yannaryartside

[yannaryartside]

Yeah, either whatever spiritual retreat Carmy will embark on may affect how he sees his relationship with Claire, or they'll try to give the relationship another go at the beginning of the season. Maybe both.

ClairexCarmy is also an embodiment of people not being able to let go of toxic relationships, or even being able to see them for what it is. I need this relationship to blow up so that neither of them has doubts that they were never together for the right reasons. All that setup of her malpractice and other showcasings of lack of empathy have to have a payoff.

Also, yeah, sydcarmy cannot just happen because Carmen realizes he loves Sydney. For better or worse, Sydney has already experienced every possible taste of Carmen in his worst mental state, and she has kind of accepted that they would never happen, which has to have consequences, too.

honestly, i think carmy and claire need to date officially. because it feels like this weird and undefined relationship is the reason they keep going back to each other.

maybe i’m crazy but carmy not wanting to define their relationship but preceding to run to her after a full season of just thinking about her is because they need to cut the bullshit and officially date so they can put this to rest if it doesn’t work out.

clearly an apology and a love confession isn’t going to cut it. they need to stop making everybody else miserable and get it over with. otherwise, it’s a constant “what if” scenario between them.

but my fear as to why they won’t do that is because they’re using claire as an obstacle for sydcarmy and they don’t want to get rid of it any time soon. which is frustrating! sydcarmy have issues that could be used for them to be apart. they don’t have to do the same thing.

[yannaryartside]

He was definitely taken back (and kinda resentful) of Sydney saying out loud she wanted a new partner just as they dissolved their partnership. And when she said she needed it? He was devastated.

Because he just told her she doesn't need him, and I think he hoped she would move forward no needing anybody else.

All this is in the context of him trying to pass through her walls by going to the hospital and sge rejecting him again.

Maybe Carmy wants to be wanted, maybe he never felt comfortable being needed because in her house emotional dependence was usually followed by shame and guilt-tripping.

Maybe is even relief, because Syd is neither minimizing his struggles nor guilt tripping him. Both Donna and Claire do that. He cried being grateful and ashamed, because he does wish he wasn't broken, and he never had nobody to be safe with while broken.

But I think he also cried because he wants to be better, and he hopes to one day be good enough to be everything Syd could want or need. He is jealous, ashamed, grateful and marveled at Sydney.

In Goodbye when Syd asks for Richie to be a partner and Carmy asks: it’s what you want and she replies: it’s what I need. And Carmy covers his mouth and starts crying but agrees? Oh. A gorgeous choice.

I need to know his exact thought process. I want to know exactly what was running through his mind and why it brought him to tears. My first reaction was to wonder if he was getting what he wanted and was scared about it. Like even though he’d made this choice in the partnership agreement, even though he’s been fighting with her to accept this, what if he didn’t really want to go, but Syd found a way forward with the terms he set out and now it was just too real.

Or, is he scared and moved to tears because he knows there’s another man that she finds suitable to take his place. And she didn’t have to struggle and look around for him- he’s been right there the whole time. And Carmy hates that thought.

Or is it a release of emotion now that they’re at the end of their fight?

Or a secret other thing that we don’t know about?

An exquisite choice.

And in thinking about how Carmy’s face was hidden for much of the episode, when he cries, his face and body are most turned away from the camera, but is also most illuminated from the lighting.

I cannot believe I survived goodbye but it really is the gift that keeps on giving.

[yannaryartside]

The fact that the camera followed her braid that is a (cheap) imitation of Sydneys braids while dancing (about a song about Syd) this is so twisted. No pun intended.

Don't it beat a slow dance to death? …

[yannaryartside]

Oh definitely, I'm in my bodyguard Sydcarmy au era and thus is still how I picture them.

when I’m reading sydcarmy au’s this is who I’m picturing btw

—

worlds most famous and accomplished tennis player announces a surprise early retirement in order to coach his wife full time as she tries to revive her career after giving birth. No one believes in her more than him.

—

I desperately need a tennis sydcarmy au. I need writers to get on their zooms…

[yannaryartside]

I think you brought up a decisive element to this discussion.

We are to suspect (by the nasty looks of Claire gives Sydney when nobody is looking, her annoyance at Carmen when he is struggling to speak, and her lack of emphaty to people in certain situations, like her malpractice) that Claire's disposition, as you describe it, is likely performative. But I think she does it for social capital more than just bringing her work home. She has been like this for a while. She said in college she “got good at taking care of sad drunk people.”

And there is something so sinister about that.

Most books I have read about domestic (romantic partner) abuse victims that also suffered childhood abuse have that pattern: the victim never had someone to rely on or that loved them genuinely, and then fall for someone who provided that disposition. Since abusers and codependents love-bomb and isolate the victims, the ground-floor is laid up to build a prison.

Regardless of whether Claire is a narcissistic or just codependent, her lack of empathy towards Carmy's issues shows up when as she isn't getting the emotional response she is craving. And that's not gonna end well for either of them. They both need therapy.

“I've been gentle. That's my job. I listen. That's what I do best. I've been a broad, generic, sympathetic woman to you because that's what this work calls for. You've made me all of the things you feel are missing in your wife. And in your mother.” -Dr. Jennifer Melfi

This is a quote from Tony Sopranos therapist when he reveals he’s in love with her but it immediately reminded me of Claire.

Claire has a lot of issues on her own but every man on the show seems to be projecting onto her. Part of her job as a doctor is to listen and be empathetic. She’s generic and soft spoken in a way that allows everyone to talk about how perfect she is even though they don’t really know her.

Carmy falls into this hard because she’s a cute girl that’s attracted to him, kinda knows his past, and doesn’t see any fault in his behavior. Claire’s “peace” is just her being a blank slate that’s separate from Carmys day to day life.

She’s not attached to the restaurant so that’s peace. She’s not really in with the Berzattos so that’s peace. She ignores all his red flags so that’s peace. At this point peace to Carmy is just someone that he can run away to who doesn’t really know him.

Sydney is a big part of The Bear, part of the family and calls him on his shit so that’s scary.

Sorry, apparently I’m gonna keep drawing parallels between The Sopranos and The Bear.

[yannaryartside]

Baby I missed you!!!! ❤️❤️

Thank you for blessing us today! Ngl I can imagine Carmen flirting like this

Accidental flirting

Ayoo I’m still here, are y’all into this still? 😭

[yannaryartside]

The most pathetic part of this is that I don't think she knows him or even knew him at all. Everything she says she remembers about him are things that Michael or someone else could have told her.

I definitely think it was Michael the one that told her about the name “bear” because Carm and Michael only choose that name after he came back from Copenhagen. She couldn't know it if Carmy and her hadn't talk in like a decade. She lied about it and could be lying about plenty of things too.

She said she sat behind him in class and watched him draw, but Carmy didn't remember that, and I think he definitely would if it actually happened. I find it really suspicious thsr in “Fishes” Michael said he talked to Claire and then he mentions Carmy's drawings of Claire, and then that's the detail she brings up to create this narrative that she was always interested in him.

Claire herself said they didn't talked at all as kids. She didn't know him forever, they were just around the same circles and it wasn't until Michael died that she ever expressed interest to actually reach out to him. She did know all his family. You telling me she didn't think or getting his number (if she always wanted to get it without his consent) from any of them in the 10 years they didn't spoke? That “I had a crush on you forever” is as flaky as her personality.

i still don't get it. what? they grew up in the same neighborhood? they went to high school together? she knows of his family and he owes her the rest of his life?

[yannaryartside]

Excellent meta as always. Looking foward to the thoughts you’ll like to share about the season.

If anything, Sydney’s desire to fix the issues around her just adds to my list of reasons of why she is better to the family and for Carmy overall. The contrast with Claire’s scene it’s outstanding. “I want to fix it” vs “I want to understand it.” One, fixing actually involves the recognition that something is wrong, even if you can’t understand it sometimes. It’s not like she is a psychologist or had experience anything like this before. And even with that scenes like “I’m in tune 🎵” song in 4x01 really showcased an emotional connection that defies the hurdles created by Carmy’s mental turmoil. He is quite unwell, and for what’s it’s worth, Carmy’s fight in the stairs with Claire reads to me like she really doesn’t get how unwell he is “it’s loud for everyone” not Claire, not that much. You are a doctor, either your are diminishing Carmy’s state because you don’t want to admit you didn’t see it, or you are putting your heartbreak as colateral to the conversation. It’s human, but is unwise. And it also kinda reads like lack of empathy.

Recognizing what is wrong is something that Carmy was still quite uncomfortable with even as 4x10. He was embarrassed around Sydney’s compassion. Whatever seasons we have left, as of Carmy’s arc it feels like we are halfway.

As for Claire, she is okay with understanding (instead of fixing) because she has been an spectator of the Berzatto chaos her whole life, even if I personally think her understanding of the issues surrounding this people is only superficial (why on earth did she never suggest to Carmy not to seek professional help if she suspected his hand wound could be self harm or a traumatic event?). Moreover, understanding someone’s issues and not intending to help to fix them sounds more to me like a person that wants to benefit from the chaos and emotional turmoil around them. For Claire, I think she wants mostly codependency and adoration and that’s why she tends to showcase annoyance when Carmy’s avoidance shows up (that reads like emotional immaturity, she knew he wasn’t ready for a relationship and tends to feel antagonized every time that Carmy still shows his struggles).

It’s not that Sydney’s maturity and genuine desire to help guarantee that Sydcarmy would happen. But the most you contrast Syd and Claire against the fixing theme in the show the more glaring red flags seem to show up.

I’ll also like to agree with your take that the pacing feels disjointed. It feels both the Clairexcarmy reconciliation and Sydney’s choices were elongated artificially in order to achieve season arcs instead of the natural progression of each of those process. It forces the audiences to engaged with this struggles more than it feels natural.

Syd & Carmy: Fixing

The topic of fixing came back with Sydney while discussing The Bear.

“…the house is crazy and full of crazy people. But, like, also full of goodness and, like, purity and fun and promise.” “Yes, I’m aware there’s no pizza, but there’s, like, still goodness. And I could fix it or… I don’t know if I could fix it but maybe it could be fixed. It could be fixed, and I could…It could just..Everything could make sense, and it would be good and…And honestly, it's like, "Do I even want pizza?" Because there's a bed for me, you know. There's a bed for me at that place. That's my bed, and it's not my house, but there's a bed that I can sleep in there. And there could be pizza, you know. Like we could make it a place where there is pizza. There could be Thai food if we wanted. There could be video games. And just... And, like, goodness and chaos and peace and good food. And, like, that's it, and it would be there, instead of me having to go to another house and, like, start over all again.

We know that Carmy wanted to fix The Beef because he wanted to fix his relationship with his brother. That’s why when Carmy asked Claire if she wanted to fix a broken arm, she corrected him by saying she wanted to understand it.

Afterwards, it almost looked like Carmy was disappointed in Claire’s response.

Maybe to Sydney, fixing The Bear is a way to fix her partnership with Carmy or even her life. Carmy trying to do it felt like he was running to the past while Sydney is trying to move forward.

It’s been briefly mentioned here, but Carmy’s feeling of inadequacy is so prevalent into the reason why their partnership feels disjointed.

It’s like this need for competition. To compete with the one person he’s culinarily intimidated by. And Claire saying that he’s The Bear, maybe he always felt like he constantly had something to prove. It reminded him of what he probably never wanted to be in the first place. All he ever wanted was create something good with his brother.

When Mikey purposefully stopped connecting with him, Carmy lashed out and went to multiple kitchens just to prove his excellency out of spite. It probably didn’t feel that way because he had a love for it. That took a turn when Chef David came into the picture. His drive to the culinary space was in showing Mikey that he doesn’t need him. Now it’s attached to his grief and trauma of culinary abuse.

To be completely honest, Carmy attempting to remove himself may be a great solution on paper but Sydney wanted a partner who she could trust. That trust is definitely compromised now.

But the big brother there is like… He’s somebody who I look up to a lot because he is… he’s the best in the world at playing video games. He’s, straight up, like, one of the best in the world. Like the fact that he wants me to be over at his house playing video games with him is, like, low-key an honor, you know. The only issue is that, um, he is kind of a lot and doesn’t like to share. And even though sometimes he’ll be like, “Oh, play this video game with me,” then if I do too well, he acts kind of weird and, like, funky with me. And it’s not always really clear or consistent, like, when he wants to share and why he doesn’t want to, and like what’s going on with his life and the other people he, like, plays games with. And also just friends outside of playing games. Often that comes into the gameplay and the sleepover of it all, and it’s actually like a little bit inappropriate sometimes.

Sydney is aware of her skills in the kitchen being the cause to his behavior at times.

This strange possessiveness to being the best in the kitchen while also his clear jealousy of when someone else wants her. As Sydney said, it is inappropriate.

When he said she doesn’t need him and her telling him that wasn’t the point, he likely knows that too because his problem might be with the kitchen, but it’s also the acknowledgment that his need for her to keep things afloat is stronger than hers.

Would they let her fix it? It seems like Carmy was only person that wouldn’t. For whatever reason, he keeps them in limbo.

Even if he decides to stay, so much time would feel wasted because we’re potentially going to gear up for however many seasons this inner turmoil will last. Especially considering with how long Sydney’s decision to stay or not lasted. Many of y’all will probably disagree with me but I feel like most of these problems of feeling consistent stagnant progression in the story wouldn’t feel that way if we had more episodes per season. Since it comes out every year, it feels like we’re hitting same story beats with a different font each year.

Claire: Peace & Kindness

[yannaryartside]

He used to beat up Michael, Donna was either blind to it or let it be. So yeah, I’ll trow a punch at him whatever way I could. I’ll recent him for life. I don’t care if Michael was likely not a minor when it happened, (even though its possible), you shouldn’t be beating up your girlfriend's kids.

Holding space for the way the Berzatto brothers both viscerally despise "Uncle" Lee Lane

[yannaryartside]

Guys, you have no idea how much this image affects me. They are not only two of my favorite actors, but Elliot and Carmen are also quite high on my list of top 10 favorite male characters in all media.

kinda autistic representation too

The money I'll pay to see them in something together

Jeremy and Rami Malek at the US Open

[yannaryartside]

Something about the fact that Carmy never called anybody “friend” before.

He never was able to relate or feel accepted within people his age, that it’s something that leaves emotional scars. Even if later he convinced himself he was better alone, that is simply self defense of how rejected he felt. He confided in Cl*^re how jealous he was of Michael and Claire growing up because they had a lot of friends. “I wanted that” he said.

He was so desperate to fit in that frat party, to live the scenarios and experiences he was exclude from.

Richie, Nat not Michael were his friends. Yet he grew up thinking that Michael was his best friend. A friend that later outcasted him, ignored and gaslighted him. All the other people in the restaurant are more family than friends.

Cl*^re awkward and dry conversation manipulated him into thinking if Fak is his best friend. Which is pathetic for all people mentioned.

Marcus and Luca are the only other individuals of his age he could call friends. Marcus and Carmy gave each other advice and encouragement. Carmy and Luca push each other (even if it’s mostly one sided) but they aren’t close. I refuse to believe Carmy even had Lucas phone number, I think he got it trough someone else.

But is Sydney the one that he wants to claim as friend despite the fact that they haven’t hangout outside the restaurant. Despite all their disagreements and challenges. Despite the fact that she continues to push him away when it comes to actually being there for personal stuff.

There is something so sad about Carmy not really having a reference in his life for actual friendship that is not related or influence by family or work (and those toxic environments). Vampire is not his friend either. Yet, Sydney…

He never personally chose someone before and decided “I’m gonna stick with you”. And yet he saw Sydney, felt their telepathy, their mutual interest, their common humor and goals, and her charming personality. And despite not ever having that ever, he wants to claim it, to name it. He never had an attachment this secure before, he is going to fight for it.

[yannaryartside]

The way every single person that has worked with her seems to adore her. She even has some friendships as a result of the projects she has worked on, which is something JAW also wants.

A love princesses being treated as such.

Ayo and Andrew's friendship seems precious 🥹

Source : TikTok

[yannaryartside]

Carmy, and forcing yourself to be with someone.

I want to talk about Carmy forcing himself to trust Claire, or more specifically, ignoring the way his body may be warning him something is wrong.

This came to mind after reading @aerishey incredible meta and its reblog. The image used below belongs to them. Please also read @fairestbeard blogs on the body language of the wedding scene, in using this last one as reference here.

Carmy has multiple displays of anxiety around Claire: panic attacks, tremors (his hand shaking before talking to her at the wedding), and something that resembles tachycardia, sometimes even when they are just talking. There is also the freeze response allegory (Claire was standing in the place where the freezer was going to be when they had their first kiss, and he went to the freezer to talk to Claire).

We don't know the reasons for that. We have speculated it's because she has a few personality quirks that remind him of Donna and trigger his brain to make him think he is unsafe. Perhaps it's related to them not really knowing each other, and Carmy reading that lack of connection as an indication that he is in danger. I even interacted with a ClairexCarmy shipper some time ago (who, for what it's worth, commented in one of my metas in a very respectful way). They insisted that Carmy's panic attacks are because he is not used to safe relationships and registers danger when there isn't any.

But I really don't think that's what's happening here. Not these responses, not this often. Carmy grew up in an abusive household and had a psychologically abusive boss. His body knows when he is in danger. I really doubt anybody could write the line "You make me feel like I was on fire" as if he is not already a suicidal person who deliberately used fire to inflict self-harm. He could indeed associate peace with fire because he put his hand on fire to not feel, and Claire had already talked about "Did it hurt so much that it didn't hurt at all."

Now, all of that still fits under the connotation of self-harm and how Claire helps to perpetuate those feelings.

There is no way to paint this in a positive light or try to imply that Claire is not somehow complacent about Carmy's suffering. If she indeed is a careless, unconsiderate person who is "applying the wrong treatment" to Carmen's wounds, all these connotations unmistakably taint the possibility of this relationship being healthy, ever.

What I'd like to emphasize here is Carmy's relentless (and almost sickening) persistence in portraying this relationship in a positive light. How much he keeps coming for more, even though it has been bad for him in the past. How much he tries to tell himself it is good, to distrust his body's response to it.

It really reminds me of a person who has been abused, but has received some "reward" after the abuse has happened, and then continues to pursue a relationship, trying to dismiss the abuse that has occurred. It could apply to all types of abuse: physical, psychological, domestic, and sexual. This is a very complex topic and I’m just referencing the surface. There has been a resurface of the topic of grooming in the Latino community recently, due to a popular artist admitting to seduce another signer since she was 13, so all of this is on my mind. A lot of conversations around the way people love bomb people in difficult situations.

Claire is someone who has access to Carmy's inner circle, someone the people around him worship, and, more importantly, someone who presents themselves as pleasant and understanding but showcases some really glaring moments of lack of empathy. She is not a good person, but likely so because of her need for codependence and the way she wants to be perceived, which is very similar to Donna's. She prioritizes her own wants over other people’s struggles.

And all these elements are just so sinister to me.

Also why was Lee the one to suggest to tell people things? Why does Carmen has to listen to him? Didn’t Lee used to beat Michael up? He is an abuser suggesting him vulnerability. WTF is all this.

Carmy is forcing himself to pursue Claire. She loved bombed him and he felt like a bad person for the way things ended. She stalked him through his family connections and played into his social insecurities (the party) to seduce him. Carmy never had a person that was there for him and tried to know him. And then comes Claire that affirms to know him forever. But she is also passive aggressive when things do go her way.

And he tells himself all this is good. That he has loved her forever. That she didn’t do anything wrong.

Moreover. He actively tries to imitate his relationship with Sydney in his relationship with Claire. He texted Syd before opening Michael’s letter, and that gave him peace, and then called Claire before going into Donna’s house trying to imitate the reflect Syd had in him, to contradicting effects.

[yannaryartside]

@fairestbeard you give me life with this analysis every time. The comment for Claire Fleabag made me laugh out loud. My Shayla.

Carmy genuinely is terrified all the time they are talking. ATP the people that justify it by him being shy nervous or so in love concern me. This is not normal. He is looking around like a trapped animal.

And Claire…she is so contradicting at times, she likes to comfort and present herself as considerate. That’s how she lures people in, and yet she seems genuinely irritated to have to make an effort to encourage or guide Carmy through conversation. It’s quite creepy.

Thinking on her knowing that his scar was from a fire related incident, that she had to suspect that he did it himself or someone made him do it, and she laughs and played into it and even used Carmy’s moment of vulnerability to do her own trauma dump about her malpractice. WTF. It’s like she had a script in her head to be complaisant and get something out of it and Carmy admitting something so serious needed to be brushed up to accomplish it.

I was just thinking being a sydcarmy shipper is one of the most anguish (even sometimes delightful) experiences I had as a shipper because for some reason we are like 90% of the people that can point out the creepiness of Claire’s character. While other shippers get to enjoy a show that could get better for them if they ship got together, we Sydcarmy have to sit in cold sweat while the show continues to romanticize this horror show that is is Clairexcarmy.

Body language analysis: Carmy x Claire at the wedding (part 1)

The first thing I noticed about this scene is how they never show both of them in one shot. It's a scene they could have shot separately and one wouldn't even notice. Another thing is Carmy's angling. He's angled away from her, his body is mostly facing the direction of the rest of the room. Claire on the other hand is angled towards him. Her body is slightly facing his direction and becomes even more so as the conversation progresses.

The camera pans from his fingers and he's doing that thing he does with his hands when he's nervous or has something he wants to say except he's not nervously nervously worrying his fingers. His hands are unusually steady. He's also not moving around a lot, he's still. Maybe because there are no stakes in this conversation? Maybe he's just too distracted to care where he is? Maybe he's feeling a calmer after naming his actual fear? Maybe we're finally getting to experience that Claire's peace they keep talking about?

Disclaimer: I may or may not sound a little sympathetic even though this...

... is the only Claire I've ever cared about in my life

He starts the conversation by bringing up Syd and her dad, telling Claire he was glad she was there. She responds with a very unconvincing "me too". This move is understandable since Syd just went through a traumatic event and it's a good ice breaker but it's still interesting that Syd seemed to be the first thing on his mind.

Another notable thing is how his attention is outward facing. He's looking at other things- his fingers, people in the room(he seems to fixate on a particular spot in the room), etc, and each time she has to call his attention with her next line of conversation. Maybe he's just being shy, maybe he still feels awkward about the fight but then, they had just had all that moderately pleasant (ick) time under the table so it feels a little out of place

(This is quite different from his body language with Syd where he was almost fusing himself into her even though the subject matter was a more difficult and heavier one)

On Claire's part, she seems eager to catch his attention and keep the conversation going. She's trying harder to connect with him. You can see the eagerness and nervous energy with her body movements

She's mostly nice-ish (if you squint) in this exchange and it even feels as if she's making an effort to be kind but of course the conversation is riddled with many narcissistic misfires and jokes that don't quite land.

It's very tempting to go step by step analysis into the conversation they are having but I think it's a different meta. I just want to point out a few things I noticed.

-This is the first time in real time he looked completely relaxed with her. There was non of that disturbed, constipated look he always had around her. Even her off jokes don't seem to trigger him all that much.

- He's pretty much in the same position the whole time, except for his head which does the whole communication for him. The only time we see him shift his body weight is when she asks him how he's doing and he wonders back how she functions in functions like this

When she responds that she does a better job of hiding how terrible she is at these a contemplative look crosses his face, like he fully understands what she means and maybe he's also doing a good or maybe not so good job hiding something? But I definitely got the hiding something vibes from this

Spit it out, Carm!

- He also looked in two directions, which I interprete as looking at two people, while answering that he's fine. I think he's looking at Richie and Syd, the two people who have anchored him at that wedding.

- She then clarifies that she wants to know about his general mental health not just how he's feeling about the function and he says he's "getting there", which she mirrors the same way she did with the "no idea" in their first meeting.

At this point he decides to tell her about the fire incident - the true story of the burn on his hand. This is where he has that pulling teeth expression again and he struggles to let the words out. Of course it's a very difficult thing to talk about but I also wonder if part of that hesitation was her not being the one he would want to talk about that with, but feels he at least owes her the truth as part of getting square?

Now, this is where this whole exchange gets chilling. She says she knows. She knew! She already immediately knew that he was self harming because of course she's an ER doctor(?) and has seen a lot of injuries. Which makes you wonder again, why she laughed. This re-contextualizes that scene and makes it even worse. It's not the imagining him grabbing a hot pot by mistake that made her laugh, it's the knowledge that he did it on purpose???

Even her body language doesn't show any kind of worry, just a veiled smugness about being right and that ever burning curiosity about people in pain

He tells her that he's trying to tell people things (like Lee suggested). He's trying that out by clearing a misinformation he gave her that is also a vulnerable thing for him. We see this pay off later in the way he was able to be more honest and vulnerable with Sydney and Richie about very personal feelings. This also goes with the theory that Claire is a practice run for him.

She comments that it's terrifying opening up which he agrees. She then asks if "this" is terrifying and he says no. He looks very honest about this answer and there are two options for what that may mean.

1) He's gotten to a place where he is no longer terrified of their relationship or whatever they have going on anymore; or

2) She was never the thing he was scared of in the first place.

The next shot following this scene is of a bear so make of that what you will. Also, read this brilliant post from @thoughtfulchaos773 about a bear.

[yannaryartside]

This

It’s like she cannot stop playing the part of the funny relaxed quirky girlfriend for a second. Not even to actually engage on emphaty or show concern. What a fucking joke

Watching episode where Claire and Carm are together and she asks why he has that scar on his hand instead of being sympathetic she giggles and teases him. Please shut the fuck up. I hope you fucking face plant into a hot pan dude

[yannaryartside]

If this was the point, it was never justified

This is something I've been thinking about for a while, in the context of how much S4 seemed to be pushing the ClairexCarmy agenda, to the point of using Sydney to "give a blessing" to a relationship (and a character) that was never liked by the majority of the audience. This is not a meta, just a think piece that, of course, could be ignoring whatever other force could be dictating this narrative besides the themes that were already established.

Let's pretend that this show is indeed iis being written by people who understand the themes they are discussing, especially those related to mental health. Storer created a story based on his experiences, and let's pretend he indeed can see and portray the complexity of these issues while also creating characters with respect and consciousness. This assumption is quite undermined by how characters of color are treated in the show, but I will move forward as if these writers at least actually see Syd as a person and will make narrative decisions that have actual narrative payoff, rather than using her pain to increase tension for its own sake. But this is not an intent of dismissing the people in the fandom who feel this may be the case; I'm definitely still resentful of the way Sydney's story and perspective have been treated at times.

Now, here is what I think in this supposed context: there is no reason (argumentative or narrative) to make Sydney have feelings for Carmy if they are not gonna end up together.

It's not like there aren't plenty of stories about one-sided love or heartbreak. Especially in the context of people with mental health and other issues that could make them "choose wrong" or behave poorly towards someone who has feelings for them.

It's not about that; it's about storytelling and the decisions that were made (apparently) over the casting of Ayo as Sydney and other changes that were made for the character.

Storer likely has been thinking about making this story for a long time, considering how long it takes to take shows on the run. Because of that, I'll take the filtered scripts for the pilot (and other episodes) as indicative of Storer's original vision for the show.

Sydney's character was supposed to be an avatar of Storer's sister, who is a chef and the culinary supervisor of the show. Sydney is even 5-8 years older than Carmy in the original pilot script. I don't know much about Chicago neighbors, but some people who read the script also assumed the character was white, based on the place she used to live.

So, perhaps before starting to shoot, or even upon casting Ayo, they changed that character concept, and perhaps, on the fly (although I don't believe it), they decided to make Sydney have feelings for Carmen.

But why did they do that? It's not like Sydney ever needed to have feelings for Carmen to make the decisions (and character arc) she has. The core of Sydney's character lies in her desire to take care of others. If anything, her feelings for Carmen could be an obstacle to that intent, but she hasn't let it be. Other characters keep telling us this, including Carmy.

Suppose the point was for Carmen to receive unconditional love and loyalty from a "friend" whom she saw as a sister, as that was the original intent. Why did they decide to make it all messier with her having romantic feelings for him? It makes the message all the more blurry.

Why cast a black woman on purpose and then decide to make her a disposable love interest (when you really didn't intend to have a second love interest to begin with)? Was this just bait?

While also make her "the bear"? If she is the "inferior" or "not the one" love interest we are indeed not supposed to root for, why is she the one given all the weight of the symbol the show is named after? It doesn't make sense at all.

Moreover, all stories and arcs, including those involving heartbreak, have a narrative payoff. The more set up, the more payoff you are supposed to have. It's Syd just supposed to never reveal her feelings for Carmy, for nobody else to find out? How does going through this affect her character for better or worse?

You decide to taint Carmys and Sydney's friendship by implying that Sydney only tolerated Carmys' antics because she had feelings for him and didn't know how to communicate or make a stand to him?, that actually makes her behavior reprehensible and antagonizes her feelings. You cannot do that and try to send a message of tolerance and consideration towards people with mental health issues. She either is naive to belive in him and have feelings for him or she isn’t and her managing (or trying too) of his issues is commendable. These two messages actively collide with each other. It only makes sense if your intent is to showcase the struggles of loving unconditionally someone with these struggles while also helping them to get better. It's not that Carmy owes Sydney affection because of her consideration; it's that indicating that Sydney's feelings for Carmen are somehow misplaced actively gives the narrative a more sinister connotation. And you at least owe the audience an explanation of what they are seeing.

Was Sydney somebody who participated in relationships when she gave more than she received? Was Carmy just another lesson? Why not make that a part of her character arc early on? Did you decide to take advantage of this severe self-esteem issue that many women go through (that is also encouraged by the patriarchy), so the male character could have a free ride and not be judged by the audience as harshly as he could be?

One last point, in romance stories, the character who loves (to the main character and others) more selflessly tends to be the love interest the audience is going to root for, which is based on the love all people dream of receiving. Regardless of whether that's how the real world works, that's how humans see love stories. So, you made Sydney the more considerate, comprehensive character in the show, to make her suffer and sacrifice her own mental health to support the people she loves (not only Carmen). You expected me to not root for her? This character and her arc of growth and self-actualization have been presented throughout the entire show. No, you wanted me to root for her. But I'm not supposed to care for her pain in this whole equation? I'm not supposed to look forward to her getting over this and yet somehow resenting Carmy for "using her" while also disappointing her in multiple ways? To question the meaning of it all?

So, to summarize, this love triangle had no reason to exist and actively makes the story lackluster at best and deeply offensive at worst if he ends with Claire.

I believe that Claire is a person with a lack of empathy, and all of that is intended to explode in the audience's face (and Carmy's face) in a twist. But if it isn't, then all this was indeed a waste of time and a horrible exploration of these themes and dynamics. Ironically, Sydney’s love was indeed the sacrificial lamb.

And this is when my final bias comes in: Carmen is a victim of abuse. He purposely decided to stay in a workplace that was a psychological torture. He chased the approval of a mother who never cared to know him until her favorite son tragically died. This is a character who has repeatedly demonstrated an inability to handle conflict effectively, a lack of boundaries, and a history of virtually no close relationships that were not tainted by some level of toxicity or were not tied to his work or family background. As someone who had a Claire in my life, I do think trauma and the desire for approval make you blind to a person's faults.

And then you decide to write a love interest (that is also, sometimes in suspicious ways, tied to his family history) that has dubious motivations and an inconsistent characterization. Why does he enjoy people at risk so much? Why is she "peace", and at the same time, she causes Carmy panic attacks? Why is she so inconsiderate at times and called wonderful the next? The show really put some time and energy into how much Carmy thinks of her and tries to make the relationship work, the way it took time for Claire to forgive him, and how she felt blindsided (and resentful) of Carmen's mental health issues (or the way she was antagonized by it). And yet, work was also put into making you root for them (edit:maybe just in the way most people root for romance that comes from childhood or has a lot of yearning, even if the yearning had a lot of sinister undertones at times).I really hope this Claire Carmy thing was just a cautionary tale about how you can put a lot of effort into saving relationships that were not meant to be and are being pursued due to trauma. A warning of how we romanticize stuff like this and how difficult it is to see it when you are in the middle of it, and with no therapy or resources to identify what a good relationship is supposed to make you feel.

Having Sydney be the one who actually cares and considers Carmy (and gives him peace), while he is unable to reconcile with it because he is too trapped in self-hate, makes for a better story overall. That Carmy deserves love as broken as he is, but because he is broken, he cannot see love for what it is, and he cannot even see a toxic type of love for what it is. Just real shit.

[yannaryartside]

I have never had an original thought