zantumlol

[zantumlol]

Choosing a video

[zantumlol]

Download

Posted anonymously, 12th of February.

You know that feeling, when you meet someone interesting, and you want to know more? You know there’s more behind what they’re saying – so much knowledge, so much insight? When you can’t get enough, and wish you could connect to their brain and download everything, all at once?

You do know that feeling, right? I’m not the only one who gets that?

I met a girl online, let’s call her Amy. We were into the same things, and hung around on the same servers. I got that feeling. We were on the same wavelength. We sat up all night talking, for months. That was still too slow. The feeling got stronger.

Then, 5th of January: I dreamed that we were both robots. She had a port in her head. I had a cable attached to mine. I connected the cable and started the download.

She wasn’t online the next day or the day after. That was the longest we hadn’t spoken in months. I messaged her every day, but she didn’t reply. A month later, I still hadn’t heard from her.

But every night I dreamed about her. In the dreams, she had moved into town. We had the conversations we would have had online. The dream version of her felt just as real as the real version I was pining for. I knew I was dreaming – unusual for me – but didn’t mention it.

During the day, I found myself thinking about her, and… knowing things. I knew her sister’s address and her mum’s birthday. I remembered her first day at school. She hadn’t told me any of this. I was convinced my mind was making it up, inventing details to use in the dreams.

Sometimes, in the dreams, she said she missed her old town. But, 2nd of February: she sighed in relief and said she was finally free from that. This was her home now.

Three days later, I got a message from her mum. She had gone into Amy’s phone, seen my name and our messages, realised I was someone important to Amy – and now she was breaking the news to me. On the 5th of January, Amy had gone into a coma. On the 2nd of February, her condition had worsened suddenly, and they had switched off the life support. Amy was dead.

I was devastated. I couldn’t tell her that just last night, Amy had told me how glad she was she’d moved to where I lived.

You could say this is when I first broke with reality. But I know better.

My mind went back to the first dream. The download was supposed to be ‘copy’, not ‘move’. Who ever heard of ‘download’ being a destructive operation? That was the fantasy, not this.

You can see how I was already thinking.

I confirmed it when I logged into Amy’s email with the password I knew – that she would never have told anyone – and the password was correct.

The robots were metaphors, but somehow the act was real. I’ve stolen my best friend’s mind, and she doesn’t even realise.

The dream version is the real version now, I’m sure of that. She’s a whole other person inside of me. I can choose when to run her. When she isn’t running, every part of her is accessible to me – all her knowledge, all her memories, all her experience. Just as I wished. I could imitate her words or actions perfectly. And when she’s running, she has no idea that everything there is fake. She has no idea that she’s dead.

How do I tell her? Should I tell her? Should I run her at all?

Probably you don’t believe me. You haven’t seen the proof, after all. Maybe you think I’m making it up to cover something more mundane. Well, humour me. Pretend. I ran away from my home, my life. I’m hiding now. I can’t talk to anyone I know, not about this. I don’t know if I’m safe to be around, or safe to be online. What if I meet someone else, and it happens again? What if I decide I like it, and make it happen again?

I don’t know what to do.

What should I do?

Please help me.

Tag list (tell me if you want to be added):

@ask-de-writer @avery-victoria-winterlight @dierotenixe @leahnardo-da-veggie @lunadook

@mint-and-authoress @reliableslimegal @sandyca5tle @scrubbinn @theriomythic-lesbian

@void-botanist @wuwojiti @zzzestyy

[zantumlol]

Hello, we are in a pretty rough situation this month and we need help to ba able to pay rent.

So we have Emergency Commissions open now. All of them have cheaper prices than before and you can get them on VGen [VGen]

If you want to donate here is my wife Ko-Fi [Ko-Fi]

Everything helps and sorry for having to ask this

[zantumlol]

I drew a strawberry inspired demon a while ago for my art class, I think I posted that art here? Anyway, redrew her with her hair down :3

vv Timelapse: 6 minutes-ish vv

[zantumlol]

Do We Own What We "Buy"?

As a child, I remember after birthdays getting some money from various family members and then being able to go to Toys ”R” Us. I was looking for a replacement for “Lego Batman 2” on my Xbox 360 since my disc got too scratched up to be read. But by the time the third Lego Batman came out, I was able to purchase it straight from the Xbox One store.

Online purchasing quickly became the main way in which not just video games but mostly all forms of media have been sold lately. Having everything online was more convenient and much more manageable. Instead of having to have all your discs on a tower in the corner of your living room, you could have them in your streaming library.

The movement to the online store was welcomed by most and just seemed like the most logical transition.

Physical media slowly started to be phased out and only used for nostalgic reasons or for collectors. I don’t get that same feeling of going out and getting that game I've been waiting for, but it’s just so much easier to just download it straight from my couch. I never saw a real problem with this, especially since as I got older I got more into computer games.

Computer games are all purchased online, and by this time I was already used to not having physical discs anymore, so it wasn’t a steep transition. I, like most people, believed that once you buy a game online, you own it as if it were a physical disc, but this isn’t the case.

Recently, I heard about how Steam, a popular digital distribution platform to buy computer games, is going to start notifying consumers about how they aren’t truly purchasing the game. When you purchase a game online, you simply purchase the license to play it. So if Steam were to one day decide to take the game off of its service, then you would lose access to it and could often be subject to no refunds.

This is the case with most online purchases, such as a movie on Amazon Prime, and it led me to think… do we really own anything we buy online? It says we own it once we submit the money, but in reality, the company could revoke the license whenever they wish. As opposed to when we purchased physical copies of games or movies, they couldn’t take those away.

Online media is much more convenient than its physical counterpart, but we might’ve given up more than we realized with not genuinely owning what we buy.

Source: Do We Own What We "Buy"?

[zantumlol]

Old Spyce.

[zantumlol]

In Life

thank you to @starwaycereal for commissioning me to write this poem, really enjoyed the work. There was once an artist of ancient power, Their unknown origins fueled their hunger. Their eyes could see the pain in all. Their words help’d the ill, their heart strengthen the weak. In their life, they knew not of tricks.

They would spread kindness to those who deserved it, They have shown roads to those who would travel it. Their long path was unclear to all, Except for a few, they chose to travel with. In their life, they knew not of filth.

The roads they took had many dangers ahead, Dangers the companions knew not to be messed. The reason why is vague to all, But they shaped the dangers into something great! In their life, they knew not of mistake…

One-by-one the companions had went away Leading the lonely and great artist astray Their cries went through the lands of old They floated down on the vacant grass and said "In my life I knew most of pain"

In their sadness their eyes slowly filled with tears The artist we knew, journey of a healer's Had spread their great pain to us all "At the highest of highs I was described as I heard the most pain of all ears"

[zantumlol]

Open for commission accept paypal as payment method

[zantumlol]

Hi everyone!

Recently it's been difficult putting out new content and creating more full pieces of art/ more polished work with college. I know that the wait times for these new pieces are pretty long and I wanted to let you all know that there are now a few easy ways to support me to help me out!

- My patreon is now open! Here, you'll be able to find monthly sketches, exclusive pieces, previews of future posts! It's also just a really awesome way to support me while getting to see the behind-the-scenes!

- My digital commissions are also open! Typically most pieces range from $15- $100 USD but can go higher. I'm also working on getting a more formal commission sheet working. Though until then, please send me a dm or an ask about it! My message boxes are open on pretty much all social media so please don't be afraid to ask me about it!

Currently working on a lot more but until then, thank you! I'll be sure to work hard to create new stuff for you!

[zantumlol]

How do you make people fall in love with you

challenge them to a duel 

[zantumlol]

biblically accurate anti-light

[zantumlol]

...

...ok so I'm blaming @crazygnomenclature entirely for putting this in my head this morning.

Well, Fran??

WELL????

[zantumlol]

WIP but it was fitting

[zantumlol]

whenever i'we worked long enough on an artwork that my tailbone starts to hurt i usually take a break to stretch and share the WIP with some one and since i'we seen allot of Roe deer at work, i decided to draw one, enjoy

[zantumlol]

Sketches of the new pages

[zantumlol]

Misogyny.

[zantumlol]