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fmk (or kmk whicherver ur comfy with) ava, kate, bob

based on the almost top three people you’re most shipped with. (almost cuz i cant stand whatever that thing with bucky is)

I didn’t know people wanted me with other people THAT bad. And Bucky is like a dad to me in no way would I ever get with him.

I have no clue what any of that is so let’s make it my game sneak attack, movie night, and snack run

Sneak attack- Kate. Whoops I did it once and she put up a good fight so it’s good training (I won don’t let her Tell you otherwise)

Movie night ava- she always lets me pick the movies even when she wants to throw me out the window 😍 besides that her shoulder is very comfortable enough to fall asleep on

Snack run- bob. He has the best snack taste ever and he knows where to hide them so super soldiers don’t eat all of them before us

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It’s Casablanca! Even Bucky likes that movie

If one more person asks me if I’m okay, I will throw them out the nearest window.

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I’m sorry if you wake up to tears being shed that love just does something to me

If one more person asks me if I’m okay, I will throw them out the nearest window.

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When am I ever okay?

Currently about to chuck myself out of a window 😍😍

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Tonight we’re going total classic and watching Casablanca

If one more person asks me if I’m okay, I will throw them out the nearest window.

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HEY JTS A GOOD IDEA

Currently about to chuck myself out of a window 😍😍

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“Let’s just go home and I’ll get everyone something later Kay’? *yelena props them up and is able to help walk them out of the cafe. They’re lighter compared to the time she had to drag Bucky after the whole void thing*

*They threw their phone across the living room, flopping into the couch, and turning over to bury themselves in the cushions, and groaning as loud as they could.*

*I notice them plop down right next to me seeming to be in a mood* “are you okay…need to talk about it?”

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I’m too tried for this and so are you so let’s just watch a movie and relax

Look I’ll even let you pick! No arguments

If one more person asks me if I’m okay, I will throw them out the nearest window.

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Please you wouldn’t throw me out the window then we can’t talk shit about anyone

If one more person asks me if I’m okay, I will throw them out the nearest window.

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Are you okay?

If one more person asks me if I’m okay, I will throw them out the nearest window.

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Bet

Currently about to chuck myself out of a window 😍😍

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Ohh! That's so sweet I'd love a date like that (you can probably guess it's the same anon already)

Follow up question, what would the ideal person to go on that date with you be like?

Someone who knows me. I don’t want to waste time on someone who can’t deal with a thunderbolt.

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What would your dream date look liek?

Probably just a night in. Movies we both like and just us. Maybe out but at a small secluded place where we can’t really be bothered

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It’s okay just next time something big happens just let us know okay?

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I’ll go get your coffee just lay down before all the adrenaline wears out and you feel like shit

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How’s the concussion? Why are you walking around you should be in bed rest and sleeping!

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No you’re definitely talented. There’s a reason you’re an avenger

Can you rate different methods of unaliving you've had to do during your assassin work?

I probably shouldn't answer this to avoid inspiring someone that's stumbled across this for the wrong reasons, but I'm going to do so anyway.

TW: (i feel like this needs one) non-graphic discussion of killing methods

Stabbing: 8/10 — albeit messy, gets the job done. Minus points for the amount of cleaning you need to do after (To the weapons, mostly. Body doesn't matter that much.).

Shooting (Gun): 9/10 – probably my preferred one. There are so many guns for so many different purposes, you'll end up finding the perfect one. It's silent, fast, doesn't leave a trace if done properly. One point off for how easy it is to accidentally leave a bullet as evidence on the crime scene. I never do it, I'm far too good, but still.

Shooting (Bow): 6/10 – don't let Hawkeye fool you, archery is not that easy. If you want a good, long shot, you'll need a bow with at least 40lbs draw weight. It's not that much once you do it for a while, but it gets tiring pretty fast. If you happen to be an average bow user, the building and adjusting of them takes a long time, so it's not a quick access weapon. The type of bow also changes the effectiveness a lot. The points come purely from the fact that bows are cool, and arrows make a clean shot if you can aim well.

Choking: 7/10 – does what it needs to do. Not fun, but clean and quick. Just make sure the person you're choking can't kick while you do so.

Other hand-to-hand battle methods: 2/10 – not my thing. Honestly, I don't think I have killed anyone by hand before, and I'm not going to unless absolutely forced to. Points only for cleanliness.

External causes (e.g drowning): 5/10 – not my thing either. I prefer being able to do it quick and silently, so dragging the person to a source of water or vice versa goes against it, as do most other external causes of death.

Torture: 1/10 – no thank you. It depends on the method of torture, of course, but I'd also refer to the previous one on this. If I'm going to kill someone, I'm not going to do it sadistically for the sake of seeing someone suffer. That's not my job.

I think that's all, but do ask if you want more specific ratings.