zyinn

[zyinn]

Voice Log | Entry 17:

The Pilots

09:58 - 6.9.24

Pilots. I wanted to be one myself, but I ended in the mechanics area. You'd think I'd be disappointed, but I won't lie, it's a lot of fun. The pilots make sure I never have a dull moment as well. I was promoted to work directly with the ones who choose and these pilots are so odd. To be fair, syncing their bodies and brains directly to the mechs and filling them with drugs that make conflict genuinely addicting are obviously gonna twist them a bit, but I expected them to be constantly tired and sluggish. I could not be more wrong. They seem even more energetic than a person without all that. They make me feel like I'm almost too normal. I can barely even describe them.

They're so...volatile. So passionate about who they are. And so open as well. The tunings always starts silent, but they'll clock my ADHD or pick up on a reference I make and that leads to nonstop conversation. It's made me realize that they're just like me. They just want another person to talk to. To express themselves towards. They're not living weapons. They still feel and they have everything I have, despite their position. Even the the most twisted pilots have their moments. Having combat junkies tell you that you make a life outside of battle almost seem interesting, or the emotionless elites tell you that they appreciate your contributions to their efficiency...

...

It's nice.

And I won't lie, that makes it harder to do my job. I'm preparing these mechs for battle. I've come to care about these pilots quite a bit. They gave me a home. They're my friends now. I've spent hours upon hours understanding and coming to care for them. I can't just be cool with preparing them to risk their lives. At the same time though, I know better than that. I know that they've chosen to be here to some degree. I know that whatever passion they have goes into being the pilots they are. Trying to take that away from them would be the worst thing I could do to them. So I give every tuning my all. I try my best to let them know that their desires are seen and supported.

I've asked a lot of them if they really want to go into battle. Some were simple. Stern denials due to fear or loathing of conflict, excited confirmations due to childish dreams and desires for glory, and indifference to the fact life has you here and you're good at it, so might as well. Some were complicated. Stories of how facing conflict to be who you wish to be, tying into their genders or sexualities. Tangents about having a body thay can do so much and helping those who gave it to you, being steeled by the understanding of true weakness. Promises made to loved ones, alive or dead, putting your heart into the things that did the same for you. The overwhelming desire to see suffering, to see life end, either because it's all they know, or because they simply enjoy it.

...

They thank me. For tuning their mechs, for caring about them, sometimes, even for arguing against them. They all appreciate my efforts, whether or not it supports them. They know I care...and that makes me happy.

--LOG END--

This is the first of many little stories I'll write here. I hope you guys enjoy and I hope you can leave tips on how I can make these better as well.

[zyinn]

Mechposting has grabbed me by the collar in a way no mere mortal should ever have to experience. It was so sudden. I was but a mere man, who had clicked on an innocent little link to a post of a mecha drawing that had caught my eye. Little did I know the most intricate and ensaring trap had been placed right beneath my metaphorical foot. Never have I wanted to be so many things so badly. I want to be the pilots, the mechs, the combat dolls, the mechanics. I made this account just to scroll through this form of hypnosis wrongfully labled as a tag. Hyperfixation is a crude understatement of what mechposting is to me. I need to consume the tag. Every single post must be put into my mind. This experience has made me heavily religious. Jesus Christ and all of his love must have guided me here, knowing that this would be a place where I can find true joy.