zochi9-blog - Tumblr blog

[zochi9-blog]

Roger ☺️

[zochi9-blog]

Blood Test 💉

Today i got a phone call from the doctors. My blood test results were in and it turns out that i need to see a doctor to discuss my thyroid levels and b12. I know my thyroid isn’t going to be 100% since my body is healing and needs to rebalance my hormones. So regardless of what they tell me, i’m not taking any of their shit. You have to understand that a thyroid imbalance isn’t necessarily the problem; it’s merely a symptoms of the underlying problem, such as adrenal burn out or the pituitary gland. Doctors only aim to treat the symptoms, which only hurts your body even more. Why would you take synthetic hormones that only makes your body swing further out of balance? People look towards doctors as gods, when in fact they’re only human who have been educated on false information that identifies with sick care not health care. You have to take your health into your own hands and become completely in tune with your body. You didn’t develop a health problem overnight, it took many months and probably many years. And it’ll take however long it needs to heal from it. 

I believe that if you give your body the right environment, nourishment and love, it can heal from any disease. It just takes a lot of time and patience. It’s easy to get impatient and feel like giving up. But don’t give up because you don’t know just how close you are to positive change. 

So regardless of the results, i’m continuing on to heal myself naturally. I know my body can do it. 

[zochi9-blog]

[zochi9-blog]

The waiting game

So... i’m having a tough time dealing with how i feel. I’ve been high carb vegan RT4 for nearly 10 months (yes i know i’m impatient) and i still feel uncomfortable in my own skin. This metabolic damage has my hormones in a mess, especially my thyroid and it’s taking forever to heal my body. I’ve had enough... but i’ve got to keep reminding myself to be patient. Stressing over it will only prolong my suffering. It’s so difficult to control since i’m feeling like this all the time. It sucks to constantly feel like this, but it is my fault, so i have to deal with the payback. 

I’m not sure how long my body needs to heal. It does’t really matter since it’s going to take however long it needs to anyway and i’m still going to do the best i can to give my body enough care and nourishment 

[zochi9-blog]

Healing

This is a very long story and i’ll keep it short, without sparing the details.

For the last couple of years, i’ve been in a bad place. I’ve always struggled to find exactly what my purpose is and the more that time goes on, the worse i feel. I know that I need to bring about change and whatever happens, i need to be creative, because that’s who i am. I managed to find myself being pulled in the direction of creative advertising and i enjoyed the process of developing ideas to influence change and create impact. I want to open peoples minds and broaden their perspective, which is what advertising can do. Unfortunately, advertising is one of the worst tools used today, only used to manipulate people into buying shit they don’t need to impress people they don’t like etc. Why the hell would I want to fuel interest in something that not only destroying people, but also destroying the planet? There was no way i was ever going to create a campaign for crap like McDonalds. But if i learnt all of the techniques of advertising, i could use it for good and create great campaigns to bring change to our already severely damaged and brainwashed society. 

So, i found myself being drawn into the world of advertising and was accepted onto one of (if not) the best advertising schools. A very intense year long course that would provide me with the tools, the knowledge and my own portfolio to start a career. Unfortunately, this was probably one of the worst time periods of my life. I was having battles in my head everyday because i felt like i was on the wrong track, but at the same time i felt i had no other option. I felt trapped. In hindsight, i should have just left and saved myself the devastation that i eventually became. I spent 13 months in a state of panic, depression and turmoil. I didn’t eat, drink, sleep or share much of the pain inside me. I can’t blame the course completely, because i put a lot of pressure on my self. But at the same time, everyone else at the school was under the same tremendous amount of pressure as well as the threats to produce great work all of the time. Looking back, my health should never have been sacrificed for putting up with that shit. Especially as i’d eventually work for a corrupt agency that only cares about kissing the arse of corrupt brands. I could have saved myself the mental and physical torture if i had just listened to my instincts and left. Unfortunately i was in a place of fear and doing things out of fear only brings pain. 

So after 13 months of this shit, i finally decided i’d had enough. My body and mind were dead. I was committed to bringing myself back to life and i didn’t care how long it would take me. I wasn’t going back. 

My adrenals were burned out from lack of food, water, sleep and an immense amount of constant stress. My thyroid was out of whack and i was constantly tired. In the end my brain just couldn’t function. I felt like i couldn’t think about anything. I just wanted to stare into space. 

For a long time before the advertising course, i wanted to become vegan and help the vegan community to grow. So in order to heal, i fuelled my body with as much fruit and veg as i could. I slept as much as i could and also rested throughout the day. I did do 30 mins of intense exercise a day, which i probably shouldn’t have done. I realised that i had really fucked my body up and it was going to take a very long time to heal. My hormones were completely out of balance and i had caused metabolic damage. After finally nourishing myself and giving my body the rest it needed, my stomach swelled to the point where i looked massively pregnant. Forget 9 months pregnant, i looked like i was 19 months pregnant! There was so much swelling, which was mainly fluid retention. It’s like punching your fist into a wall. The first thing your body does is swell in order to fix it. Apparently, depending on the amount of damage done, it can take months to years to heal. 

So here i am healing myself from severe metabolic damage/hormone imbalance. The most importantly thing is nourishing your body with a high carb whole foods vegan diet. It’s really important to eat an unlimited amount - making sure you eat 2500-3000 + calories (for a female) in order to give your body the nourishment it needs to heal. It’s equally important to drink 2 litres + water everyday and get plenty of sleep and rest. 

I’ve been healing myself for nearly 10 months and i’m still swollen. I’ve already broken down a number of times because i’ve had enough and i want to be completely happy and healthy again. It gets a bit much when you’re sick of wearing oversized jumpers to hide the swelling. It’s a long road to recovery. 

I can’t wait to heal. I’m doing everything i possibly can to help myself and i will never let anything destroy my health ever again. I don’t know what i’m going to do career wise but right now i couldn’t care less. 

[zochi9-blog]

currently healing... i’ll explain

[zochi9-blog]

[zochi9-blog]

Let’s get real

Ok, so i’ve come to the conclusion that i’m done with holding back. Naturally i’m very reserved and won’t let a lot of people get close to me. I never give anything away and this has only caused me pain. I’m pretty much a closed book when it comes to sharing my personal views and feelings with anyone. I’m just all too aware that people in general are complete twats, so why would i ever share anything personal with them? Unfortunately, it gets to the point where you pretty much isolate yourself from everyone and eventually the whole world. There are good people out there, but if you don’t give them the chance, then you’ll never know. 

So i’ve decided that this is the start of being open. This is where i’ll share my inner most thoughts, feelings and moments of pain and happiness; as difficult as it may be.

If anyone finds this page, i hope it’ll bring you some relief, escape or hope. Maybe it’ll give you a different perspective. Maybe you’re like me and it’ll give you some comfort, or maybe you’re the complete opposite and it’ll give you some insight on the thoughts and feelings of a secretive mind. 

[zochi9-blog]

Mint Nicecream 😍

[zochi9-blog]

Meet Roger. 

This little one has decided that our house is now his new home. I admit that i might have encouraged this... but you can’t force a cat to do what they don’t want to do. 

As long as he’s happy. 

[zochi9-blog]

🤒

For the last 2 weeks i have been ridiculously sick. Not only have I been feeling like a big pile of shit, but i’ve literally fallen a part. I feel like everything has crumbled. Life feels like a struggle and no matter how hard i try to fight to make things better, it feels hopeless. Giving up is never an option, but yesterday, i felt so close 😔 I just don’t know what more i can do to make things go right. I’m trying to remain positive. I think getting sick on top of trying to heal myself has really got to me. I want to be ok. I want to be happy. 

[zochi9-blog]

Life lessons

Ok, so the last couple of days have proved 2 things. And these 2 things are probably the most relevant in my life than anything else. 

It gets worse before it gets better.

Right now i’m doing a lot of healing and it’s taking a long time. I’m really not surprised since not eating or drinking enough, high stress, overworking, no sleep and total mind and body fatigue for over a year has really screwed me up. I’ve found that healing takes as long as it needs to and it’s a slow and steady process. During this process i’ve realised it gets worse before it gets better. It’s a real challenge for me since i’m a really impatient person. Really impatient. I want to feel great immediately, which i know it’s purely irrational. So for me it’s a real challenge and i guess it’s a life lesson too. The body does what it needs to do, we just have to get out of its way. 

Consistency is the key 

Consistency is probably the most important thing when it comes to absolutely everything. if you want to be great at something, consistency. If you want to change your life, consistency. If you want to be an athlete, consistency. If you want to heal, consistency. Anything that is worth having, needs dedication, hard work and consistency. It needs to be worked on daily. The results are revealed over time. - and as an impatient person, this can be excruciating. So once again, i’m learning to become patient. 

[zochi9-blog]

This.

[zochi9-blog]

that would be great 

[zochi9-blog]

[zochi9-blog]

Nothing more satisfying 😁