yugaskarth

[yugaskarth]

Thank You

Hello, Ty.

I know the chance of you reading this is almost 100% never. However, if by any chance you stumbled upon this ‘letter’, I really want to say... thank you. Thank you for being there for me for 2 years. You helped me get me back on my feet, you always believed in me, you cared for me, and you were always there when I need you the most.

I still remember your first question you asked me, “are you real man?”. And I still remember when we first met in Kopimana 27, I was like “omg, she’s cute” and you are indeed really are. I wonder if you still keep my German language handbook that I wrote for you 2 years ago hahaha. I loved it when you called me “a rare pokemon” because it made me feel truly special.

You are a very special and talented person. You know how to cook foods that I like, your drawings are beautiful, you can play guitar, your writings are compelling, you know how to manage your money, and you know you stuffs very well that you excel at your job. Despite being a year younger than me, you are 10 years more mature than me. That’s why it made me really sad whenever you feel worthless because you are definitely worthy of everything good in this world. You know, most of the times when we were still together, I feel like we are a complete piece of the puzzle. Because you understand stuffs that I don’t and vice versa. 

Yes, you do have some flaws. In my opinion, you were very stubborn about things when we were still together, you tend to ran away whenever we have an argument, impatient, you often forget about things that I said which I found to be really annoying, and you were very... stern. But beyond all that, your qualities outshine all those flaws. That’s why I decided to stay with you all those time and never look for another girl. Because behind those imperfections, you are perfect in my eyes. Don’t give a damn for those people who look down on you. They’re just too blind to see your true potential. I wish I said this when I still had the chance but I really really really wanted to look at you at the eyes and say “you are perfect, you are worthy, the world is lucky to have you. You are strong, smart, and wise. You can always find ways to make it through all obstacles the world gives you. I am lucky to have such an amazing woman by my side.”

T, I’m sorry that I wasn’t good enough for you. I truly am. Back then, I was... ‘minder’ to you not because you are more successful than me but because I wasn’t brave enough to stand up with you. I wasn’t brave enough to love you. And the worst part was that I always find a way to disappoint you. I hurt you time and time again. When everything’s started getting better, I tend to tore it apart and make us fall again. And I know it must had been very exhausting for you to keep up with my stupidity. Also, I believe that last mistake when I harassed you was the last straw for you. I’m really sorry. If only I can go back in time and just beat the shit out of me not to do that but it’s impossible. I’m sorry that I really hurt you. I’m not asking you for forgiveness. I don’t deserve that. Maybe I deserve to rot in hell and never find peace in my life. But if I can ask you a favor, please cherish the good moments we had when we were together as I will forever cherish our moments together and take them as a lesson to be better for myself and eventually for someone that I deserve.

Oya.. to be honest, I was genuinely really happy when we were at Mekawai and you said you wanna get married with me. You kept on blabbering of how you think I was perfect for you while I being not confident as usual. I think you already forgot what you said at that moment and its understandable but I always remember those things that you said about me. It motivated me to be better for both of us because I was really really sure that we will eventually gonna get married. Unfortunately, I’m a slow learner and I don’t think my efforts was good enough...

So, yeah... If you keep reading up to this point, then you have my gratitude. I wish you finally found peace that you deserve. Remember, you are strong. Please don’t give up, ya... You can achieve anything that you want with your strong will. I hope... when I finally able to love myself and make myself the best version of me, we meet each other again. Maybe by accident or anything. And we can start anew and fresh and fall in love again.

But if we don’t, I really hope you find a good man that can treat you far better than me. For someone as amazing as you, you deserve another amazing person to accompany you for the rest of your life.

I wish you a good and happy life. We had a rough ride, but I don’t want to trade it with anything else. Thank you for making my life colorful and thank you for all the lessons you gave me. Thank you very much, sweet little bakpao.

With love and regret, Narayuga.

[yugaskarth]

Time to follow the light.

For the better future.

[yugaskarth]

TL;DR

This past few days has been a constant contemplation for me in relationship.

I know.. I know.. hold your horses! It’s gonna be about relationship. One of the stuff that people always think about once they reach puberty. This is gonna be a TL;DR post, though. So you may skip if it doesn’t appeal you.

It is about how I defended my feelings from other heartbreaks based on my past experience.

Basically, if you actually read my posts about this kind of thing on tumblr (which I bet you don’t and I hope you don’t because its way too cheesy), my love life was full of heartbreaks and rejections. And when you are heartbroken because the people that you once hold so dear has now left you, the best thing that you can do is to... move on.

Easy.

except it isn’t.

You see, every time I ended a relationship with someone, I keep on repeating all the best moments I had spent with her, how lovely she was, the things we gave to each other, et cetera et cetera thus further solidify the sorrow that is inside my head and heart. And those things keep going on for days, weeks, and months. Pulling me deeper away from moving on. One day, I discovered something revolutionary something that will help me break through this chain of peril. What’s that?

Hate.

Yes, hate. I mean, the tinder to spark my hatred is already there, waiting. Anger... I was angry that our relationship had to end abruptly and thinking how I should have done that and this to prevent me from breaking up with her. Once the spark is lit, it grows into hatred. My head keep on thinking all the bad moments we had, how selfish she was, et cetera. Alas, it didn’t take long for me to eventually forget about her and move on because all that’s left about her is how she’s a despicable human being. And from that day onward, I always use that as my personal defense mechanism so I would never stumble upon another heartbreak. But at what cost?

Suffering.

Ironic. The thing that actually helps me moving forward actually caused me to suffer from it. The more you hate, the more you suffer. You just can’t enjoy things that used to bring you happiness because you cower from it, afraid that it would disappoint you or let you down again. Eventually, the worst thing will hit you hard. You’ll be blind. You’ll be blind and unable to see the things that would actually bring you great joy.

Huh, it’s sad to think that most of the time, I was blind to see that there’s someone that is actually care about me, someone that actually bless me with joy, someone that truly share the same vision for the future, and someone that genuinely love me to the core. But I didn’t see it. I was busy protecting my heart from other disappointments like in the past which, ironically, causes more disappointments. I was busy looking at her flaws instead of appreciating her eminence. Some if not most of the time, I am angry with her for something that she did not do at all. My fear, anger, and hatred got the best of me and both of us got to suffer for it. All because of me. But these past few days after I wrote my last post, I am finally able to open my eyes and see all the beauty that lies in front of me this whole time.

Toshima.

It’s because of her that I’m actually able to break free from this deceitful chain of pain and sorrow. It’s because of her that I can learn more about myself. It’s because of her I now know the meaning of actually strive together as a couple, as a team, as if its us against the world. And it’s because of her that I can feel loved again. She helps me to identify what is wrong and assist me to fix it. Because of that now I know the reason why I was blind.

There’s no perfect word to describe about her but all I know is, she may not be pretty but I know for sure that she is very beautiful despite her flaws.

(oh shit I’m crying)

And for that, I hope we can learn more from each other and walk together side by side to conquer the world in this adventure called life for the rest of our life. Thank you for staying with me all this time.

I love you, Toshima.

[yugaskarth]

The Wolves Within

Serenity, peace, virtue.

Those are the three things that I had wish to achieve mentally in my life. However, it seems the longer I live in this world, the more I stray further from those things.

Sloth, turmoil, fear. Those are the three things that I have done these past few years mentally in my life. It seems the longer I live in this world, the more I lean in closer with those things.

Here’s the thing.

They said that each of us have 2 wolves living inside us. One represents all the evil and one represents all the good. “Which wolf will you feed?”, they asked. “I don’t know”, I answered. Of course, I seek to feed the ‘light’ wolf but the ‘dark’… the dark wolf is arrogant and he’s always hungry. The light, being kind, humble and all, cowers in the face of the menacing darkness as he brushes aside the food I’ve given to the light wolf and take it all for him. No matter what I do all these years, the wicked dark wolf always wins.

The dark wolf’s influence is so bad that I even consider to let him win so I can harness his power. Strong, arrogant, cunning, and despicable while self-loathing.

“But what about the other people would think about you?”

I don’t think they would care. They are also busy trying to feed the wolves within them. And I have disappointed countless people including myself, so I don’t think they would be surprise by it.

Can I be saved?

Return to the light? Perhaps.

But then again, maybe the wicked wolf is my loyal friend and darkness is my rightful dominion after all.

[yugaskarth]

Star Wars Ep. VIII: The Last Jedi

It was an emotional roller coaster.

[yugaskarth]

Luck

Hello there, folks! Its been a while since the last time I write on tumblr again. Now, I would like to share a story about luck.

As some of you may know, I no longer work at Supertree Indonesia. That company is now history as far as I concern. So I’m back at doing some job seeking again. When I was still working at Supertree, I applied for United Nations Young Professionals Programme (UN YPP) as I had always dreamed ever since I was in university. I was happy that they were hiring for Political, Peace, and Humanitarian Network (POLNET). That’s exactly what I have always dreamed of.

Now here’s the thing: I quickly applied and submit all the required paper works needed for the application. Long story short, I didn’t make it through. I was disappointed but I made peace with myself. “Not yet” I told myself.

Then everything went south quickly. The company I worked in collapsed due to unhappy investors. Jobless again and I am living on my saving. I started doing several menial works just to earn myself some income and well they payment is not that bad but still not enough. I decided to go to Puncak on 30th September because I was invited to come to POTO. I thought I need some refreshing. I met several old friends and talks about life, work, and other miscellaneous stuffs. All was good, until… A friend of mine asked me to explain about Rohingya which I was quite aware of. I explained to him happily as I like to share my knowledge to anyone interested. After I was done explaining Rohingya case to him, he (innocently) told me that he got through the initial selection for POLNET and he’s preparing for the exam. I was like “WTF? I applied for POLNET and didn’t get through. While you… you got through meanwhile you just asked me about Rohingya because you have no knowledge about it. Let alone humanitarian issues?!” I was in shock. Well it wasn’t his fault, he was just testing his luck and the fortune queen favored him instead of me.

The lesson is, you may have prepared something so hard for your dream but then there is a dude just walking casually, prepared nothing and just rely on his luck and then he got in, not you. Well, that’s life and the universe is always full of surprises. At this point, I’ll just do whatever I can and pray to God for the cosmic coincidence to happen on His order.

Good luck and God bless for all of us!

[yugaskarth]

Last weekend I decided to create a stopmotion after 2 years of hiatus. 170+ photos for 11 seconds video lol. Just trying to get used with the frame rates again. Captured with Asus Zenfone 2 Laser. . #stopmotion #starwars #stormtrooper #shoretrooper #deathtrooper #movies #film #animation #cartoon

[yugaskarth]

[Jedha outskirt, Imperial Occupied City] [TK-269 "Dak Vonbrawn" Journal] "Its a damn cold night..." muttered TK-427, my SL. Of course, our armor actually do have environment control system to compensate any kind of weather and even toxic ones so we can survive at any kind of environment. But I do agree with him, its a damn cold night. We should have packed our snowtrooper gear. No kidding. This gonna be an exhausting patrol duty. Jedha may look like a barren wasteland with sands all over the place. Don't be fooled, however, it's cold. Way too cold. How? Don't ask me. I'm just an Imperial foot soldier not an Imperial scientist. Later on, we found ourselves a cave and we set up shop inside. "Dak, gather some woods and light a fire." Ordered TK-429 to me and so I did. We warm ourselves in silence. The faint hissing sound from the burning woods, the lights from the fire, and the gentle wind blowing through my soft underarmor reminds me of the days with my friends back in my village many years ago. Where we would camp in the woods, set up a campfire, sharing ghost stories, and whatever. For a moment, I truly felt alive, not as a soldier of the Empire but as an individual. A regular person I once was before I don the Stormtrooper armor... [End Journal]

[yugaskarth]

World of Cats Review

Cats. People love cats. Why not? They’re cute, fluffy, and somehow irresistible even though they are obnoxious sometimes. Unfortunately, some people, like myself, are not able to pet a cat for some reasons. Whether due to alergies to cat fur, they don’t have time to take care of their cats, not allowed to pet one by other family members, etc. So for people who loves cat but unable to pet it, they will rely on cat pictures, videos, and anything from the internet.

           I never played any cat related games (except Battle Cats but that’s because the humor fits my taste) until I played World of Cats by BTNcafe. This game is made for iOS and Android market because it relies heavily on social aspect. Although Social Gaming is not an entirely new genre for many gaming platforms, BTNcafe managed to bring some fresh elements to make WoC enjoyable to play.

           Personally, I classified this game as an MMORPG game due to the sandbox element, fight system against pests, PVP, and character progression. Unlike many other MMORPG game in Mobile Phone where we are put in a fantasy or science-fiction setting with human, elf, aliens, or robots with elaborate skill paths, WoC starts with a very normal cat where you can customize their color and your personal preferences such as “do you like sushi or sashimi more?” and others. Then you will be introduced to Kitty Town by a... man-cat called Meddler where he will guide you to some areas in Kitty Town as well as how to survive against rats, wild boars, squirrels, and a lot more! All in 2D but very beautiful environments and arts.

And of course you can also chat with other cats (players) and use many animated emojis like making you cat dance, bubble emojis, and stuffs. Mini-games are always there for you to play with your friends or alone and they are very fun to play. You can explore other areas and dungeons as you progress through the game and there are MANY areas you can explore and collectibles you can collect even I’m still on my way to unlock many areas by collecting, hunting, and socializing.

           One of the most interesting aspects in this game is decorating. Yes you have a big freedom to decorate your room! You start with a basic, boring, and empty room but as you earned more golds, you can buy furnitures such as sofas, bed, tables, cat towers, and even some installable item like cat decoys and other stuffs as long as it is discardable (and most stuffs are discardable). You can create a dance floor and invite your friends to party in your cat’s room (the more the merrier). It all depends on your creativity. You can also put costume or change skins of your cat using catnips that you can buy with real money as part of the micro-transaction/in-app purchases (IAP)

           Speaking of micro-transactions, in my opinion, the catnips are relatively... expensive. Well at least for me because I rarely put my money into IAP in Mobile Games. But expensive or not is relative, though as I’ve seen many people bought catnips for their cat’s costume. The cheapest starts from $2.99 for 27 Catnips to $99.99 for 1,100 catnips. But the most important thing is that they don’t tampered the gameplay and make the paying players with big advantage over the non paying players. They are mostly for decorative purposes and does not effect the balance of the game.

           The most annoying thing in this game is that this game drains phone battery really fast and make my phone hot after about 30 minutes of playing. Crashes are also notorious for this game especially if you are in an area with really bad connection. I hope the developers fix this problem because this game is addicting and you don’t want to be interrupted in the middle of the game with crashes or have to stop because your phone feels too hot.

IS IT WORTH TO PLAY?

           If you are a cat person, then yes its worth it! Although the game graphic is not that amazing because it’s only on 2D, the gameplay is the one that shines. You can explore lots of areas alone or with your friends and start a big adventure to venture the unknown areas of Kitty Town.

There is too much that you can explore and find in this game but it would be a very long review so its better if you find it out by yourself.

VERDICT

           A good game if you like to socialize and explore areas in a sandbox environment and a great game if you also love cats! Definitely worth to play and explore!

[yugaskarth]

Just Checking in

Welcome, April! Please be good to us!

So I got myself a new job after 3-4 months of doing some freelancing jobs. I currently work in Slowpuppy, a mobile game publishing branch of Adpost.co Korea. NO, not in legal division. I’ve been trying to run away from Law & Politics ever since I graduated from FHUI so I find my new job in a game publishing company. Which I love. I work as a Digital Marketing Manager. For me, it is a new thing but I’m doing my best to learn as best as I can! Tbh, I can learn a thing or two about Marketing Communication from that January-March 2016 girl I hooked up with (See my post about my relationship stories below) but unfortunately I’ve lost contact with her, so... Anyway, I will try to explain about my daily life in my new job in another post when I have time to write. 

Oh about that last girl in my previous post... yeah I failed. It was sucks but I hold no grudge towards her. It is fine. Really. No bullshit. In fact I learned new things from her. I will explain about that in another post LOL.

So far life is good in 2017 and I have an optimistic view for this year (God wills it). How about love life? Umm no, I think I won’t pursue a romantic relationship with anyone in a short time as I’m trying to improve in my career and my life in general. As Shmi Skywalker said:

“Unless you’re prepared to care for something, you don’t deserve it.”

Damn, son. So that is what I’m doing right now - preparing.

Well, I guess that is it for today. Have a good day for all of us!

[yugaskarth]

How I react to Christmas eve as a Muslim

For a guy like me living in a big multicultural nation, its not strange to have a family consists of Christian and Muslim. Me and my nuclear family is muslim though.

During Ramadhan, my christian friends respect the muslim to not eat in front of us, in which we appreciate it a lot. Then during Eid the Muslims would invite the Christians to eat together, celebrating and enjoy the humanity. Of course they didnt join the Eid prayers lol, why should they?

Then here comes Christmas. My Christian friends doing some sermonts and singing in the church. We Muslims of course didnt go to the church lol, why should we? But indeed we celebrate our friends and family with fun and glad eating together and I used to get some christmas presents when I was a kid :’)

The point is, yes, if we do the worshipping ritual such as go the church for christmas doing sermonts etc, then maybeeee its Haram. But I think its okay if we just sit together laugh, eat, rejoice, and enjoy the christmas spirit with our friends and family…. Showing that we are all human living in the same world.

[yugaskarth]

Gue, Pacar, dan 'Rebound'

Hello, tumblr! Untuk post kali ini gue akan pakai bahasa Indonesia informal hanya karena.

Baik, langsung masuk ke pokok permasalahan. Gue, sebagai seorang lelaki heterosexual, tentu mengidamkan perempuan impian sebagai pasangan hidup. Pasangan hidup bisa sebagai pacar dan Istri. Tujuan gue punya pacar tentu bukan hanya untuk sekadar ‘having fun’, main-main, dan pembuang rasa bosan yang kemudian bisa dibuang kapan aja gue mau.

Bukan, bukan itu.

Pacar yang gue impikan yaa seseorang yang bisa jadi teman hidup dalam susah senang dan menjadi ibu yang kuat untuk anak(-anak) gue kelak. So that’s why, gue ga begitu mempermasalahkan fisik tapi kepribadian dan tentu saja otak yang munpuni. Meski ga dipungkiri gue juga maunya yang cantik lah dan certain standards yang gue tetapkan. Tapi itu urusan lain.

Mari kita kembali ke masa gue SMA. Jaman gue SMA… well, bisa dibilang sebagai masa di mana gue menghabiskan 90% 3 tahun gue dengan being single. Kok gitu? Ya, selain gue saat itu punya tampang yang cenderung jelek karena jerawat yang memblasak keluar dari kulit wajah dengan menjijikan, gue juga gagal move on dari crush gue saat itu (sebut saja Andin).

Sempet jadian sama junior gue, Nadea, selama sebulan saja karena gue sendiri bener2 ga nyangka bakal jadian sama dia padahal dia bukan tipe gue. Well, untungnya pas putus tetep temenan meski harus berantem sama temennya dulu.

But all in all, masa SMA gue menyenangkan kok (would give anything to experience it back).

Nah, setelah gue lulus Ujian Nasional dengan memuaskan (selain matematika yang nilainya cuma 6 kayak kuman), gue kenalan sama adek kelas gue yang lain. Gadis itu bernama Nitya. Nitya ini dulu tomboy banget dan atlet juga kaya gue dulu (gue baseball dia sepak bola). Deket lah kita ngobrol ngobrol about anything yang gue sendiri udah lupa. Sekitaran sebulan kemudian gue harus ke sekolah urus ijazah sekalian main aja… di situ gue ngasih tau Nitya mau ke sakola dan dia pun excited to meet me. Singkat cerita, gue pun ‘nembak’ dia (setelah dia minta ditembak) dan kami resmi jadian tanggal 8.8.11.

All went well….

… sampai akhirnya gue ke gep pacaran sama dia (kita backstreet karena ortunya larang dia pacaran). And her family went nuts as if I’m intending to marry their daughter right away, which of course I didn’t. Kamipun menjalani sisa hubungan kami selama 2 bulan terakhir ini dengan getir. Kasian karena tekanan ortunya, gue pun memutuskan untuk putusin Nitya. Jadi tanggal 9.11.11, sehari setelah anniv 4 bulan yang hampa, kamipun berpelukan untuk terakhir kalinya….

Pulang dengan keadaan galau, gue mencari teman. Sahabat gue, Ghaney, ngajak gue nonton 'Real Steel’ sama temennya dia. Gue sih kuy aja lumayan ngilangin galau. Sampai di XXI Margo City, gue pun bertemu Ghaney dan temannya, Camelia Rahmawati.

Camel…. well she was a really special girl for me.

Detail awal kenalan ga perlu kasih tau lah ya, gue cape nulisnya.

Jadi gue pedekate lah sama dia selama sebulan. Posisinya kami sama-sama baru putus. Dan akhirnya gue pun jadian sama dia di sency jam 11 malem tanggal 9.12.11.

TERNYATA EH TERNYATA, dia masih belom move on dari mantannya! Bukan, bukan mantannya yang sebelom gue tapi mantannya pas SMA. alig.

Jadi di situ lah gue sadar gue cuma rebound untuk dia.

Akhirnya kita banyak kelahi karena 2 jantung hati tidak berdetak beriringan. Akhirnya kami putus sekitar februari kalo ga salah. Dia pun kembali mengejar mantannya. Eh, ternyata mantannya brengsek cuma manfaatin Camel doang. Sedih lah dia. Di saat yang sama gue masih sayaaang banget sama Cams.

And so, the fight continued….

Gue berusaha mendapatkan dia lagi dengan sepenuh hati. Sempet menyerah tapi hati ga bisa bohong. Usaha gue ga sia-sia! Dia bikin surprise pas gue ultah akhirnya dan dia pun akhirnya CLBK saat dia birthday. Akhirnya di sana terjadilah dialog untuk mengesampingkan masa lalu yang buruk. Akhirnya kami pun balikan sekitar bulan Oktober.

2013 berlangsung baik and we loved each other so much. Hingga negara api menyerang…. Moot Court Competition. Konon katanya MCC adalah relationship breaker terefektif tapi gue percaya sama dia jadi gue izinin. Eh ternyata selingkuh sama senior. Putus deh.

Di situ kita masih komunikasi sebenernya cuma with severe grudge toward her. Sampe akhirnya kita decide untuk ketemu membicarakan kita bakal kaya gimana. Eh ternyata malah ngobrol ngalor ngidul ketawa bareng dan ternyata kita realized we’re still okay… we kissed and then she cried and apologized to me and I accepted it.

Meski semuanya baik baik aja, tapi semua udah berbeda. Dulu gue ga masalah dia mau main sama siapa aja cewe atau cowo terserah. Tapi sejak insiden itu gue jadi susah percaya sama orang, particularly her. Kamipun jadi sering berkelahi lagi kaya waktu awal jadian… and finally,

it was over. For good. March 2014.

Butuh setahun untuk gue bener2 move on ga kepikiran toh akhirnya kita jadi teman dan mengesampingkan our hatred and our love yang kini sudah hilang. But I’m okay with that because she’s cool as a friend. You’re cool Cam if you ever read this!

2015…. Idgaf with girls karena gue fokus skripsi and airsoft. Sempet deket sama beberapa cewe cuma gue males pacaran jadi jatohnya kaya PHP dan gue di PHP in balik. Until…. I met Naimah on January 2016. Fuck 2016 is the ugliest year for me. Anyway, ya gue deket lah sama doi. Cuma once again ketika akhirnya gue buka hati sama cewe, mereka pasti gagal move on. Fvck. We did stuffs with each other, confessed our love with each other, and then she left me. Semua ketika akhirnya dia berhasil move on dari mantannya.

*ding dong!* Rebound alert!

Sakit hati gua sampe skripsi acakadut. Untung lulus.

Akhirnya gue pun meningkatkan kualitas pribadi gue dulu. Dan gue bertemu R…. sensor dulu deh. Nah ini masih berlangsung sih… Please I pray to God she’s the last for me. 1/3 malam kusebut nama dia depan Allah… she’s the greatest…. and more mature than me despite she’s a year younger….

Gue sempet confess ke dia dan ditolak. And at some point I act childish kemaren di depan dia. Fuck up. But what she said to me and lots of other stuffs didnt make me feel any heartbreak. Surprisingly. Instead, gue malah terpacu untuk ningkatin banyak hal di diri gue… she told me that I am worthy and encourage me to be happy for myself not for others… and that’s the time I know that she’s the one for me… and I hope, I’m the one for her eventually. Pray for us, friends :’)

[yugaskarth]

Foulksrath Castle, Ireland

Foulksrath Castle is a 14th-century Anglo-Norman tower house located in Jenkinstown in County Kilkenny, Ireland.

The castle is closely associated with both the De Frene and Purcell families. The estate and original fortified and moated dwelling were first built in 1349 and occupied by the De Frene family and it is thought that the castle derives its name from Fulco De Frene (d. 1349) who was in the military service of Edward III and fought at the Battle of Crecy and the Siege of Calais. In the early 15th century the current castle was built by the Purcell family, relatives to the De Frene’s, after the estate came into their possession.

Keep reading

[yugaskarth]

House.

Imagine there is a beautiful house with pretty garden filled with blossoms of flower that has been built with sheer determination and love. The place that house stands used to be an empty field littered with trashes, debris, and everything that people see as gloomy. This particular person, tired with all the unpleasantness, decided to clean up all the trashes and pile of debris. Once this person cleaned up the fields he continued by designing a house that looks simple yet lovely. But building and maintaining a house is not as simple as cleaning trashes. So he sought for helps. He approached countless people to help but the result was futile. Some people refused because they dont like with the designs. Others offered their help but they tried to alter the design far away from the original. Hopeless. He got tired of looking and waiting so he started to pray. Alas, God answered his prayer and someone came over and offered a help with little alterations, only this time its perfect. They started building it slowly. Bricks by bricks and woods by woods. It was exhausting for this guy, at least it supposed to be because he didn't felt it. All he felt was an unknown power that they share to build this soon to be a beautiful house he's going to call it as "our home". Hardships fell upon them but recovered over time. Eventually, the house was finished. But when he was ready to open the door with joyful glee, the other person stood there, empty. He was confused "what happened?" "Nothing, I must go for a while" "huh? You're coming back aren't you?" "I don't know. Farewell..." And there she goes, for reasons he struggled to comprehend. The house is still there, pretty as always from the outside but from the inside, its empty. The guy, broken hearted, can not bear with the devastation and doesn't dare to look let alone enter the house as the memories will haunt him as he realized what the other person had done to him. So he sit there, in front of the house, waiting.... [Fin] -NPS

[yugaskarth]

Yearning for Improvement

A year ago in a makeshift “Cafe” I made somewhere near my hometown, a friend asked me with a great curiosity carved in her face, “how could you endure all those problems all by yourself?”. Confused, I replied with another question “what problems?” “You know, this and that, tit and tat, blabla and yadda yadda” she spoke as if her mouth was a parchment of my problems. I was surprised she noticed all that. “Everyone notices” she said. “Dayumn! the problem is I dont care much of those problems. Hell, I didn’t think it was a problem until you blasted it to my face right now. Well, maybe the answer to your question is I endured because I dont care about those problems… I think.” She smirked and said “then you’re on a denial”, my face turned sour. “Smartass! How do you know I’m on a denial? Wild guess?” I tried to laugh, but I can’t. “Nope, we’ve seen it. Lately we seen you sitting alone, smoking cigarettes, you seldom pray, and even you’re often annoyed if a person is trying to talk to you! Its like you’re there but you’re NOT there! You’re lifeless!!” I kept on sipping my hot coffe while she kept ranting. “we all know you, you used to be fun, adventurous, bold, stupidly manly, blablabla. Now you look like a fucking drug addict! Its because you’re not willing to talk about it to anyone and keep it to yourself. Its painful. Talk to your mom, friends, God, anyone. Let it be~ and find a girlfriend, having a partner is beneficial to shape your personality, bro.” Trembled, I replied “Shit… You’re right. But I dont have any motivation or reasons left to keep moving on my life. Well, except making my parents proud but that is not even enough.” “Then pray, bro. Ask God to give you a reason and motivation to live your life once again” “welp, maybe I should try it now” “You MUST DO it now, Yug” “okay… Okay! Btw, wouldnt you like to be my girlfriend?” “No Yug, I’m planning to marry my boyf” “ah, shame.” And so I did, pray, finishing my responsibilities, start having fun a little bit, and pray again, hang out with friends, etc. And I think finally my prayers were answered in the form of…

[yugaskarth]

Prologue

Who am I?

Well, the above question is very pure, innocent, and straightforward but the answer for that question might not be that simple.

Who am I? If it is a question about myself as a subject or a person, then let me introduce myself as Raden Narayuga Prajna Soebagjo or you can call me as Nara or Yuga, or Piton (my friends used to call me that for whatever reason). As of now, I’ve been walking on this earth for 23 years. A law school graduate since August 2016 from one of the most reputable university in Indonesia. People might think I’m an übersmart person just because I’m a bachelor of Law from University of Indonesia but no, I am not. It has been 3 months since I graduated and here I am, in my house, typing this shit as an unemployed flesh and brain.

Who am I? An ambivert who enjoys people’s company but at the same time feel annoyed and run away to find myself sitting alone near a lake, reading books, scrolling through pages and applications in my phone, while listening to music until I started to feel very lonely thus return to my friends again.

Who am I, again? A humble servant of God? A subject person of my country? Or a mere flesh and blood walking around aimlessly like a zombie? Chasing something that I don’t even know. Oh, yes I’m a Bachelor of Law! But then what? I’m not really interested with law to begin with. I dont want to be a judge, a prosecutor, or a lawyer. So;

Who am I? You might think I’m having an identity crisis. Well, you might be correct! But, are you? Frankly speaking, in my humble opinion, for a 23 years old guy like me, it is obligatory for you to already set your course and plans for the future. In order to reach those steps ergo you have to know who you are. But in my case, I’m starting to learn and accept my role for society. As myself of course. But;

Come on, who am I?! I’m a person who loves to see people smile and despise evil. I do not condone any kind of violence against God’s creatures including human. And I also like to help people so I can see them smile knowing someone is still willing to help them in this cruel and unforgiving world. Oh, I must be a very good person! Umm not really, I can be an evil bastard who loves to see someone suffer mentally if they dare to hurt me or anyone I care. Shit, I contradict myself. I said I despise evil, right? I know, that’s why I often hate myself for enjoying it.

Almost there… Who am I? Am a person who is doing his best to get rid and overcome my darkside. Feeding the good wolf and let the bad wolf to starve to death. I believe in love, compassion, and understanding. That way, I can help myself to reach happiness and success as well as helping people more efficiently. I, as a human being depends a lot to each other so we must stop being so apathetic against others. I know we can do it!

In the end, who am I? Well, allow me to say, I am a worthy person moving forward towards his dream. Sharing and spreading love to anyone I can help.

So, who are you?

[yugaskarth]

Prologue

Who am I? Well, the above question is very pure, innocent, and straightforward but the answer for that question might not be that simple. Who am I? If it is a question about myself as a subject or a person, then let me introduce myself as Raden Narayuga Prajna Soebagjo or you can call me as Nara or Yuga, or Piton (my friends used to call me that for whatever reason). As of now, I've been walking on this earth for 23 years. A law school graduate since August 2016 from one of the most reputable university in Indonesia. People might think I'm an übersmart person just because I'm a bachelor of Law from University of Indonesia but no, I am not. It has been 3 months since I graduated and here I am, in my house, typing this shit as an unemployed flesh and brain. Who am I? An ambivert who enjoys people's company but at the same time feel annoyed and run away to find myself sitting alone near a lake, reading books, scrolling through pages and applications in my phone, while listening to music until I started to feel very lonely thus return to my friends again. Who am I, again? A humble servant of God? A subject person of my country? Or a mere flesh and blood walking around aimlessly like a zombie? Chasing something that I don't even know. Oh, yes I'm a Bachelor of Law! But then what? I'm not really interested with law to begin with. I dont want to be a judge, a prosecutor, or a lawyer. So; Who am I? You might think I'm having an identity crisis. Well, you might be correct! But, are you? Frankly speaking, in my humble opinion, for a 23 years old guy like me, it is obligatory for you to already set your course and plans for the future. In order to reach those steps ergo you have to know who you are. But in my case, I'm starting to learn and accept my role for society. As myself of course. But; Come on, who am I?! I'm a person who loves to see people smile and despise evil. I do not condone any kind of violence against God's creatures including human. And I also like to help people so I can see them smile knowing someone is still willing to help them in this cruel and unforgiving world. Oh, I must be a very good person! Umm not really, I can be an evil bastard who loves to see someone suffer mentally if they dare to hurt me or anyone I care. Shit, I contradict myself. I said I despise evil, right? I know, that's why I often hate myself for enjoying it. Almost there... Who am I? Am a person who is doing his best to get rid and overcome my darkside. Feeding the good wolf and let the bad wolf to starve to death. I believe in love, compassion, and understanding. That way, I can help myself to reach happiness and success as well as helping people more efficiently. I, as a human being depends a lot to each other so we must stop being so apathetic against others. I know we can do it! In the end, who am I? Well, allow me to say, I am a worthy person moving forward towards his dream. Sharing and spreading love to anyone I can help. So, who are you?