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OH NO HE'S TOO PRETTY

This whole pretty rook deal is making me want to make the most final fantasy looking motherfucker you've ever seen.

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@tiravi ya boi escaped the character creator and he's so pretty

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Could Have Been Worse

Characters: Hiro 'Rook' Laidir (aka Arun of Dairsmund); Varric Tethras Words: 591 Summary: (Pre-Veilguard) Hiro deals with the aftermath of a wildly destructive decision, but it's less of a death sentence than he expected. Notes: Finally got Rook!Hiro's backstory down (I say finally like he existed before two days ago). Written for @flashfictionfridayofficial

On the backswing the shield was let loose, ricocheting off the walls until it struck the idol mid-air, shattering it on impact. What Rook should have expected was the following explosion and structural weakness causing the ruin to crumble around them. “Oh… Dammit.”

Rook was sitting on the edge of his bedroll, legs folded. He read and re-read the letter in his hands as if something would change. And yet, the words stubbornly remained, ‘Until the heat dies down.’ He smiled weakly at an approaching older dwarf. “Looks like you’re stuck with me a while longer.”

---

“Get behind me!” Rook barked, steel targe raised as another barrage of heat and fire came for him and two dwarves who immediately dove for cover. They might have looked small but their shield never failed them. Even with the constant attack, they were able to push forward, closing the distance to the cursed idol that lay on the stones between him and their blood mage attackers. Behind them stood their traitor, a Rivaini noble who used their expedition to gain access to their illicit trophy. 

Rook should have known, but nobles were always hiring the Lords of Fortune to retrieve some artifact or another then immediately beg onto the trip to taste adventure in Rivain’s famous ruins. How were they to know that this one had any ulterior motives? Thankfully, he didn’t have any hidden skills, trusting the Venatori mages he brought with him to take care of the dirty work. 

As the attacks reached a lull while the mages recharged, Rook had already removed their grappling hook from their waist. A flick of his wrist and it went flying, catching the idol on the first throw. A quick yank and the artifact pulsing with a disturbing energy was theirs. 

“You little brat!” the Noble cursed before ordering the mages forward.

“You want it so bad?!” Rook yelled back, sweeping the idol off the floor. “Take it!” 

“What?!” one of the dwarves behind shrieked as Rook hurled the idol at the mages with full force. 

On the backswing the shield was let loose, ricocheting off the walls until it struck the idol mid-air, shattering it on impact. What Rook should have expected was the following explosion and structural weakness causing the ruin to crumble around them.

“Oh… Dammit.” 

---

“That’s alright, Kid.” The older dwarf had taken a seat next to him, trying to be consoling. “Hey, could have been worse. We might not have been able to dig that shield of yours out of the rubble.” 

“I appreciate it, truly.” Rook kept a soft smile. They had spent so much energy trying to get on this expedition. Varric was one of Isabela’s best friends, and Rook idolized her. And Varric had stories for days. So did Harding, the other younger dwarf who was always at his side. “I’m not even worried about that. I want to be here. I begged for it! To actually travel and explore, I’m having a great time.”

“Then why the face?”

“Oh. I’m not worried about me. I’m not even worried in general. But, it’s Nanay. My mother.”

“Right, the noble. I’m sure Isabela will have someone watching your parents while you’re away.”

Rook waved a hand dismissively. “No, I have friends for that. Trust me, no one’s getting near them.”

“Then what’s the problem?”

“She’s going to be pissed.”

He chuckled. “Why?”

“Oh, getting the attention of the Queen would have made her lifetime. Or any royal, really. She’s like that. And, now she does! Except it’s because her son’s Rivain’s most wanted.”

“It can’t be that bad!” The laugh was as light as it was coarse.

He shuddered. “You’ve never met a Rivaini mother. Trust me, being here is as safe as I’m going to be.” 

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"I will not post anything sad for at least a week," Toshi lied.

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Happy World Ocean Day 🐠🦈🐟

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The INCREDIBLE Sathynae made this painting of Viago, inspired by my fic Requiem, and OH MY GOD OH MY GOD I am so unwell about both this art and this man!!! I’m absolutely blown away by the painting, the fact that this was inspired by something I wrote is just surreal. Please check it out on their DeviantArt - and if you’re a fellow Viago Enjoyer™️, maybe consider checking out my fic, too ❣️😚

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Seal yourself away from stress 🦭🎶

Time to channel your inner harbor seal—wherever you are!

Whether you’re lounging at home, soaking up the sun, or just imagining the ocean breeze, let yourself relax and play like a seal gliding through kelp forests alongside your favorite flippered friends.

In our latest Krill Waves Radio, you’ll see these cuties lounging, swimming, and vibing in seal colonies. All paired perfectly with mellow lo-fi beats. 🎶

Tune in, unwind, study, or just enjoy and catch some serious seal serenity: https://youtu.be/r4fsBII2ZlU 

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EVKA IVO Dragon Age: The Veilguard

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Feeling like a god yet?

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More Fantasy western stuff

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Cooking with Scout Harding: Älplermagronen

For HardingWeek25 day 5, prompt: "cooking"!

We all decided that according to the "recipes" given by Harding in game, she isn't really a big cook, but let me show you that pasta with cheese and apples can be absolutely delicious, as demonstrated by this traditional Swiss comfort food recipe that translates as "Alpine Herdsman's Maccaroni"

To feed 6-8 regular sized humans, elves or dwarves (or 4 big qunari), you need:

500g waxy potatoes, peeled and cut into 2-3cm cubes

500g smooth tube-shaped pasta such as short ziti/macaroni, or if you can't find those, use penne

300ml heavy cream

300g shredded cheese ("gratin cheese mix" or similar is perfectly fine). Gruyère/Emmental is great, but please don't use Mozzarella or processed cheese: wrong taste!

2 large onions, sliced thinly into rings or half-moons

Pepper, salt, nutmeg to taste

3 Tbsp butter

2 Tbsp flour

2 veggie bouillon cubes (enough for 1L of water)

Applesauce, as much as desired. Store bought or homemade both work! Rule of thumb: About one 400g can for 4 humans/elves/dwarves or 2-3 qunari

Optional: 1-2 sour apples, cut into thin wedges or cubes

Preparation:

Toss sliced onions in flour to coat, then fry in butter on medium heat until golden (will take 5-10 mins), set aside

2. Boil 2L of water, add bouillon cubes, and cook the cubed potatoes for approx. 8 mins on med-high heat

3. Add pasta, stir well, then let simmer, stirring occasionally, for another 10-ish mins until tender, drain

4. Add the heavy cream and 100ml water to the hot pan. Add pasta and potatoes and mix well to coat, then add pepper, salt and nutmeg to taste. Don't oversalt, as the cheese will be salty as well!

5. Preheat oven to 200C.

6. In an ovenproof casserole dish, add 1/2 of the potato-noodle-cream mixture, then top with 1/4 of the fried onion and 1/2 of the shredded cheese, then repeat, ending with the cheese.

OPTIONAL: You can add your sliced apple before topping with the cheese if you want it to roast a bit!

7. Bake for 15mins until top is bubbly and golden

8. Serve garnished with the remaining fried onions and a generous dollop of applesauce (and sliced apples if they haven't been added yet). Go ahead, mix everything, and enjoy!

This might not be 100% how Harding would make her Älplermagronen, but I'm sure she'd love it. Let me know if you try this recipe, and happy Harding Week :)

Addendum:

There is actually a shortcut if you don't feel like baking this dish in the oven. In this case, just dump all of the cheese into the pot after step 4 (make sure that both potatoes and pasta are well cooked) and mix everything until melted. Add more spices or salt if needed, then serve immediately with onion, apples and applesauce. That's actually the way the alpine herdsmen used to do it, straight from the cauldron*!

Optional:

You can add store-bought deep-fried onions as topping for added crunch, or add crispy bacon bits to make it non-Nevarran.

Älplermagronen goes well with a side salad such as lettuce with balsamic vinaigrette, and a cup of strong, unsweetened black tea to offset the heaviness of the dish.

*not that Cauldron, luckily!

As always, thank you so much @datvcompanionweeks for organising, it's been so much fun so far :)

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Rook: Fuck all of this Blight.

Davrin: I have the Blight. Fuck me.

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Hiro Laidir: Lore Dump

About Hiro:

Human Warrior and Lord of Fortune

Rivaini Native 

Introduces himself as Hiro, it is absolutely not his name. 

Flower: Bird of Paradise

Smallest by weight on any security detail

Good at: Trap Setting; Shield Tactics

Bad at: Trap Disabling; Finesse

Romance: TBD; Token: A gold coin tied to a jade ring

Preferred Gifts: Books (preferably Romance and Adventure); Coins; Stones; Carvings

Questionnaire

1: Where in the Thedas is your Rook from? Dairsmuid, Rivain

2: What is your character's alignment? Chaotic Good

3: Race and subclass? Human Warrior, Slayer Specialization

4: If your Rook was a companion, where would they be found? Rivaini Coast

5: What emotion did they usually pick? Good, Sarcastic

6: What companion are you platonically close with? Davrin, he thinks all of his stories are fictional.

7: Romantically close with? Harding Maybe? 

8: Who are they suspicious of? No one, he tends not to be suspicious of people.

9: Does your Rook get along with their chosen Faction? Yes. They’re painfully enthusiastic about everything, even though their skillset means they’re left behind for defense and not for the fun ‘scour the crypts’ or ‘fight the dragons’ kind of jobs.

10: Are they proficient in playing any instruments? Kubing, a mouth harp made out of bamboo

11: Weapon of choice? Rivaini Thornback (Targe)

12: What is their orientation? Male / Pansexual

13: What are their thoughts on killing? Is it a necessary evil or do they enjoy it? Only in self-defense and prefers non-lethal takedowns. 

14: What hobbies does your Rook have? Exploring everything.

15: What NPCs do they like? Which one's do they dislike? They like Myrna, partially because of the Mourn Watch’s general view of spirits, but also she seems to 

16: Do they have a favorite creature in the Thedas? Pangolins! They’re weird looking and armored.

17: Do they enjoy life as an adventurer? Yes, there’s so many things to look at and touch and take!

18: What would your Rook be doing if they weren't recruited by Varric? Working security for the Lords of Fortune

19: How do you think they'll meet their end? Falling into a hole, honestly.

20: Would they side with Solas or fight him? They would try to convince him to stop, buying Emmrich’s spirit argument.

21: What is your Rook's favorite ability? For Gold and Glory

22: What languages is your character fluent in? Rivaini, Trade, Antivan. 

23: What do they do after an absolute crisis? Goes catatonic.

24: Does your character believe in the afterlife? Sort of. They have a very good relationship with spirits, but otherwise spend very little time thinking about it.

25: What specialization best represents your Rook? Sabotuer (They should have been a rogue.)

26: What animal best represents your Rook? Lemur

27: What was their life like before the events of Veilguard? Directionless. They love the Lords of Fortune, but they always want to do more.

28: Is your character the de facto leader of the party? Or do they consider someone else to be the leader? They would be following Neve’s advice the entire time. She seems like the only adult in the room.

29: If you could choose a different faction for your Rook, which one would they have joined and why? They would sign on with the Veiljumpers, fully enticed with the hunt for magical artifacts. They’re not really comfortable with the killing for money deal or tied up enough in Thedosian politics to join up with the Shadow Dragons.

30: What's your favorite thing about your Rook? Something about having full on Anime Protag energy just makes me laugh.

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THE PS5 IS NO LONGER SHOWING 1000 PLAY HOURS IN THIS GD GAME! HOORAY! NOW I ONLY HAVE A VERY MANAGEABLE PROBLEM AND NOT GIVE TOSHI AN INTERVENTION PROBLEM

Oh no y'all the number is getting bigger again why

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FIFTEEN MINUTES. VANILLA PS5 BS DEFAULT NAME AND LOOK AT THIS ABSOLUTE ANIME BOI.

Fuckin absolutely tired mfrs.

Oh no he's too pretty. What have I done.

This whole pretty rook deal is making me want to make the most final fantasy looking motherfucker you've ever seen.

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This whole pretty rook deal is making me want to make the most final fantasy looking motherfucker you've ever seen.