yhomtorkec4nt

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i KNOW mattheo is smashing his head against the wall over "like him" by tyler the creator

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Therapist: Do you think 14-year-old you would be proud of you? Mattheo: Listen, I’m not here to impress a mentally ill child.

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weird goofy mattheo riddle headcanons

no warnings, this is just something to giggle at,

and I'm bored, kinda weird

hates muggles but sings the fifty nifty united states

Is convinced that every muggle he thinks are talented are wizards or witches

Always looks annoyed

Certified yapper

Horrible sleep schedule

Likes animals but not bugs

5'11 but always says he's 6'1 tall

A big classic music fan but hates Mozart because he thinks Mozart is too basic

Convinced that the Beatles are all magic

Chronic procasinator

Shirt stealer (picks up any shirt that's on the floor and most of them are dracos shirt or Blaise's shirt)

doesn't say bless you when someone sneeze, but he just stares into their soul

Somehow is always the first to notice when someone's zipper is open

says 'oh my days' as a joke, but then he can't stop saying it

Always scared that he's balding (he keeps asking Draco to look at a certain patch of his hair say 'am I balding? ')

Babysits first years (the first years hate him, so they just stay silent and do anything at all and the parents, also the teachers are thrilled)

'Babysits' = gives a pack of boys chocolate frog so they would shut up (works)

When he's offended he just stays silent and frowns

Takes things to heart

Bonus : his favorite brainrot thingie must be the talking nugget or meow meow meow meow

I'm so sorry I'm just bored 💞🩷🪼🪷🫦

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"nobody is judging you" wrong, my mother is seemingly always judging every single stranger she sees

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i have no idea where mattheo riddle comes from but god bless the person who created him. my life has never been the same since. it changed the trajectory of earth. everything has a meaning now. the birds are singing and the sun is shining. also i’m mentally unwell but i don’t care. i love him.

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myyy maaaann

myyy maan mymanmymanmyman

MY MAAAAAAAN!!!

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*skips tutorial* how the fuck do you play this game

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love blooms in strange places

When Mattheo was assigned to help you tend to the greenhouse as punishment, he never expect detention could be so pleasant.

Mattheo Riddle x f!Reader | Based on this request

Warning: fluff, one use of y/n, used my creative license to come up with plant lore and magic to serve the plot.

✿ Masterlist | Event Masterlist | Tea Party | 1.7k words

When Mattheo Riddle started his day, the greenhouse was the last place he expected he would be. Yet that’s exactly where he was headed, kicking up dirt as he went.

Snape’s words haunted him as he slowed to the door. “Mr. Riddle, you had been in detention several times just this month alone. If you will not learn by reflection, you will learn by deed. As punishment, you will have to help y/n cultivate plants for a week.”

Before Mattheo could open his mouth, Snape raised his hand. “Any protests and we will make it a month.” He knew better than to talk.

He shook his head as he opened the door, eager to get it over with. He took in pots and plants of various shades of green, color sprouting sporadically where flowers and fruits blossomed. Then there was you.

You saw the curly haired boy approach, Mattheo Riddle, you recalled. Everything about him spelled trouble from the frown fixed on his face, to his askew tie, and the way he strut as if the entire world bent to his will.

You smiled and introduced yourself politely. Your mum after all had raised you to give others a chance. To look beyond first impressions.

Still, it didn’t surprise you when his frown stayed glued to his face. “Mattheo Riddle,” he just stated by way of introduction. “Here’s how this will work. I’m going to stay here,” he said, grabbing a chair at the side of the greenhouse and taking a seat. “I’ll stay out of your way, you stay out of mine. When the time is over, I’ll walk away. Nice and simple.”

“So you’ll just let me do all the work?” You huffed, your fists clenched by your side.

“Glad you’re catching on, darling. Go on. Some would say it’s a privilege to be around me but it’s okay if you don’t see that yet.” He flashed you a shit eating grin and propped his legs up the table across him. Such a shame. He’d probably be handsome if his personality weren’t so rotten.

You caught yourself and your expression turned livid. “No, being around you is punishment. I don’t know what I did to Snape to deserve this,” you huffed.

Your mum may have raised you to be polite, but she also taught you to stand up against bullies. You strode over to the arrogant boy, plucking a bearded iris on your way. You crushed it beneath your fingers, muttering an incantation.

When you were close enough, you hurled the crushed petals at his feet. Upon impact, sparks burst. Bright searing sprays of light was accompanied by a loud bang.

Mattheo dodged it, losing his balance. His chair tipped backwards. He crashed to the floor.

The bearded iris was otherwise called the firebreather iris. He should have known better than to challenge you.

You towered over him. “You will help me as Snape intended. It’s bad enough I have to spend time with you. You will make yourself useful or that,” you pointed at the ashes of the firebreather iris, “is just the beginning of what I can do. There are poisonous plants around here like nightshade. I will not hesitate to use them and make it look like an accident.”

He looked at you as if he saw you for the first time. The fire was brighter in your eyes than the spark you had thrown. He was silent for a beat as he recalled what Theo warned him about nice girls. You never wanted to see them mad. They were always more clever and therefore more dangerous.

As much as he loved danger, he very much preferred to stay alive. Besides, things just got more interesting. He schooled his face to a bored expression. “Fine,” he said standing back up and dusting the dirt from his clothes and hair. “If you teach me that cool trick, I’ll help out.”

“Stick around and I’ll teach you a few things,” you nodded, satisfied. You tossed him a pair of gloves. “We’ll start here, plant boy.” He suppressed the smile that threatened to break across his features. It was fascinating how you snapped quickly back to your good natured self, as if you weren’t just threatening him moments earlier. If there was anything Mattheo loved, it was a challenge.

As he put on the gloves, he felt detention wouldn’t be so bad after all.

Threatened by the poison and lured in by the idea of learning plant magic, Mattheo had surprisingly been a helpful herbology partner.

Yes, he was stubborn and annoying. But at the end of the day, he was quick to pick up the steps, memorizing which fertilizer to use for what plant, and how much water each plant needed.

The weeks quickly passed and you found a comfortable rhythm. You just had to put up with those terrible lines.

“Are you a flower bed?” Mattheo asked, his face streaked with dirt as he hauled another bag of soil.

“What is it this time?” You rolled your eyes. You found it impossibly adorable and ridiculous how he managed to get dirt all over his face despite wearing gloves and other gardening gear.

“Let’s pretend you asked me why. ‘Cause I want to lay you down and get dirty,” Mattheo said with his signature smirk.

You tried not to laugh, but you couldn’t wipe the silly grin off your face. Mattheo considered it a win. “That seriously works for you?” You pointed in his general direction. “I’d rather choke on a cactus,” you beamed.

Mattheo chuckled, “then I want to be a cactus.”

“Oh why, because you’re a prick?” You retorted, shoveling more soil to the new pot.

“No, you can’t use these lines against me,” he said, narrowing his eyes, grabbing a handful of soil.

“Don’t be such a weeping willow about it,” you quipped. “And I swear if you throw that lump of soil, you’ll have to clean it up.”

“Why don’t we go straight to the cleaning part?” He teased instead, returning the soil. He grabbed the water hose nearby and turned it on, aiming it directly at you.

Before you could react, you felt a steady stream of water hit you, the cold shocking your entire system. “You really did it,” you muttered uselessly, releasing a string of curses as you gathered your wits about you.

You ran after him, but he was quick to deflect, running off the opposite direction, taking the hose with him. Five steps in, you slipped on the mud and landed on your back. The wind rushed out your lungs and you laid there recovering your breath.

“Salazar! Are you ok?” He asked, running towards you.

“Come here,” you spoke softly and he leaned in to hear you.

“My name is not Salazar,” you declared when he was close enough. “It’s an expressio—“ he tried to explain but in one swift motion, you grabbed the collar of his shirt. The surprise was enough to send him down the floor. He slipped in the mud and joined you. You grabbed the hose from him and sprayed him with water.

He flailed for a few seconds before he caught purchase and rolled over you, yanking the hose away and then switching it off. You both found yourselves in hysterics, bodies shaking from the cold and laughter.

“I can’t believe it. You really laid me down and got me dirty,” you managed to say in between laughter.

“This is not what I meant. But if you want to know what I mean,” he said, tucking a strand of hair behind your ear. But he was rendered speechless, the words and laughter faded in his throat.

He didn’t think it was possible. But up close, you were even more beautiful with your captivating eyes and kissable lips.

His intense gaze stole the laughter and breath from your lungs. You felt his heartbeat drum against yours, your breaths mingled with one another.

It sunk in then that he was on top of you, gazing at you like he wanted to do a hundred and one sinful things to you. He had a forest full of desires and you wanted to explore every corner of it. To go on an adventure with him. So you did.

You weren’t sure who started it, but the next second you found yourselves kissing each other. It was better than any euphoria that plants could induce. His lips felt surprisingly soft and he started off tentative, seeing if you were okay with it. You just needed more and he quickly matched your pace, taking in as much of you as he could.

He was no longer gentle and he ran his hand through your mud streaked hair, holding you just where he needed you, deepening the kiss. You tugged on his hair in return and he rewarded you with a groan, his chest rumbling against you. He licked your lower lip, prompting you to open your mouth as his tongue darted in, exploring until you both needed to come up for air. Panting against each other.

“Why are you looking at me like I just kicked a puppy?” He asked.

You shook your head. “You’re just a boy trying to get through detention,” you stated.

“Darling, my detention was only a week long,” he admitted.

Your eyes widened. “But this is your third week helping me.”

“I’m here because I want to be,” he said, kissing you on the nose.

“You’re not afraid I’d poison you?” You narrowed your eyes, recalling your threat.

“I looked it up. The nightshade you mentioned that first week isn’t even poisonous. You never meant to poison me, dear.”

“But you fell for it, that’s what mattered,” you insisted.

“Maybe it’s you I’ve pollen for,” he quipped.

“You’re never gonna stop with the plant puns, aren’t you?”

“No, because you’re ivy and you’ve fully crept in my thoughts. Next, you can creep in my—” you kissed him then to shut him up. He didn’t seem to mind at all. You really had had enough of his silly plant puns, even though you couldn’t get enough of him.

✿ Masterlist | Event Masterlist | Tea Party

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mattheo riddle is canonically a pothead and no one can convince me otherwise

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Heaven-Sent

Mattheo Riddle x Reader

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mattheo had a rough childhood - we all know this. he’s not used to being sweet, or gentle. when you first met him, this is something you had to keep in mind.

the name riddle doesn’t come without negative connotations. it’s true - he was aggressive at times, he was angry more often than was necessary, and he just never really tried to be different. he wanted to stray from his family name, but no matter what he did, he just couldn’t.

however, he was loyal, and smart, and he had a great sense of humor - all things that inevitably led you to fall in love with him. theo had told you during the first week of meeting you that you had to not only be patient with mattheo, but you also needed thick skin; something he learned quickly upon becoming friends with him. so, all this to say that dating him is not all sunshine and rainbows.

once he lets himself fall in love with you, you’ll find it difficult to get rid of him. in some cases, he can be clingy and want to be around you constantly, but on other days he’ll shut you out completely and go practically non verbal. it’s a mix of both, and the intensity of these two moods can get overwhelming.

he has trouble trusting you fully. it can get toxic if you let it, but when you’re persistent enough, he will understand his errors and try to stop himself from his insecurities and fears. through all of his faults, he does truly love you, and if you’re honest with him he will want to change for you.

sometimes he picks fights over silly little things, and you have to stand your ground or else he’ll walk all over you and make you feel bad for something that usually isn’t your fault. he’s overly sensitive, but he sees it as a reasonable way to act. you have to prove him wrong. yes he’s an adult and he should know these things - but remember, he didn’t have good examples growing up.

there will be times where you cry, or he cries and argues. you have to push yourself to make up and work through these problems. mattheo is afraid that you’ll abandon him, which results in some not-so savory behaviors on his part, but no matter how enticing, don’t let yourself cast him aside. he really is worth the effort.

eventually he realized that if he keeps up this act, he’ll lose you (after a long and arduous night of yelling). bit by bit, you saw changes. he holds the door open for you more often, letting you walk ahead as he follows close behind. he stops himself from making unnecessary comments when you hang out with your male friends - because he really does hate making you upset, but he can’t control his words sometimes. instead, he tries to keep a smile on his face as his hands toy with the hem of your jeans.

you notice the switch pretty early on. he’s more open, and he wants to be vocal about things that are bothering him, even if they seem small and irrelevant. you’re there to squash his worries whenever he needs it.

he starts buying you gifts. it’s well-known that he’s not the best with words, but his favorite way to show his love is through physical acts. he gets you flowers and teddies, and sometimes scours the village to find your most beloved snacks. mattheo also likes to tie your shoes for you, a simple but sweet way to show he cares for you.

one night you pointed out to him that you hadn’t argued in a whole week, and he only smiled and pulled you in for a hug, the ghost of an apology gracing his lips. he was sorry for all the hardships you went through at the beginning, but he is so grateful that you stuck around to see him change.

there are times when he lays awake and watches you sleep, the way your even breaths match his own makes him feel more calm than he’s felt his entire life. he vowed to never let your pretty face be overcome by tears ever again - especially not by his doing.

he never yells anymore, at least not at you. mattheo starts to believe you when you tell him that there’s better ways to deal with his anger than just violence - and the first time he walked away from a fight instead of butting in head first, you were overjoyed. he really wanted to make you proud.

mattheo becomes a better person every day because of you. because you believe in him and genuinely think he can escape his family name if he pushes himself hard enough. you never looked at him any differently, even when he’d come to you covered in blood and bruises. you always held that same soft look in your eyes, the same one that he found himself looking at you with. his heart feels lighter, and his love for you is so gentle that it scares him sometimes.

you never gave up on him - so he’ll spend his whole life trying to become deserving of you, his own personal angel.

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mattheo riddle is a soft lover!

he’s aware of his reputation, he knows what people think of him - what they expect. however, he also knows that nobody will truly understand who he is deep down. he’s pushed that person away for years, but when he falls in love, his true persona comes out. he’s not as cold anymore, and he smiles more often. a real, genuine one, not the sarcastic smirk that his friends are used to. he will give the clothes off his back if you need it - he’ll go through hell and back to make sure you’re safe, and if he had it his way, you would never have to worry about anything ever again. he’s smart, something you were surprised to find out, so on days where you were overwhelmed; he would offer to do the homework for you or tutor you on things that were confusing. he slips his scarf over your head when he spots you shivering, he kneels before you to tie your shoes, your foot resting on his knee, and at night, he kisses you goodnight and soothes you to sleep. mattheo knows how to handle difficult people - considering who he is and who he’s friends with. you can scream, kick, cry at him, and all he’d do is whisper to you and bring you into his arms no matter what the problem was. he has days where he’s slow and romantic, his eyes droopy as he lays in bed, gaze only on you for the longest time. he becomes so selfless - as if it was the most natural thing in the world for him to protect you with his everything, to give you the best possible life he can offer. when he finally finds someone who accepts him for who he is, the good and the bad, he knows he never wants to let go - and he knows he wants to make them feel so loved and cared for, just like how he feels with them.

but he can be just as rough as he is soft… 😋

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𖤐 MATTHEO RIDDLE is a wizard with chocolate brown eyes that have a mischievous glint to them, slightly crooked nose, singular dimple, unruly curls, cold hands, veiny forearms, insomnia, dark eye bags, cruel mother, ability to see thestrals, suppressed wish to die, soft spot for all his friends, slight weed addiction, touch for his love language, anger issues, cold exterior but gentle interior, repeating nightmares, playboy reputation, secret wish for a soulmate, low self esteem, bisexual tendencies, natural intelligence, fear of vulnerability.

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Pansy: Sunbathing is definitely in my top 5 favorite activities. Hermione: What are the others? Pansy: Cursing things. Shutting stupid people down verbally. Bubble baths. Masturbating.