xenina

[xenina]

a big world for a small duckling 

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Moss (British) Cat and Sweetpeas ca. 1907 Autochrome The Metropolitan Museum of Art Gift of Robert Hershkowitz, in memory of Samuel J. Wagstaff Jr., 1987 1987.1160

[xenina]

i think i really need to, you know, get it off my chest? preferably somewhere far, far away from my chest.

long story short: a yer ago i was diagnosed with multiple sclerosis. which in itself is manageable. you look out for your self, exercise, eat well, don't smoke, take meds and you're good.

long story long: all that doesn't guarantee you'll be ok all the time. you can't or you shouln't stress. yet, medical induced anxiety jumping through the roof every time i sneeze.

one of my main joys\stress reliefs was a long hot bath. not anymore. can't overheat. eating something greasy, tasty, kind of bad for you food? apparently obesity can cause ms activity, so no to that too. so i lost 20 kilos to make it easier (self-image problems that cause anxiety). didn't really help.

it's been a year-long game of wack-a-mole. you deal with one thing, another two pop up. again and again, and again. because of it, my physical health is kind of ok. not perfect, not good. ok. but playing wack-a-mole hit my mental health right in the gut. it's deteriorating quite fast. thanks to my partner i'm holding it together. kind of. but i do need professional help. sadly - physical is still a priority. so who knows when i'll be able to focus on making my mind a little better place to live in than it is now.

overall it's tiering. even though i'm used to it. even though i accepted it. this disease is really really tiering. and somewhat scary.

i just want to feel good for longer than a few weeks in a row.

i need it.

p.s.: it doesn't help that i don't have irl friend group, or a single irl friend aside from my partner. he's great, but sometimes you need other people, and all my people are far away.

[xenina]

[xenina]

dont fuck w wayne!!!

[xenina]

yeah i don’t kno how to use youtube and watch full help me

[xenina]

I drew Felix and Marzia cause they are hella wholesome.

[xenina]

近期 || 车车车厘厘厘 [pixiv] || Twitter [@LAOGUXX] ※Permission to upload this was given by the artist (©). **Please, rate and/or bookmark her works on Pixiv too** [Please do not repost, edit or remove credits]

[xenina]

when you wanna talk but you have nothing to say

[xenina]

Did a self portrait. Got my two puppers, Dex and Dug, lil Rick plushie, muthafuckin coffee dawg, comfy slippers and sweatshirt, and a jackaboy hat lol. Enjoy.

[xenina]

Schneep: SHUT ZHE FUCK UP!!

I need more schneep song pls

[xenina]

Colored. :3 I’m trying different things to figure out what coloring is.

[xenina]

“prodigy”

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gifset per episode: yuri vs. yuri. the horror!! rostelecom cup, free skate

[xenina]

Art by  かなた。

Posted with Permission (reprint/edit and/or commercial use prohibited)

[xenina]

💚POP Jack💚 @therealjacksepticeye

[xenina]

Aww, thanks, @littlesepticsam *mental hugs*

@holsepticeye @xakumi @nivana-p @septicuniverse @septiceye-girl @geminii-baybee92 @jackdrawsgames @jacksoopticboop с:

This is a virtual hug. A hug from me to you, to anyone who needs it. Pass it along to spread the love and PMA and remeber that you are loved 💚