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[xjessax]

Another mile today. I ran about a block. That probably seems like nothing to most of you but I had to push myself and that is awesome. My cousin said, “I didn’t know you could run like that.” :) Hopefully soon I will make it 2 miles. I could do it now but I want it to be as effortlessly as 1 mile is.

 Looking for inspiration...

[xjessax]

Measurements & lbs

I am embarrassed to tell y’all how much I weigh. Especially since I have gained back so much of the weight I had worked so hard to lose. In 2010, I moved back home to KY weighing 358- the biggest I ever remember myself weighing. I worked my butt off, literally, and got down to 300! In Feb 2013, I went into the hospital for 6 days when I was diagnosed with the kidney failure. When I came out of the hospital I had lost 6 pounds and was down to 294! Oh how I was so happy to see that 2! A month later after healing from surgery, I started peritoneal dialysis. The solution that is used is made up of Dextrose (suagr) and adds approx. 450 calories on me every night that I do it! By not counteracting those extra calories that was not my fault, I have slowly gained the weight back over the passed 2yrs. So I am horrified to tell you that when I weighed myself on Sun. May 20, I was 346. :( Now you understand why I need you desperately! Here’s my progress so far... (Please keep in mind that with dialysis, my weight will fluctuate alot due to fluid gain/loss).

Sun 5/20/15-Mon 5/25/15

Weight: 346...341 (5 lbs lost!)

Inches: 3′’ lost from Bust, 4 1/2′’ lost below bust, 1′’ lost from what I call my “pooch”, 1′’ lost from waist, 1′’ lost from hips, 1/2′’ lost from each calf.

Next progress update on Monday! Keep smiling!

[xjessax]

Food Journal & Progress

So this week has been mostly good with a few bad days as far as fitness and eating right. I’m trying, but it takes time to program your body and your mind to do the things their supposed to do as if those things were second nature. There are a lot of bad habits to correct. I have been overweight my entire life post.. 5yrs old, and some of my issues are medical related and genetics, but mostly it’s a lifetime of bad habits and laziness. So while, I’m disappointed in myself for the not-so-good-days, the fact that I’m trying and thinking about my health every day, is a great start, So here goes the results: Remember, I started on Wed, because I wanted to wait until after my birthday which was last Tues. Also, due to my dialysis, I am required to eat a ton of protein! 100g a day to be exact. That is so hard!

Wed. May 20th

Water Goal: 5- 32oz. (Actual water drank= 3)

Lunch= Black bean and corn Turkey burger with red peppers, side of veggies and 1 Tbsp. of Greek yogurt. Shot of GoYin & LiquidCel:(Liquid Cel is disgusting but has 16g of protein)

Snack= 1/2 Cucumber and 2 Tbsp of Ranch, Activia peach yogurt cup.

Dinner= Talapia, Veggies w/ red pepper on top of 1 C. of cooked white rice. 1 C. peaches w/ 1/2 C. Greek yogurt.

Thurs. May 21st

Water= 1 :(

Lunch= 2 fried sausage patties, 1 fried egg (in Olive oil), 1 slice toast, 1 C. peaches.

Snack(Linner?)= 3/4 C. dry Radiatore pasta with 5 medium turkey meatballs, 1/2 red pepper and 2 Tbsp Greek yogurt.

Snack= 1 C. Organic baby carrots w/ 2 Tbsp PB

Dinner= 1 C. cooked white rice, Talapia and Veggies

Dessert= fried apples (butter, brown sugar and cinnamon) w/ Tsp. drizzled caramel sauce. w/ Green Tea (2 Tbsp. sugar)

Fri. May 22nd

Water= 1 :(

Breakfast= 1 fried egg, 2 slices of toast w/ 1 Tsp. Mayo, Peach Activia cup.

Lunch= Chicken stir fry and rice w/ Tsp. Greek yogurt

Dinner= Pork loin w/ carrots and potatoes (Crockpot), 1Tbsp. BQ Sauce. Instant Coffee-iced with 1 Tbsp Hazelnut creamer, 1/2 C. 2% Milk, 4 Tbsp. sugar. (Normally, I would not put so much in my coffee but I used too much instant coffee and it was way strong!)

Sat. May 23rd (Bad day! Went out with friends and family)

Water= I find it hard to believe I didn’t drink any water; however, I don’t have anything recorded. :( I think I had a 12oz. ice water at the mall-yeah).

Breakfast= Cliff Kid Z bar- (Organic oatmeal bar)

Lunch= Bellafonte Italian Restaurant: Veal and Prosciutto w/ spinach and mozz cheese over angel hair pasta. (OMG this was delicious!) 2 1/2 regtangular parm & herb bread sticks, Salad w/ blue cheese dressing, 2 glasses of pink lemonade.

Dinner= Golden Corale.... enough said. :(  & 2 Sweet Teas and 1 water)

Sun. May 24th

Lunch= Leftover chicken stir fry w/ Gluten free soy sauce

Snack= Carrots w/ 1 Tbsp BP, 1/2 Cucumber w/ 1 Tbsp Ranch

Dinner= 2 hot dogs on buns w/ banana peppers, pepperoni & mozz

Snack= 8 Nilla cookies (serving size), Cinnabon Coffee black from TacoBell, 1 C. (or a few handfuls) of Cajun Trail Mix

[xjessax]

Discouraged

Ok, for anyone who is reading this.. which it appears no one is, I apologize for not recording my Monday results. The fact is, no one is commenting so I feel as if I’m talking to myself. I thought about just deleting this and not messing with it. However, it does help to write things down, even if I’m the only one reading this.  I will continue to post and hopefully I’ll get a few supporters. :)

Looking for inspiration...

[xjessax]

Where's the tough love guys?

This only works if you hold me accountable y'all. Unless you count walking around the mall yesterday as exercise.. I did nothing. And I destroyed my diet yesterday as well, as you will see tomorrow when I post my food journal. It was a really great day though. Today, I only walked a mile. I probably would have walked more but I was walking with my 80yr old grandmother and I was just proud that she got that far. More tomorrow...

[xjessax]

Memorial cardio?

So.. today I went with my mom and aunt to visit nine different graves and put out new flowers on them. If you've ever been to graveyards in eastern Kentucky then you know how steep a hill can be. I've climbed up and down those hills all day. Does that count as cardio? :) I think it should. That's all the exercise I've done for today. And as you can see, I didn't post anything yesterday. It rained all day. Yes, I could have exercised inside or gone to the gym but I didn't. :( Scold away...

[xjessax]

Okay, so I did try to take a walk but I took my dog and she's a terrible walking partner. I spend the whole time trying to get her to walk properly. Finally I gave up and came home. My goal is a mile every day this week. I could do two but I want to work my body up to it so it feels like nothing. Hopefully I can keep adding miles on every week. That's the goal.

[xjessax]

It starts today!

Just measured and weighed myself.. It was not pretty.

[xjessax]

The top picture was me my freshman year of college, I was 18. The bottom was taken today (30!) Aside from obvious weight gain, I don’t see much difference. I know the top picture is poor quality so it might be hard to make an accurate judgement, but what do you think?

[xjessax]

Happy Birthday to me!

Wow, I’m 30! I think I can feel my face sagging and my hair turning grey. Just kidding, I feel no different. Well, physically anyway. I feel more determined than ever to lose weight. Tomorrow starts day one of my absolute commitment to losing weight. Tomorrow I will start recording everything I eat in my food journal and I will post everything on Mondays (including any inches and pounds I have lost for the week). You do not want to know what I ate today. The pizza wasn't so bad: Eggplant, zucchini, squash and Chorizo with a marinara sauce on Naan bread. Delish! For dessert, an amaaazing Turtle Cheesecake. It is my birthday after all. 

[xjessax]

May 19th 2015!

OK, So it’s finally here. No amount of wishing it away or attempting to ignore how close it’s coming, will actually stop it from happening. On May 19th, 2015, I Jessica Michelle, will be turning 30! 

I know, right!? Okay, so thirty really isn't that bad. It’s not old. (right?-right.) And.. I've been told I look 21-25 (yeah, they could’ve been being nice). So it’s not a looks thing. Perhaps it’s the fact that I have nothing to show for it. Yes, that’s half of it. I’m not married, no kids (which most certainly is not necessary for measuring success-but I do want those things) and I have yet to actually finish a degree despite my 4 yrs-on-and-off-experience of higher education. I have nothing creative out in the world I can call my own. I've never been on Broadway, never recorded an album or even heard myself on the radio. Touring through the back lots of Universal Studios in Hollywood is the closest I've ever come to being in a movie. And I do not own a business. The list could go on but you get the picture. 

The second half? My weight. I have been over-weight for as long as I can remember. It has held me back from alot in life. After high school, I could have gone off to brave it in NYC and tried to make it in acting, but.. I knew my weight would stop me from getting the roles I wanted. Maybe that was just an excuse to not do it because I was afraid to fail. I don’t know. But I didn't try. It keeps me from being as physically active in all the ways I want to be. I love hiking but I can’t do the extreme stuff. I can go for walks but I can’t run marathons. I can’t go rock climbing, forget bungee-jumping and I think I would have made a fantastic dancer... but the world will never know. Or will they?

What is my point to all of this? I need your help! I have spent my entire years of my 20′s, not living my life to the fullest-not being the healthiest version of myself. My 20′s were like an emotional roller coaster. I was trying to figure out who I was and what I wanted out of life. It was a time for rule-breaking and pushing the limits and making mistakes. It was a wild ride but at 30, I think the roller coaster stops and real life starts. I know who I am and what I want out of life, my relationship with God is stronger than it has ever been and I’m much more confident in all aspects of my life. As I think about that, for the first time, I feel excited about being thirty! But I don’t want to live through my 30′s in the same body as I did my 20′s. It has to be better! It has to be more! 

Here’s where you come in.. I’ll be the first person to tell you that I have no will power when it comes to exercising. It’s something I’m trying to work on, but I’m just being honest. Food, I do better. I love eating healthy. Of course, I don’t always do that but dieting has never been my issue. I need to be pushed. I need to be held accountable. In a healthy, respectful and helpful manner, I need all of you to hold me accountable. I’m going to sincerely commit to keeping a food journal. I have tried in the past but have never kept it up. But I know you won’t let me stop, right? Every Monday, I will post what I ate for the week. The bad and the good. I will also post when I work out, so you can scold me for not working out, encourage me to work out more or cheer me on for a good job! YOU will play a key role in my success. And if someone needs a push of encouragement from me, please let me know and I will be there. One day of the week, I will also let you know how many inches and pounds I've lost and post videos or pics so you can see all the changes. 

One more thing.. I was diagnosed with kidney failure two years ago and before I can even get on the list for a kidney transplant, I have to lose at least a 100 pounds. So you see.. this is really life or death for me.

Because you have so little faith. Truly I tell you, if you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mountain, 'Move from here to there,' and it will move. Nothing will be impossible for you.  –Matthew 17:20

Thank you for committing to helping me make my 30′s the best years ever! Thank you for helping me move my mountain.

More to come...

 Jessica Michelle