prosecution.

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Literally all I do on the weekend is read my books, take notes, and work on my study guides until I get to play DnD for 3 hours...and then it's back to school for meeee

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Something I find very interesting about people who earned their undergraduate degrees from places like Yale and Stanford is how they often seem to believe that their ideas are self-embodied truths. And how some of them seem to double back, re-examine this belief, and come out of it a little quieter.

I say this with love because these are my friends and I don't think they're bad people for thinking so highly of their own beliefs. I've mentioned this to them before and they've noted that this habit is trained into them by the universities themselves - the universities tell them that if they were admitted, then they must be the best of the best. The smartest young adults in America.

Hypergamy, social climbing, upward mobility - whatever version of it you're pursuing, as a woman of color, often requires traversing places like Yale and Stanford. The older I get, the warier I feel about that.

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It's not about your image but who you actually are. You know what I mean? It's not about "presenting yourself as" x or "looking like" y. It's about actually being whatever you want to be.

The image is irrelevant. It's you that matters. Who are you when nobody's looking you over, not even yourself?

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I moved across America for the first time, lived on my own for the first time, and got into my top choice graduate program of my choice before meeting my partner. I was determined to live my dream life in my favorite part of America with or without a partner. I actually think it was much easier to work toward everything I have now because I could accept that I might not die as a married/partnered woman - and that was truly, genuinely acceptable.

Unpopular opinion?

Obsessing over “marrying well”is a form of escapism—and it’s holding you back.

There’s this pervasive idea on Hypergamyblr that if you could just land the perfect rich husband, your life would magically fall into place. You’d be set for life, your problems would vanish, and you’d live happily ever after in a luxury bubble. But here’s the reality: obsessing over the perfect partner isn’t a pathway to success—it’s a form of escapism.

When you’re focused on finding the “ideal” partner—whether that’s someone wealthy, successful, or with the “perfect” qualities—it distracts you from your own life. It becomes this mental escape, a fantasy where everything else takes a back seat. You start to believe that the key to your happiness and success lies outside of yourself, in someone else. And while dreaming about a future with a partner may seem harmless, when it takes over your thoughts and actions, it fucks up for life.

If you put the energy you’re wasting on fantasizing about the “perfect” rich partner into actually developing your own skills, pursuing your passions, and creating your own success, you would be miles ahead. Success doesn’t come from finding someone to “rescue” you—it comes from what you do for yourself.

Stop looking for someone else to fix your problems. No one is coming to save you. You need to do the work. Build your own wealth, develop your own career, learn new skills, and grow your confidence. Be the woman who is already living an extraordinary life, with or without a partner. Only then will you attract someone who complements your success—not someone who completes you, but someone who enhances your already amazing life.

You’re in control of your destiny, and focusing on a perfect partner is just a way to avoid taking responsibility for it. Stop wasting time thinking you’ll find happiness by being someone’s arm candy. If you want real success, you need to be your own hero first. A partner might come along, but they should never be the foundation of your life. Be strong, capable, and self-sufficient, and the right partner will only add to your greatness—not define it.

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Something you agree with?

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on friends and soulmates and that type of love that feels like it's going to burst right out of your heart

@/zmije / @/leptodiera / @/bichopalo / lyrics from two best friends by bb bean / animatedjames on youtube / @/killingmyselfbutnotdying / unknown / @/sadiekane / friedrich neitzsche / katfish draws / @/elytrians / @/wormbus-art aka @/angel-pond / @/mushysuggestion / the unsent project / mhairi mcfarlane / unknown

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If one more person invokes the model minority myth to talk about people of color I'm going to scream.

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“Creating a life that reflects your values and satisfies your soul is a rare achievement. In a culture that relentlessly promotes avarice and excess as the good life, a person happy doing his own work is usually considered an eccentric, if not a subversive. Ambition is only understood if it’s to rise to the top of some imaginary ladder of success. Someone who takes an undemanding job because it affords him the time to pursue other interests and activities is considered a flake. A person who abandons a career in order to stay home and raise children is considered not to be living up to his potential — as if a job title and salary are the sole measure of human worth. You’ll be told in a hundred ways, some subtle and some not, to keep climbing, and never be satisfied with where you are, who you are, and what you’re doing. There are a million ways to sell yourself out, and I guarantee you’ll hear about them. To invent your own life’s meaning is not easy, but it’s still allowed, and I think you’ll be happier for the trouble.”

— Bill Watterson