youngprofesser

[youngprofesser]

Update: it is no longer smushed. idk how or why but I am glad :)

AO3 why are you smushed on moblie :(

AO3 can you hear me why are you smushed :(

[youngprofesser]

AO3 why are you smushed on moblie :(

AO3 can you hear me why are you smushed :(

[youngprofesser]

Pre-getting together Mace/Jaster scene. Think first time seeing each other on purpose.

Jaster’s been watching Mace throughout the evening, trying to figure out when he can slip in and get him alone. Unfortunately, his movements don't seem to have any discernible pattern, and after a while Jaster even loses sight of him. He huffs, decides to abandon this position to find one with a better vantage point. He foregoes the main staircase,  and turning into a hallway that he’s 80% sure will lead to a staircase who should he see but Mace walking towards him. 

He stops. Jaster stops. He nods a greeting but doesn't smile. “Jaster Mereel.”

“Mace, I was hoping to catch you alone. I wanted to thank you for the invitation.” 

Mace remains neutral. “The governor is the one who invited you.”

“I doubt that the governor knew of my involvement on her own. And I doubt that you would have told her if you had not wanted her to invite me.”

Mace is quiet, looking at him sabacc-faced. 

“Am I wrong?” Jaster presses after a moment, knowing that he’s not. 

“It is as you say.” 

Mace lifts an attractive hand and deliberately presses it to Jaster’s chest plate over his heart, which experiences a sudden and severe case of arrhythmia that has nothing to do with past encounters with cannon bolts. The Jedi either has acted upon a marvelous amount of luck, or didn't fully understand whoever explained Mandalorian communication to him, because though the initial gesture is the correct one to communicate interest, the fact that he not only leaves it there but uses it to lean into the space between them instead of the proper thump and retreat makes it feel scandalous to do here in public.

“I invited you,” Mace continues, voice volumed low just for Jaster’s ears. “Because I wanted to see you again.”

Jaster can’t bear the extended contact any longer, his face burning under his helmet. He takes the tiniest step back, and the Jedi removes his hand the instant he shifts his weight. He doesn’t seem to take it as rejection, though. Which is a relief because the last thing that Jaster wants for him to leave.

“Mission accomplished.” He says, grateful that his voice comes out smooth even as he cringes inwardly. Is that really the best he could come up with? “I’ll give you my comm code, so next time you don’t have to go through bureaucracy to ask me out.”

Mace’s lips tighten and slant into something that isn’t a smile but isn’t exactly not. “That would be appreciated. Though I hope that the fact that I went through bureaucracy goes to show just how much I enjoy your company.”

Jaster laughs at what he thinks is a joke. Or humor, at least. “I’m honored.” He carefully plucks Mace’s comm out of his hand without brushing his palm with his fingertips. “Though I’ll invite you next time, so it’s fair. Do you usually have dates at political affairs, or can we do something a bit more casual?”

“I don’t usually have dates at all.” He isn’t joking this time. “But I’d prefer that you pick something that you enjoy, so that I can get to know you more.”

I know that they’re called Jedi Knights, but this is just ridiculous. Jaster thinks, feeling himself blush again. Chivalry isn’t something that he’s ever been on the receiving end of. He’s not really sure what to do with himself, dropping Mace’s comm back into his hand. 

“Message me some dates and times you’re free.” He says. “And where. I’ll set something up.”

Mace nods. “I’ll look forward to it.” His voice is warmer than Jaster has ever heard it, and he can't help but smile even though Mace can’t see him. 

“Me too.”

one must imagine Mace in the hallway 5 sec before Jaster turns the corner, frantically searching up "how to show a Mandalorian you're interested in them."

[youngprofesser]

Mace Windu for Star Wars Unlimited | illustrated by Renato Giacomini

[youngprofesser]

Idk how strict jaster is canonically is with the "helmet stays on" thing so I have decided that he will keep it in unless surrounded by exclusively other mandalorians. He'll make an exception for a non-mando lover, of course. So here's Mace's first time seeing Jaster's face.

“You can hang your robe here by the door.” Jaster says, pulling Mace’s attention back to him. He waits until Mace is looking at him before reaching to his neck and pulling his helmet off. The movement would be casual, though obviously deliberately so, if not for the way that the Jaster’s emotions weigh heavy with significance.

Mace watches with every bit of rapt attention and respect that Jaster deserves. He knows that Jaster’s human, has a vague impression of his skin and hair color from the little he’s seen of his neck, but nothing else. He’s chosen not to try and construct a mental imagine of his physical form, not wanting to misrepresent him even in his mind. Though seeing Jaster’s face for the first time, Mace doesn't think that any of imaginings would have come close.

He's pale brown in complexion with dark hair that was clearly shaved at some point but now swirls with the beginning of curls pressed flat about his head, thinning about his temples. It's apparent that he's been clean shaven sometime recently, but he’s sporting a shadow in his neck, upper lip, and cheeks. His eyes are small in proportion to his nose and set deep under a thick brow bone.

He's handsome. Mace tells him such, and he smiles and in combination with feeling his happiness in the force Mace can see that when Jaster smiles his skin crinkles into crows feet at the corners of his eyes and suddenly he's the most exceptionally beautiful person that Mace has ever seen.

Mace experiences a sudden and strong desire to march forwards and kiss him just there at the outside point of his left eye where he'll be able to feel the soft elasticity of those wrinkles under his lips. He doesn't, but he catalogues the feeling away for a later date when it will be appropriate to act upon it.

Note: I imagine Jaster Turkish or Iranian looking. He like never sees the sun so he's not tan, but he's still kinda rough/rugged looking just bc of the lifestyle he leads.

[youngprofesser]

I'm continuing to love this Mace Windu book for how it portrays the Jedi lifestyle (and also, it's just a fun and engaging read):

The continued emphasis on the Jedi “discipline” as not a stuffy, fun-hating rule, but something the culture chooses and enjoys and finds soothing, a common form of self-care for psychic empaths, hooked mentally into the overwhelming all-powerful energy source at the heart of existence. It makes sense, I love it.

Once again, a Jedi going off on a mission of personal importance rather than Official Jedi Business and the Council is totally fine with it, Yoda even encourages Mace to go and gives him a pep talk to stay at it when he's feeling discouraged on said personal trip

 YES I KNEW JEDI PRACTICED THEIR FORMS ALONE UNARMED/WITH THEIR LIGHTSABERS OFF I KNEW IT - really, Mace's relationship to Vaapad is depicted right out of my lightsaber form loving dreams. It's SO personal. It's such a big part of his life.

Oddly touched by Mace thinking about how much sleep he gets (usually six hours) and then getting cranky and disoriented when he’s having insomnia/bad dreams and it gets knocked down to three-ish. Y'all know I have a weakness for Jedi running up against their normal living being physical limits despite being fancy space wizards.

[youngprofesser]

[youngprofesser]

Part of my Mace/Jaster AU has officially hit AO3

Not a scene that I've put on Tumblr, and not even the one I was planning on posting. But it just wrote so nicely that I had to.

[youngprofesser]

Reread some of Glass Abyss this weekend and it gave me Thoughts

There was one line in which Mace thinks something like (paraphrasing) "at the limits of exhaustion is where Jedi training begins."

Side note: this is immediately followed by smth like "a ten klick run before training is common." While I can't run for shit I know some runners that eat 10km runs for breakfast so idk how great of an example that is but I digress

Anyway it really got me thinking about how fuckin intense Jedi training must be given that the objective is literally "learn to survive any impossible situation."

And THAT got me thinking about how that intensity is the reason that the Master/Padawan bond exists and is a necessary part of training. Given that the training that a Padawan must do is designed to take them past their mental/physical/emotional limits, its imperative to make sure that the Master conducting the training is able to know them inside and out, to know when is enough. And for a Padawan to feel like they literally can't take anymore but still be told to keep going, they have to have complete and total trust in their Master that they won't be pushed to literal death.

And agh it's just so interesting to think about the sheer intensity of Jedi training, and it's something I feel like I've neglected in my own writing. And now I want to rewrite half of my works just to reflect it.

[youngprofesser]

This is such an interesting point to make about strong Force-Sensitives whose parents say no to the Jedi Order, that there can be a loneliness to it, how they would always be a little apart from everyone else. They're too fast, they're too fearless, they're too strong, they might know things they have no way of knowing, they might know things before they happen, they might look right through all their friends, they might hear things or see things the others can't, they're always there a few seconds before you. The others can't keep up with you and it can be isolating, to have this thing in your soul, always calling out to you, to have these connections and abilities teasing at you, not ones you can fully grasp, you've never been trained with them, but always just at the edge of your fingertips, so you can run a little faster than you should, you can jump a little higher than you should, you can face things that should make you a little more afraid, and you're just a little off what you should be. Instead, Mace grew up with people who were like him, who understood who he was and helped him understand not just his abilities, but himself as someone connected to the Force and as a person. He grew up with people who might not be as good as he was, he's one of the best in the galaxy after all, but who were in his league, who celebrated his otherworldly achievements and made it so that he himself was not otherworldly, because his family was right there with him. I JUST LOVE JEDI BEING FAMILY AND COMMUNITY FOR EACH OTHER SO MUCH, I LOVE THAT FINDING EACH OTHER MEANS THEY'RE NOT ALONE IN HOW THEY CONNECT OR HOW THEY FEEL OR HOW THEY THINK, THAT THERE ARE PEOPLE WHO ARE LIKE THEMSELVES AND WHO AREN'T AFRAID OF THEM, INSTEAD ARE RIGHT THERE WITH THEM.

[youngprofesser]

Short answer- no there's not really a way to make everything line up between info we get from legends (shatterpoint) and cannon timeline. The timeline that I choose to believe to sort of takes aspects from both to make it work.

If you want to keep Mace's cannon birth date I use Mace being knighted/finding Depa (as an infant, so 6mo-1 years old) when he is 19 (53BBY), giving him ~10 years to get his mastery and then take Depa as his Padawan once she is 11 (43 BBY). The length of her apprenticeship doesn't really matter, as long as she's made Master by 32 BBY (age 21, which is crazy but given that she is to be the youngest ever before Anakin, checks out.)

Though tbh I prefer to just move Mace's birth date back around 5 years (77bby), then have her be knighted at age 21 (now 37 bby), giving her like 4 years of knighthood before she ascends to councilor at age 25. Which I find to be more reasonable.

(edit, realized I didn't address the 40 BBY thing. I choose to ignore it for my own convenience, but could be fixed in the alt timeline by having Depa be found when Mace is a Padawan and the rest as you say, just making the age gap a bit wider.)

Please, can anyone help with this?

I'm trying to figure out the ages and important dates for Mace and Depa, but nithing lines up correctly.

Mace was supposedly born in 72 BBY. We don't have a date for his knighting, but he supposedly gained his mastery at 28 through Vapaad (in legends) which would be in 44BBY. BUT he's also supposed to be on the council during Nim's death in 48 BBY. He gains his mastery in the Tales of the Jedi episode 'choices', which has no dating but has to take place between 50 and 48 BBY. If you don't say he got knighted at 28 like in legends, then he got his Mastery EVEN YOUNGER, which doesn't sound feasable.

Now, i couldn't find any dates for Depa, aside from her being supposed to be on the council in 40 BBY, which makes NO sense, if her master only joined the council a few years earlier, and him becoming a master at 28 is already extraordinary.

If Mace took Depa on immediatly after his Knighting at 19, which is very young, and Depa was already like 16 (meaning she was born in 69 BBY and they have the smallest master-padawan age gap), it could theoretically fit. This is the age that Dooku got taken ona as a Padawan. She then would've joined the council at 29, which would mean that she spend an astronomically small amount of time as a knight and Padawan before she became a Master. Due to this making Dapa and Mace almost the same age and making the length of her apprenticeship and knightship so short, I also don't think that makes sense.

Does anyone have an Idea how to make this work? I always thought Depa joined the council shortly before the mission to Naboo in 32 BBY, and that she was like at least seven years younger than Mace.

[youngprofesser]

‧₊˚- ✧ - ˚₊‧

All Mace Windu had wanted was a sip of caf and a bite off of a granola bar. If he had known that this would end with the Council having a sleepover in his chambers, he'd probably have stayed in his office…. Or would he?

‧₊˚- ✧ - ˚₊‧

(Aka: Bilbo and the dwarves but make it Mace Windu and the Jedi Council instead. My entry for Jedi june week 3 :D @jedijune)

[youngprofesser]

Well I thought of a title guess it has to go on AO3 now (eventually)

To attempt and contextualize my Mace/Jaster AU:

all of the locations in my Mace/Jaster works (unless otherwise specified) are literally anywhere. In my head every few months they find a time when they are both free and escape to some space Airbnb for a few days.

This only works bc this is a universe in which Plageuis and Palpatine simply do not exist. The Republic is simply Republicing as usual As it did for thousands of years before canon events, and thus they can find the time.

Death watch does still exist bc there are still problems in the galaxy of course. Jaster survives that encounter (obvs) and that's all before he meets Mace. I'm not the most well versed in mandalorian stuff, so while I did write that he's still the Mand'alor, I might take that back and say that Jango is by this time (as in cannon) and Jaster advises him but isn't the figurehead these days. Idk.

At the end of the day I don't suppose it matters too much, this is my entirely self indulgent and nonsensical AU world where everybody is happy and nothing ever bad happens until I say so.

[youngprofesser]

To attempt and contextualize my Mace/Jaster AU:

all of the locations in my Mace/Jaster works (unless otherwise specified) are literally anywhere. In my head every few months they find a time when they are both free and escape to some space Airbnb for a few days.

This only works bc this is a universe in which Plageuis and Palpatine simply do not exist. The Republic is simply Republicing as usual As it did for thousands of years before canon events, and thus they can find the time.

Death watch does still exist bc there are still problems in the galaxy of course. Jaster survives that encounter (obvs) and that's all before he meets Mace. I'm not the most well versed in mandalorian stuff, so while I did write that he's still the Mand'alor, I might take that back and say that Jango is by this time (as in cannon) and Jaster advises him but isn't the figurehead these days. Idk.

At the end of the day I don't suppose it matters too much, this is my entirely self indulgent and nonsensical AU world where everybody is happy and nothing ever bad happens until I say so.

[youngprofesser]

A big part of my fascination with writing Mace/Jaster is getting to explore the Jedi from the outside from the perspective of someone (jaster) who is seeking understanding of their culture and whatnot for practical relational purposes,

As opposed to trying to critique or change it in any way as I find a lot of fics do. So that's the first half of this. The second part is just that I think Mace and Yoda's coworker/close friend/mentor relationship is chronically underappreciated.

Mace is meditating when Jaster wakes from his impromptu nap. (He must be getting old, he's taking naps now.) Jaster doesn't want to disturb him, so he dons his armor and sets out for the market that's down the hill from their accommodation to find some ingredients for dinner.

His translator starts acting up after the first stall he stops at, so the rest of the trip takes much longer than anticipated. But eventually he returns back to the house with a bag of what he’s mostly sure are non-toxic foods. Mace is still meditating, so he sets his helmet down to the side and starts making dinner on his own. Half an hour into the process there's a rustle of fabric behind him. Jaster glances behind him, almost jumps at Mace standing just a few steps from him. He looks… far away. Unfocused. It's odd enough for him to set the stove to auto cook and fully turn around to face him.

“You alright?” He asks, watching Mace’s gaze float around his general direction. He doesn't answer, just sort of stands there. This is becoming concerning. “I need words, Mace.” He says, in case he's forgotten, as he does every now and then that Jaster isn't a Jedi and can't feel his feelings or whatever they do.

Mace looks at him another long moment, then blinks back into focus, his throat bobbing as he swallows. “Jas.” Is all he says, reaching for him slowly. Jaster steps away from the cooker so that he can be caught by the hips, and Mace immediately presses close, nudging his face into the bare skin above the neck of his flightsuit and deliberately breathing in.

Jaster bewilderly brings his hands up to rest on Mace’s shoulders, entirely confused by this behavior. He's not being affectionate. The word “seeking” comes to mind. Not ”desperate”, Mace isn't exactly grabbing him, but still he can feel the firmness of his grip even though his hip pads. It's uncompromising, holding him in place not letting him move in a way that Mace never is, feeling almost possessive.

And that's certainly something. Jaster doesn't exactly mind. But Mace (at least, Mace in his right mind,) does.

“Talk to me.” Jaster says, directly into Mace’s ear considering how he's positioned. He rubs his shoulder to get his attention in a way that he hopes is at least a bit soothing in the face of whatever this is. “Are you-” He struggles to remember the Jedi word for it. “Are you mindful right now?”

Against his neck, Mace stops breathing for a moment. Then he huffs.

“Yes.” He says, half muffled in the fabric of his flightsuit. “Too long in infinity. You're right here with me.”

Jaster chooses not to even attempt to interpret what half of that means, deciding to focus on the part he can understand.

“I'm right here with you.” He repeats, squeezing both his shoulders. “Are you with me?”

Mace breathes steadily once, twice.

“Yes.” He picks himself up off of Jaster’s shoulder, draws his hands back to his sides. Jaster watches him closely as he backs away. His eyes are back to focused and clear, and he flexes his jaw, rolls his shoulders like he's re-aligning himself back with his body before turning his attention to Jaster.

“I'm sorry if I frightened you.” He says, brisk and straightforward as usual. “My meditation was… intense. It was a struggle enough to pull back into my body to move, finding grounding was the priority over letting you know what was going on.”

That sounds terrifying. Jaster has been plenty informed about the Force philosophically over the years, but he's never thought to inquire about how it actually feels to be connected to it the way Mace is. He's never thought to.

“So you're alright?” He asks, mentally running through the emergency med-checks he knows how to do and finding none of them really apply to ‘stuck in meditation.’ Concussion protocol might be the closest.

“I'm fine now.” Mace swipes his hands back and forth over his tunic, then reaches for his belt. “I must comm Master Yoda. I'll be outside.”

“How long will you be?” Jaster calls after him. “Should I hold off on finishing the food?”

“He knows why I'm calling, it will be prompt.”

That's not a real answer, but Mace is already out the door.

—

“Prompt” ends up being about fifteen minutes. Jaster finishes preparing the meal and has already sat down to eat it when the door opens. Mace steps inside, glowing hologram still in hand.

“Master Yoda wanted to speak with you.” He says, sounding almost childishly defeated. He sets the comm down next to Jaster’s plate and has turned away before Jaster can turn his “what is this?” expression on him. Bastard.

“Jetti Master Yoda.” Jaster says, trying to school his face into something that's more acceptable for the mentor of his partner.

“Jaster Mereel.” The old Jedi sounds just as pleased as Mace had been peeved. “Wanted to thank you personally, I did, for being a help to Master Windu. A man of kindness and understanding, you are.”

“Ah.” Jaster hadn't really been expecting this whole encounter, but an expression of gratitude, much less a compliment, hadn't been one of them. “Thank you. I'm happy that I can be a source of help for Mace, on the rare occasions he needs it.”

“Hmm.” Yoda’s ears lift up, the movement visible even though the hologram. “Rare, you say? Help Mace much you have. More open, he has become. More accepting of others. Noticed, we all have. Tell me, he has, that because of you this change is.”

“Is that so?” That's both sweet and flattering. Why is it the first that Jaster has heard of it, he doesn't know. He finds out half a second later when Mace appears behind him, his food landing gently on the table across from Jaster even as he rather quickly grabs his comm.

“You’ve said your piece, Master. Now, may the force be with you-.”

“Do not be rude, young one!” Comes the sharp interjection over the comm. “Say goodbye to Mereel, I have not.”

“Fine.” Mace turns the comm in the palm of his hand so Jaster is face to face with the hologram. “Here's Jaster, say goodbye.”

Jaster is fascinated by this exchange. He knew that Mace and Master Yoda worked closely together, but he hadn't expected their relationship to resemble something so familial.

“Goodbye, Jetti Master Yoda.” He says, smiling at the comm. “May the force be with you.”

The Jedi smiles back at him. “And with you, young one. My gratitude, you have.”

The transmission ends. Mace rounds the table and sits down heavily. He picks up his fork and pokes it in the air towards Jaster.

“Don't-”

“Open and accepting, huh?” It's always a delight to see Mace embarrassed over something. “How come you never told me how good of an influence on you I am.”

“Yoda only thinks that because he decided that I wasn't enough of either before meeting you.” Mace grumbles into his bowl.

Jaster chuckles, but the comment has made him think. “You have changed, since we met.”

Mace looks up at him now, an eyebrow raised. “So have you.”

“Both of us for the better, you think?”

“Probably.”

[youngprofesser]

I really should organize these but here's more Mace/Jaster for the people

Mace isn’t one for surprises. One, because Jaster is pretty sure that his Jedi senses make it nigh impossible for him to get sprung up on. And secondly, he just prefers a schedule. Jester knows this. But he's feeling a bit mischievous, maybe having a few impossible fantasies of catching him unawares, so he doesn't message to tell Mace that his most recent job has taken him to Coruscant. Instead, he spares the comfort of his private ship to arrive a few days early and splurges on an apartment for the time not far from the Jedi temple district (his wallet is going to be feeling it for a while, but it's worth it.) He buys a ticket to a very conspicuous tourist trap titled “Temple lookout” and endures a hellishly awkward lift ride because of it, but the sightline is only slightly less clear than advertised. 

He's very easily able to make his way to a spot by the window given how the crowd of soft and feebly looking tourists part for him like water. He turns with his back to the window, uses a HUD extension to take a 2D still of himself, with the Jedi temple very clearly in the background, and marches back onto the lift where he enjoys being the sole occupant. He sends the image to Mace while on the way down, debates sending a message of context but decides that the picture speaks for itself. He gets a reply not soon after leaving the site to try and find a place where the people don't look at him like they think he'll shoot them if he catches them looking. 

Meaning?

Is all that Mace says. Jaster huffs, deriving a bit of glee from being able to, at the very least, cause a bit of confusion. 

Surprise! 

He types back. 

Here for work in three days. Here for you now.

Mace reads this message immediately and begins typing a response. 

Do not attempt to visit the temple. Send tomorrow’s location, I will make time.

Jaster frowns at the message, feeling a bit rejected. Not at Mace being busy today, he had expected as much, but that his first priority was to tell him not to visit him in his home. He hadn't been planning on it, but now it feels like he's been intentionally shut out from the place that is Mace’s life. He'll talk to him about it tomorrow. For now, he sends the address of his rental, along with a request for ETA, and tries not to let the message dampen his mood. 

He fails for a while, the looming glisten of the Jedi Temple in the near distance feeling like a personal slight whenever his eye catches on it. But once he makes it a few levels down he stumbles across a huge festival of some kind that features dancing, acrobatics, and raucous music from perhaps the largest set of speakers that he's ever seen, and it's easy to get lost in it for the rest of the day.  Mace sends him a message an hour and a half after midnight telling him that he'll be over at 7:20. Jaster is already back to his rental, halfway through a pipe and watching some sort of sporting event that is allegedly happening live on the other side of the planet. He responds with an acknowledgement. Adds sleep well because while he's still a bit hurt about earlier, he’s not petty. He’ll make Mace explain tomorrow.

[youngprofesser]

No this is fuckin hilarious especially when we consider two things.

1. Mace "Jedi do not hate" Windu.

It's very easy to find a lot of people in the galaxy that hate Mace. He's made a lot of enemies in his day like any other Jedi worth their salt. However it is EXCEEDINGLy difficult to find someone who he hates BACK, given that he puts a lot of time and energy into making sure he DOESN'T hate people.

2. The journals.

In Shatterpoint (book), Mace keeps an audio journal of his mission for archival purposes (literally, to submit to the archives). They aren't *personal* journals per se, but he doesn't hide any of his thoughts and feelings from them. We can extrapolate from this that he keeps journals of most missions, probably has for quite some time. The result of this? Quite literally hundreds of hours of audio recordings of Mace's life. This is the only accurate reference that Depa has to go off of for finding true love/hate. It's agonizing wor, but she'll start from the most recent because that's the most likely to be still active emotion. It's in a recording from about 15 years ago that there's a random muttered line that he can never go missing because that force-forsaken tax collector will track him down no matter where in the galaxy he ends up.

based on the reverse trope writing prompts list i reblogged a few days ago

i think this is an incredibly stupid au that would be funny to me alone but:

master windu gets cursed in an altercation during a mission, probably á la sleeping beauty style or whatever, and no one can figure out how to break it

depa billaba, determined to find the cure, goes on a wild hunt, searching through the archives, hitting up the black markets, even taking a rogue mission to reach out to the witches of dathomir, and the nightsisters for any crumb of a hint

anyway, it gets revealed that mace can only be awakened through a kiss—which is so silly and fairytale, but everybody knows it’s the kiss of a true love that will break a curse—so depa rushes back without hearing the rest of the nightsisters’ words, determined to find out who her master would be so daring to be in love with and make them kiss him awake

the entire temple is shocked: mace windu, leader of the order, fucks???

somewhere, stuck in a siege in an outer rim planet, anakin skywalker is getting relayed this piece of gossip via ahsoka, who’s had to stay on coruscant for some padawan classes or whatever, and shouting to the skies, “WHO THE FUCK IS FUCKING MACE WINDU???”

the search is deep and long, and most likely a huge breach of windu’s privacy, but depa will do whatever it takes to wake him up. he can reprimand her about it after. anyway, there are a few suspects, it is embarrassing for everyone involved when depa goes to ask them to consider kissing mace for a quick moment, and the temple ostensibly is Not Looking at who is coming in and out of the Halls, but they So Are Looking

nothing is working, and mace is maybe wasting away slowly, who knows, so depa goes back to the nightsisters because they clearly lied?? but they are Unimpressed with her because who was the one impatient enough to leave before they finish their tales! not them!

big reveal: it’s not true love’s kiss, it’s true hate’s kiss that mace has been cursed with. this is horrifying. at least with true love’s kiss, there are people who would be willing to help him, no matter how skin-peelingly uncomfortable it’d been to look them in the eyes and know that mace windu enjoyed these people on an intimate level! but true hate’s kiss? every single enemy mace has ever made would be coming to gut him to finish the job, not kiss him! this situation is hopeless,….

by now, the 212th and 501st have returned from another campaign, and are back planetside for leave. anakin and obi-wan pop in to pay their respects—ok, obi-wan pops in to pay his respects while anakin is begrudgingly there, 80% because he won’t leave obi-wan’s side after almost losing him in a particularly harrowing battle and 20% because he’s curious about windu and is he actually just laying there asleep like he’s taking a nap??

depa is beside his bedside, as has become her latest makeshift work area, having taken on some of his tasks as council member along with her own, and reluctant to separate from him should things change on their own. she greets obi-wan and anakin with a weariness that they both empathize with, and it makes anakin briefly consider the possibility of obi-wan under the same circumstances. it’s a chilling thought, and he stands closer to obi-wan, as if his presence would ward off the thought.

the team leave after, but anakin’s voice trails despite his attempt to lower his volume out of respect for depa: “you know, i never liked windu much—one could even argue we hate each other—but i wouldn’t wish this on my old nemesis,” to which obi-wan responds with a sharp “anakin!” intending to scold him

but depa hears it anyway and suddenly she’s jumping out of her seat and rushing after them because maybe there is someone who could save her master after all

she asks if anakin would be willing to kiss mace, and the look of abject horror on his face would be hilarious if not for the desperation she feels, so close to a cure. beside him, obi-wan makes an equally complicated face, before he smooths it away. depa does not miss that either, but her focus is on anakin, who is sputtering at her request.

“me! you want me to k-kiss win—master windu!”

“you yourself called him your nemesis, knight skywalker. i am not in a position where i can be so picky with my options when it is my master’s life at stake.”

“yes, but—i don’t—look, i know i said we hate each other, but i don’t hate master windu. tell me you don’t think this of me.”

if she were to allow herself to feel remorse at the way anakin stares back at her, stricken, depa does not think she could continue to make the ask. “please, knight skywalker.” she kneels at his feet, uncaring of the startled yelp, and stares him down from the ground.

“i am willing to do anything in my power to save my master, knight skywalker. would you not do the same for your own?”

“master billaba, this is unnecessary—” obi-wan interjects, thunderous, but anakin stops him on his own with a steady hand on his shoulder.

after a long silence, he speaks. “i would give everything for my master,” anakin says. he meets her eyes, and for a moment, they understand each other fully. “i’m probably going to have nightmares about this, but… i’ll give it a try.”

anyway, he gives windu the world’s shortest kiss and then complains about it until obi-wan loses his patience and promises he’ll kiss him after to wash the taste out his mouth—not that there was any tongue involved, honestly, anakin—and it completely shuts anakin up for the rest of the day.

the kiss does not wake mace windu up, and depa is devastated. she apologizes to anakin for asking such a thing, and then completely blocks them out of her attention because if they have no use, then they are a distraction.

there is probably some other exposition here, some deus ex machina or whatever, but ultimately it is revealed that mace windu’s truest, foulest, most hated enemy is the tax official from the senate who keeps fucking hounding the jedi temple every annual tax season and will not leave him the fuck alone!!!!!!

the feeling is mutual, the tax official equally hates mace’s guts, can you please just fill out the forms on time!!!!!!!! file your goddamn taxes so i don’t have to subpoena your ass!!!!!!!!!

anyway they kiss, mace wakes up, he and the tax official are very grim about what has happened, depa is relieved and exhausted and kind of like what the fuck master, this middle-aged pencil-pusher of a man from coruscant is your nemesis??? when we are in the middle of a galactic war AND we’re looking for a sith in the senate???? HIM????

and obi-wan finally gives anakin that kiss.

the end

(file your taxes on time people)