z1ll

[z1ll]

Hi there dear dylan, How's your life without me?

I've got letters in my chest with no name or address. I hold them closer to me than my own breath, i love you i love you i love you they all say the same no matter how many times i read. It's funny how fickle language can make you feel, no matter your logic or your knowledge. Your last message said goodbye while mine was a plea silently asking you not to leave.

I'm no hero nor a villain, all I knew was to love you, all I did was to love you, how come my book still didn't end well?

Rain drops kiss my cheek as my eyes flash with your name before it, those smiles, those giggles, those stars crossed, did they mean nothing darlin? Please tell me it wasn't just a stupid dream I once saw, and woke up with dewy eyes and melancholic haze. All my white pigeons committed suicide on threshold of your gate, I don't want to think about what I'll say if I ever run into you, I don't want to think how I'm just an erased chapter of your life while you're still a pink highlighted name in my diary. (I never had the courage to hate what we had.)

Dylan I still tremble when pictures of us together i see Don't you ever miss me? Do you never think of me? I'm still crying on the floor thinking of how I can forget my own name but I'll have difficulty forgetting that half moon smile of yours for me. I still wish sometimes we were anything but two strangers with a past buried in deep. I hope one day I forget you ever loved me. (perhaps you never did, perhaps it was just all me.)

Dylan please one day stop haunting me, please for old time's sake have mercy. Dylan please stop this heartache I carry everywhere like a souvenir of us and the way I cling to my sadness just so I can tell the world you and I were here once. Dylan please stop this growing void in my chest, your absence is heavier to bear than was the sadness of being half loved by your careless hands. Dylan please tell my foolish heart to stop for I still leave my porch lights on, just in case you accidentally forget ways and return back. Dylan please stop this burning in my lungs everytime I see you with someone else, it just hurts. I feel like screaming till I forget how I still weep somedays thinking of the time we spent together.

And dylan please just please let me breathe.

Most days i try so hard not to die, breathe by breathe I make it out alive but I still sit and cry at the love we murdered, and everything we lost. Z

[z1ll]

Let our secrets sail in the sea of our names, Look at how the tides rise beneath the divine skies, When all you do is recite a phrase as the eve tames, Fresh on my skin, where the drop lies, My soul rises as the moon carves the night. Soon doomed as the blue tinges to black, Yet tempted still to see your light, So I do not await the shore's track, For tonight shall the sea be my priceless drug. Forgive me lover for all is say, all is deceit, It pleases me to wear the sin's shrug, If you ask me to reveal, I'll refine stranded and call it sweet.

Z