your-alien-friend

[your-alien-friend]

Someone's ready to go out :)

[your-alien-friend]

Interesting interaction on Facebook today.

In one of my quilt groups a member posted some pictures of how she made ruffled aprons for her granddaughters, and then was stumped on what to make for her grandsons. Oh, she thought, custom pillows!

Gentle reader, I saw red. The backstory here is that quilters are overwhelmingly white retired women, and they (or at least the ones who join FB quilting groups) tend to have some VERY old-fashioned views on men and women and girls and boys. (Lots of posts like "what ideas do you have for boy quilts?" and the comments will be full of pictures of quilts with tractors on them.) So I thought, I guess the message here is that girls are supposed to be working in the kitchen while the boys lounge around on their fancy pillows waiting to be served. I was ready to let her have it in the comments and risk getting booted from the group. But first I looked in the comments to see how the post was being received.

I was blown away by the comments. Comment after comment saying things like, "those are lovely, I make aprons for all my grandsons and they love to wear them when they help out in the kitchen!" "I made custom aprons for all my sons, and then more for their sons when they got old enough! They all love them!"

Then, after all these comments, here comes OP with one of her own: "I think next year I'll make custom pillows for my granddaughters and ruffled aprons for my grandsons." My comment: "That's a great idea!"

Sometimes people surprise you.

And sometimes people just need a little nudge, not a flamethrower.

[your-alien-friend]

Eye contact

Full on my раtreon

[your-alien-friend]

You’re tired. Burnt out. Exhausted. Stressed.

This lowers your capacity for emotional regulation.

You’ll cry more easily. Get dragged into low moods more easily. Simple little things where you’re like ‘dang, that shouldn’t hit so hard,’ will wallop you.

This will trick you into thinking you’re weak and can’t handle life. A loser.

Not so my friend.

It’s a signal that you need a nap, need to allow for more sleep at night, need to prioritize and scale back on what you can accomplish in a day, need to take a mental health day or even a leave.

Something’s got to give.

But!

It’s not your self worth.

[your-alien-friend]

most things can and should be heart-shaped

[your-alien-friend]

[your-alien-friend]

Aang: i can't just go around killing people i don't like!

Toph, who locked two men in a metal box to starve a few months ago:

[your-alien-friend]

do you ever think about dead versions of yourself that are fossilized in someone else's mind

[your-alien-friend]

after 2 years working outdoors all day i finally got stung by an onion for the first time yesterday and i wasnt even doing anything there wasnt even a nest nearby

[your-alien-friend]

[your-alien-friend]

[your-alien-friend]

[your-alien-friend]

[your-alien-friend]

Lines of thought that seem Normal but are actually rooted in extreme puritanism:

-Seeing the nude human body is inherently traumatic -Sex scenes in art are pointless -Wearing kink-related clothing in public is the similar to performing a sex scene in front of unwilling participants -Depicting female characters expressing sexuality is always degrading -People's sexual fantasies are always an endorsement of the behavior they want to see in real life -Sex work is more traumatic and coercive than other types of work The goal is to treat sex as just another thing people do. That is a much healthier attitude than hiding it! It's not uniquely traumatic, it's not weird to talk about it or include it in society.

[your-alien-friend]

I think this is just a trend everywhere but I've been very frustrated this week by how much admin work is being outsourced to me as the patient/customer.

My orthodontist tells me I can make an appointment with the surgeon. I call the surgeon. They tell me I need a new referral. I call the orthodontist. They do a referral. I call the surgeon. Referral didn't come through. They tell me about their special unique system we have to use. I call the ortho again and walk them through the referral. I call the surgeon. They say the referral was missing some details so they have to do it again. I call the ortho.

The insurance company calls me about repair shops. I give them the name of the repair shop which I already gave them yesterday. They say they're not in their system but I can use them, but I have to call the repair shop to ask them to contact the insurance company. I call the repair shop and they say the insurance company is supposed to email them.

I feel like at a certain point these constant fetch quests become unreasonable?? Is it too much to expect these groups to communicate with each other instead of making me run back and forth between them???

[your-alien-friend]

it's true and you should say it.

[your-alien-friend]

A little pastel drawing