zandiks-interests

[zandiks-interests]

one of the most important things about dissociative identity disorder and generally being a system that i wish people would understand is that it truly isn’t as cut and dry as it may seem for member count.

you’ll see people who say they have “six alters” and then immediately assume it’s six fully fleshed out equal individuals with no confusion or fuzziness regarding identity. that’s simply not true in a majority of cases, as i have seen.

most systems still VERY much deal with confusion regarding potential splits, go through dissociative episodes where they’re unsure of who they are, sometimes feel no attachment towards any identities, feel like they might have split and then suddenly that person is gone, unsure if alters they haven’t heard from often have gone dormant, not sure how to react when alters do come out of dormancy, etc.

it’s not a fun feeling and it’s genuinely unfair in certain situations to force systems to list every single alter to you with full certainty, as if it will never change. because it will. for so many different reasons, systems will grow, they will shrink, they will fuse, they will develop. you can’t expect the person with the dissociative disorder and lack of core identity to be able to keep up a perfected list of forever, it’s simply impossible. you may have alters who stick with you, but that doesn’t mean changes won’t happen.

and systems who may be reading this — please don’t feel bad. you are not a hassle, you are not a headache, and you are not an inconvenience for simply coping with something like this. it’s out of your control and the only thing you can do is continue to cope to find ways to help yourself retrain from these reactions. please don’t allow yourself to be harmed by others who don’t understand what you are going through. there are people who will accept and love you for who you are, all of you.

past, present, and future.

[zandiks-interests]

we tried doing this with different color bracelets, here's our experience;

A) carrying them around everywhere and possibly losing them is more stressful than we anticipated

B) we had fights over which bracelet belongs to who (because a lot of us like similar colors, this can of course be prevented if you have personalized ones as suggested with the letter-beads from OP)

C) at one point it got too annoying and we just. Dropped it entirely. (Also due to a bracelet breaking and not knowing how to proceed after, + almost losing one, + we struggle with consistency a lot — we haven't updated our Simply Plural in 2 weeks)

D) we're usually super blurry so it's hard to tell, and puts pressure on us to 'decide' who's fronting (esp when friends would ask because they noticed the lack of bracelet)

It **is** a good idea; we're considering making our own personalized bracelets and trying to get back into it. But then again, we feel like we aren't entitled to tell anyone who's fronting, we've made some experiences with favoritism and criticism of our introjects.

y'know those pronoun bracelets that genderfluid people usually use, and they change which bracelet they wear based on their gender?

what if we had those for alters, each having one alters name? I feel like it would be easier to tell who is fronting based on which bracelet you feel most connected to at the time

[zandiks-interests]

This is just a reminder that you can change

It's not "faking" if you change, it doesn't mean you made it up then or you're making it up now

THIS INCLUDES alter personality

you might be a protector now who doesn't know how to laugh, maybe in the future you'll identify more with caregiver and laugh all the time

maybe you're a gatekeeper but in the future you identify more with a persecutor

maybe you just like cats now and you hated them before

or you held an opinion you don't think anymore

that's OKAY, i can even go and say that it's perfectly normal/reasonable

people (singlets) do it all the time, it's part of life

you will experience new things that give new perspectives and new ideas

and a lot of time, it's simply unhealthy to try and stay the exact same and not adapt

[zandiks-interests]

I think people really underestimate the amount of strangeness that the average person just ignores. When it comes to systems (specifically covert systems), the amount of signs of alters that people will just ignore, seems really weird. Until you think about the fact that when a singlet meets a system, they obviously assume you’re a singlet. They get used to different alters just being part of who you are.

For example, “oh, you act like a child sometimes? That’s just who you are.” “Your personality changes a lot? That’s just how your personality is.” They get to know “you” as a sum of your alters. So they’re so used to alters fronting, they may have a hard time realizing that they even are alters.

[zandiks-interests]

Hello, Adults on Sysblr!

Are you looking for a mature safe space, made by systems for other systems?

Are you tired of the constant drama and huge blacklists on system discord servers?

Do you have controversial introjects that get hated on for no reason?

Do you want a space strictly for adults only?

Well, I got good news for you then!

I introduce to you: The System Hub!

https://discord.com/invite/NkkgzESMEA

Rules:

0) Endos & singlets: DNI

1) You can only join if you are bodily 18 years old or above

2) The alters participating in the server need to be 18 years or older, too

> (if you have headmates that are below 18, please keep them away from the server!)

3) And, of course, be nice and civil.

A small addendum (and possibly a bit of a rant?):

We've had several run-ins with systems who didn't agree to those rules, even though they're, like... The only rules that we have.

No minors, be it bodily or headspace.

That's it. That's the rules. We've made them very clear on our first post, too. That's the whole point of the server.

Please respect that boundary we set. It's a boundary you're overstepping and questioning, and it's not your place.

[zandiks-interests]

y’all is it normal to like. NEVER know who’s fronting 😭 like obviously we can tell sometimes but most of the time it’s just a “don’t know, don’t care, fuck it we ball” situation 😭

[zandiks-interests]

my pronouns are *chainsaw revving sound* and *blood splattering sound*

[zandiks-interests]

t4t couple kissing sloppy style for free hrt

[zandiks-interests]

to the alters who split and then never got seen again:

Where tf are you

[zandiks-interests]

[zandiks-interests]

plural fictive culture is getting absolutely embarrassed whenever you have to introduce yourself like noooooooo I can't just tell people I'm [popular fictional character] I'm gonna need to start using code names or something...

.

[zandiks-interests]

Introject plural culture is "I'm not my source" but also *sees source and points* that's me :D

.

[zandiks-interests]

Plural culture is “How do I introduce myself to people our main host is friends with?” It always feels so awkward … We usually have the problem of accidentally switching mid-conversation too, so that makes it even more annoying!

- 🌷

.

[zandiks-interests]

i dont want to be a functional member of society i want to be. a good boy and a faggot

[zandiks-interests]

is the tgirl wearing a collar doing it because she has a fetish, or just because it's a cute accessory? is the gay man in leather and a pup mask actually being "indecent" or is he just dressed up like a dog because it's fun? are drag queens doing it because crossdressing is sexy or because drag is an expression of who they are as a person? does the furry walking around in full suit have a boner under their outfit or do they just like cosplaying as their cute cartoon squirrel oc?

you will never know. you can never tell. sometimes even the people doing these things won't have an answer. is it a sex thing? is it kink? who fucking knows! there is no line! public expressions of sexuality aren't immoral to begin with, but if you make any attempt to suppress them, you have to decide what is and isn't allowed, and you are going to get it wrong. there is no way to untangle kink from personality and hobbies and interests. kink does not even necessarily involve sex. sometimes it's just self-expression and vulnerability and sharing a particular dynamic with another person. sounds a lot like (checks notes) literally every other human experience that exists.

i'll say it again: the person wearing a leash in your vicinity is not sexually assaulting you. they're just wearing a leash.

[zandiks-interests]

Plural culture is constantly fake-claiming yourself because your system is 75% introjects and you were a roleplayer before you discovered the rest of your system.

.

[zandiks-interests]

Plural Culture is wanting people to know you're fronting but not wanting to actually say anything or be treated differently because you like being treated like the host you just with they knew it was you

- CB