xiezna

[xiezna]

The Passage of (Time) Data

Where did the time go? I barely remember any of it. It’s been almost 18 years since I got my first PC and connected to this global village called the internet. Yay! I’ve spent nearly 65% of my life online. Things have changed drastically since 2007, and honestly, the internet has become disturbingly sad and unbearable - at least for me.

Where did the fun go? I get that the so-called "golden era" of the internet is probably just childhood nostalgia and might be different for everyone. But as someone who went through abuse, the internet was my place. It was where I had fun, made friends, and found things to do - all without costing me anything but time. Instead of living a typical teenage life, I spent my days online. And now? The trend has only gotten worse.

What made me pour my entire personality, identity, and life into this cloud-based reality? Was it loneliness? The way my unstable, distant mother raised me - letting me do whatever I wanted as long as I left her alone? (Not blaming her, of course.)

Now imagine this: it’s my 70th birthday in June, and since 2007, I’ve spent almost 85% of my life online. That’s INSANE. My career, job, free time, friends, finances, passions, leisure��MY ENTIRE LIFE—all existing in the digital world.

I hate this trend. I hate the lack of real social bonds. And I hate that, because of my disabilities, I struggle to make friends, build connections, and form relationships in real life.

I hate that I’ve been turned into free labor for training data. I hate that platforms try to outsmart me with the garbage they push on YouTube, Google Search, TikToks and every other marketing algorithm. I hate how content constantly tries to shove a political agenda down my throat - trapping me in endless internet debates about how much "woman" a trans woman is, what defines manhood, or how modern society has destroyed men - all that nonsense. Pure, polarized hostility.

I hate it. I just want freedom, spontaneity, and fun again. No labels, no arguments... just being.

Are we cooked?

[xiezna]

Are you the soloist of mass consumption?