x-meri-jaanx - Tumblr blog

[x-meri-jaanx]

meri jaan,

i miss you so much. i miss you every single day and my heart swells with love for you. i miss seeing your smile in person. i miss our late night conversations. i miss us watching girl meets world at one in the morning. i miss taking polaroid pictures with you. i miss being WITH you. 

when i feel sad i look through pictures of the both of us or scroll through your profile and seeing you smile makes me so happy. i love you with all my heart and i love to see you happy. i love that you’re finally happy with your friend group. i know you’ve been through a lot but you’ll be meeting new people and some of them will stay with you forever. i really, really hope that college brings you even more happiness.

sometimes i think i don’t deserve you. that i don’t deserve your love and affection and care and support. i know you’ll get mad at me for saying this but most times i wonder why you tolerate me at all. i’m not an easy person to befriend as some people would have told you about. i get angry and upset really easily but i can do a full 180 and turn happy again. i’m moody and annoying and sometimes i do think/know you would’ve found my behaviour a bit much as well. and i just want to say thank you for sticking by me so long. for taking care of me when i have a breakdown and for listening to me as i go on rambling. thank you for continuing to love me despite how terribly irritating i am at times. thank you for being there for me even when you weren’t doing well yourself. i wish i could be as good of a friend to you as you have been to me but i can’t even come close.

all i ever want is for you to be happy. you deserve the world and the moon and all the stars in the sky. i will love you. always forever.

love.

a

[x-meri-jaanx]

meri jaan,

i wasn't sure if I had said this before or not but I'm literally so so so fucking proud of you. I'm so proud that you were able to fight when there were times that it would have been so much easier to just give up. I thank the universe for your existence and you make me so proud. you're the strongest girl I know and I'm proud of you for everything that you do, whether it be getting into uni, finishing off boards or even the smaller things, like eating food 3 times a day, getting out of bed even when you feel like absolute shit, listening to something really hurtful and still knowing that their words don't make you, you.

you will always be the first love of my life and no matter who understands our relationship and who doesn't, I don't care because I know we both do and that's more than enough for me. we have that lifetime kinda connection and the amount of love and trust I have in you is literally insane god you make me so fucking proud and I love you so so much.

from your soulmate that misses you every day,

m

[x-meri-jaanx]

hi loml,

a new year is about to begin and i want to share this moment with you. i’ve missed you for such a long time and no matter what is going to happen in the future, where we’re going to go, i’ll still miss you and love you no matter what. i hope you have all the happiness the world has to offer. i love you and nothing can ever change that. it simply cannot.

- a

[x-meri-jaanx]

hi love,

I had this dream recently with you in it and idk I just felt so, so peaceful like it was unreal. I hadn't felt like that in so long and so as soon as I woke up, to make sure I don't forget it I typed it down. It isn't much but like because I wrote it down that picture is still in my head. It hasn't even happened in real life but i remember it so vividly that it still keeps me going. In the dream we were sitting on this beach and the sky was like an ombre of blue and yellow with so many tiny stars, like the sky was full of them and then the moon was there too in the shape of a crescent. I asked you for your phone to take a picture and then after I did, we were looking at pictures on your phone and there were so many from this picnic that we had both apparently had and I remember laughing and saying that you still haven't sent any of these to me and then you replied with okay ill send all of them.

It isn't much really it was just a small interaction but I guess it stayed with me because of how at peace and happy I felt. I can't even explain it in words gosh I wish I could be in that same moment, with those same feelings because god do I miss you.

-m

[x-meri-jaanx]

letter to meri jaan

-m

hi meri jaan, it's been so long that i've talked to you and i miss you dearly god i wish we were together. the thought of you makes me go on and i can't explain it but it grounds me. knowing that you're there in the world and your whole existence in general makes me content. you're such a huge part of my life thats it's almost like you are a part of me. i know for a fact that there would be no m without a, at least the m i know. even if we don't talk for days the fact that you are there in the world makes me go on, you make me go on. i dont think ive ever loved or trusted someone as much as you. you deserve so so much and i'd give it all to you if I could. i wish only happiness and a lot of 'infinite moments' for you and hope everyday that there'll be a time when you can be yourself unapologetically, fall in love with the world and surround yourself with people that love and support you. all i want is to see you happy. i know that it isnt possible and life is full of both ups and downs but through all the shit that life throws at you, i will be there. it doesn't matter if we haven't talked in 10,50,100 or even 300 days, for you I'll be here, always. i will always try my best to be your comfort place, and will forever be the the person whose home and heart is always wide open for you.

you will forever be my jaan and ill always love you

[x-meri-jaanx]

letter to my love

- A

hi love. i’ve been missing you so much lately. i really don’t know what to do without you. there’s so much happening but it feels like nothing at the same time. i feel like i’m spiraling. i miss you so much. i really wish you were here right now. i want to run away with you. i would go anywhere with you. i want to do everything i can to make you happy because that makes me happy. i feel so lost and empty without you. i can’t talk to anyone else apart from you. you make me feel like i’m full of life even when i’m at my lowest and i love you for that. you make me smile. you make a lot of people smile. i often wish i was more like you. you’re pretty and smart and nice and people genuinely love you. even the people you don’t like being around love you. i wish i had that power. to make people happy. i wish i was more like you. i admire you so much. you should know how much you mean to me and the rest of the world. sometimes i’m so surprised that i know you and that we’re so close because you feel like someone i’d want to be friends with but i could never. i love you a lot. you make me feel full and i’ve never felt that way before. even when the world around me is collapsing you’re the constant in my life. i would never know how to feel or what to do without you. i miss you so much. i want you to be happy. i hope you’re happy and if you aren’t i hope you will be.

i really do love you.

[x-meri-jaanx]

letters to my love 

- A

hi my love. i thought i’d start writing you letters everyday because i love you far too much and it hurts that i can’t say these things to you in person. i wish i was a poet because every poem i’d ever write would be for you. if its the moon that makes you smile i’d take pictures of it everyday to send you. if you find the love of your life someday, i’ll be sure to break their bones if they don’t love you as much as i do. that might not be possible because i don’t think anyone could ever love anyone else the way i love you. it’s simply because you are authentically and uniquely and perfectly you. i don’t want sad days for you but they will come nevertheless and i will be by your side throughout every single one of them. i know things can be tough and you’ll feel lonely and i wish i could prevent that but i cannot so instead i give you my heart and my endless eternal love as a promise for better days. just like the moon, you shine brightly on my life. and i wish i do that for you too. i love you

[x-meri-jaanx]

tell me everything about you, you could go on for hours and i’d listen. always. 

[x-meri-jaanx]

this is the friendship we have. we’re our own vmin. ily.

[x-meri-jaanx]

you’ll always be my partner in crime <3

Tell me why it’s 1 in the morning and I’m carefully planning a hypothetical murder with my darling bestie

[x-meri-jaanx]

The Fabulous Four // FRAGILE LITTLE THINGS

[x-meri-jaanx]

So you can keep me Inside the pocket of your ripped jeans Holding me closer 'til our eyes meet You won't ever be alone, wait for me to come home

Loving can heal, loving can mend your soul And it's the only thing that I know, know I swear it will get easier Remember that with every piece of ya Hmm, and it's the only thing we take with us when we die

Photograph - Ed Sheeran

fuck i just realized how this song is so us. i swear i’ll find my way back home to u meri jaan

[x-meri-jaanx]

forever a song that will remind me of you

[x-meri-jaanx]

i ♡ u to the moon and back, its really just that simple

[x-meri-jaanx]

Aesthetic - Galentine’s Day

[x-meri-jaanx]

Aesthetic|request - Name: Kat