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Proper Care & Feeding for your Goblin Partner

Goblins need a balanced diet of 462 snacks per day. While your Goblin may also partake in "meals" it is essential that they have steady access to foods they can haphazardly shovel into their mouths.

Put a tiny, domesticated creature, like a cat or a snake, or a slightly larger creature like a dog or a horse, near your Goblin. They will be delighted. Expect shrill squealing.

Goblins need piles of Soft things to cocoon in periodically. To preserve their strength.

If your Goblin is hydrophobic, as many are, you will need to periodically prod them into the shower. Be Very Careful. There is a very high Bite Risk during shower prodding.

If your Goblin is the hydrophilic variety, you may need to periodically remove them from showers (or streams, lakes, big puddles, etc.) Be Very Careful. There is a very high Bite Risk during shower removal.

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They have their own idle animations lol

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you look beautiful honey

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The House in the Cerulean Sea by TJ Klune 🌻 I am smitten with this book

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i will admit i have looked upon men with a lustful gaze in my time

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The generation gap between me and ppl of my own age

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the r/curatedtumblr -> tumblr migration is so funny to me. it's like going to the zoo and enjoying it so much you climb into the enclosure to live with the monkeys

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funniest thing about the “reddit migration” is that I haven’t seen a single post shitting on anyone coming from Reddit. when twitter started bleeding users everyone was firing rent-lowering posts but with redditors skittering about we’ve left the doors open and put out food bowls

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not everyone that loves horror is fucked in the head and you shouldnt assume they are!! i of course am but not everyone is

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life tip: you can listen to a song on loop

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We all know Furbies lay Orbeez eggs that Worms on a String hatch from, but did you know that when a Furby escapes captivity it will revert back to its feral long worm form in less than a year

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I hate calling in sick I don't want to inform anyone about my abnormal bowel movements

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A massive grouper (toilet on the left for scale) 

(via)

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i'm 29 i'm still 15 i'm still 21 i'm already 89 i've been dead 200 years

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“Who will ever know your heart, who will ever know your mind? You have that fatal quality of silence – of a tight repression that suggests a hidden fire – yes, a burning fire unquenchable.”

— Daphne Du Maurier, from The Doll: The Lost Short Stories  (via goghst)

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Mahmoud Darwish, If I Were Another