chaos-mp3

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Currently having the most epic mental breakdown in the middle of a Walmart lol

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The first thing I did this morning was fall out of bed. Then I fell down the stairs going to get breakfast. I think I have brain damage now…

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Someone said my sanity is fading but I’m pretty sure that bitch never even existed in the first place.

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The next time someone pisses me off I’m showing them hardcore yaoi until they apologize out of fear.

I’m done with these mfs, man. I fear this is the only way 🫥

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The kid I’m babysitting just asked me to un-Dino his Dino nuggets. Excuse me?!? That is a serial offense, even for a kid.

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An actual text I recieved at 3:49am.

“Can you bring me your bow and arrow? There’s a beast in my room”

First of all, IM ON VACATION IN ANOTHER CONTINENT, BUDDY.

Second, WHAT DO YOU MEAN?!?!

Third, it was a spider and he was just being a dumbass.

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I fear that my last brain cell has packed up and left to go find a purpose. It took whatever ideas I had with it so I now have a hollow brain cavity smh

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All of my friends are younger than me, so now that I’m graduating I get to hear things like

“Don’t worry we will remember you even when you’re gone”

And

“It’s like you’ll still be with us in memory…”

Like, I’m not DYING. You’ll still see me around, smh.

I love my kiddos but damn are they mean sometimes

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I recently met up with some of my friends and they told me that now all 13 people in their friend group are now my children.

Unfortunately I now have illegally adopted 49 children. They will receive love and care, and I will receive dms at 3am asking for me to bring them potatoes and chocolate milk.

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I need caffeine to work properly because I woke up today and I immediately proceeded to cry, complain about waking up, and then go straight back to sleep.

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Alright, who blew outback’s back out? I need to know for…scientific purposes.

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Todays…experience

*me playing ‘1 hour of silence occasionally broken up by groan tube sounds’ from the TV speakers not realizing its at full volume*

TV - *emits most ground shaking groan tube sound, making my mom scream and me fall out of my chair*

I couldn’t stop laughing for like 20 minutes lol

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Me (reading news notification) : *gasp* uh oh, Spiderman veteran confirms he won't return?! You know what that means!

Percussion kid : Rascism

Me : What-

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One of the percussion children I lead decided to text in the gc and ask me if I had fallen down the stairs yet. I'm no longer phased by these sort of things but it seriously made me shake my head in disappointment.

This was the first message I saw when I woke up.

I mean, I did actually end up falling last night out of pure exhaustion and laziness, but that's beside the point.

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@nintendo if you're gonna use puns and jokes in ACNH then I beg you to make them a reality! I wanna see my carp 'carpool' because for some reason i am catching too many and now the silly little pun is all that I can think about...also did y'all know that a non-moving snail could technically be called an escar-stay???

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Ok but the Napoleonfish is literally Megamind in fish form.

Someone had to say it...

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"If I haven't had caffeine, don't talk to me. I'll end up telling you that the moon is cheese with a confident face, and then proceed to state 'facts' that 'support it' for over an hour" - Me explaining the school year to my freshmen 'children'