zenoslittlebunbun

[zenoslittlebunbun]

8th attempt... Didn't work...

[zenoslittlebunbun]

I have gone insane.

Several days ago I've gotten very drunk. And I've created a monster. I've been on VC with my ingame husband and I've been trying to come up with the most 'MURICA thing ever. And it went out of hand.

So very out of hand I started getting AI to generate pictures. But it did not stop there. I've explained my.... vision... to the best of my ability to the AI, in my drunken haze. And the AI was able to summarize it. "Roarin’ down Route 66 in a monster truck as big as Texas itself, the Statue of Liberty’s behind the wheel, her torch replaced with a steering wheel, her eyes fixed on the horizon. In the trunk, Uncle Sam’s got himself a riot launcher, but this ain’t no ordinary launcher—it’s loaded with solidified corn syrup shells packed with bacon bits. The barrel? Shaped like a bald eagle, wings spread wide, with Old Glory hangin’ from each side. On the passenger seat, there’s a fast food tray holdin’ a slice of apple pie and a red Solo cup filled to the brim with beer. The front end of the truck sports a golden miniature Predator drone, gleamin’ in the sun like a badge of honor. And every time that launcher fires, it lets out a screech that’d make any bald eagle proud. Oil pumps dot the landscape, pumpin’ black gold from the earth, as this all-American convoy blazes a trail of freedom and glory. Now that’s what I call “MURICA!”"

Drunk on copious amounts of Vodka and power, I've gone further. I've had another AI turn it into a song. "(Verse 1) Rollin’ down Route 66, in a truck as big as dreams, Lady Liberty’s drivin’, with a fire in her eyes that gleams. Uncle Sam’s in the back, with a launcher in his hand, Shootin’ corn syrup shells, bacon bits across the land.

(Chorus) Oh, it’s MURICA, land of the free, With eagles screamin’ loud, and flags flyin’ proud, you’ll see. From the oil pumps to the open road, In a monster truck, we’re carryin’ the load.

(Verse 2) On the passenger seat, there’s a feast for the ride, Apple pie and beer, in a red Solo cup by her side. With a golden drone on the hood, shinin’ bright, We’re cruisin’ through the heartland, day and night.

(Chorus) Oh, it’s MURICA, land of the free, With eagles screamin’ loud, and flags flyin’ proud, you’ll see. From the oil pumps to the open road, In a monster truck, we’re carryin’ the load.

(Bridge) Banjo’s playin’, fiddles singin’, Freedom’s callin’, bells are ringin’. With every shot, the eagle’s cry, We’re livin’ large, reachin’ for the sky.

(Chorus) Oh, it’s MURICA, land of the free, With eagles screamin’ loud, and flags flyin’ proud, you’ll see. From the oil pumps to the open road, In a monster truck, we’re carryin’ the load.

(Outro) So raise your cup, and take a bite, In this land of dreams, we’ll ride all night. With Liberty and Sam, side by side, In this MURICA truck, we’ll take the ride."

It should have stopped there. It did not stop there. I've gone beyond. I've found an AI to turn the written song... Into an actual song. In a country American style.

And so it was created. But that wasn't enough. You see, I do love aggrotech. Techno. Industrial. German aggrotech, techno, industrial music. And the like. So of course you can imagine the expected progression. https://youtu.be/uaRk8NLfCVA?si=pOVBtgYLaV705TSW https://youtu.be/q5yUdDoOgOg?si=jWrssqkWy6PkJOI8 https://youtu.be/wg78Z6RLa0w?si=qY8HCriyEnlA0_nJ But somehow, that wasn't enough. You see, I also love Warhammer 40k. I've read almost all of Horus Heresy. And countless amounts of other Wh40k books. Played all the games. Watched all the things. And recently, Space Marine 2 came out. And.... I wasn't happy. "This game is... Well, hot garbage. 1) It is badly optimized. 2) it doesn't support options like FoV or shoulder sweap 3) It still doesn't support ultrawide Edit: It does support private play now 4) It doesn't support private play 5) it doesn't support Solo play even though devs officially stated it would be there on release for Operations (they stated so in May) 6) It's far from lore accurate (even though devs claimed otherwise in May) 6a) Bolters are weak. Space marines are weak. To explain, you are playing as a Primaris Space Marine. That's like even more on steroids than normal Space Marines. And you are WEAK. 6b) Why bolters are weak? Bolters are traditionally not shown having scopes or stocks because they are used by Space Marines. Space Marines are strong enough to hold those massive cannons of rocket launcher ammunition that turns enemies into space mist without any recoil when hip firing. Space marines are able to hit bullseyes without scopes. That does not happen. 6c) You see, Space Marine 2's Primaris Space Marines are so weak they can't aim straight. The bullet spread from a bolter when you hip fire is so bad you can hip fire shoot at something a meter away from you and encircle said enemy without harming them while aiming at the enemy. 7) The armor customization is sub-par. The models are limited. It is worse in PvP. 8) Speaking of dev-guaranteed "100% lore accuracy", Primaris Space Marines are some how as tall as Chaos Space Marines. Primarines should be bigger. 9) When you actually end up playing with bots, the bots are utterly useless. For a game where devs stated in May that you will be able to play operations solo, this is ridiculous. The enemies will 99% of the time ONLY go for YOU and ignore bots. Only YOU can do objectives. Their scripting is absolute BS and no amount of "increasing aggressiveness" can help that (the bots are utter garbage even on easiest difficulty, which they stated they will NOT touch on when it comes to bots.) 10) The game is missing sorely needed Connectivity options. You want to play Private? Denied. You want to play Solo? Denied. No region blocking. No matchmaking based on ping. No ability to know ANY of that when you are starting an Operation. You will choose your class. Start loading into an operation. Then you will be back in the Lobby, seeing someone else took your class (after sometimes 6 minutes of connectiong) and will have to leave (or they will kick you anyway). Here's another 4 minutes of loading for you. Or you will just wait for ten minutes trying to play only for it to fail. It's a hot garbage. A disaster. I absolutely regret my decision in buying this game. The devs didn't patch anything since release. They stated they will NOT add FoV because of some "vision" they have while for some people low FoV makes them sick even in third person games. And I'm not even gonna get into the game bugging out so hard for my friends with 4GB VRAM cards where for whatever reasons models and other assets will not load."

^ this was my Steam review. But I did not give up then.

For once in my life, I've involved myself with the community.

But alas. As it seemed the devs didn't even check the "Ideas" website they made, before I started drinking, I was broken.

Yes, in the Space Marine game, you can't even do the grab the flamer, heavy flamer meme.

And since I was drunk, and broken, and drunk with power, not only Vodka. And I was already insane after the 'MURICA songs...

Well, I went beyond shitposting. I went beyond reddit grade shitposting. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MdAx_mZPCE0

Yes, I've summarized all my issues and facts about the game, to make the perfect prompt for AI to write a song about the issues. And then had AI turn it into a song.

I did not stop there.

Since the devs are Saber Interactive, they are Russian speaking.

Yes, I made a Russian version.

AND

Even MORE Russian version. That's like straight from Russian pop.

And since I do like German aggrotech, it followed.

So.... How were your last 7 days?

[zenoslittlebunbun]

Got a crazy idea, 3 hours in, crashed right before getting to fine tune fingers, apply shaders and take proper camera angles for proper screenshots..... But decided I'd share panic mid-crashing one anyway ♥....

[zenoslittlebunbun]

I've removed my Tumblr from my char's Insta and Twitter. Just so I can OOC vent as much as I can.

And somehow today just being logged on brings me to tears and hurts my chest. Maybe it's the ungodly amounts of caffeine and not sleeping for 4 days. Maybe the betrayal of trust that I've had in friends I've known for 10 months now. Who knows.

[zenoslittlebunbun]

[zenoslittlebunbun]

[zenoslittlebunbun]

[zenoslittlebunbun]

It's good to unwind every now and then ♥

[zenoslittlebunbun]

OOC. Why I'm absent so much.

[zenoslittlebunbun]

OOC ahead. Don't bother reading if you don't want to.

Sorry there weren't any new updates. Work is exhausting and it seems I've fallen to seasonal depression. But I have plans to continue. I've spent two days making the skin mod for my little trash bun and it was certaily worth it. And no I'm not into hurting others, if anything, my little trashy bun bun is self projection. Right now I'm working on writing where my bun bun goes next, but if you write a lot, I guess you know how it is. He makes his own choices and it's kinda difficult to change that. I'm also working on tattoo design for my 9th tattoo.

I was thinking long and hard about where he goes, the idea that spoke to me the most was the idea that future WoL and G'raha before becoming Exarch spent time together, WoL would visit him at the tower before ultimately dying in that future. Time being what helped bun bun get over losing Zenos, and eventually finding a way with G'raha being always there. But with Shadowbringers happening, bun bun never got the time to let go, instead more ways to grasp at fake hopes. So I was thinking of a story of unrequited love, healing, trying to help my bun bun recover from the hardship.

That's about all. Back to researching G'raha's behaviour I guess. Yay.

[zenoslittlebunbun]

"... so... Was it worth it?" That's what he asked me. He'd see me venture into the depths of the Palace for days, alone. Weeks. Months. Was... What... Worth it? I remember finding the Palace for the first time. A place where my powers didn't matter, there would always be a limit. A magic that defied any logic and reason. Ah, right. I came here seeking a thrill. To come as close to burning out my life as possible, pushing my limits to maximum. Chasing that feeling...

"Usually even the bravest and most skilled aventures would leave after braving the Palace fully once." He continued as I have kept quiet, pondering his first question.

"I... Don't think so?" My final answer came out more of a question. I've slowly gathered what energy remained in me before I'd pass out again and got up. How long was I in the Palace anyway? I guess I would find out when I get to Gridania. I didn't want to ask the guard, just wanted to go back to a safe place to rest for a while, eat, drink. "Wait, adventurer! You've left behind your weapons." he gestured towards the Kinna weapons I've gathered. The third and final set.

"You can keep them if you'd like, or give them away to other adventurers." I've given him most of the gil I've had on me for the inconvenience of keeping such weapons around and spent the rest for a potion and a small meal from local merchant before heading to Gridania.

Back then, I thought that this part of my life was over. I thought that I'd never come back here. After all, this place had nothing else to offer to me. I've heard of two other places, similar, more challanging, more difficult to conquer. First a place in Onokoro and then another at the Eight Sentinels.

Little did I know I'd come back here again, not even so long after.

[zenoslittlebunbun]

"... And that's where the story ends. Or begins. Idling life away at Limsa Lominsa before another crisis. Still gathering artifacts and rituals... Just in case. In case there could be a way to bring him back. Growing herbs and experimenting at my house in the Mist. Venturing into the most dangerous places, trying to feel even a little bit alive. Trying to feel even a little bit like with him."

[zenoslittlebunbun]

"...being brought back, I thought I would be fine just existing until the next calamity. The next crisis or disaster. But the time idling around just made me more aware of how empty and dead I feel these days with him gone. I've began seeking whatever could make me feel even a little alive. Or whatever could bring back even slightly similar feeling to what I've felt with him. I've left my all powerful equipment with my "friends" and began exploring the most dangerous places in Eorzea, in the universe. In the past and other shards. But nothing seems to truly spark that feeling of being alive..."

[zenoslittlebunbun]

"...it was over again, it was over too soon, so soon... again..."

"Never have I understood those around me. Their obsessions-" "YOU ARE MY OBSESSION! Don't... Don't go..."

"...and this time I knew that there was no way to bring you back again. I was ready to let go. Finally, I could let go. My life was complete, I had no reason to come back. But they forced me to come back anyway. Their own attachments to me more important than my wishes. And when I've opened my eyes surrounded by my "friends" again, I wasn't alive anymore. Not inside. The me that truly enjoyed being alive, felt alive, was gone. Still there at the end of the universe, right next to him..."

[zenoslittlebunbun]

"...in the end, I didn't have to do anything to bring you back. Here you were. Right in front of me, again and again. My life finally had meaning once more. There, at the end of the universe, I was exactly at the place where I wanted to be: With you..."

[zenoslittlebunbun]

"...and then it happened. Another crisis. Another calamity. And by some miracle, some twist of fate, he was back. But during our first meeting, he didn't recognize me. I looked different, my aether tainted beyond any redemption. And I did what disappointed him the most, or rather, I didn't do what he wanted. I didn't fight back, and he'd leave again. Sure in his mind that it wasn't me..."

[zenoslittlebunbun]

"...but even with my hopes up, it was difficult. I'd see him everywhere. I knew it wasn't real, I knew it couldn't be. I'd continue my research and work to bring him back. There was a long list of materials, some seemingly impossible to attain. Artifacts of immense power. But I¨d not give up. I couldn't..."