yourtoxiczombie

[yourtoxiczombie]

Something Random I wrote

Darling, if you have to beg or grovel for a place at the table then is that the table you really want to sit at? So once you do these pathetic actions then what? Will you really feel comfortable sitting in a spot that you were never welcomed at in the first place? They just allowed you to sit there because they pitied and felt sorry for you.

People like that are not your people. You shouldn't have to fight or beg for a place to sit. I suggest that you remove yourself from that uncomfortable situation and instead of finding a place to sit at try finding yourself and who you are. Once you venture on your journey to your self-righteous path then things will start to fall into place.

[yourtoxiczombie]

Something I Wrote

If I do belong in hell well sweetheart I'll make sure to wait at the gates of hell just to hold the door for you and save a spot.

Oh, you laugh because what? You think you have a golden ticket to the great gates above? To heaven? Darling, I hate to break it to you but your coming with me rather you like it or not.

It won't matter who departs first from this earth.

[yourtoxiczombie]

You seem to replace all logic with false hope. Your judgement becomes clouded as your facts turn into opinions. You no longer are you able to process the situation and therefore you end up making a mistake which then causes your whole thought process to crash which then over loads your system. After a bit of errors you are then finely able to step back and reboot yourself.

Once you have rebooted your system you will have to redo your final judgements on the poor souls you have mislabeled. While you are in the process of correcting your wrongs you are now confronted by those you have wrongly accused with your false judgements and mislabeled titles.

[yourtoxiczombie]

I might be the light to your darkness but what happens when this light shines no more? What happens when i am the one who becomes engulfed in that same darkness that slowly blinded and covered you? Who Will be my light? After experiencing the same kind of pain, the same kind of torture you endured I ask the same of you as you did of me. But this time you did nothing but turn your back while i was the one reaching out for you. You walked away while I am left here to suffer in the abyss of this damned darkness. Well, one thing is for sure, when thing I got cleared up. That is I finely was able to see your true colors while drowning in this dark abyss of sadness and sarrow. I might be trapped, i might be stuck in this pit of pain and misery but I will assure you this, i will get out one way or another and i will expose you for the monster you truly are. Once every one sees, once you are revealed as the true monster then well will see who will be the one to walk away this time. This time i Will not let you pull me down, this time i will be the one who will haunt you. Watching you struggle through your own despair and pain. Sinking deeper and deeper into your own self destruction I will be there to witness it all. Karma will be at its finest and payback will be in full. The more you struggle, the more you move. It Will only grasp you, tighter and tighter it's hold Will become until finely you won't be able to breath no longer. Maybe then, maybe I will finely step in. Reaching out as i dangle hope right in front of you to just pull it back again in the end. You Will finely know what i went through, what i felt when you betrayed me and walked away.

[yourtoxiczombie]

Some times when your hungry, all other aspects of life go out the window. Your logical mind shuts down and your guided by your need to feed. You lose track of your most decent thought, slowly your thoughts turn sour. The more you think of your next meal the more watery your mouth gets. Now your just waiting for the taste of fresh meat to touch your tongue, hoping it comes soon. Eyeing every option you have, counting every move you can make in one go around. In your mind, you play it over and over. Making sure every possible outcome is well played out. Hoping you dont miss anything, you see an opportunity. While on your move, suddenly a unwanted kink is thrown at your well planned armor and things start to derail and spiral into chaos. You stop, eyeing the unwanted company that strolled in on their happy mood upsetting your entire process. Acquiring you to gain eyes on a new target. This is a reasonable outcome to your chaotic situation you ended up in. Making the necessary round abouts you need to slowly circle and isolate your pray . When everything is on track, every little detail is made. Finely you do your normal checks. Making sure no one is visible or in a ears length. Moving in on your pray, their just happy you are spending time with them which makes it sort of sad but you dont care, all you want is to feed. This is what its all been about after all, right? Your need to feed. Getting as close as possible before they start to alarm themselves and finely realize their not safe any more. Then you strike, right as the glimpse of their joy slowly fades into fear and their hope shatters. You move like a cat, hitting them where it counts. Taking them down. Allowing you some time before having to hurry and finish the job. Enjoy this feed for it will be your only for a while.

[yourtoxiczombie]

Expose me for who i am. I dare you! No matter if every one realizes who i am and what I am capable of i Will never back down. I am here to warn you, here to offer you the second chance you so rightfully deserve. Yet, you push me away. You constantly talk down to me and belittle my every move. You said your self your scared of being alone, so i offer a solution to your problems. Each time i offer it to you, you reject it and me. I am simply only here to help yet you act like i am trying to take you down further. I am only here to pull you up instead of bring you down. Just take a moment, take some time to stop and thinkabout what exactly you are doing and the outcome that will happen if you continue to fight every step of the way. Just give in, let me guide you through the pain and torture you endure. I am ready, perfectly able to take on such pain that causes you to drown. Let me be your life savor. Let me help you float above the drowning pain that is only getting worse by the minute. I will help ease such a pain and help lighten up the load you have to carry. There is no mistaking it, you are blinded by your own self-righteousness that even the thought of getting help you think will weaken your entire ego and look.

[yourtoxiczombie]

No one can do me more harm than I have already done myself

Unknown

[yourtoxiczombie]

The War Inside Of You

Written By Me

Have you ever had a war break out inside of you? Like there is something or some one poisoning your good nature with toxic and evil behavior. Like there is two of you at a stand off. You can try and defuse the situation but one wrong move could set off everything. Causing a back fire of your own emotions to spill out. Exposing the emotional roller coaster you dont dare let others know about. sooner or later the cats going to get out of the bag, sooner or later every one will see you struggle. You just got to keep fighting. Keep moving forward.

[yourtoxiczombie]

The Beast WithIn

Something I wrote

once you have hold of me you better devour me whole or else you will regret Every fragment you left untouched. There's a beast running wild inside me, there's no questioning it. Your not safe until I am dead and even then there is and will be no hope for you. Your prayers will fall upon no one's ears for I will not allow even your gasps to reach the surface. I am a dangerous force and I will not be dismissed by some one of your status. People like you, people who judge and talk down to people like me will get whats coming to them. they always do. I have witnessed karma at it's finest and the outcome is sweeter then anything you could imagine

[yourtoxiczombie]

What I been up too on line craft. Making a large person. Hopefully with more practice I will get better

[yourtoxiczombie]

My smile hides all. You won't know if I'm sad, really actually happy or plotting to kill you. Either way I know how to hide everything behind this smile of mine.

[yourtoxiczombie]

Fucking Me throughout my childhood, middle school, high school and even now

[yourtoxiczombie]

[yourtoxiczombie]

Lately I always look so tired but get lots of sleep.

[yourtoxiczombie]

This drawing right here took quite some time to do. The second one is the drawing finished, the first one is the drawing without the detail. I have to admit I did make a lot of mistakes but I didn't give up. The drawing was kind of frustrating me a little bit but I still kept on going

[yourtoxiczombie]

It says everything and nothing at the same time

[yourtoxiczombie]

I wish it stayed this cool during the day. It seems like now it is starting to get a lot warmer in the day...