yustardino

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things you can find on taobao:

char england(?????) football jersey

youll never wank alone or something know not a futbol

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Lives are the power that sustains the universe!!!

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Making this made me so sad

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I find it a little confusing how I watched zeta and went wow Kamille is so transmasc. and then got on tumblr and started poking around and like half the Kamille posts I saw were like "estrogen could save her" memes and other such posts. which I could be taking too seriously but genuinely estrogen would make him worse I feel???

I'm certainly biased in that I am transmasc and viewing zeta with that experience attached but I struggle to see any point where Kamille expresses anything but disdain for perceived femininity, and it only gets more intense when "girly" traits are applied to him. He gets mad enough at Jerid to punch him over calling his name a girl's name right from episode one, and he asserts furiously even while the Titans beat the shit out of him after that he's a man!

Kamille and Four's conversations about their names are really important to me in this vein too. Kamille hates his name, enough for Four to call him out on it, but he doesn't really seem to think of changing it as an option. It's the name he was given, so it's the name he's stuck with. It's this one aspect of his identity that keeps making people mistake him for or compare him to a girl, and he thinks he's powerless to change it. Again, back in episode one, he complains about Fa constantly calling out to him by name because "people will know it's me" or something along those lines. Fa doesn't understand what he's talking about, but it's exactly this that makes Jerid make that comment about it- Fa keeps calling him Kamille, and even strangers being able to figure out who she's talking to. The more she calls him Kamille, the more publicly she does it, the more people are getting that initial "girl"-ish impression of him from his name.

It doesn't entirely end at his name, but that's obviously the biggest thing that's causing girlishness to be applied to Kamille. He's got a lot he's trying to prove, and while it's mostly that he's capable and mature and these aren't necessarily gendered traits, they can still tie into his idea of masculinity- especially in a show like zeta where misogyny is honestly to be expected in almost every character. Kamille definitely gets a pretty high amount of misogyny moments himself, and he certainly applies them to everyone, but it always seems to me that the person he expects the most of this from is himself. He's supposed to be the best pilot and a strong leader and he puts up this front of always knowing what he's doing because that's what men do. He also seems to apply a lot of this to Quattro but that's an entire other can of worms. It's what's expected of him by other characters too- Kamille is, at the end of the day, still young, and a lot of his beliefs are being shaped by the AEUG members he looks up to (and also his superiors, but he's less happy about that one). Quattro is only really adding to the ideas Kamille is internalizing when they talk about it, Emma outright refuses to act as a "surrogate mother" and by extension much of a mentor figure to Kamille, Reccoa is her own can of worms, and everyone else "disciplines" Kamille for acting out on his emotions. If Kamille wants to be a man, he has to act like one, and basically everyone in the AEUG has a very particular "traditional" standard for what that means. Kamille is trying to emulate the behaviour of the men he looks up to- most obviously Quattro, since that's who he looks up to the most.

basically tldr I view Kamille Bidan as transmasc and trying to apply a sort of toxic masculinity to himself in order to be accepted as a man 👨‍🚀👍 (<- imagine that's Kamille giving his thumbs up like in the zeta opening)

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various gundam sketchbook things, been liking fountain pens recently

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I couldnt bother finishing it, but yeah... he's desperate for Amuro to join him, so sent him this in the post.

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I am both Zeta Gundam's biggest defender but I am also its biggest critic (especially with how the writers handled Fa). and so I kindly ask, please send help, the autism I have for this one mecha show is insane. I have spent well over $2,000 on merch JUST for this show alone. (I recently bought the 2004 Limited Box Set of the English Dub, please send help) I am in a constant battle between loving the show for its themes and how it ressonates with me as a trans man living in Northern Ireland (Still owned by the brits) and how Kamille hates Titans occupying his own home and their brutality leading to him getting basically radicalized towards a rebellion group where the upper ranks of said group weaponize him for their own agenda. Then the other half of me laughs at the misogyny, the stupid shit everyone does and the fact By The Lake is an episode that exists and cements alot of my problems with the final 10 episodes of Zeta Gundam with a focus on a character IRDC about due it being a repeat of what happened FOUR episodes prior when it should be given to our established cast that needs more screentime. I love this show... but I also dislike it sometimes.

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things you can find on taobao:

char's zaku ii themed sayla/artesia doll erroneously labelled as char

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point of mentally ill I've reached guys

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Putting an R on Shuji's clothing makes him look even more like Jessie and James' son than he already did. Like boy why are you timeline jumping and talking to Lieutenant Blondie, you need to be stealing Pikachu and slaying with Team Rocket instead.

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hey girl

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I think the only way to truly save Char (alongside estrogen and shadow the hedgehog) is to put him in an infinite timeloop until he gets tf over his trauma, and he can use chaos emeralds and then theres this alien who turns out to be his father and you go fast and shoot guns and thats just Shadow the Hedgehog again, got fucking damn it.

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